Bloodrose
Page 60
What the hell? He growled, rolling onto his feet.
I barked, crouching to leap again. I will show you how much I need to be taken care of.
His nails scraped against the floor as he backed away. Stop.
There was no way in hell I was stopping. I couldn’t remember a time when fury had shrieked through my veins like this. Without hesitation I lunged at him. We rolled across the floor, teeth snapping as we each struggled to gain an advantage. He almost had me pinned, but I squared a solid kick with my hind legs into his belly, which sent him careening across the room. Scrambling up, I chased him around the bed.
I do not need to be protected. I threw my shout at him as I ran. And if I choose to be alone, I will be.
That wasn’t what I meant. He jumped away from my bite and onto the bed. I just want you to be happy.
Then don’t make decisions for me. Ever.
He bent down, grabbed the coverlet in his jaws, and leapt off the bed. A net of opaque cotton captured me.
Hey! I struggled, blinded by the blankets that covered me. Not fair.
Innovation isn’t fair?
We were evenly matched, neither of us giving ground nor gaining a lasting advantage. I had years of fighting as a wolf on my side, but Shay was less inhibited by his wolf instincts. He made choices in the fight that never would have occurred to me.
I was ready for him when he tackled me. I bucked up immediately, tossing, keeping him off balance. Frustration won out and I simply shredded the blanket rather than trying to find my way out of it.
Shay was snarling, circling behind me. I whirled around, bracing myself for his attack.
He pawed the ground, agitated.
Come on. I threw the challenge at him as I growled. I was about to throw myself on him again when he shifted forms, holding his hands up.
“Wait, Cal. Not that this isn’t fun, but I’m not here to fight you. I was just trying to make a point.”
I snarled as I shifted forms. “A point about giving up?”
“I’m not giving up. I’m being realistic,” Shay said. “How likely is it that I’ll come out of this battle alive?”
“As likely as any of the rest of us,” I said. Though admittedly that wasn’t too likely either.
“No,” he said. “Not considering what I have to do.”
“What?” I said. “So you’re the hero, which automatically means you die in the end?”
“Probably. And that’s why I made Ren promise to take care of you,” he said. “Even Harry Potter died. Well, for a few minutes.”
I ignored his joke, baring my teeth at him. “Why would you bring Ren into this? You hate him.”
“I hate him because he’s your mate.... You two are the perfect match.” He broke his gaze from mine with a shrug. Suddenly he laughed, shaking his head. “If I thought things would turn out differently, I swear I’d fight him until we were both ripped to shreds. I’d fight for you forever, Calla. I don’t give a damn how much he loves you. But like I said, we talked and I can live with what we decided.”
“If you both are making decisions for me, why isn’t he here too?” I asked, still throwing knives at him with my eyes. “Now that you’ve become such good friends.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. It’s more of an understanding,” Shay said. “I think he feels a little bad for me.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. “Why?”
“After we all heard what I have to do to finish this, I think he’s pretty sure I’m dead too.”
“You mean facing Bosque?” I asked.
He nodded. “I have to kill the only relative I’ve ever known. Plus he’s an über-demon and all.”
“He’s not your blood kin. Not really,” I said. “You know that. And if this works, you’ll have your parents.”
“I guess.” He sighed.
I took his face in my hands, holding his gaze. “You’re not going to die.”
“You sound pretty sure.” He smiled, but his moss green eyes were sad—like he’d already lost me.
My hands dropped to my sides. “You’re not going to die, because I will always save you,” I said. “That’s what I do.”
“Not this time,” he said. “This is different. This is the end. I know it.”
I growled and then I slapped him.
“Hey!” His hand pressed to his cheek.
“You always say that when I slap you,” I said.
“I think it’s a problem that you know what I say when you slap me,” he said. “That’s not the kind of intimacy I’m looking for.”
“You’re not looking for intimacy at all!” My hands balled into fists so tight the blood drained from my knuckles. “You’re running away from it! You’re running away from me!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, rubbing his reddened skin. “I was just trying to be honest.”
“Honest about giving me up?!” I refused to cry, so I kept shouting. “Honest about not loving me?!”
I stumbled away from him, muscles quivering with rage and shame. I’d seen this coming. He wasn’t mine. Now that he was the Scion, his destiny was all that mattered. Didn’t he understand that I’d abandoned mine for his sake? Betrayal stung up and down my chest like the fury of a dozen wasps, making it hard to breathe.
“Calla.” He was behind me, turning me gently to face him.
“How dare you?!” I beat my fist against his chest. “How dare you try to push me away?!”
“I could never . . .”
“You just did.” My teeth were sharp and I was ready to attack him all over again.
He put his hands on my shoulders. “Just listen to me. I’m not trying to push you away. I’m trying to give you what you deserve. Ren loves you.”
“Stop saying that,” I snarled. I didn’t want to hear any more about Ren loving me. I wanted Shay to take away my growing fear that he didn’t want me . . . that maybe he’d never loved me.
“And you love him,” Shay said. I fell silent, surprised not only by his words but by the way he held my gaze. I watched pain flare in his eyes. “I didn’t want to face it, but it’s true. You love him, Calla.”
It took me a moment to catch my breath. I threaded my fingers through his, finally understanding what Shay was trying to do. He was giving me a choice. He was setting me free. “You’re right. I love him.”
I barked, crouching to leap again. I will show you how much I need to be taken care of.
His nails scraped against the floor as he backed away. Stop.
There was no way in hell I was stopping. I couldn’t remember a time when fury had shrieked through my veins like this. Without hesitation I lunged at him. We rolled across the floor, teeth snapping as we each struggled to gain an advantage. He almost had me pinned, but I squared a solid kick with my hind legs into his belly, which sent him careening across the room. Scrambling up, I chased him around the bed.
I do not need to be protected. I threw my shout at him as I ran. And if I choose to be alone, I will be.
That wasn’t what I meant. He jumped away from my bite and onto the bed. I just want you to be happy.
Then don’t make decisions for me. Ever.
He bent down, grabbed the coverlet in his jaws, and leapt off the bed. A net of opaque cotton captured me.
Hey! I struggled, blinded by the blankets that covered me. Not fair.
Innovation isn’t fair?
We were evenly matched, neither of us giving ground nor gaining a lasting advantage. I had years of fighting as a wolf on my side, but Shay was less inhibited by his wolf instincts. He made choices in the fight that never would have occurred to me.
I was ready for him when he tackled me. I bucked up immediately, tossing, keeping him off balance. Frustration won out and I simply shredded the blanket rather than trying to find my way out of it.
Shay was snarling, circling behind me. I whirled around, bracing myself for his attack.
He pawed the ground, agitated.
Come on. I threw the challenge at him as I growled. I was about to throw myself on him again when he shifted forms, holding his hands up.
“Wait, Cal. Not that this isn’t fun, but I’m not here to fight you. I was just trying to make a point.”
I snarled as I shifted forms. “A point about giving up?”
“I’m not giving up. I’m being realistic,” Shay said. “How likely is it that I’ll come out of this battle alive?”
“As likely as any of the rest of us,” I said. Though admittedly that wasn’t too likely either.
“No,” he said. “Not considering what I have to do.”
“What?” I said. “So you’re the hero, which automatically means you die in the end?”
“Probably. And that’s why I made Ren promise to take care of you,” he said. “Even Harry Potter died. Well, for a few minutes.”
I ignored his joke, baring my teeth at him. “Why would you bring Ren into this? You hate him.”
“I hate him because he’s your mate.... You two are the perfect match.” He broke his gaze from mine with a shrug. Suddenly he laughed, shaking his head. “If I thought things would turn out differently, I swear I’d fight him until we were both ripped to shreds. I’d fight for you forever, Calla. I don’t give a damn how much he loves you. But like I said, we talked and I can live with what we decided.”
“If you both are making decisions for me, why isn’t he here too?” I asked, still throwing knives at him with my eyes. “Now that you’ve become such good friends.”
“I wouldn’t go that far. It’s more of an understanding,” Shay said. “I think he feels a little bad for me.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. “Why?”
“After we all heard what I have to do to finish this, I think he’s pretty sure I’m dead too.”
“You mean facing Bosque?” I asked.
He nodded. “I have to kill the only relative I’ve ever known. Plus he’s an über-demon and all.”
“He’s not your blood kin. Not really,” I said. “You know that. And if this works, you’ll have your parents.”
“I guess.” He sighed.
I took his face in my hands, holding his gaze. “You’re not going to die.”
“You sound pretty sure.” He smiled, but his moss green eyes were sad—like he’d already lost me.
My hands dropped to my sides. “You’re not going to die, because I will always save you,” I said. “That’s what I do.”
“Not this time,” he said. “This is different. This is the end. I know it.”
I growled and then I slapped him.
“Hey!” His hand pressed to his cheek.
“You always say that when I slap you,” I said.
“I think it’s a problem that you know what I say when you slap me,” he said. “That’s not the kind of intimacy I’m looking for.”
“You’re not looking for intimacy at all!” My hands balled into fists so tight the blood drained from my knuckles. “You’re running away from it! You’re running away from me!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, rubbing his reddened skin. “I was just trying to be honest.”
“Honest about giving me up?!” I refused to cry, so I kept shouting. “Honest about not loving me?!”
I stumbled away from him, muscles quivering with rage and shame. I’d seen this coming. He wasn’t mine. Now that he was the Scion, his destiny was all that mattered. Didn’t he understand that I’d abandoned mine for his sake? Betrayal stung up and down my chest like the fury of a dozen wasps, making it hard to breathe.
“Calla.” He was behind me, turning me gently to face him.
“How dare you?!” I beat my fist against his chest. “How dare you try to push me away?!”
“I could never . . .”
“You just did.” My teeth were sharp and I was ready to attack him all over again.
He put his hands on my shoulders. “Just listen to me. I’m not trying to push you away. I’m trying to give you what you deserve. Ren loves you.”
“Stop saying that,” I snarled. I didn’t want to hear any more about Ren loving me. I wanted Shay to take away my growing fear that he didn’t want me . . . that maybe he’d never loved me.
“And you love him,” Shay said. I fell silent, surprised not only by his words but by the way he held my gaze. I watched pain flare in his eyes. “I didn’t want to face it, but it’s true. You love him, Calla.”
It took me a moment to catch my breath. I threaded my fingers through his, finally understanding what Shay was trying to do. He was giving me a choice. He was setting me free. “You’re right. I love him.”
