Beyond the Consequences
Page 21
They both looked toward the large windows of the restaurant. More snow had fallen while they’d lunched. “I wish he’d have joined us for lunch. I always feel bad when he’s by himself.”
Claire shook her head. “I asked him to join us. He said he didn’t want to intrude. Besides…” A gleam came to Claire’s emerald eyes. “…he isn’t always alone. I’m kind of enjoying watching him and Taylor.”
“Hmmm?”
“Well, I just get this feeling there’s some unresolved tension.” She raised her brows. “And I don’t mean the bad kind either. They’re both professional. However, the atmosphere is different when Taylor’s working with Eric than it is when she’s working with Phil. I doubt he even realizes how obvious it is.”
Courtney laughed. “Probably not. After all, he’s a man.”
Both women giggled as Phil approached the table.
“Are you ladies ready for me to get the car? I can warm it up. Mother Nature isn’t being too kind to us today.”
“That’d be great, thank you. Unless…” Claire’s expression sparkled. “…we could convince you to join us for one more cup of coffee?”
Phil shook his head. “Oh, no. I’ve been hearing your chatter from across the way. I think I’ll stay out of all this girl talk. I don’t have much to add to the conversation.”
Both ladies laughed into their mugs as Phil walked away and secured his jacket and gloves. Once he was gone, Claire said, “I’m sorry we haven’t done this more often. Since we returned from the South Pacific, things have been busy.”
“Speaking of busy, I’m sorry your trip to New York was ruined. How’s Nichol doing with all of it?”
“She’s doing fine,” Claire replied. “She really isn’t having any problems. I wasn’t sure how much to talk to her about it. I didn’t want her repressing it and having issues with it later, and I didn’t want to scare her by dwelling on it too much.”
Courtney’s lips pressed into a tight smile. “You can tell that you talk to your therapists a lot.”
Claire’s forehead rose. “Ha! Yes, I guess I’m starting to sound like them. Well, I do talk to them a lot. Between my twice weekly sessions at Everwood and our once a week family session with the child psychiatrist, I feel like there’s very little that ever goes unsaid.”
“I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable by my asking, but do you think it helps?”
“I guess,” Claire commented. “It’s been our norm for the last few months. I just want to be done with it—and not have to schedule my weeks around therapy. I know everyone’s worried, but I feel good.”
“Good?” Courtney asked.
“Yes, good,” Claire confirmed.
“Claire, I’ve been your friend for over seven years. I love you, and I know how you’re fond of superlatives. Things are usually the greatest, fantastic, etcetera. I could go on. Good is never good. What’s going on?”
Claire’s eyes dropped to the table. “I haven’t said anything to the therapists, but it’s all the medicine they have me on. I know it helped me get to where I am. I just want to be totally me again.”
“Have you talked to anyone about it?”
Her green eyes met Courtney’s blue. “Do you mean Tony?”
Courtney nodded.
“No. I don’t want to worry him. He’s continually asking me how I am, how I feel, and if I’m all right.” Tears threatened to fall. “I want to be all right. I want to be me. Instead of talking to therapists, I want to do this.” She gestured to herself and then Courtney and her voice quieted. “I know it’s stupid. The therapy and medications helped me confront my past. I’ve done that—over and over. Now I want my future.”
“That doesn’t sound stupid at all. Perhaps you should talk to your doctors. Tell them how you feel.”
Claire stood and wrapped her arms around her friend. Stepping back, she smiled. “Thank you. Thank you for not telling me it’s too soon, or that I don’t know what’s best for me. Thank you for listening.”
Tilting her head, Courtney whispered, “Emily?”
“Yes,” Claire admitted. “I started to broach the subject with her the other day and she was all over me.” Reaching for Courtney’s arm, Claire hurriedly continued, “I know how you all feel about her, but don’t. She’s trying. She just has this obsession with mothering me.”
“Well, honey, after her little girl is born, she’ll be too busy with Michael and the baby to worry about mothering you.”
Claire sighed as they left the table. “It feels great to talk to someone who knows me, knows the real me and everyone around me. I can’t say these things to my therapists or doctors. They don’t get it. They’d want me to explore my feelings or my motivations. I just want to say, ‘hey, I love my sister, but today she’s driving me nuts’ without delving into the psychology of why I feel that way.”
Making their way through the tables, Courtney grinned knowingly and whispered, “You know I’m here anytime. My guess is that your husband isn’t the best sounding board for your complaints about your sister.”
Claire feigned a laugh. “That goes without saying. However, he’s trying too. They both are. Very trying.” She added with a giggle as her eyes lit up. “And I’m very happy that John decided to stay at Rawlings Industries. Even though it’s still strained with Emily, when Tony talks about John, I sense a genuine admiration.”
Claire shook her head. “I asked him to join us. He said he didn’t want to intrude. Besides…” A gleam came to Claire’s emerald eyes. “…he isn’t always alone. I’m kind of enjoying watching him and Taylor.”
“Hmmm?”
“Well, I just get this feeling there’s some unresolved tension.” She raised her brows. “And I don’t mean the bad kind either. They’re both professional. However, the atmosphere is different when Taylor’s working with Eric than it is when she’s working with Phil. I doubt he even realizes how obvious it is.”
Courtney laughed. “Probably not. After all, he’s a man.”
Both women giggled as Phil approached the table.
“Are you ladies ready for me to get the car? I can warm it up. Mother Nature isn’t being too kind to us today.”
“That’d be great, thank you. Unless…” Claire’s expression sparkled. “…we could convince you to join us for one more cup of coffee?”
Phil shook his head. “Oh, no. I’ve been hearing your chatter from across the way. I think I’ll stay out of all this girl talk. I don’t have much to add to the conversation.”
Both ladies laughed into their mugs as Phil walked away and secured his jacket and gloves. Once he was gone, Claire said, “I’m sorry we haven’t done this more often. Since we returned from the South Pacific, things have been busy.”
“Speaking of busy, I’m sorry your trip to New York was ruined. How’s Nichol doing with all of it?”
“She’s doing fine,” Claire replied. “She really isn’t having any problems. I wasn’t sure how much to talk to her about it. I didn’t want her repressing it and having issues with it later, and I didn’t want to scare her by dwelling on it too much.”
Courtney’s lips pressed into a tight smile. “You can tell that you talk to your therapists a lot.”
Claire’s forehead rose. “Ha! Yes, I guess I’m starting to sound like them. Well, I do talk to them a lot. Between my twice weekly sessions at Everwood and our once a week family session with the child psychiatrist, I feel like there’s very little that ever goes unsaid.”
“I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable by my asking, but do you think it helps?”
“I guess,” Claire commented. “It’s been our norm for the last few months. I just want to be done with it—and not have to schedule my weeks around therapy. I know everyone’s worried, but I feel good.”
“Good?” Courtney asked.
“Yes, good,” Claire confirmed.
“Claire, I’ve been your friend for over seven years. I love you, and I know how you’re fond of superlatives. Things are usually the greatest, fantastic, etcetera. I could go on. Good is never good. What’s going on?”
Claire’s eyes dropped to the table. “I haven’t said anything to the therapists, but it’s all the medicine they have me on. I know it helped me get to where I am. I just want to be totally me again.”
“Have you talked to anyone about it?”
Her green eyes met Courtney’s blue. “Do you mean Tony?”
Courtney nodded.
“No. I don’t want to worry him. He’s continually asking me how I am, how I feel, and if I’m all right.” Tears threatened to fall. “I want to be all right. I want to be me. Instead of talking to therapists, I want to do this.” She gestured to herself and then Courtney and her voice quieted. “I know it’s stupid. The therapy and medications helped me confront my past. I’ve done that—over and over. Now I want my future.”
“That doesn’t sound stupid at all. Perhaps you should talk to your doctors. Tell them how you feel.”
Claire stood and wrapped her arms around her friend. Stepping back, she smiled. “Thank you. Thank you for not telling me it’s too soon, or that I don’t know what’s best for me. Thank you for listening.”
Tilting her head, Courtney whispered, “Emily?”
“Yes,” Claire admitted. “I started to broach the subject with her the other day and she was all over me.” Reaching for Courtney’s arm, Claire hurriedly continued, “I know how you all feel about her, but don’t. She’s trying. She just has this obsession with mothering me.”
“Well, honey, after her little girl is born, she’ll be too busy with Michael and the baby to worry about mothering you.”
Claire sighed as they left the table. “It feels great to talk to someone who knows me, knows the real me and everyone around me. I can’t say these things to my therapists or doctors. They don’t get it. They’d want me to explore my feelings or my motivations. I just want to say, ‘hey, I love my sister, but today she’s driving me nuts’ without delving into the psychology of why I feel that way.”
Making their way through the tables, Courtney grinned knowingly and whispered, “You know I’m here anytime. My guess is that your husband isn’t the best sounding board for your complaints about your sister.”
Claire feigned a laugh. “That goes without saying. However, he’s trying too. They both are. Very trying.” She added with a giggle as her eyes lit up. “And I’m very happy that John decided to stay at Rawlings Industries. Even though it’s still strained with Emily, when Tony talks about John, I sense a genuine admiration.”
