Bite Me
Page 35
Livy leaned away from those giant sausage fingers and hissed, flashing her fangs as extra warning. A warning that made the bear giggle. He giggled. Like an eight-year-old. She is just the cutest thing! I just wanna hug her! Hug her! Hug her! Hug her!
Livy looked at Vic. Can we go home now?
No. You need to relax. Plus . . . honey!
I can get honey at your house.
And I can get more holes in my house. No thanks. Vic asked the deputy, Can we go in, Mike?
Sure. And dont forget the festivals happening this whole weekend. It already started. Deputy Mike waved at Livy. Bye, cutie!
One of the other deputies hauled a heavy-looking, solid concrete block out of the wayby herselfand Vic drove on. Heading down the road to . . . somewhere.
Livy, confused, asked, What the hell was that about?
What was what about?
Most shifters dont try to coochie-coo me.
This is a bear-only town. Theyre not used to outside shifters. And few of them have seen honey badgers.
So?
So . . . he thought you were cute.
When someone says Im cute, they usually mean Im cute as a woman. He acted like I was as cute as a stuffed toy. I think he wanted to cuddle me, she said with disgust.
Vic shrugged. You know, I can actually see that.
Shut up.
Vic pulled into town and parked in one of the many empty spots along the tree-lined street.
He shut off the motor and gestured to the town outside the vehicle. Welcome to Honeyville.
Livys eyes rolled so far back in her head, Vic was worried shed go permanently blind.
I know. Pretty obvious for a bear-only town, but dont worry, he promised. The town lives up to its name. They sell an array of honeys here. Foreign and domestic. And their home brand is
Please stop talking.
Vic did, because when Livy was polite like that . . . it was because she was about to start hurting people.
He got out of the SUV and looked around. Hed always liked this town, since the first time his parents had taken him and his sister here for vacation. Considering their mother was feline and Vic and Ira were hybrids, the bears had always been surprisingly welcoming to the family. Unlike the cat territory in the next town over.
But he had no intention of going over there. If the cats didnt want him there, then they certainly didnt want his money. Besides . . . the bears had honey.
Vic walked around his SUV, caught hold of Livys hand, and started walking, pulling the woman behind him.
Where are we going? she asked.
He didnt bother toanswer. Instead, he led her to his favorite store and walked inside. The woman behind the counter looked up at him and immediately smiled.
Holy shit! Vic Barinov! she exclaimed. Rita Thompson, a sixty-year-old hippie grizzly who smoked pot at least three times a day, threw her arms open. Get the hell over here! She grasped Vic in an actual bear hug, the six-ten She-bear gripping him tight. What the hell are you doing here?
My friend here needed a break and I couldnt think of a better place to go.
Rita looked around, then leaned over her counter and down at Livy. Oh! There you are!
Im not that small.
Youre like a hobbit! Rita leaned over a little more. Do you have hairy feet, too?
Rita and Vic laughed, but Vic stopped when Livy glared at him.
Not relaxing! Livy snarled.
Sorry. He turned to Rita. Were actually here for some of your delicious
What are you? Rita asked Livy, cutting Vic off. Youre clearly not a fox. She walked around the counter and sniffed, frowned. Sniffed again. Frowned again. Then Rita leaned down and took a big sniff of the top of Livys head. Sharp, pointy, multiple fangs replaced Livys human teeth, but instead of attacking, she said, Lady, if you dont get the fuck away from me, Im unleashing everything Ive got packed in my anal scent glands until youre blind from the stench. Rita jerked away from Livy and Livy finished with, And trust me when I say that no one will come into your store for days.
A honey badger, Rita snapped, facing Vic. You brought a honey badger into our town?
Shes my friend and under my protection, and she promises not to attack anyone. Right, Livy?
No.
What are you talking about? Rita demanded. I dont give a fat shit if she attacks anybody. Theyre bears! Rita clapped her hands, pressed her forefingers together, and pointed them at Vic. But she cannot raid our hives.
Of course she wont raid your hives. Right, Livy?
No.
Vic bared a fang at Livy, and after she rolled her eyes, she said, Fine. I wont raid your hives.
See, Rita? Nothing to worry about. I promise, were here to buy. A lot. Im trying to cheer up my friend.
Good luck with that, Rita muttered before facing them. She put on her best fake smile and made a wide gesture with her arms. Please. Look. We have honey from all over the world, but dont forget our local wares. And feel free to try anything we offer.
Livy looked at Vic. Can we go home now?
No. You need to relax. Plus . . . honey!
I can get honey at your house.
And I can get more holes in my house. No thanks. Vic asked the deputy, Can we go in, Mike?
Sure. And dont forget the festivals happening this whole weekend. It already started. Deputy Mike waved at Livy. Bye, cutie!
One of the other deputies hauled a heavy-looking, solid concrete block out of the wayby herselfand Vic drove on. Heading down the road to . . . somewhere.
Livy, confused, asked, What the hell was that about?
What was what about?
Most shifters dont try to coochie-coo me.
This is a bear-only town. Theyre not used to outside shifters. And few of them have seen honey badgers.
So?
So . . . he thought you were cute.
When someone says Im cute, they usually mean Im cute as a woman. He acted like I was as cute as a stuffed toy. I think he wanted to cuddle me, she said with disgust.
Vic shrugged. You know, I can actually see that.
Shut up.
Vic pulled into town and parked in one of the many empty spots along the tree-lined street.
He shut off the motor and gestured to the town outside the vehicle. Welcome to Honeyville.
Livys eyes rolled so far back in her head, Vic was worried shed go permanently blind.
I know. Pretty obvious for a bear-only town, but dont worry, he promised. The town lives up to its name. They sell an array of honeys here. Foreign and domestic. And their home brand is
Please stop talking.
Vic did, because when Livy was polite like that . . . it was because she was about to start hurting people.
He got out of the SUV and looked around. Hed always liked this town, since the first time his parents had taken him and his sister here for vacation. Considering their mother was feline and Vic and Ira were hybrids, the bears had always been surprisingly welcoming to the family. Unlike the cat territory in the next town over.
But he had no intention of going over there. If the cats didnt want him there, then they certainly didnt want his money. Besides . . . the bears had honey.
Vic walked around his SUV, caught hold of Livys hand, and started walking, pulling the woman behind him.
Where are we going? she asked.
He didnt bother toanswer. Instead, he led her to his favorite store and walked inside. The woman behind the counter looked up at him and immediately smiled.
Holy shit! Vic Barinov! she exclaimed. Rita Thompson, a sixty-year-old hippie grizzly who smoked pot at least three times a day, threw her arms open. Get the hell over here! She grasped Vic in an actual bear hug, the six-ten She-bear gripping him tight. What the hell are you doing here?
My friend here needed a break and I couldnt think of a better place to go.
Rita looked around, then leaned over her counter and down at Livy. Oh! There you are!
Im not that small.
Youre like a hobbit! Rita leaned over a little more. Do you have hairy feet, too?
Rita and Vic laughed, but Vic stopped when Livy glared at him.
Not relaxing! Livy snarled.
Sorry. He turned to Rita. Were actually here for some of your delicious
What are you? Rita asked Livy, cutting Vic off. Youre clearly not a fox. She walked around the counter and sniffed, frowned. Sniffed again. Frowned again. Then Rita leaned down and took a big sniff of the top of Livys head. Sharp, pointy, multiple fangs replaced Livys human teeth, but instead of attacking, she said, Lady, if you dont get the fuck away from me, Im unleashing everything Ive got packed in my anal scent glands until youre blind from the stench. Rita jerked away from Livy and Livy finished with, And trust me when I say that no one will come into your store for days.
A honey badger, Rita snapped, facing Vic. You brought a honey badger into our town?
Shes my friend and under my protection, and she promises not to attack anyone. Right, Livy?
No.
What are you talking about? Rita demanded. I dont give a fat shit if she attacks anybody. Theyre bears! Rita clapped her hands, pressed her forefingers together, and pointed them at Vic. But she cannot raid our hives.
Of course she wont raid your hives. Right, Livy?
No.
Vic bared a fang at Livy, and after she rolled her eyes, she said, Fine. I wont raid your hives.
See, Rita? Nothing to worry about. I promise, were here to buy. A lot. Im trying to cheer up my friend.
Good luck with that, Rita muttered before facing them. She put on her best fake smile and made a wide gesture with her arms. Please. Look. We have honey from all over the world, but dont forget our local wares. And feel free to try anything we offer.
