Beyond the Veil
Page 70
Jen squeezed her eyes shut at the sound of pain in his voice. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed; she clung to him as if her life depended on him.
After several minutes of silence, he finally let her go. He tilted her face up to look at him and brushed a finger softly against her lips. She was beautiful and she was his, but she wouldnt let him in and it was killing him.
He dropped his hand and turned to help the others unload the van. He didnt see the pain that flashed in her eyes as he turned from her he didnt hear the catch in her breathing as she tried not to reach out and grab him to pour her soul out, to beg him for his forgiveness. Jen had been so focused on Decebel that she hadnt realized Cynthia was standing next to her.
Take a walk with me? Cynthia asked gently.
Jen stared at her a moment, then nodded.
Cynthia called out to Decebel. Alpha, we need to use the little girls' room. Jen and I are going together and privacy would be appreciated.
Decebel began to step toward them.
I can go with her.
Cynthia held up her hand. Its me who needs to pee and I dont really want you or any of our males going with me.
It was obvious that Decebel didnt like the idea of them going off in the dark by themselves, but it wasn't not like he could force them to pee with a male around.
Fine, be quick, he growled.
Jen rolled her eyes and let Cynthia turn her and lead her into the forest.
~
Cynthia walked until she felt like whispering would be safe from wolf hearing. She stepped back from Jen, giving her some space so she wouldnt feel pressured.
Jen, something is wrong. That much is clear, Cynthia stated matter of factly.
Jen nodded her agreement.
Have you talked with anyone about what it is? With Decebel?
No. Jens bottom lip trembled as she tried to hold back the tears that had been threatening to spill over all day.
Cynthia didnt go to her; she didnt offer comfort. She knew that Jen needed to get this off her chest and she would do that better if she wasnt being coddled.
Im a doctor. Even now, though I dont practice conventionally, Im still a doctor and my oaths still stand. Patient confidentiality, Jen. Ill take it to my grave.
Jens head snapped up and her eyes met Cynthias. Cynthia saw in Jen a desperation that she had never seen in the usually confident young woman.
Do you hear me? Are we on the same page?
Yes, Jen whispered. Were on the same page.
Jen found a fallen tree limb and sat down on it. Cynthia moved closer so that Jen wouldnt have to speak too loudly.
Without any preamble Jen juststarted talking.
When she finished, Cynthia closed her eyes, wishing all of this away.
The first thing that came out of Cynthia's mouth was, Youre pregnant. When she opened her eyes she saw that Jen had tears sliding down her cheeks.
I killed my baby, Decebels baby. I killed her. Jens breathing was getting sporatic and Cynthia knew if she didnt calm her down, Decebel would crash through the woods for her any moment.
Shh, Jen. Pull it together or your mans going to be tearing down trees to get to you.
Jen wiped her tears away as she tried to compose herself.
Why havent you told your mate? Cynthia asked.
Jen wrapped her arms around herself, another sign of how vulnerable she was feeling.
I cant stand the thought of seeing the disgust and anger in his eyes once he knows Ive killed our child. If only I had just died....it was my time.
Cynthia was shaking her head before Jen even finished speaking.
If you had died Decebel would have destroyed the world. He would have lost it and then taken his own life. This isnt your fault, Jen, its the damn Fates'. He will not hold you responsible nor will he be angry. He will be hurting for you, hurting because he is going to feel all of the guilt in you. Jen, you know Decebel, you know how he feels about you. You have to trust that he will love you through this, that you two can work through this together..
Jen looked at her hopefully. Do you think there is a way to keep the Fates from taking her?
I dont know, but I do know that Decebel would move mountains, destroy nations, call down the wrath of the gods to see you happy. Cynthia pulled Jen up from the limb.
Youre going to have to tell him. But I want you to take it easy and dont push yourself too hard, okay?
Jen nodded. She took a deep breath and let it out. She didnt feel great, but she felt better. She needed someone to know, needed someone to understand. And she knew Cynthia was right, she couldnt keep this from Decebel for much longer. She was hurting him and it wasn't fair.
They headed back to the group in silence. Once there, all of them followed Decebel into the forest, the moon their only guiding light.
They walked for an hour, just as Decebel had said, and then made camp. Costin and Drake got a fire going while, in wolf form, Sorin did a check of the perimeter. When he came back to the camp site he couldnt help but preen for Elle, who was watching him in awe.
Elle laughed at Sorins obvious pleasure in her watching him. She waved him off, telling him to go get dressed. He tilted his head in a charming manner and headed back into the forest to gather his clothes.
After several minutes of silence, he finally let her go. He tilted her face up to look at him and brushed a finger softly against her lips. She was beautiful and she was his, but she wouldnt let him in and it was killing him.
He dropped his hand and turned to help the others unload the van. He didnt see the pain that flashed in her eyes as he turned from her he didnt hear the catch in her breathing as she tried not to reach out and grab him to pour her soul out, to beg him for his forgiveness. Jen had been so focused on Decebel that she hadnt realized Cynthia was standing next to her.
Take a walk with me? Cynthia asked gently.
Jen stared at her a moment, then nodded.
Cynthia called out to Decebel. Alpha, we need to use the little girls' room. Jen and I are going together and privacy would be appreciated.
Decebel began to step toward them.
I can go with her.
Cynthia held up her hand. Its me who needs to pee and I dont really want you or any of our males going with me.
It was obvious that Decebel didnt like the idea of them going off in the dark by themselves, but it wasn't not like he could force them to pee with a male around.
Fine, be quick, he growled.
Jen rolled her eyes and let Cynthia turn her and lead her into the forest.
~
Cynthia walked until she felt like whispering would be safe from wolf hearing. She stepped back from Jen, giving her some space so she wouldnt feel pressured.
Jen, something is wrong. That much is clear, Cynthia stated matter of factly.
Jen nodded her agreement.
Have you talked with anyone about what it is? With Decebel?
No. Jens bottom lip trembled as she tried to hold back the tears that had been threatening to spill over all day.
Cynthia didnt go to her; she didnt offer comfort. She knew that Jen needed to get this off her chest and she would do that better if she wasnt being coddled.
Im a doctor. Even now, though I dont practice conventionally, Im still a doctor and my oaths still stand. Patient confidentiality, Jen. Ill take it to my grave.
Jens head snapped up and her eyes met Cynthias. Cynthia saw in Jen a desperation that she had never seen in the usually confident young woman.
Do you hear me? Are we on the same page?
Yes, Jen whispered. Were on the same page.
Jen found a fallen tree limb and sat down on it. Cynthia moved closer so that Jen wouldnt have to speak too loudly.
Without any preamble Jen juststarted talking.
When she finished, Cynthia closed her eyes, wishing all of this away.
The first thing that came out of Cynthia's mouth was, Youre pregnant. When she opened her eyes she saw that Jen had tears sliding down her cheeks.
I killed my baby, Decebels baby. I killed her. Jens breathing was getting sporatic and Cynthia knew if she didnt calm her down, Decebel would crash through the woods for her any moment.
Shh, Jen. Pull it together or your mans going to be tearing down trees to get to you.
Jen wiped her tears away as she tried to compose herself.
Why havent you told your mate? Cynthia asked.
Jen wrapped her arms around herself, another sign of how vulnerable she was feeling.
I cant stand the thought of seeing the disgust and anger in his eyes once he knows Ive killed our child. If only I had just died....it was my time.
Cynthia was shaking her head before Jen even finished speaking.
If you had died Decebel would have destroyed the world. He would have lost it and then taken his own life. This isnt your fault, Jen, its the damn Fates'. He will not hold you responsible nor will he be angry. He will be hurting for you, hurting because he is going to feel all of the guilt in you. Jen, you know Decebel, you know how he feels about you. You have to trust that he will love you through this, that you two can work through this together..
Jen looked at her hopefully. Do you think there is a way to keep the Fates from taking her?
I dont know, but I do know that Decebel would move mountains, destroy nations, call down the wrath of the gods to see you happy. Cynthia pulled Jen up from the limb.
Youre going to have to tell him. But I want you to take it easy and dont push yourself too hard, okay?
Jen nodded. She took a deep breath and let it out. She didnt feel great, but she felt better. She needed someone to know, needed someone to understand. And she knew Cynthia was right, she couldnt keep this from Decebel for much longer. She was hurting him and it wasn't fair.
They headed back to the group in silence. Once there, all of them followed Decebel into the forest, the moon their only guiding light.
They walked for an hour, just as Decebel had said, and then made camp. Costin and Drake got a fire going while, in wolf form, Sorin did a check of the perimeter. When he came back to the camp site he couldnt help but preen for Elle, who was watching him in awe.
Elle laughed at Sorins obvious pleasure in her watching him. She waved him off, telling him to go get dressed. He tilted his head in a charming manner and headed back into the forest to gather his clothes.
