Beyond the Shadows
Page 105
“But something has changed.”
“This ruby, Kaede. I never heard of it. My father never spoke of it. Nothing is written about it in the royal records except to record its being in the treasury for at least two hundred years. It’s listed as the dragon’s heart. I think a third king, the regal third, the sword’s man, depends on me bringing this ruby to him.”
“What if you’re the third king? What if you’re the sword’s man? You said it was a sword that turned your hair white. Perhaps a threat approaches here, and you need the ruby to withstand it. Solon, you can’t leave. Not on some madman’s word.” Though she still sat in his lap, she was rigid, fear and anger rising in her.
Two fears deriding. The words were suddenly crystal. Damned prophecies could always be interpreted at least two ways, and usually both were correct.
“Kaede,” Solon said, “there’s a garrison called Screaming Winds that guards the pass between Cenaria and Khalidor. Dorian and I were there last fall. Dorian was unconscious most of the time, waking and scrawling fragments of prophecy and lapsing into trances again. One day he woke screaming. He demanded as much gold as I could get my hands on. I got it for him and we walked up into the hills to a stunted black oak. Dorian told me that Khali was coming and that she would tempt him. He said she would massacre everyone. He melted the gold and used it to cover his eyes and ears and made fetters for his arms and legs and asked me to drive stakes pinning him to the black oak. I wrapped him in blankets and left. The commander didn’t believe my warnings. I wanted to leave, but I took too long, so I had the men bind me in ropes and I emptied my glore vyrden, but before the men could blindfold me or block my ears, She came.”
“Khali?”
He stared into the distance. “I saw men throwing themselves off the wall. I saw a man tear his eyes out. And then, in a vision I thought was real, I saw you. I tried to go to you, but the ropes saved me. No one else survived. In fact, the Soulsworn came through and made sure everyone was dead. If a body hadn’t fallen on me and covered me in blood while I was praying, they would have killed me too.”
“So to what god should I offer sacrifices for saving your life?”
“None. It was a coincidence. A lazy soldier who didn’t clean the blood from his sword in freezing weather and couldn’t draw his sword.”
“While you just so happened to be praying,” she said. “That’s quite some coincidence.”
“Yes,” Solon said, more roughly than he meant to. “That’s what a coincidence is. Anyway, sorry, when I went to Dorian’s black oak, he was gone. His tracks lead north, toward Khalidor, but I couldn’t follow. I had to see you. Nothing else mattered. I signed on with a captain whose last run of the year was to Hokkai.”
“So this is why you believe Dorian’s prophecies,” she said.
“This is the dragon’s heart, Kaede. I’m the second king. A third king lives or dies by what I do with this.”
“What are the two fears?” she asked quietly.
“My fear of Khali and my fear of speaking the truth. The latter was the fear that cost Regnus his life. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance, first to speak honestly with you, and second to face Khali again. ‘Broken north, broken you, remade if you speak one word.’ I’ve still got something broken inside, Kaede. I thought marrying you would fix it, and I can’t tell you how happy I’ve been, and how much I want to stay here forever, but there’s a part of me that still whispers ‘coward.’”
“Coward? You’re Solon Stormrider! You braved the winter seas. You put down a rebellion single-handedly. You resisted a goddess. How are you a coward?”
“Dorian needed me when he went into Khalidor. He’s probably dead because I didn’t go. Regnus is dead because I wouldn’t risk telling him who I was. If the prophecy is true, there’s a word I have to speak, a life I can save, and I can be remade.”
Kaede’s eyes were troubled. “Will it be enough? Will there not be ever one more thing you need to do to prove that voice wrong? Will you chase valor until it kills you?”
He kissed her forehead. “I’ve already done the hardest part: I’ve told you the truth. I won’t go unless you give me your blessing. My loyalty is all to you, Kaede.”
Her eyes filled with a weight of grief. “My love, I won’t give your death my blessing.”
Solon held her gaze for a long time, then he tossed the Heart of the Dragon aside. “Then I stay,” he said.
Kaede pivoted, sitting astride him. She put her hands on both sides of his face and looked deep into his eyes. “Please don’t ask again. Please.”
“I won’t.”
Her lovemaking was so fierce it left him breathless. She rode him to a silent climax, and even as her pupils flared and her breath caught and her fingers clawed into his shoulders, her eyes never left his. Then she clung to him, shaking, tears and sweat mingling on his chest, but she didn’t say a word.
82
I don’t know if I should have married you,” Jenine said. “I think I made a mistake.”
They were sitting together in the enormous Godking’s carriage, slowly rumbling toward Black Barrow. Despite the dangers of bringing her to a battle, Dorian hadn’t been able to leave her behind. Some plot might unfold in Khaliras that would take her from him. And if he had another episode, she was the only person he trusted to cover for him.
“But you love me,” he said. “I know you do.”
“I do,” she admitted. “I respect you and I enjoy your company and I think you’re brilliant and honorable. You’re a great man. . . .”
“But?” he asked woodenly.
It came out in a rush. “But it’s not like it was with Logan. I know it’s not fair to compare you to a man who’s dead—maybe I just remember all the good things about him now that he’s gone, and I know—maybe it isn’t fair to expect love to be the same every time. Maybe with Logan I fell in love the way a girl falls in love and a woman’s love grows slowly and protects itself. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like, Dorian, but sometimes I feel so empty. Maybe I should have waited.”
I’m a fraud. But what could he do? Tell her the truth? Send her back to Cenaria and her infatuation for some petty princeling she didn’t even know? Together they were changing a kingdom, bringing light to a dark land. What could Logan give her compared to that? Why should Logan’s love be more deserving than his?
Jenine’s love was growing. Dorian knew it. It would grow more still when she realized she was pregnant with their child, he knew it. He’d seen that in his moments of madness on the battlefield, and hadn’t trusted it or anything else he’d seen there, but in the days since then, he’d looked at her again, and he was sure it was true. Not twins, as he’d first foreseen, but a child, a son. Maybe the twins were to be their next children. He’d been waiting for the right time to tell her the news, but no time had seemed right.
He still spent as much of his days with her as he could. Their lovemaking was less frequent now that he was using his harem, but whatever jealousy she might feel seemed outweighed by the sudden reversal of the concubines’ feeling toward her. Dorian had given her the credit for preserving their lives. That generosity cracked their envy and hatred. Instead of defeated rivals, Jenine suddenly had sisters, and her isolation melted with the spring snow.
“This ruby, Kaede. I never heard of it. My father never spoke of it. Nothing is written about it in the royal records except to record its being in the treasury for at least two hundred years. It’s listed as the dragon’s heart. I think a third king, the regal third, the sword’s man, depends on me bringing this ruby to him.”
“What if you’re the third king? What if you’re the sword’s man? You said it was a sword that turned your hair white. Perhaps a threat approaches here, and you need the ruby to withstand it. Solon, you can’t leave. Not on some madman’s word.” Though she still sat in his lap, she was rigid, fear and anger rising in her.
Two fears deriding. The words were suddenly crystal. Damned prophecies could always be interpreted at least two ways, and usually both were correct.
“Kaede,” Solon said, “there’s a garrison called Screaming Winds that guards the pass between Cenaria and Khalidor. Dorian and I were there last fall. Dorian was unconscious most of the time, waking and scrawling fragments of prophecy and lapsing into trances again. One day he woke screaming. He demanded as much gold as I could get my hands on. I got it for him and we walked up into the hills to a stunted black oak. Dorian told me that Khali was coming and that she would tempt him. He said she would massacre everyone. He melted the gold and used it to cover his eyes and ears and made fetters for his arms and legs and asked me to drive stakes pinning him to the black oak. I wrapped him in blankets and left. The commander didn’t believe my warnings. I wanted to leave, but I took too long, so I had the men bind me in ropes and I emptied my glore vyrden, but before the men could blindfold me or block my ears, She came.”
“Khali?”
He stared into the distance. “I saw men throwing themselves off the wall. I saw a man tear his eyes out. And then, in a vision I thought was real, I saw you. I tried to go to you, but the ropes saved me. No one else survived. In fact, the Soulsworn came through and made sure everyone was dead. If a body hadn’t fallen on me and covered me in blood while I was praying, they would have killed me too.”
“So to what god should I offer sacrifices for saving your life?”
“None. It was a coincidence. A lazy soldier who didn’t clean the blood from his sword in freezing weather and couldn’t draw his sword.”
“While you just so happened to be praying,” she said. “That’s quite some coincidence.”
“Yes,” Solon said, more roughly than he meant to. “That’s what a coincidence is. Anyway, sorry, when I went to Dorian’s black oak, he was gone. His tracks lead north, toward Khalidor, but I couldn’t follow. I had to see you. Nothing else mattered. I signed on with a captain whose last run of the year was to Hokkai.”
“So this is why you believe Dorian’s prophecies,” she said.
“This is the dragon’s heart, Kaede. I’m the second king. A third king lives or dies by what I do with this.”
“What are the two fears?” she asked quietly.
“My fear of Khali and my fear of speaking the truth. The latter was the fear that cost Regnus his life. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance, first to speak honestly with you, and second to face Khali again. ‘Broken north, broken you, remade if you speak one word.’ I’ve still got something broken inside, Kaede. I thought marrying you would fix it, and I can’t tell you how happy I’ve been, and how much I want to stay here forever, but there’s a part of me that still whispers ‘coward.’”
“Coward? You’re Solon Stormrider! You braved the winter seas. You put down a rebellion single-handedly. You resisted a goddess. How are you a coward?”
“Dorian needed me when he went into Khalidor. He’s probably dead because I didn’t go. Regnus is dead because I wouldn’t risk telling him who I was. If the prophecy is true, there’s a word I have to speak, a life I can save, and I can be remade.”
Kaede’s eyes were troubled. “Will it be enough? Will there not be ever one more thing you need to do to prove that voice wrong? Will you chase valor until it kills you?”
He kissed her forehead. “I’ve already done the hardest part: I’ve told you the truth. I won’t go unless you give me your blessing. My loyalty is all to you, Kaede.”
Her eyes filled with a weight of grief. “My love, I won’t give your death my blessing.”
Solon held her gaze for a long time, then he tossed the Heart of the Dragon aside. “Then I stay,” he said.
Kaede pivoted, sitting astride him. She put her hands on both sides of his face and looked deep into his eyes. “Please don’t ask again. Please.”
“I won’t.”
Her lovemaking was so fierce it left him breathless. She rode him to a silent climax, and even as her pupils flared and her breath caught and her fingers clawed into his shoulders, her eyes never left his. Then she clung to him, shaking, tears and sweat mingling on his chest, but she didn’t say a word.
82
I don’t know if I should have married you,” Jenine said. “I think I made a mistake.”
They were sitting together in the enormous Godking’s carriage, slowly rumbling toward Black Barrow. Despite the dangers of bringing her to a battle, Dorian hadn’t been able to leave her behind. Some plot might unfold in Khaliras that would take her from him. And if he had another episode, she was the only person he trusted to cover for him.
“But you love me,” he said. “I know you do.”
“I do,” she admitted. “I respect you and I enjoy your company and I think you’re brilliant and honorable. You’re a great man. . . .”
“But?” he asked woodenly.
It came out in a rush. “But it’s not like it was with Logan. I know it’s not fair to compare you to a man who’s dead—maybe I just remember all the good things about him now that he’s gone, and I know—maybe it isn’t fair to expect love to be the same every time. Maybe with Logan I fell in love the way a girl falls in love and a woman’s love grows slowly and protects itself. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like, Dorian, but sometimes I feel so empty. Maybe I should have waited.”
I’m a fraud. But what could he do? Tell her the truth? Send her back to Cenaria and her infatuation for some petty princeling she didn’t even know? Together they were changing a kingdom, bringing light to a dark land. What could Logan give her compared to that? Why should Logan’s love be more deserving than his?
Jenine’s love was growing. Dorian knew it. It would grow more still when she realized she was pregnant with their child, he knew it. He’d seen that in his moments of madness on the battlefield, and hadn’t trusted it or anything else he’d seen there, but in the days since then, he’d looked at her again, and he was sure it was true. Not twins, as he’d first foreseen, but a child, a son. Maybe the twins were to be their next children. He’d been waiting for the right time to tell her the news, but no time had seemed right.
He still spent as much of his days with her as he could. Their lovemaking was less frequent now that he was using his harem, but whatever jealousy she might feel seemed outweighed by the sudden reversal of the concubines’ feeling toward her. Dorian had given her the credit for preserving their lives. That generosity cracked their envy and hatred. Instead of defeated rivals, Jenine suddenly had sisters, and her isolation melted with the spring snow.
