Black Spring
Page 12
So instead of dismissing Nathaniel’s concern, I turned around and met his eyes. “I know.”
“Why are we doing this?” Nathaniel asked. “Why must you put yourself in harm’s way?”
“Do you think I could live with myself if I allowed my baby to grow up in a cage?” I said. “Or anyone else’s child, for that matter.”
“They cannot put us in pens,” Nathaniel said. “No one will voluntarily come forward.”
“I’m sure there will be motivation for normal people to turn us in,” I said. “Alerian isn’t stupid. This is just the first shot across the bow. Once the idea of a supernatural holding area sinks in, they’ll announce that there will be benefits for creatures who turn themselves in, and rewards for anyone who helps identify a creature living in secret.”
“Even if they capture us, they cannot hold us,” Nathaniel said. “What human could keep you or I in a cage? Our magic is beyond their comprehension. Even an angry werewolf or faerie could massacre dozens of humans in a moment if the authorities tried to take them away unwillingly.”
“Maybe that’s what Alerian is counting on,” I said slowly. “The more evidence of our dangerous natures, the better. Any kind of slaughter would only add fuel to his argument.”
Nathaniel ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Then we can leave. You do not need to live in this city. Why not another, far from Alerian and his designs?”
“If he succeeds here, then he’ll succeed elsewhere,” I said. “And it will only be a matter of time before someone catches us.”
“You could go to Lord Lucifer,” Nathaniel said. “He would protect you and the child.”
I stared at him. “Kind of like leaving the wolves’ den for the lions’. You know I don’t want Lucifer’s protection. I’ve fought against it from the start.”
He crossed the room to me, put his hands on my arms. “How can I protect you when you refuse to see reason? Alerian is laying a trap for you and you are walking into the noose.”
“It’s not just about me,” I said. “There are others who will suffer if Alerian succeeds.”
“Do not go,” Nathaniel said, and his face was white and scared. “Do not sacrifice yourself needlessly just so you can go to him again.”
I looked at him uncomprehendingly for a moment, and then I realized what he was saying.
“You think I’m trying to kill myself,” I said slowly. “So that I can be with Gabriel.”
“Are you not? Why else would an expectant mother put herself in harm’s way over and over again if not to be reunited with the father of her child?” Nathaniel said, and it was like something taut had suddenly snapped inside him. “I know I mean less than nothing to you. I know that I will never be Gabriel. I know that you cannot love me as you loved him.”
“Nathaniel, I—”
“Stay with me,” he said, and he pulled me into his embrace, enfolding me in his wings like he could keep me there in his cocoon forever. “I do not know what I am without you. It is only you who keeps me sane, who keeps me human. If I did not love you, I would be a monster.”
I pulled back a little, shocked, and looked at his face. The skin was drawn tight over his bones, and his eyes burned with fear and anger and love.
“You aren’t a monster,” I said.
“But I could be,” he said. “I can feel it inside me, the shadow that creeps and cloaks. If I had nothing to tether me to this world, that shadow would run free, would destroy everything in its path.”
“I’ve felt that shadow, too,” I said. “This is our legacy from Lucifer and Puck, the darkness that pulses in our blood. But I won’t let it take over, and I won’t let it take you, either.”
He looked at me uncertainly. “You will stay?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m not trying to get back to Gabriel. I want to live. I want to live with you.”
It wasn’t the same as telling him I loved him back. I knew that, and he did, too. But relief washed over his face. Our bond, forged in magic, had been strengthened. I had chosen Nathaniel over death.
I kissed him gently, his face in my hands, then rested my head on his shoulder. “Maybe someday Lucifer and all of his brothers will just go away and we’ll be able to live a normal life.”
“Yes, a normal life with wings and the power to destroy worlds,” Nathaniel said. “I do not think the American white picket fence is part of our future.”
“Probably not,” I said, and smiled. “But I make great apple pie. Ask Beezle.”
“I try not to speak to the gargoyle unless absolutely necessary. For some reason I find I become quite enraged when I do,” Nathaniel said, taking my hand and leading me from the room.
I grabbed Lucifer’s sword and swung it over my shoulder. Alerian probably wouldn’t try to hurt me. Probably. But it was hard for me to leave the house without it. That sword had saved me more times than I could count. And even if Alerian meant me no harm, that didn’t mean some other freaky thing wouldn’t pop out of the woodwork. That seemed to happen to me a lot.
“I think Beezle’s cultivating that effect on you,” I said. “He could be less annoying if he wanted to be.”
“And I could rise to the bait less often, hmm?” he said as we went down the front stairs.
“Why are we doing this?” Nathaniel asked. “Why must you put yourself in harm’s way?”
“Do you think I could live with myself if I allowed my baby to grow up in a cage?” I said. “Or anyone else’s child, for that matter.”
“They cannot put us in pens,” Nathaniel said. “No one will voluntarily come forward.”
“I’m sure there will be motivation for normal people to turn us in,” I said. “Alerian isn’t stupid. This is just the first shot across the bow. Once the idea of a supernatural holding area sinks in, they’ll announce that there will be benefits for creatures who turn themselves in, and rewards for anyone who helps identify a creature living in secret.”
“Even if they capture us, they cannot hold us,” Nathaniel said. “What human could keep you or I in a cage? Our magic is beyond their comprehension. Even an angry werewolf or faerie could massacre dozens of humans in a moment if the authorities tried to take them away unwillingly.”
“Maybe that’s what Alerian is counting on,” I said slowly. “The more evidence of our dangerous natures, the better. Any kind of slaughter would only add fuel to his argument.”
Nathaniel ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Then we can leave. You do not need to live in this city. Why not another, far from Alerian and his designs?”
“If he succeeds here, then he’ll succeed elsewhere,” I said. “And it will only be a matter of time before someone catches us.”
“You could go to Lord Lucifer,” Nathaniel said. “He would protect you and the child.”
I stared at him. “Kind of like leaving the wolves’ den for the lions’. You know I don’t want Lucifer’s protection. I’ve fought against it from the start.”
He crossed the room to me, put his hands on my arms. “How can I protect you when you refuse to see reason? Alerian is laying a trap for you and you are walking into the noose.”
“It’s not just about me,” I said. “There are others who will suffer if Alerian succeeds.”
“Do not go,” Nathaniel said, and his face was white and scared. “Do not sacrifice yourself needlessly just so you can go to him again.”
I looked at him uncomprehendingly for a moment, and then I realized what he was saying.
“You think I’m trying to kill myself,” I said slowly. “So that I can be with Gabriel.”
“Are you not? Why else would an expectant mother put herself in harm’s way over and over again if not to be reunited with the father of her child?” Nathaniel said, and it was like something taut had suddenly snapped inside him. “I know I mean less than nothing to you. I know that I will never be Gabriel. I know that you cannot love me as you loved him.”
“Nathaniel, I—”
“Stay with me,” he said, and he pulled me into his embrace, enfolding me in his wings like he could keep me there in his cocoon forever. “I do not know what I am without you. It is only you who keeps me sane, who keeps me human. If I did not love you, I would be a monster.”
I pulled back a little, shocked, and looked at his face. The skin was drawn tight over his bones, and his eyes burned with fear and anger and love.
“You aren’t a monster,” I said.
“But I could be,” he said. “I can feel it inside me, the shadow that creeps and cloaks. If I had nothing to tether me to this world, that shadow would run free, would destroy everything in its path.”
“I’ve felt that shadow, too,” I said. “This is our legacy from Lucifer and Puck, the darkness that pulses in our blood. But I won’t let it take over, and I won’t let it take you, either.”
He looked at me uncertainly. “You will stay?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m not trying to get back to Gabriel. I want to live. I want to live with you.”
It wasn’t the same as telling him I loved him back. I knew that, and he did, too. But relief washed over his face. Our bond, forged in magic, had been strengthened. I had chosen Nathaniel over death.
I kissed him gently, his face in my hands, then rested my head on his shoulder. “Maybe someday Lucifer and all of his brothers will just go away and we’ll be able to live a normal life.”
“Yes, a normal life with wings and the power to destroy worlds,” Nathaniel said. “I do not think the American white picket fence is part of our future.”
“Probably not,” I said, and smiled. “But I make great apple pie. Ask Beezle.”
“I try not to speak to the gargoyle unless absolutely necessary. For some reason I find I become quite enraged when I do,” Nathaniel said, taking my hand and leading me from the room.
I grabbed Lucifer’s sword and swung it over my shoulder. Alerian probably wouldn’t try to hurt me. Probably. But it was hard for me to leave the house without it. That sword had saved me more times than I could count. And even if Alerian meant me no harm, that didn’t mean some other freaky thing wouldn’t pop out of the woodwork. That seemed to happen to me a lot.
“I think Beezle’s cultivating that effect on you,” I said. “He could be less annoying if he wanted to be.”
“And I could rise to the bait less often, hmm?” he said as we went down the front stairs.
