Black Heart

Page 68

It was supposed to be quick. One pull and everything should have been over, but ten minutes of bitching later and he was still standing here waiting for someone to grow the balls to do it. When Finn shot a nervous look over to Liam, Tristan knew that this whole thing was about to take a lot longer than any of them had expected.
“Just do it,” Tristan bit out through clenched teeth as he reached up with his good hand and placed it over the one Finn still had pressed against his chest.
“I’m trying!” But they both knew that he wasn’t going to do it. He had that same expression on his face that every man before him had just before they’d stepped back, made up some bullshit excuse and told someone else to do it. Now the only problem was that there was no one else left to do it.
“Try harder,” he ground out, willing Finn to do it and end his suffering.
The pain from knowing that he would never see Marty again was surprisingly more brutal than his f**ked up shoulder and that had him seeing black spots and struggling not to give into his shaky legs and drop to the ground. He knew that if he gave into the pain that they’d use it as an excuse not to do this and he desperately needed them to do this.
He couldn’t stomach the idea of Marty or their baby suffering. He didn’t want to keep putting her through this hell and he didn’t want her life shortened because of him. He wanted her to go on and enjoy her life, raise their son and if she had to come back again, he wanted her to have a chance at being happy, growing old and-
“This ends now,” Marty said, shoving Finn’s hand away as she smoothly stepped in front of him. Looking relieved, Finn quickly retreated away.
“Go back upstairs,” he ordered, looking anywhere but at her, knowing that one look at her would probably break him and have him doing anything to stay with her even if it was only for one more night.
“No,” she said simply as she placed her hand on his good shoulder and shoved, taking him off guard and knocking him on his ass.
Not that it would take much right now to kick his ass, he thought as he fought against another wave of dizziness. As soon as his ass hit the chair, Marty was climbing on his lap, looking pissed and determined.
“Get off,” he said, his voice sounding hollow as he struggled to stay with it.
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” she said dryly as she settled more comfortably on his lap.
“Maybe we should leave the room and give these two some privacy,” Shayne, the f**king coward, said, already making a quick retreat for the door.
He’d been the first one to back out of doing what needed to be done, sprouting some bullshit about not being able to do it, because it would damage his video game playing hand. It hadn’t exactly surprised him that after all these years of protecting him that Shayne wouldn’t be able to do anything that would hurt him, but the others didn’t have that excuse.
They’d come here specifically to take him out of the game and should have been able to do it without any problems. When Shayne wimped out on him, he’d expected Liam, who’d stepped up next, to get the job done. After five of the longest minutes of his life, Liam backed up, shot him a glare and flipped him off when Tristan called him a f**king pu**y, and gestured for Declean to take a shot at it.
“Put her back in her room and let’s finish this,” Tristan demanded, needing her out of the room before he lost his nerve to do this.
“I’m not going back to the room until you and I have a talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said absently as he shifted to move her off his lap and do whatever it took to finish this when Shayne said, “We’ll be back in a few, lad. We need to discuss strategy and all that.”
Before he could argue they disappeared, prolonging something that was becoming harder and harder to do with every passing second. Why did she have to make this so damn difficult? He was doing this for her and their baby.
Right now it was hard to accept, but one day, hopefully, soon she would understand the gift that he was giving her. He’d do anything to see her belly swell with their child, to hold him and to be by her side as they watched their son grow up, but that wasn’t in the cards for them. This curse explained so much and made him wish that he’d listened to his fears and stayed away from her. Then again if he had, their child wouldn’t be getting this chance to escape.
He knew what it was like to be alone and defenseless. Just thinking about their child suffering like that was enough to make him sick to his stomach. No child should suffer and he was going to make damn sure that his child’s suffering ended now.
Letting them end his life was taking a huge risk, but right now that’s all he had. His only hope was that he wouldn’t have to wait very long before he had access to all the memories from his prior lives. That was one of the main reasons that he was doing this. They needed that information.
He knew that Marty was pissed with his plan and wanted to figure this out together, but if they had any real chance, this was it. It would hurt like hell to walk away from her, but he had no choice. As soon as he had all of his memories back, he was going to go through each one and try to find something that would help save his wife and child. It was the only way.
“You’re not doing this, Tristan.”
“It’s the only way,” he said tightly, refusing to look at her or touch her, knowing that it wouldn’t take much for him to lose his nerve.
“No, it’s not,” Marty stubbornly said and he knew that there was nothing that he could say to convince her otherwise, so he didn’t bother.
“I’ve made my decision.”
“And I’ve made mine,” she said as she cupped his face in her soft warm hands and moved to pull his gaze to hers, but he wouldn’t allow it. Not when he was so goddamn close to breaking.
“This is the only way to save you and the baby, Marty. It’s not a choice that I’m making lightly, but it is my choice,” he said evenly as he reached up with his good hand and gently removed her hands from his jaw, careful not to look at her.
“Uh huh, I tell you what, Tristan. Look me in the eye and tell me that this plan is our only hope and I’ll let you go, no questions asked.”
Without looking at her, he said, “When they remove me, I’ll get my memories back and hopefully some answers so that I can save you and the baby.”
“How very noble of you, Tristan,” she murmured. “Now why don’t you try looking at me when you say that?”
She knew him too damn well, he thought with a sigh as he closed his eyes and let his head drop back. “Marty,-“
“We need you, Tristan,” she said softly.
“I’m doing this for you,” he said, hating how his voice broke and wishing that Shayne and the rest of the cowards would get back in here and finish this. Honestly, he didn’t think that he could take much more.
“How can you be sure that this is the right thing for us?” she asked, cupping his face in her hands. Before he could push her hands away she was leaning over him and brushing her lips against his.
“For all you know, Tristan, taking yourself out of the game will trigger the curse and me and the baby will suffer,” she said, hitting on something that he’d forced himself not to think about, but now that she’d said it, that’s all he could think about.