Beyond the Veil
Page 73
Why should I need you? You dont need me. You are strong without me. You can take on anything, deal with anything, but Im weak. Thats what you think, that I cant handle it when it get rough. You think that we will all just curl up and die if you werent there to rescue us! Jens breathing was erratic and her heart was racing.
Cynthia stepped forward, keeping a wary eye on Decebel. Jen, you need to calm down.
Decebel snarled at her. Who are you to tell my mate what she needs?
Cynthia stepped back, ducking her head and exposing her neck in submission.
Decebels head snapped back to his mate. He was trying to control his wolf, but it was becoming more difficult the more she spouted this nonsense about not needing him and him not needing her.
Where is this all coming from, Jennifer? How can you say such things to me? TO ME? When you died my life was over. I NEED YOU and Im not ashamed to admit that. It doesnt make me weak to need you, it doesnt make me any less of a man. You make me stronger, you make me better. Why is it so horrible to need me? Decebel had taken several steps toward her, but she took the same amount away from him.
She watched his anger turn to pain as he looked at her.
Jens shoulders crumbled in defeat, all the fight gone. She was tired. She was scared.
If I need you, if I cant be without you, then I will die when you leave me I will cease to exist without you. I cant need you, I cant. If you are the air I breathe, if you are the rock I stand on, if you are what makes me whole, then Im going to be a shell, empty and dry once youre gone. Tears slid down her face.
Jennifer, I will never leave you, how can you say that to me?
You dont know. Once you do...you will hate me.
Decebel took another step toward her. This time she didnt move back.
Tell him, Jen. Trust him. Cynthia spoke softly, her eyes still on the ground and her neck exposed.
Decebels eyes widened. You told her before you told me, your mate, your husband?
Jen cringed at the hurt she saw in his face.
Im sorry, she sobbed. Im so sorry. I just dont think I will survive if I see the disgust in your eyes when you hear it. I cant lose you, Decebel I cant lose you because I need you.
Decebel moved quickly to her before she could back away and he knelt down. He placed both hands on either side of her face and held her stare.
Baby, there is nothing you could do that would ever cause you to lose me. I am yours good and bad, I am yours.
Jens eyes filled with more tears.
But this is so bad, Dec. Its so bad, she whispered through her sobs.
Decebel wiped her tears away with his thumbs and because he couldnt stand it any longer, he pulled her into his arms. He held her shaking body, pouring his warmth into her.
Im pregnant,Dec, she said so softly that even with his wolf hearing he had to strain to understand.
When he did, he froze. In response, her body tensed.
How could she think he would be mad over that? She was carrying his pup, his child. He felt his heart swell and tears formed in his eyes. He pulled her back to look at her but she fought him. She grabbed onto his shirt and held on tight.
Thats not all.
Tell me, baby. Trust me, please, he whispered back.
The Fates came to me in a dream.
Decebel got deathly still. The air seemed to grow charged with his power.
The night you had the nightmare? he asked her cautiously.
He felt her nod her head against him.
What happened, Jennifer? He tried to keep his voice gentle so she wouldnt get scared, but it was so hard to keep his wolf down.
They said I have to pay the debt I owe them because I didnt die when it was my time.
And what is the payment? Decebel closed his eyes as he asked, already knowing the answer.
Our daughter's life.
She pulled back and looked into his face. Her face was swollen and tear-stained. They said that when she is born they will take her from me. From us. After a pause, she added, In nine months, Dec. Nine months. Her lower lip trembled. I killed our baby.
Anger filled her up. My choice to come back from the dead is going to kill our child. She slammed her hand against her chest. MY CHOICE! How selfish was that? How can you not be angry with me? How can you even want me in your sight?
Decebels eyes were glowing and hearing his mate spill such nonsense was causing his wolf to surface. His wolf didnt like to see their mate so broken and he sure as hell wouldnt tolerate Decebel being the cause of that pain. He closed his eyes, trying to help his wolf understand that he wasnt upset with their mate.
Jennifer, look at me.
Jen ignored him and continued to stare at her fidgeting hands.
He took his finger and gently lifted her face until he was able to look into her amazing blue eyes they still took his breath away.
It would have been my choice as well.
Confusion flashed across Jens face. What choice?
For you to come back to me. I would have chosen that you not die at 18 years old after completing the bond with your mate. If I had known that you were able to make that choice and you chose death instead of life, instead of me then, my beautiful love, then I would be mad at you. This, he laid his hand gently on her stomach, where their child grew, is out of your control. Its not your fault. And we are not going to lose our child. Jennifer, I love you, with every fiber of my being, every cell in my body, I love you. Please believe me when I tell you I do not blame you for our circumstances. Tell me you believe me.
Cynthia stepped forward, keeping a wary eye on Decebel. Jen, you need to calm down.
Decebel snarled at her. Who are you to tell my mate what she needs?
Cynthia stepped back, ducking her head and exposing her neck in submission.
Decebels head snapped back to his mate. He was trying to control his wolf, but it was becoming more difficult the more she spouted this nonsense about not needing him and him not needing her.
Where is this all coming from, Jennifer? How can you say such things to me? TO ME? When you died my life was over. I NEED YOU and Im not ashamed to admit that. It doesnt make me weak to need you, it doesnt make me any less of a man. You make me stronger, you make me better. Why is it so horrible to need me? Decebel had taken several steps toward her, but she took the same amount away from him.
She watched his anger turn to pain as he looked at her.
Jens shoulders crumbled in defeat, all the fight gone. She was tired. She was scared.
If I need you, if I cant be without you, then I will die when you leave me I will cease to exist without you. I cant need you, I cant. If you are the air I breathe, if you are the rock I stand on, if you are what makes me whole, then Im going to be a shell, empty and dry once youre gone. Tears slid down her face.
Jennifer, I will never leave you, how can you say that to me?
You dont know. Once you do...you will hate me.
Decebel took another step toward her. This time she didnt move back.
Tell him, Jen. Trust him. Cynthia spoke softly, her eyes still on the ground and her neck exposed.
Decebels eyes widened. You told her before you told me, your mate, your husband?
Jen cringed at the hurt she saw in his face.
Im sorry, she sobbed. Im so sorry. I just dont think I will survive if I see the disgust in your eyes when you hear it. I cant lose you, Decebel I cant lose you because I need you.
Decebel moved quickly to her before she could back away and he knelt down. He placed both hands on either side of her face and held her stare.
Baby, there is nothing you could do that would ever cause you to lose me. I am yours good and bad, I am yours.
Jens eyes filled with more tears.
But this is so bad, Dec. Its so bad, she whispered through her sobs.
Decebel wiped her tears away with his thumbs and because he couldnt stand it any longer, he pulled her into his arms. He held her shaking body, pouring his warmth into her.
Im pregnant,Dec, she said so softly that even with his wolf hearing he had to strain to understand.
When he did, he froze. In response, her body tensed.
How could she think he would be mad over that? She was carrying his pup, his child. He felt his heart swell and tears formed in his eyes. He pulled her back to look at her but she fought him. She grabbed onto his shirt and held on tight.
Thats not all.
Tell me, baby. Trust me, please, he whispered back.
The Fates came to me in a dream.
Decebel got deathly still. The air seemed to grow charged with his power.
The night you had the nightmare? he asked her cautiously.
He felt her nod her head against him.
What happened, Jennifer? He tried to keep his voice gentle so she wouldnt get scared, but it was so hard to keep his wolf down.
They said I have to pay the debt I owe them because I didnt die when it was my time.
And what is the payment? Decebel closed his eyes as he asked, already knowing the answer.
Our daughter's life.
She pulled back and looked into his face. Her face was swollen and tear-stained. They said that when she is born they will take her from me. From us. After a pause, she added, In nine months, Dec. Nine months. Her lower lip trembled. I killed our baby.
Anger filled her up. My choice to come back from the dead is going to kill our child. She slammed her hand against her chest. MY CHOICE! How selfish was that? How can you not be angry with me? How can you even want me in your sight?
Decebels eyes were glowing and hearing his mate spill such nonsense was causing his wolf to surface. His wolf didnt like to see their mate so broken and he sure as hell wouldnt tolerate Decebel being the cause of that pain. He closed his eyes, trying to help his wolf understand that he wasnt upset with their mate.
Jennifer, look at me.
Jen ignored him and continued to stare at her fidgeting hands.
He took his finger and gently lifted her face until he was able to look into her amazing blue eyes they still took his breath away.
It would have been my choice as well.
Confusion flashed across Jens face. What choice?
For you to come back to me. I would have chosen that you not die at 18 years old after completing the bond with your mate. If I had known that you were able to make that choice and you chose death instead of life, instead of me then, my beautiful love, then I would be mad at you. This, he laid his hand gently on her stomach, where their child grew, is out of your control. Its not your fault. And we are not going to lose our child. Jennifer, I love you, with every fiber of my being, every cell in my body, I love you. Please believe me when I tell you I do not blame you for our circumstances. Tell me you believe me.
