Boarded by Love
Page 101
Right?
I just don’t know. Standing up, I pack up my stuff and throw my jacket on over my sweatshirt. I always make sure to wear it out of the club in case a patron is outside. I don’t want anyone knowing where I am, or even who I am. I spent the whole night changing outfits to make sure my arm was covered so no one could see my tattoo. I should have waited to get it, but oh well, I love it.
Bundled up in my jacket, I throw my money in my bag and head to security so they can walk me to my car in the back. Ben is happy to do it, thankfully, and walks out with me. We don’t really talk much as we walk, mainly because I don’t want to distract him from seeing anyone who is out to get me.
A little paranoid? Yeah, just a tad.
Pulling out my phone, I click Jude’s name and type:
R u awake?
I watch the screen, waiting for his response. When he doesn’t answer by the time we reach my car, I tuck my phone in my pocket. But when I look up, I am frozen in place. My stomach drops, my heart races, and everything inside me goes cold as I gasp for breath.
“Who’s that guy in your car?” Ben asks, but I can’t answer him.
I can only choke back the tears as Phillip slowly unfolds himself from my car, his eyes flashing with anger.
Swallowing loudly, I whisper, “My uncle.”
“So you’re good?” Ben asks and Phillip’s head tilts to the side, waiting for my answer.
One would probably assume I’d take the coward’s way out and say no so that Ben could protect me from the wrath of Phillip, but that’s not how I roll. I knew this was coming; I had to face the music someday, and today, or well, tonight is the night. While, yes, my body is shaking with fear, my heart feels as if it’s coming out of my chest, my throat is thick with emotion, and I have no clue what I’m going to say to him, I know I have to stand here and take responsibility for what I have decided to keep to myself.
He loves me. Phillip will support me. I know this.
Taking in a deep breath, I say, “Yeah, I’m good.”
Ben looks wary to leave me alone, but like I knew he would, he says, “Okay, have a good night. Holler if you need me.”
“Thank you,” I say, and I watch as he walks away. When the door to the club closes, I look back at Phillip. “What are you doing here?” I ask, and as soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I had kept my mouth shut.
“What am I doing here? Well, let me tell you,” he says, his voice sharp and so full of anger it scares me. “I came for a bachelor party with my friends, Claire. Since we aren’t out for a quick peek as we’re all married, we came here, and the night was going great until I saw my niece onstage opening her legs and wiggling her ass for the world to see! So the real question is, what the fuck are you doing here?”
“Working,” I answer simply, my tears threatening to fall.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Claire. Working? Why? I will give you everything you need.”
“I know you will and I hate that!” I say, meeting his gaze. “I don’t want you to support me. I’m old enough to take care of myself. That’s why I work at the studio, why I work here. I need the money. I need to know that I am going to be okay.”
“Okay?” he yells. “Claire, I will always make sure you are okay! That is my job!”
“And it was my mom’s job, and we see how she provided, right?” I snap back, and his face goes blank. As he takes a step toward me, I take one back, but he snatches me by my arms, pulling me to him.
“No, no, she fucking didn’t, and I hope you aren’t trying to throw that in my face.”
I shake my arms free and take another step back. “No, I’m not, but you have to understand why. You have to know that I’m doing this to protect myself. You may love and support me now, but you can leave at any time – you have before – and if that happens again, I’ll be secure. I’ll be set for life.”
Shaking his head, I watch as his eyes go hollow with despair. “You just can’t let it go, can you? Yes, I left, and I have spent the last three years doing everything in the world to make up for it. I may have left you, but Claire, I never stopped loving you. I did everything I could to protect you from your mom, but she wouldn’t allow me to do what was best for you. She used you as a free ride, and I didn’t realize it till it was too late. Did I try hard enough? Probably not, but I was a kid, Claire. Let it go! I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere!”
His voice echoes through the parking lot, and I’m sure that Ben will be out in no time. Looking deep in his eyes, I know what he says is true. I know he tried to get me when I was younger, but my mom did use me. She couldn’t let go of me when I was the only reason Phillip sent her money. Instead, she subjected me to her life, abused me, and allowed men to use me. Looking down at the ground, I take in a deep breath, trying to calm my heart, but it is beating out of control.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” I say, meeting his gaze. “I know I need to let it go and that it is all in the past, but surely you can understand why I do this.”
“No, I’m sorry I can’t. If you needed money, I’d give it to you.”
“But you shouldn’t have to. I don’t take handouts. I work for what I want, and you know that. I’ve been like that since I could work.”
“I get that, Claire, but this is not a career – this is slutty.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s beautiful and I love it. I love the beauty of it, the sexy tease of it. I have fun, and Phillip, I’m amazing at it. I choreograph all the dances and I get paid bank. I’m so good that they have investors coming to expand Ms. Prissy’s all over the US. I could get hired to run a whole club. A place where they will do what I say and dance to my choreography. I know you may not see this as a career you want for me, but it is a promising one. I mean, Reese did this for years and didn’t stop until I got the job.”
His eyes widen as he takes a step toward me. “Wait, does she know about this?”
Oh fuck.
Pressing my lips together, I look away, and when I don’t answer, he yells, “She fucking does! Un-fucking-believable! Wait, did she get you the job here?”
“No,” I say quickly. “Prissy approached me on her own.”
I just don’t know. Standing up, I pack up my stuff and throw my jacket on over my sweatshirt. I always make sure to wear it out of the club in case a patron is outside. I don’t want anyone knowing where I am, or even who I am. I spent the whole night changing outfits to make sure my arm was covered so no one could see my tattoo. I should have waited to get it, but oh well, I love it.
Bundled up in my jacket, I throw my money in my bag and head to security so they can walk me to my car in the back. Ben is happy to do it, thankfully, and walks out with me. We don’t really talk much as we walk, mainly because I don’t want to distract him from seeing anyone who is out to get me.
A little paranoid? Yeah, just a tad.
Pulling out my phone, I click Jude’s name and type:
R u awake?
I watch the screen, waiting for his response. When he doesn’t answer by the time we reach my car, I tuck my phone in my pocket. But when I look up, I am frozen in place. My stomach drops, my heart races, and everything inside me goes cold as I gasp for breath.
“Who’s that guy in your car?” Ben asks, but I can’t answer him.
I can only choke back the tears as Phillip slowly unfolds himself from my car, his eyes flashing with anger.
Swallowing loudly, I whisper, “My uncle.”
“So you’re good?” Ben asks and Phillip’s head tilts to the side, waiting for my answer.
One would probably assume I’d take the coward’s way out and say no so that Ben could protect me from the wrath of Phillip, but that’s not how I roll. I knew this was coming; I had to face the music someday, and today, or well, tonight is the night. While, yes, my body is shaking with fear, my heart feels as if it’s coming out of my chest, my throat is thick with emotion, and I have no clue what I’m going to say to him, I know I have to stand here and take responsibility for what I have decided to keep to myself.
He loves me. Phillip will support me. I know this.
Taking in a deep breath, I say, “Yeah, I’m good.”
Ben looks wary to leave me alone, but like I knew he would, he says, “Okay, have a good night. Holler if you need me.”
“Thank you,” I say, and I watch as he walks away. When the door to the club closes, I look back at Phillip. “What are you doing here?” I ask, and as soon as the words leave my mouth, I wish I had kept my mouth shut.
“What am I doing here? Well, let me tell you,” he says, his voice sharp and so full of anger it scares me. “I came for a bachelor party with my friends, Claire. Since we aren’t out for a quick peek as we’re all married, we came here, and the night was going great until I saw my niece onstage opening her legs and wiggling her ass for the world to see! So the real question is, what the fuck are you doing here?”
“Working,” I answer simply, my tears threatening to fall.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Claire. Working? Why? I will give you everything you need.”
“I know you will and I hate that!” I say, meeting his gaze. “I don’t want you to support me. I’m old enough to take care of myself. That’s why I work at the studio, why I work here. I need the money. I need to know that I am going to be okay.”
“Okay?” he yells. “Claire, I will always make sure you are okay! That is my job!”
“And it was my mom’s job, and we see how she provided, right?” I snap back, and his face goes blank. As he takes a step toward me, I take one back, but he snatches me by my arms, pulling me to him.
“No, no, she fucking didn’t, and I hope you aren’t trying to throw that in my face.”
I shake my arms free and take another step back. “No, I’m not, but you have to understand why. You have to know that I’m doing this to protect myself. You may love and support me now, but you can leave at any time – you have before – and if that happens again, I’ll be secure. I’ll be set for life.”
Shaking his head, I watch as his eyes go hollow with despair. “You just can’t let it go, can you? Yes, I left, and I have spent the last three years doing everything in the world to make up for it. I may have left you, but Claire, I never stopped loving you. I did everything I could to protect you from your mom, but she wouldn’t allow me to do what was best for you. She used you as a free ride, and I didn’t realize it till it was too late. Did I try hard enough? Probably not, but I was a kid, Claire. Let it go! I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere!”
His voice echoes through the parking lot, and I’m sure that Ben will be out in no time. Looking deep in his eyes, I know what he says is true. I know he tried to get me when I was younger, but my mom did use me. She couldn’t let go of me when I was the only reason Phillip sent her money. Instead, she subjected me to her life, abused me, and allowed men to use me. Looking down at the ground, I take in a deep breath, trying to calm my heart, but it is beating out of control.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” I say, meeting his gaze. “I know I need to let it go and that it is all in the past, but surely you can understand why I do this.”
“No, I’m sorry I can’t. If you needed money, I’d give it to you.”
“But you shouldn’t have to. I don’t take handouts. I work for what I want, and you know that. I’ve been like that since I could work.”
“I get that, Claire, but this is not a career – this is slutty.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s beautiful and I love it. I love the beauty of it, the sexy tease of it. I have fun, and Phillip, I’m amazing at it. I choreograph all the dances and I get paid bank. I’m so good that they have investors coming to expand Ms. Prissy’s all over the US. I could get hired to run a whole club. A place where they will do what I say and dance to my choreography. I know you may not see this as a career you want for me, but it is a promising one. I mean, Reese did this for years and didn’t stop until I got the job.”
His eyes widen as he takes a step toward me. “Wait, does she know about this?”
Oh fuck.
Pressing my lips together, I look away, and when I don’t answer, he yells, “She fucking does! Un-fucking-believable! Wait, did she get you the job here?”
“No,” I say quickly. “Prissy approached me on her own.”
