Boarded by Love
Page 60
He looks back at me like I have the answers, and I just shrug. “Jude, you don’t have to give anyone a reason. It’s you that they fall for.”
What I’ve said about Rachael must not matter because his mouth curves at the side as he reaches for me. I guess it’s good that he doesn’t care that she loves him, that all he cares about is me, but still I kinda feel bad for her. It has to be hard to love someone and for them not to love you back. I can’t imagine that kind of rejection.
“So you’ve fallen for me?” he says, waggling his eyebrows at me.
I laugh as I smack his hands away. “Whoa there, buddy, don’t go jumping to conclusions.”
“Oh, come on, you know you love me,” he says, pinching my butt, making me jump.
“In your dreams,” I say, moving out of his reach and heading out the door, but before I can open it, he slams it shut.
Turning me, he leans into my body, his mouth so close to mine as he whispers, “You’re damn right, in my dreams. But I hope one day it will be a reality.”
I can see it in his eyes. I think he may love me, but there is no way I’m going to say it without his saying it first. No way in freaking hell.
Reaching up, I cup his face, rubbing my thumb along his bottom lip. “This is some deep stuff. Let’s go back to your house and lie around and be lazy instead.”
He nods as he wraps his arms around me, picking me up off my feet. “I’ll get you to admit it sooner or later,” he says with a wink. “I know you do – I can feel it.”
I laugh. “I have never told anyone I love them but my uncle and aunt, so keep that in mind, mister.”
He smiles. “So I’ll be your first?”
I look away, my cheeks warming. “Yeah.”
“Good, ’cause you’ll be my first too,” he says, bringing me down so he can kiss me softly.
And I don’t know why I think this as I kiss his sweet lips – because, for goodness’ sake, this is freaking crazy and fast and could end in a fiery blaze – but I still think it. I still crave it. And as I close my eyes extra tight, I pray and hope that, maybe, I’ll be his last.
Once we’re back at the Bullies’ house, we end up in Jude’s bed watching Wicked Tuna. It’s my favorite show but he doesn’t seem entertained in the least. He seems more entertained by tangling his fingers in my hair than watching and I don’t mind really. I’m comfortable, lying across his chest, our legs tangled together as I’m engrossed in the art of tuna fishing. Moving my hand under his shirt, I circle my finger along his abs out of habit. It’s my favorite thing to do when we lie with each other.
It’s intimate and special.
“Can we please watch something else?”
My body shakes with laughter as I sit up to look down at him. “Don’t like tuna fishing?”
“No, not at all. Let’s watch Cops,” he says, taking the remote and changing it.
“You’re lucky I like this show.”
He flashes his teeth at me in a silly way and I settle back down on him. “So, guess what?”
Looking up at him, I smile. “What?”
“Tomorrow is our fourteenth day,” he says with a big grin on his face.
With a mock shocked look on my face, I say, “No! Really? Man, time flies.”
He laughs as his arm tightens around me. “Don’t act like you haven’t been counting down the time with me.”
I shrug. “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t.”
He kisses my temple and then we both turn to watch the show. “My favorite part is when someone gets tased,” I say with a smile. “I always laugh so hard.”
“Me too,” he says, his body rumbling with his chuckle. “I also like the people who are like, ‘No, I have no drugs,’ and then they have a whole car full.”
I nod as I laugh. “Classic, I tell ya.”
“Yup,” he says just as the person on the TV gets tased. We both burst out laughing as the person falls to the ground and the cops attack him. “Greatest show ever.”
“Agreed,” I say as my laughter subsides. Looking up at him, I watch as he watches TV, and I can’t help but wonder how I got so lucky to lie in bed with someone so fantastic? Girls want him something crazy, and I was the lucky one to land him. He likes me. He wants me. How did that happen? I’m not sure, but I am so thankful. Now all I gotta do is make sure not to screw it up. I need to tell him my secret, but every time I look at him, I don’t know how to say the words I know will make him mad or jealous.
When he looks up at me, he smiles, his eyes locked on mine as he cups my face. “What are you thinking, baby?”
I bring my lip between my teeth, the words right there. Just say them, Claire. Be honest.
“Are you going to talk to Rachael?” I ask, and as soon as I do, I hate myself even more.
“Probably. Don’t think I want her or anything like that. It’s not that. I just need to shut that down, you know? I can’t have her coming at you with bullshit. I’ll fix it and hopefully she’ll understand that I never meant to hurt her.”
I nod. “I’m sure she will, even though she doesn’t deserve it,” I say.
“True, but I want to fix it. For us. I don’t want any more drama. I want to be drama-free, just happy, me and you.”
“Me too,” I admit as I let out a long breath. “But we’re in college. College is drama.”
He laughs. “This is true, but maybe things can be normal between us.”
I want that more than I want my next breath. “Yeah, hopefully.”
Smiling, he presses his lips to mine and then asks, “So what are you doing tomorrow around four?”
“Nothing,” I say, nuzzling my nose along his. “Are we going to karaoke? Hope you’re ready to lose again!”
“You cheated, and yes.”
“I didn’t cheat, and do you want me to come here at four?”
He shakes his head. “Yes, you did, and no, I’ll text you when we’re ready.”
“You’re insane, but okay. So what do you need me at four for?”
“You’re delusional to think you can beat Jude motherfucking Sinclair fair and square at karaoke, and no reason at all.”
We eye each other and then I sit up, pointing at him.
What I’ve said about Rachael must not matter because his mouth curves at the side as he reaches for me. I guess it’s good that he doesn’t care that she loves him, that all he cares about is me, but still I kinda feel bad for her. It has to be hard to love someone and for them not to love you back. I can’t imagine that kind of rejection.
“So you’ve fallen for me?” he says, waggling his eyebrows at me.
I laugh as I smack his hands away. “Whoa there, buddy, don’t go jumping to conclusions.”
“Oh, come on, you know you love me,” he says, pinching my butt, making me jump.
“In your dreams,” I say, moving out of his reach and heading out the door, but before I can open it, he slams it shut.
Turning me, he leans into my body, his mouth so close to mine as he whispers, “You’re damn right, in my dreams. But I hope one day it will be a reality.”
I can see it in his eyes. I think he may love me, but there is no way I’m going to say it without his saying it first. No way in freaking hell.
Reaching up, I cup his face, rubbing my thumb along his bottom lip. “This is some deep stuff. Let’s go back to your house and lie around and be lazy instead.”
He nods as he wraps his arms around me, picking me up off my feet. “I’ll get you to admit it sooner or later,” he says with a wink. “I know you do – I can feel it.”
I laugh. “I have never told anyone I love them but my uncle and aunt, so keep that in mind, mister.”
He smiles. “So I’ll be your first?”
I look away, my cheeks warming. “Yeah.”
“Good, ’cause you’ll be my first too,” he says, bringing me down so he can kiss me softly.
And I don’t know why I think this as I kiss his sweet lips – because, for goodness’ sake, this is freaking crazy and fast and could end in a fiery blaze – but I still think it. I still crave it. And as I close my eyes extra tight, I pray and hope that, maybe, I’ll be his last.
Once we’re back at the Bullies’ house, we end up in Jude’s bed watching Wicked Tuna. It’s my favorite show but he doesn’t seem entertained in the least. He seems more entertained by tangling his fingers in my hair than watching and I don’t mind really. I’m comfortable, lying across his chest, our legs tangled together as I’m engrossed in the art of tuna fishing. Moving my hand under his shirt, I circle my finger along his abs out of habit. It’s my favorite thing to do when we lie with each other.
It’s intimate and special.
“Can we please watch something else?”
My body shakes with laughter as I sit up to look down at him. “Don’t like tuna fishing?”
“No, not at all. Let’s watch Cops,” he says, taking the remote and changing it.
“You’re lucky I like this show.”
He flashes his teeth at me in a silly way and I settle back down on him. “So, guess what?”
Looking up at him, I smile. “What?”
“Tomorrow is our fourteenth day,” he says with a big grin on his face.
With a mock shocked look on my face, I say, “No! Really? Man, time flies.”
He laughs as his arm tightens around me. “Don’t act like you haven’t been counting down the time with me.”
I shrug. “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t.”
He kisses my temple and then we both turn to watch the show. “My favorite part is when someone gets tased,” I say with a smile. “I always laugh so hard.”
“Me too,” he says, his body rumbling with his chuckle. “I also like the people who are like, ‘No, I have no drugs,’ and then they have a whole car full.”
I nod as I laugh. “Classic, I tell ya.”
“Yup,” he says just as the person on the TV gets tased. We both burst out laughing as the person falls to the ground and the cops attack him. “Greatest show ever.”
“Agreed,” I say as my laughter subsides. Looking up at him, I watch as he watches TV, and I can’t help but wonder how I got so lucky to lie in bed with someone so fantastic? Girls want him something crazy, and I was the lucky one to land him. He likes me. He wants me. How did that happen? I’m not sure, but I am so thankful. Now all I gotta do is make sure not to screw it up. I need to tell him my secret, but every time I look at him, I don’t know how to say the words I know will make him mad or jealous.
When he looks up at me, he smiles, his eyes locked on mine as he cups my face. “What are you thinking, baby?”
I bring my lip between my teeth, the words right there. Just say them, Claire. Be honest.
“Are you going to talk to Rachael?” I ask, and as soon as I do, I hate myself even more.
“Probably. Don’t think I want her or anything like that. It’s not that. I just need to shut that down, you know? I can’t have her coming at you with bullshit. I’ll fix it and hopefully she’ll understand that I never meant to hurt her.”
I nod. “I’m sure she will, even though she doesn’t deserve it,” I say.
“True, but I want to fix it. For us. I don’t want any more drama. I want to be drama-free, just happy, me and you.”
“Me too,” I admit as I let out a long breath. “But we’re in college. College is drama.”
He laughs. “This is true, but maybe things can be normal between us.”
I want that more than I want my next breath. “Yeah, hopefully.”
Smiling, he presses his lips to mine and then asks, “So what are you doing tomorrow around four?”
“Nothing,” I say, nuzzling my nose along his. “Are we going to karaoke? Hope you’re ready to lose again!”
“You cheated, and yes.”
“I didn’t cheat, and do you want me to come here at four?”
He shakes his head. “Yes, you did, and no, I’ll text you when we’re ready.”
“You’re insane, but okay. So what do you need me at four for?”
“You’re delusional to think you can beat Jude motherfucking Sinclair fair and square at karaoke, and no reason at all.”
We eye each other and then I sit up, pointing at him.
