Belong to You
Page 36
Being with me hadn’t even been enough for Michael, and he didn’t have p**n stars available at his beck and call.
For the first time since I met him, I was glad that Jack was gone on a business trip and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night. I needed some time to think and clear my head. Being around him just made everything seem so easy and natural, like it was just him and me against the world, and no one else existed. But that wasn’t reality. I had walked around with blinders on for a long time with Michael, and I couldn’t allow myself to be blind again. It hurt too much when it ended.
I sorted through my mail, exchanged a few texts with Sienna and decided to call my mom before I had to get ready for work. She had left me another message a few days ago, but I was at Jack’s and completely forgot to call her back. We talked for a while about her book club, dad’s latest wood project and how I was adjusting in the city. I hadn’t planned on mentioning Jack, because I didn’t want to worry her. I knew she had been worried about me after my breakup with Michael, and I figured it was better not to bring up that I was spending almost all of my free time with a man that she would assume was a rebound.
“I was starting to think I was going to have to send out a search party for you dear.”
“I’m sorry Mom, I was out and didn’t pick up the message until this morning.” Half a lie was better than a full lie.
“I called three days ago, were you traveling for a show?” Damn it, I forgot that Mom doesn’t miss anything and I needed to be more careful.
“Ummm, no. I was at a friends.”
“Siennas?”
“Ummm, no.” Why couldn’t I be a better liar? Some people didn’t even have to think of a lie, they just opened their mouth and they came out fluently.
“Did you make some new friends?” Crap. She wasn’t going to stop until she got an explanation.
“No, mom. I met someone. I wasn’t going to mention it because it is so new.” If you counted Hawaii, it had been almost two months already, so new wasn’t exactly the truth.
“Oh.” I knew how my mother worked.
When she wanted more information, she would say “oh.” And me, being the type of person I was, would not be able to take the awkward silence that ensued and would vomit an explanation. But I wasn’t planning to give on the subject of Jack.
“Yes, mom. I just don’t want to talk about it yet.”
“Oh.”
Damn her. “I don’t want you to worry about me, mom. I’m fine.”
“So I should be worried about the new man you are seeing?” Yes mom, he makes p**n os and has control issues. “No, mom, I didn’t mean that you should worry.”
“Oh.”
God damn it, I needed to get out myself out of her web.
“What I meant was, I knew you would worry about me being in a relationship so soon after what happened with Michael.”
“Of course I worry about you honey, that’s what mom’s are supposed to do. So it’s more than dating then, you’re in a relationship?”
Shit, now I’ve worried her and put her into full on interrogation mode. I had no choice but to tell her something to make her feel better.
“Yes, mom. His name is Jack and he is very good to me.” I breathed out a sign of relief as I finally spoke the truth.
“Where did you meet him?”
Shit, shit. I was completely unprepared for that one. “I met him at work, mom.” I was too mortified to tell my mother than I met a man on what was supposed to be my honeymoon.
“Oh, so you work with him.” From the frying pan to the fire.
“Sort of. Look mom, my doorbell just buzzed. I have to run.”
“Okay, but I am thinking of coming down for a weekend, maybe next weekend?” Oh god, what have I done. “Sure, mom. Call me during the week. I have to run.”
I kicked myself as I got ready for work for not being better prepared for my call with my mom. I had her worried and was going to be subjected to grueling in person interrogation.
***
The night went by fast and the club was pretty quiet for a Thursday. It was almost midnight and we were on our final song when I caught him staring at me from his seat at the bar. Michael. What the hell was the ass**le doing at the club? I looked away, but it was too late, he knew that I saw him. I finished up and he wasted no time in making his way to the stage.
“Why are you here?” I wasn’t even going to pretend to be courteous.
“I needed to speak to you and you won’t return my calls Syd.” Michael took a step toward me and I took one back. I knew Travis was at my side before I actually saw him just from the look on Michael’s face.
“It’s okay Travis, I know him. But thank you.” I smiled wearily at Travis to reassure him.
I saw a look of relief on Michael’s face as Travis nodded and walked back to start packing up. “What do you want Michael. Why do you keep calling me? “ My voice was low to keep Travis under control, but I made no mistake that I was angry.
“Can we talk?” A pause as he searched my face for something. “Please?” I exhaled loudly. “Fine, but I have pack up, so you can wait.” Michael nodded and went to wait by the bar.
I took my time packing up and had to reassure Travis I was okay three more times before he would leave. There were still a few stragglers in the club, so at least I wouldn’t have to be alone with Michael.
Eventually I walked over to the bar, even though I dreaded looking at Michael, no less having a conversation in my place of work with him.
“Do you want a shot of tequila?” It annoyed me that he knew that I did, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing how well he knew me.
“No.” I stood a few feet from him as he sat on the bar stool.
“Can we sit at a table so that we have privacy? Please?” Michael looked to the bartender standing a few feet away and back to me.
I walked to an empty table a few feet from the bar and sat without saying a word, leaving him to follow me like a puppy.
Michael sat and I stared at him, waiting for the reason he was in New York, the reason he was at my job. He looked uncomfortable as he sat there looking back at me. He reached for my hand as he spoke.
“Syd, I don’t know where to start. I’m so sorry and I need you.”
I pulled my hand away from his like his was on fire and I was burned. I was suddenly passed angry and closer to irate. I stood and spoke loudly “Is that why you came here?”
For the first time since I met him, I was glad that Jack was gone on a business trip and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night. I needed some time to think and clear my head. Being around him just made everything seem so easy and natural, like it was just him and me against the world, and no one else existed. But that wasn’t reality. I had walked around with blinders on for a long time with Michael, and I couldn’t allow myself to be blind again. It hurt too much when it ended.
I sorted through my mail, exchanged a few texts with Sienna and decided to call my mom before I had to get ready for work. She had left me another message a few days ago, but I was at Jack’s and completely forgot to call her back. We talked for a while about her book club, dad’s latest wood project and how I was adjusting in the city. I hadn’t planned on mentioning Jack, because I didn’t want to worry her. I knew she had been worried about me after my breakup with Michael, and I figured it was better not to bring up that I was spending almost all of my free time with a man that she would assume was a rebound.
“I was starting to think I was going to have to send out a search party for you dear.”
“I’m sorry Mom, I was out and didn’t pick up the message until this morning.” Half a lie was better than a full lie.
“I called three days ago, were you traveling for a show?” Damn it, I forgot that Mom doesn’t miss anything and I needed to be more careful.
“Ummm, no. I was at a friends.”
“Siennas?”
“Ummm, no.” Why couldn’t I be a better liar? Some people didn’t even have to think of a lie, they just opened their mouth and they came out fluently.
“Did you make some new friends?” Crap. She wasn’t going to stop until she got an explanation.
“No, mom. I met someone. I wasn’t going to mention it because it is so new.” If you counted Hawaii, it had been almost two months already, so new wasn’t exactly the truth.
“Oh.” I knew how my mother worked.
When she wanted more information, she would say “oh.” And me, being the type of person I was, would not be able to take the awkward silence that ensued and would vomit an explanation. But I wasn’t planning to give on the subject of Jack.
“Yes, mom. I just don’t want to talk about it yet.”
“Oh.”
Damn her. “I don’t want you to worry about me, mom. I’m fine.”
“So I should be worried about the new man you are seeing?” Yes mom, he makes p**n os and has control issues. “No, mom, I didn’t mean that you should worry.”
“Oh.”
God damn it, I needed to get out myself out of her web.
“What I meant was, I knew you would worry about me being in a relationship so soon after what happened with Michael.”
“Of course I worry about you honey, that’s what mom’s are supposed to do. So it’s more than dating then, you’re in a relationship?”
Shit, now I’ve worried her and put her into full on interrogation mode. I had no choice but to tell her something to make her feel better.
“Yes, mom. His name is Jack and he is very good to me.” I breathed out a sign of relief as I finally spoke the truth.
“Where did you meet him?”
Shit, shit. I was completely unprepared for that one. “I met him at work, mom.” I was too mortified to tell my mother than I met a man on what was supposed to be my honeymoon.
“Oh, so you work with him.” From the frying pan to the fire.
“Sort of. Look mom, my doorbell just buzzed. I have to run.”
“Okay, but I am thinking of coming down for a weekend, maybe next weekend?” Oh god, what have I done. “Sure, mom. Call me during the week. I have to run.”
I kicked myself as I got ready for work for not being better prepared for my call with my mom. I had her worried and was going to be subjected to grueling in person interrogation.
***
The night went by fast and the club was pretty quiet for a Thursday. It was almost midnight and we were on our final song when I caught him staring at me from his seat at the bar. Michael. What the hell was the ass**le doing at the club? I looked away, but it was too late, he knew that I saw him. I finished up and he wasted no time in making his way to the stage.
“Why are you here?” I wasn’t even going to pretend to be courteous.
“I needed to speak to you and you won’t return my calls Syd.” Michael took a step toward me and I took one back. I knew Travis was at my side before I actually saw him just from the look on Michael’s face.
“It’s okay Travis, I know him. But thank you.” I smiled wearily at Travis to reassure him.
I saw a look of relief on Michael’s face as Travis nodded and walked back to start packing up. “What do you want Michael. Why do you keep calling me? “ My voice was low to keep Travis under control, but I made no mistake that I was angry.
“Can we talk?” A pause as he searched my face for something. “Please?” I exhaled loudly. “Fine, but I have pack up, so you can wait.” Michael nodded and went to wait by the bar.
I took my time packing up and had to reassure Travis I was okay three more times before he would leave. There were still a few stragglers in the club, so at least I wouldn’t have to be alone with Michael.
Eventually I walked over to the bar, even though I dreaded looking at Michael, no less having a conversation in my place of work with him.
“Do you want a shot of tequila?” It annoyed me that he knew that I did, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing how well he knew me.
“No.” I stood a few feet from him as he sat on the bar stool.
“Can we sit at a table so that we have privacy? Please?” Michael looked to the bartender standing a few feet away and back to me.
I walked to an empty table a few feet from the bar and sat without saying a word, leaving him to follow me like a puppy.
Michael sat and I stared at him, waiting for the reason he was in New York, the reason he was at my job. He looked uncomfortable as he sat there looking back at me. He reached for my hand as he spoke.
“Syd, I don’t know where to start. I’m so sorry and I need you.”
I pulled my hand away from his like his was on fire and I was burned. I was suddenly passed angry and closer to irate. I stood and spoke loudly “Is that why you came here?”
