Blood and Sand
Page 79
“It’s not the same!”
“It’s exactly the same!” he exploded, pulling the car over to the side of the road and turning to face her. “And these vampires are far more dangerous than human gangs. These vampires are the people that human gangs run away from!”
She pushed her car door open and walked outside, but he followed her.
“Natalie, don’t walk away. You need to think about—”
She spun. “It’s not the same! It might not seem logical to you, but I didn’t know those police. They weren’t my friends. And it’s my friends I’ve brought into this. It’s my friends who could be in danger because of something that I pulled them into. I can’t just stand by while you all—”
“You are not going into any vampire fight. I will not allow it.”
“What are you going to do? Knock me out? Lock me in a room while you go fight this?”
Yes. That was exactly what he had planned on doing. Perceptive human. He only crossed his arms and stared at her impasd at thisively.
She could read his expression. “Bad idea, Baojia! Bad. Idea. The jury’s still out on you, mister. I haven’t decided whether you’re safe or not, and shit like this is not helping!”
Baojia took a step back, unexpectedly stunned by her words. She didn’t know if he was safe? He allowed her—a human he had known for a matter of weeks—to lay by his side while he slept. Utterly trusting that she would do him no harm while he was at his most vulnerable. But she didn’t trust him?
It hurt, but that hurt quickly turned to anger.
“You can’t trust me?”
Her face fell. “That’s not what I meant.”
“You said you didn’t know if I was safe or not.” He stepped forward as she took a step back. It only angered him more. “What have I done to harm you, Natalie? How have I not protected you?”
The color drained from her face. “Baojia—”
“I have done—I would do anything to keep you safe! Anything. And yet you say—”
“I don’t know if it’s safe to fall in love with you!” she shouted, tears falling from her eyes. “And I am. I’m falling in love with you, and it scares me to death.”
He halted, standing stock-still as her words reached him.
I’m falling in love with you.
In love. With him?
Her words reached him. Filled him. Soothed him. Excited him.
She was still talking. “And part of me still thinks this is nuts. It is nuts! And I have this tiny idea of what your world is, but mostly I feel blind. I’m stumbling into a life I can’t see the end of, but you’re the only thing that makes me feel the slightest bit sane. And that’s not sane. You’re not human. When you killed that vampire—you cut off his head! You. Cut. Off. His. Head. And you did it like you were taking out the trash. And part of me screamed, ‘That’s not normal!’ while the other part was just happy that it was him and not you. I was relieved!”
He stepped closer, put his hands on her shoulders, and drew her near.
“I would be giving up everything to love you,” she said under her breath. “I wanted a family. I wanted a normal life. I wanted what my parents had, no matter how it ended, but I’ve never—” She choked, and he pulled her closer. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I feel crazy, but nothing else makes sense.”
He kissed her forehead, holding her as if she was something fine. Breakable. She was.
“Natalie.”
“What?”
“No one, in my very long life, has ever told me they loved me.”
She sniffed again, and he cupped her cheeks, kissing the angry tears that had fallen.
“Do you realize…” she whispered. “Do you know what loving you would mean for me? For my life?”
“Yes.” He kissed her lips gently, then he whispered in her ear, “Love me anyway.”
“Baojia,” she groaned, trying to pull away. He wouldn’t let her. He wanted it—he wanted her—with a desperate kind of longing he’d never allowed before.
“Be afraid,” he pressed her. “Be angry. Love me anyway. I promise you won’t regret it.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“But I will.” He held her as she stood motionless in his arms. “I will, Natalie.”
He was afraid to breathe until her eyes lifted to his, defiant again. “Then I do.”
Baojia backed her up against the black car. “Tell me.”
“I love you.”
She said nothing else, because he kissed her with a lifetime’s worth of longing. She was his. However she might protest, however they might fight. She was his from that point until the end of her days. His mouth ravaged hers. His fangs fell, cutting the edge of her tongue, but he only sucked it into his mouth, tasting the blood that flowed from the cut. Natalie grabbed his hair, yanking him closer as he lifted her to sit on the edge of the car so they were face-to-face.
“I’m still angry with you,” she panted. “Even though I love you.”
“I can deal with angry.” He yanked her hips to his and she wrapped her legs around him. “I want to bite you. And not because I’m hungry.”
“Why—?”
“Do you crave it yet?” He licked up the side of her neck until he could bite the lobe of her ear. “Do you crave my bite like I crave your taste, Natalie?”
“It’s exactly the same!” he exploded, pulling the car over to the side of the road and turning to face her. “And these vampires are far more dangerous than human gangs. These vampires are the people that human gangs run away from!”
She pushed her car door open and walked outside, but he followed her.
“Natalie, don’t walk away. You need to think about—”
She spun. “It’s not the same! It might not seem logical to you, but I didn’t know those police. They weren’t my friends. And it’s my friends I’ve brought into this. It’s my friends who could be in danger because of something that I pulled them into. I can’t just stand by while you all—”
“You are not going into any vampire fight. I will not allow it.”
“What are you going to do? Knock me out? Lock me in a room while you go fight this?”
Yes. That was exactly what he had planned on doing. Perceptive human. He only crossed his arms and stared at her impasd at thisively.
She could read his expression. “Bad idea, Baojia! Bad. Idea. The jury’s still out on you, mister. I haven’t decided whether you’re safe or not, and shit like this is not helping!”
Baojia took a step back, unexpectedly stunned by her words. She didn’t know if he was safe? He allowed her—a human he had known for a matter of weeks—to lay by his side while he slept. Utterly trusting that she would do him no harm while he was at his most vulnerable. But she didn’t trust him?
It hurt, but that hurt quickly turned to anger.
“You can’t trust me?”
Her face fell. “That’s not what I meant.”
“You said you didn’t know if I was safe or not.” He stepped forward as she took a step back. It only angered him more. “What have I done to harm you, Natalie? How have I not protected you?”
The color drained from her face. “Baojia—”
“I have done—I would do anything to keep you safe! Anything. And yet you say—”
“I don’t know if it’s safe to fall in love with you!” she shouted, tears falling from her eyes. “And I am. I’m falling in love with you, and it scares me to death.”
He halted, standing stock-still as her words reached him.
I’m falling in love with you.
In love. With him?
Her words reached him. Filled him. Soothed him. Excited him.
She was still talking. “And part of me still thinks this is nuts. It is nuts! And I have this tiny idea of what your world is, but mostly I feel blind. I’m stumbling into a life I can’t see the end of, but you’re the only thing that makes me feel the slightest bit sane. And that’s not sane. You’re not human. When you killed that vampire—you cut off his head! You. Cut. Off. His. Head. And you did it like you were taking out the trash. And part of me screamed, ‘That’s not normal!’ while the other part was just happy that it was him and not you. I was relieved!”
He stepped closer, put his hands on her shoulders, and drew her near.
“I would be giving up everything to love you,” she said under her breath. “I wanted a family. I wanted a normal life. I wanted what my parents had, no matter how it ended, but I’ve never—” She choked, and he pulled her closer. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I feel crazy, but nothing else makes sense.”
He kissed her forehead, holding her as if she was something fine. Breakable. She was.
“Natalie.”
“What?”
“No one, in my very long life, has ever told me they loved me.”
She sniffed again, and he cupped her cheeks, kissing the angry tears that had fallen.
“Do you realize…” she whispered. “Do you know what loving you would mean for me? For my life?”
“Yes.” He kissed her lips gently, then he whispered in her ear, “Love me anyway.”
“Baojia,” she groaned, trying to pull away. He wouldn’t let her. He wanted it—he wanted her—with a desperate kind of longing he’d never allowed before.
“Be afraid,” he pressed her. “Be angry. Love me anyway. I promise you won’t regret it.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“But I will.” He held her as she stood motionless in his arms. “I will, Natalie.”
He was afraid to breathe until her eyes lifted to his, defiant again. “Then I do.”
Baojia backed her up against the black car. “Tell me.”
“I love you.”
She said nothing else, because he kissed her with a lifetime’s worth of longing. She was his. However she might protest, however they might fight. She was his from that point until the end of her days. His mouth ravaged hers. His fangs fell, cutting the edge of her tongue, but he only sucked it into his mouth, tasting the blood that flowed from the cut. Natalie grabbed his hair, yanking him closer as he lifted her to sit on the edge of the car so they were face-to-face.
“I’m still angry with you,” she panted. “Even though I love you.”
“I can deal with angry.” He yanked her hips to his and she wrapped her legs around him. “I want to bite you. And not because I’m hungry.”
“Why—?”
“Do you crave it yet?” He licked up the side of her neck until he could bite the lobe of her ear. “Do you crave my bite like I crave your taste, Natalie?”
