Beyond the Consequences
Page 46
Claire recalled the memories of days spent at her lake. Recently she’d gone there with Tony and Nichol. While they’d had a wonderful afternoon, it wasn’t as relaxing and rejuvenating as it used to be. Her lake, the woods, those private times had helped her survive. She realized that it was as necessary in her everyday life as the connections she’d forged. The secret was balance.
During that afternoon, she also realized that if a trip around Manhattan could enlighten her, she didn’t need to spend as much time with Dr. Brown. If life were a balancing act and alone time was part of it, then something needed to give. There were only so many hours in a day, week, or year, and Claire had no intentions of decreasing her time with Tony or Nichol. She also didn’t want to lose time with Emily, Courtney, Meredith, or Sue.
Claire was ready to take on life again. With the effects of the medications gone, she was ready to experience every day to its fullest. That didn’t mean she’d stop all of her counseling. The family court had mandated a minimum of a year as one of the stipulations of Tony and Claire’s regained custody. Everwood had also asked for a year. It wasn’t mandated, but just like the medication, a gradual decrease seemed reasonable.
As Claire walked the paths of the park on her way toward the streets, she recalled the night Tony proposed. A smile materialized as she thought about his words. Though she couldn’t remember them verbatim, she did remember her shock at his declaration. As much as her life changed the day he took her, it also changed the evening he asked her to be his wife. That night opened the floodgate for feelings and emotions she’d been fighting. Though they’d had many ups and downs since that night nearly six and a half years ago, Claire knew the love she felt that night was only a seedling to what she felt today.
Lost in her thoughts, it was after 6:30 by the time Claire made it back to their apartment. With the spring sun, longer days, and constant buzz of people, time had been difficult to decipher. When she reached the foyer of their apartment, Claire had a fleeting vision of the man from her past. A bygone aura reverberated through the entry as dark eyes peered down from the top of the stairs and the deep voice demanded answers. “Where have you been?”
Though the scene may have resembled another time, it varied significantly in Claire’s response. She didn’t fear his question or the consequences of her carelessness. Honestly, she hadn’t thought about his reaction at all until she saw him. Rarely was she late; however, when she was, she usually did her best to keep everyone informed. The day and afternoon hadn’t been about everyone. It’d been about her: rediscovering herself, by herself.
“I’ve been all around the city,” she replied with a smile as she began to ascend the steps.
He met her near the middle. “I’ve called your phone a hundred times.”
Claire kissed his cheek. “I guess I didn’t hear it. I didn’t realize the time until I was in the taxi on the way home.”
“And you couldn’t call?”
“Tony, I was on my way.” Ignoring his darkened gaze, she asked, “Do we have plans?”
Seizing her elbow with his jaws clenched, Tony briskly led her to their suite. Before she could think or register his actions, the door closed and his lips were on hers. This wasn’t the sweet and gentle husband who once again instigated a stir deep inside of her.
No, this was a man on a mission. Roughly, his fingers grasped her hair, pulling her head back and exposing her already claimed mouth. His unspoken hunger unleashed in a frenzy as his tongue demanded entrance and her lips willingly parted. The scent of cologne and the taste of whiskey combined to create an intoxicating cocktail as her lips bruised and her insides melted.
As his body thrust against hers, Claire’s petite hands found his chest and pushed. She had to know he’d stop if that were what she wanted. She didn’t want it, but nevertheless, she needed that grasp at control when he seemed suddenly without any. The temperature of their suite rose and the air stilled as he pulled away and dark eyes bore deep into the emerald green.
“Tony? What’s wrong?”
“I couldn’t reach you.” He gripped her chin. “Do you have any idea what I’d do if I lost you?”
“You’re not losing me. Every time I’m out late doesn’t mean anything has happened.”
He towered above her as each statement came forth louder than the one before. “Taylor or Roach weren’t with you. You didn’t have Eric. You were all by yourself. Jan didn’t know when you’d be back. I’ve been here since 4:00. I even called the spa. They said you’d left hours ago. I was fuck’n losing it.”
Claire reached for her husband’s cheek. “I’m here. You’re here. So…” She gazed at him from behind veiled lashes, “…now that you’ve got me, what do you want to do with me?”
The blackness of his penetrating gaze swirled with suede, a soft light infiltrating the darkness as the heat of his angst morphed into the fire of unrestrained desire.
With another tug of her hair, her head once again went back and Claire closed her eyes as warm whiskey-scented breath bathed her cheeks and neck. Though her swollen lips ached for his, his were busy tormenting her soft skin with kisses that began behind her ear and descended to her neck and below. As he teased and taunted the sensitive skin of her collarbone, her fingers wove through his think mane. Moans and pleas filled the room as with each touch Claire was reminded of the man who claimed her body and soul—the man who at one time starred in her nightmares and now starred in her life. He wasn’t her star, but her sun. Just like the real celestial object that controlled the solar system, Tony was the gravitational pull whom she willingly allowed to dictate her orbit and warm her heart.
During that afternoon, she also realized that if a trip around Manhattan could enlighten her, she didn’t need to spend as much time with Dr. Brown. If life were a balancing act and alone time was part of it, then something needed to give. There were only so many hours in a day, week, or year, and Claire had no intentions of decreasing her time with Tony or Nichol. She also didn’t want to lose time with Emily, Courtney, Meredith, or Sue.
Claire was ready to take on life again. With the effects of the medications gone, she was ready to experience every day to its fullest. That didn’t mean she’d stop all of her counseling. The family court had mandated a minimum of a year as one of the stipulations of Tony and Claire’s regained custody. Everwood had also asked for a year. It wasn’t mandated, but just like the medication, a gradual decrease seemed reasonable.
As Claire walked the paths of the park on her way toward the streets, she recalled the night Tony proposed. A smile materialized as she thought about his words. Though she couldn’t remember them verbatim, she did remember her shock at his declaration. As much as her life changed the day he took her, it also changed the evening he asked her to be his wife. That night opened the floodgate for feelings and emotions she’d been fighting. Though they’d had many ups and downs since that night nearly six and a half years ago, Claire knew the love she felt that night was only a seedling to what she felt today.
Lost in her thoughts, it was after 6:30 by the time Claire made it back to their apartment. With the spring sun, longer days, and constant buzz of people, time had been difficult to decipher. When she reached the foyer of their apartment, Claire had a fleeting vision of the man from her past. A bygone aura reverberated through the entry as dark eyes peered down from the top of the stairs and the deep voice demanded answers. “Where have you been?”
Though the scene may have resembled another time, it varied significantly in Claire’s response. She didn’t fear his question or the consequences of her carelessness. Honestly, she hadn’t thought about his reaction at all until she saw him. Rarely was she late; however, when she was, she usually did her best to keep everyone informed. The day and afternoon hadn’t been about everyone. It’d been about her: rediscovering herself, by herself.
“I’ve been all around the city,” she replied with a smile as she began to ascend the steps.
He met her near the middle. “I’ve called your phone a hundred times.”
Claire kissed his cheek. “I guess I didn’t hear it. I didn’t realize the time until I was in the taxi on the way home.”
“And you couldn’t call?”
“Tony, I was on my way.” Ignoring his darkened gaze, she asked, “Do we have plans?”
Seizing her elbow with his jaws clenched, Tony briskly led her to their suite. Before she could think or register his actions, the door closed and his lips were on hers. This wasn’t the sweet and gentle husband who once again instigated a stir deep inside of her.
No, this was a man on a mission. Roughly, his fingers grasped her hair, pulling her head back and exposing her already claimed mouth. His unspoken hunger unleashed in a frenzy as his tongue demanded entrance and her lips willingly parted. The scent of cologne and the taste of whiskey combined to create an intoxicating cocktail as her lips bruised and her insides melted.
As his body thrust against hers, Claire’s petite hands found his chest and pushed. She had to know he’d stop if that were what she wanted. She didn’t want it, but nevertheless, she needed that grasp at control when he seemed suddenly without any. The temperature of their suite rose and the air stilled as he pulled away and dark eyes bore deep into the emerald green.
“Tony? What’s wrong?”
“I couldn’t reach you.” He gripped her chin. “Do you have any idea what I’d do if I lost you?”
“You’re not losing me. Every time I’m out late doesn’t mean anything has happened.”
He towered above her as each statement came forth louder than the one before. “Taylor or Roach weren’t with you. You didn’t have Eric. You were all by yourself. Jan didn’t know when you’d be back. I’ve been here since 4:00. I even called the spa. They said you’d left hours ago. I was fuck’n losing it.”
Claire reached for her husband’s cheek. “I’m here. You’re here. So…” She gazed at him from behind veiled lashes, “…now that you’ve got me, what do you want to do with me?”
The blackness of his penetrating gaze swirled with suede, a soft light infiltrating the darkness as the heat of his angst morphed into the fire of unrestrained desire.
With another tug of her hair, her head once again went back and Claire closed her eyes as warm whiskey-scented breath bathed her cheeks and neck. Though her swollen lips ached for his, his were busy tormenting her soft skin with kisses that began behind her ear and descended to her neck and below. As he teased and taunted the sensitive skin of her collarbone, her fingers wove through his think mane. Moans and pleas filled the room as with each touch Claire was reminded of the man who claimed her body and soul—the man who at one time starred in her nightmares and now starred in her life. He wasn’t her star, but her sun. Just like the real celestial object that controlled the solar system, Tony was the gravitational pull whom she willingly allowed to dictate her orbit and warm her heart.
