Bikers and Tinsel
Page 18
“I’m sorry,” I squeak again.
He doesn’t hear me. He’s panting now, gripping the bench, his head lowered.
“I’m sorry Muff,” I yell. Hearing me, he lifts his head, meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t think it was as bad as it is. Maybe that makes me naïve, but I thought I was doing everything I needed to do. I was organizing the money and...”
“Where were you going to get that kind of money?” he barks.
I shake my head, feeling my eyes burn with unshed tears. I have no idea where I was going to get that money, but goddammit, I would have found a way. “I don’t...I would have found it, and...”
“You would have found it?” he growls stepping around the counter and walking over. He stops in front of me and leans down, glaring at me. “You would have found it? How the fuck do you find over twenty grand, Janine? I thought you were smarter than that. You’ve been running with bikers for how long? And you thought you could just find it? Jesus, these men...they’re not going to wait for you to find something that’s not there. You should know better!”
“I know, okay?” I scream, shoving at his chest. “But what did you want me to do? Honestly, Muff! Ask you boys for money? Take it from my poor mother? What? What did you want me to fucking do?”
He steps back, shaking his head. “You come to me, Jay, that’s what you do. You come to me, and you tell me you’re in trouble, and I fucking sort it out.”
“Why?” I scream. “Why should you sort it out? You’re not even my boyfriend!”
His face drops, and his eyes fill with hurt. “Fuck, why don’t you just kick me in the fuckin’ balls while you’re at it?”
“Well, it’s the truth,” I whisper, feeling a tear slide down my cheek.
He’s panting with rage. “And why do you fuckin’ think that is?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s because you’ve been holdin’ back. You’ve been keeping me at arm’s length, not letting me get too close. This is the perfect example of that, and yet here you are, complaining that I haven’t fuckin’ claimed you as my girlfriend. Fuck, Jay, maybe you should take a look at yourself.”
“I’m scared,” I cry. “Scared of getting tangled up in this world again. And this,” I wave my hands around, “is why.”
“Then why the fuck did you let me in? Why the fuck did you waste my time, if you were only goin’ to tell me it’s something you don’t wanna do? Fuckin’ hell - this is why I don’t do relationships. Why, Jaybird? Tell me why you fuckin’ went there...”
“Because...because...you were different,” I rasp.
“That’s not enough,” he bellows, clenching his fists.
“Because I fucking fell in love with you,” I wail. “You fucking asshole.”
He steps back, like I’ve slapped him. “What did you say?”
“You heard me! I love you Muff, I fucking love you more than I’ve ever loved someone in my entire life, and it scares me. It scares the living shit out of me because you...you could crush me like a fly if you decided you didn’t want this. I’ve been holding back because I’m trying to protect my heart. I don’t want to be hurt again, and I know you’re nothing like him, but it doesn’t make it any less scary. I want something for my daughter, for me...I need something in return. I can’t be the one giving all the time.”
We both stand there for a long moment, him just staring at me, his blue eyes searching my face. Then suddenly he steps forward, gripping my face and pulling me up against him. I whimper as my chest hit his. “You’re a fool, girl,” he breathes. “I fucking love you too, and I have no intention of letting you go. If you fuckin’ let me in for five fuckin’ minutes you’d know that. I’ve got everything to give you in return, if you just stop pushin’ me away.”
Oh, God.
“I don’t wanna push you away anymore,” I whisper. “I want you, Muff.”
“Then baby,” he growls, leaning closer, “take me.”
He crushes his lips down over mine, and my knees buckle. I hook my arms around his waist and clutch the back of his shirt, bringing his body closer until it’s flush against mine. A throaty growl leaves his throat and he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. His fingers slide down to my backside, and he grips it, pressing me forward. He begins to move his hips, sliding his cock up and down my slit, teasing me, using the friction of our clothes to send little bolts of pleasure through my body.
Oh, yes.
I claw at his shirt, wanting it gone. He steps back, panting, and grips it, tossing it off. He takes hold of his jeans, yanking them down until that beautiful cock springs free. “Suck me, baby. I need your lips on me.”
Mewling, I slowly lower myself to my knees, looking up at him through my lashes. His jaw is tight, his eyes are blazing, and his hand wraps around his cock. He slowly strokes it up and down, squeezing every now and then. I shuffle forward, licking my lips as I reach out, shoving his hand away so I can wrap my fingers around the hard, throbbing length. I groan and lower my mouth, desperate to taste him. I snake my tongue out, and lick the salty pre-come off the tip of his cock. He hisses, and tangles his hand into my hair.
“Baby, God, so fuckin’ good.”
I part my lips and gently lower my mouth over the head of his cock, taking him deep into my throat. His skin is silky smooth, and has the distinct taste of man. I tuck my bottom lip over my teeth and press against the bottom of his cock. He groans and his thighs tighten. “Fuck, fuck,” he rasps.
He doesn’t hear me. He’s panting now, gripping the bench, his head lowered.
“I’m sorry Muff,” I yell. Hearing me, he lifts his head, meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t think it was as bad as it is. Maybe that makes me naïve, but I thought I was doing everything I needed to do. I was organizing the money and...”
“Where were you going to get that kind of money?” he barks.
I shake my head, feeling my eyes burn with unshed tears. I have no idea where I was going to get that money, but goddammit, I would have found a way. “I don’t...I would have found it, and...”
“You would have found it?” he growls stepping around the counter and walking over. He stops in front of me and leans down, glaring at me. “You would have found it? How the fuck do you find over twenty grand, Janine? I thought you were smarter than that. You’ve been running with bikers for how long? And you thought you could just find it? Jesus, these men...they’re not going to wait for you to find something that’s not there. You should know better!”
“I know, okay?” I scream, shoving at his chest. “But what did you want me to do? Honestly, Muff! Ask you boys for money? Take it from my poor mother? What? What did you want me to fucking do?”
He steps back, shaking his head. “You come to me, Jay, that’s what you do. You come to me, and you tell me you’re in trouble, and I fucking sort it out.”
“Why?” I scream. “Why should you sort it out? You’re not even my boyfriend!”
His face drops, and his eyes fill with hurt. “Fuck, why don’t you just kick me in the fuckin’ balls while you’re at it?”
“Well, it’s the truth,” I whisper, feeling a tear slide down my cheek.
He’s panting with rage. “And why do you fuckin’ think that is?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s because you’ve been holdin’ back. You’ve been keeping me at arm’s length, not letting me get too close. This is the perfect example of that, and yet here you are, complaining that I haven’t fuckin’ claimed you as my girlfriend. Fuck, Jay, maybe you should take a look at yourself.”
“I’m scared,” I cry. “Scared of getting tangled up in this world again. And this,” I wave my hands around, “is why.”
“Then why the fuck did you let me in? Why the fuck did you waste my time, if you were only goin’ to tell me it’s something you don’t wanna do? Fuckin’ hell - this is why I don’t do relationships. Why, Jaybird? Tell me why you fuckin’ went there...”
“Because...because...you were different,” I rasp.
“That’s not enough,” he bellows, clenching his fists.
“Because I fucking fell in love with you,” I wail. “You fucking asshole.”
He steps back, like I’ve slapped him. “What did you say?”
“You heard me! I love you Muff, I fucking love you more than I’ve ever loved someone in my entire life, and it scares me. It scares the living shit out of me because you...you could crush me like a fly if you decided you didn’t want this. I’ve been holding back because I’m trying to protect my heart. I don’t want to be hurt again, and I know you’re nothing like him, but it doesn’t make it any less scary. I want something for my daughter, for me...I need something in return. I can’t be the one giving all the time.”
We both stand there for a long moment, him just staring at me, his blue eyes searching my face. Then suddenly he steps forward, gripping my face and pulling me up against him. I whimper as my chest hit his. “You’re a fool, girl,” he breathes. “I fucking love you too, and I have no intention of letting you go. If you fuckin’ let me in for five fuckin’ minutes you’d know that. I’ve got everything to give you in return, if you just stop pushin’ me away.”
Oh, God.
“I don’t wanna push you away anymore,” I whisper. “I want you, Muff.”
“Then baby,” he growls, leaning closer, “take me.”
He crushes his lips down over mine, and my knees buckle. I hook my arms around his waist and clutch the back of his shirt, bringing his body closer until it’s flush against mine. A throaty growl leaves his throat and he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. His fingers slide down to my backside, and he grips it, pressing me forward. He begins to move his hips, sliding his cock up and down my slit, teasing me, using the friction of our clothes to send little bolts of pleasure through my body.
Oh, yes.
I claw at his shirt, wanting it gone. He steps back, panting, and grips it, tossing it off. He takes hold of his jeans, yanking them down until that beautiful cock springs free. “Suck me, baby. I need your lips on me.”
Mewling, I slowly lower myself to my knees, looking up at him through my lashes. His jaw is tight, his eyes are blazing, and his hand wraps around his cock. He slowly strokes it up and down, squeezing every now and then. I shuffle forward, licking my lips as I reach out, shoving his hand away so I can wrap my fingers around the hard, throbbing length. I groan and lower my mouth, desperate to taste him. I snake my tongue out, and lick the salty pre-come off the tip of his cock. He hisses, and tangles his hand into my hair.
“Baby, God, so fuckin’ good.”
I part my lips and gently lower my mouth over the head of his cock, taking him deep into my throat. His skin is silky smooth, and has the distinct taste of man. I tuck my bottom lip over my teeth and press against the bottom of his cock. He groans and his thighs tighten. “Fuck, fuck,” he rasps.
