Boarded by Love
Page 67
“Anytime, bud. I’ll see you Friday. Me and the family will be there for opening night.”
I smile. “See you then.”
Leaning on my elbows, I hang up and let out a long breath. This is good. The teams are good. Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, or Tampa. They are far from home but doable. I can do this. This is what I’ve been hoping for my whole life. This is my dream, and I am making it a reality. I want to be happy, ecstatic even, because not everyone has more than one team looking at them, but I’m nervous. Will my mom be okay without me? And also, will I be able to convince Claire to go with me?
They are the two most important people in my life, and I’m not sure how this is going to work. I know my mom will be supportive; she has known from the beginning that this could happen, but Claire… She didn’t sign up for this, but she knew. She had to know that I might leave Tennessee. Can we do long-distance? Will we? Or will she follow me? I know this is kinda crazy to think of now since I have nine months until the draft, but maybe I should find out before I fall even more for her. But then what? If she doesn’t want to go, do I break it off? That seems impossible to me. I’m completely invested in this girl, so really there is no other option. I should just let it happen. Everything will work out. We will be together because we love each other and we’re fighters. We’ll fight for us. Yeah, we’re good. And my mom, she’ll be solid. Everything will be fine.
Letting out a breath, as if I’m letting that thought go, I feel better. I know it will be fine. Leaning back on my hands, I look up at the sky and take in another breath before letting it out. I should go inside but it really is a pretty day. I wish that Claire didn’t have to work. It would have been a perfect day to lie around in the grass and be lazy. Deciding that I’ll do that and just imagine she’s here, I go and get a blanket before laying it on the grass and lying down. Closing my eyes, I let my breathing even out and relax. I let go of all my thoughts. The draft, my mom, Claire, everything, I just completely relax and before I know it, I’m out.
I wake to the sound of my phone ringing. Sitting up, I grab it to see that it’s my dad. My brows come up as I lean on my knees, hitting answer.
“Hello?”
“Jude?”
“Yeah?”
“Hey, it’s your dad,” he says and his voice is short.
“Yeah, I know. I have caller ID. What’s up?”
“Always the smartass, but I don’t have time to scold you on that,” he says and I roll my eyes. “Did you talk to Ralph today?”
“I did.”
“Good, the teams are okay, I guess.”
I hate the way he does that. Make everything sound like crap when this is the biggest opportunity in the world. The NHL is what every hockey player wants, and he says it like it’s nothing. Like I’m playing for a rec league.
“Yeah, great teams even.”
“They aren’t the Wings though, or even the Bruins for that matter, but whatever. Maybe you’ll get traded.”
“I have time. They can still come for me.”
“Doubt it.”
Letting out a breath, I wonder why I even answer his calls. “Why did you call again?”
“To talk about the teams,” he says. “But if you’re busy, I’ll let you go.”
“It’s not that. It just seems like you’re being a jerk when your son is going into the NHL, and that seems a little insane to me.”
“I don’t see myself being a jerk, Jude Mitchell, I see it as pushing you. I want what is best for you, and the best is not those four teams.”
“That’s only your opinion. I think they are all Stanley Cup-winning teams. That’s awesome.”
“Maybe in your eyes, but I want more for you. Which reminds me–” he says before pausing “–are you still seeing that girl?”
My skin breaks out in gooseflesh. Why is he asking about Claire? “Claire,” I say, reminding him of her name. “Yes, I am.”
“Hmm. I don’t know about her. I feel like I know her from somewhere.”
“I don’t know how, but it doesn’t matter because she’s great, amazing. I love her.”
He scoffs. “What the hell do you know of love, Jude? Nothing. It’s not even a real thing.”
I pause, my heart clanking against my chest. “So you don’t love me? Mom, Jayden, Lucy, Angie, or Jace?”
“Of course I do, but that’s different. What you’re feeling right now is lust, and enjoy that, but don’t get all wrapped up in this girl to where your game starts to suffer. I’ll be watching you, Jude Mitchell. Don’t let her ruin you.”
I don’t know why I let him bother me, why I even care. But that pisses me off to the point of no return. Claire wouldn’t do that. She loves me. “She won’t ruin me. She’s changed me. Made me a better person.”
“You’re still the same person – you’re just trying to impress her for some ass, Jude. Don’t lie to me or yourself. You’re exactly like me. We aren’t made for that stuff and I got stuck. Don’t get stuck, and don’t tell your mother I said that. It’ll piss her off. I love your mother, but that took a long time for me to realize. Don’t make my mistakes. Go into the NHL, enjoy life, and leave her behind. She’ll hold you back.”
I feel like he’s kicked me in the gut. Who says this to their kid? Doesn’t he want me to be happy? “I have changed, Dad. I’m nowhere near the kind of person you are, and I know that loving someone is not a mistake. Not when they lift you up instead of holding you back. Don’t talk about Claire, my mother, or anyone I love like that. You are lucky to be loved by Mom ’cause God knows you don’t deserve it. I’m going to go into the NHL, and I’m going to do it with Claire beside me. I’m going to be the best player in the world ’cause not only am I a badass player but I’m loved by her.”
He laughs and it makes my skin crawl. “Keep dreaming, kid. You’ll end up with kids and a wife and no NHL in no time.”
I don’t even know what to say. I’m so hurt, so fucking mad. Ending the call, I drop my phone before falling onto my back and squeezing my eyes shut. I don’t know why I let him affect me. Why I even listen to him. He’s a fucking jerk. He doesn’t love me, or anyone but himself for that matter. When everyone realizes this – and leaves him – he’ll die an old, sad man with no one, while all of us are happy and loved. That thought alone has me calming down. His words are like rocks and meant to shatter me, but I won’t allow him that power. I know what I have. I know who I am and what I can accomplish. I can do anything I put my mind to, but with Claire encouraging and giving me her love, I can do it ten times better.
I smile. “See you then.”
Leaning on my elbows, I hang up and let out a long breath. This is good. The teams are good. Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, or Tampa. They are far from home but doable. I can do this. This is what I’ve been hoping for my whole life. This is my dream, and I am making it a reality. I want to be happy, ecstatic even, because not everyone has more than one team looking at them, but I’m nervous. Will my mom be okay without me? And also, will I be able to convince Claire to go with me?
They are the two most important people in my life, and I’m not sure how this is going to work. I know my mom will be supportive; she has known from the beginning that this could happen, but Claire… She didn’t sign up for this, but she knew. She had to know that I might leave Tennessee. Can we do long-distance? Will we? Or will she follow me? I know this is kinda crazy to think of now since I have nine months until the draft, but maybe I should find out before I fall even more for her. But then what? If she doesn’t want to go, do I break it off? That seems impossible to me. I’m completely invested in this girl, so really there is no other option. I should just let it happen. Everything will work out. We will be together because we love each other and we’re fighters. We’ll fight for us. Yeah, we’re good. And my mom, she’ll be solid. Everything will be fine.
Letting out a breath, as if I’m letting that thought go, I feel better. I know it will be fine. Leaning back on my hands, I look up at the sky and take in another breath before letting it out. I should go inside but it really is a pretty day. I wish that Claire didn’t have to work. It would have been a perfect day to lie around in the grass and be lazy. Deciding that I’ll do that and just imagine she’s here, I go and get a blanket before laying it on the grass and lying down. Closing my eyes, I let my breathing even out and relax. I let go of all my thoughts. The draft, my mom, Claire, everything, I just completely relax and before I know it, I’m out.
I wake to the sound of my phone ringing. Sitting up, I grab it to see that it’s my dad. My brows come up as I lean on my knees, hitting answer.
“Hello?”
“Jude?”
“Yeah?”
“Hey, it’s your dad,” he says and his voice is short.
“Yeah, I know. I have caller ID. What’s up?”
“Always the smartass, but I don’t have time to scold you on that,” he says and I roll my eyes. “Did you talk to Ralph today?”
“I did.”
“Good, the teams are okay, I guess.”
I hate the way he does that. Make everything sound like crap when this is the biggest opportunity in the world. The NHL is what every hockey player wants, and he says it like it’s nothing. Like I’m playing for a rec league.
“Yeah, great teams even.”
“They aren’t the Wings though, or even the Bruins for that matter, but whatever. Maybe you’ll get traded.”
“I have time. They can still come for me.”
“Doubt it.”
Letting out a breath, I wonder why I even answer his calls. “Why did you call again?”
“To talk about the teams,” he says. “But if you’re busy, I’ll let you go.”
“It’s not that. It just seems like you’re being a jerk when your son is going into the NHL, and that seems a little insane to me.”
“I don’t see myself being a jerk, Jude Mitchell, I see it as pushing you. I want what is best for you, and the best is not those four teams.”
“That’s only your opinion. I think they are all Stanley Cup-winning teams. That’s awesome.”
“Maybe in your eyes, but I want more for you. Which reminds me–” he says before pausing “–are you still seeing that girl?”
My skin breaks out in gooseflesh. Why is he asking about Claire? “Claire,” I say, reminding him of her name. “Yes, I am.”
“Hmm. I don’t know about her. I feel like I know her from somewhere.”
“I don’t know how, but it doesn’t matter because she’s great, amazing. I love her.”
He scoffs. “What the hell do you know of love, Jude? Nothing. It’s not even a real thing.”
I pause, my heart clanking against my chest. “So you don’t love me? Mom, Jayden, Lucy, Angie, or Jace?”
“Of course I do, but that’s different. What you’re feeling right now is lust, and enjoy that, but don’t get all wrapped up in this girl to where your game starts to suffer. I’ll be watching you, Jude Mitchell. Don’t let her ruin you.”
I don’t know why I let him bother me, why I even care. But that pisses me off to the point of no return. Claire wouldn’t do that. She loves me. “She won’t ruin me. She’s changed me. Made me a better person.”
“You’re still the same person – you’re just trying to impress her for some ass, Jude. Don’t lie to me or yourself. You’re exactly like me. We aren’t made for that stuff and I got stuck. Don’t get stuck, and don’t tell your mother I said that. It’ll piss her off. I love your mother, but that took a long time for me to realize. Don’t make my mistakes. Go into the NHL, enjoy life, and leave her behind. She’ll hold you back.”
I feel like he’s kicked me in the gut. Who says this to their kid? Doesn’t he want me to be happy? “I have changed, Dad. I’m nowhere near the kind of person you are, and I know that loving someone is not a mistake. Not when they lift you up instead of holding you back. Don’t talk about Claire, my mother, or anyone I love like that. You are lucky to be loved by Mom ’cause God knows you don’t deserve it. I’m going to go into the NHL, and I’m going to do it with Claire beside me. I’m going to be the best player in the world ’cause not only am I a badass player but I’m loved by her.”
He laughs and it makes my skin crawl. “Keep dreaming, kid. You’ll end up with kids and a wife and no NHL in no time.”
I don’t even know what to say. I’m so hurt, so fucking mad. Ending the call, I drop my phone before falling onto my back and squeezing my eyes shut. I don’t know why I let him affect me. Why I even listen to him. He’s a fucking jerk. He doesn’t love me, or anyone but himself for that matter. When everyone realizes this – and leaves him – he’ll die an old, sad man with no one, while all of us are happy and loved. That thought alone has me calming down. His words are like rocks and meant to shatter me, but I won’t allow him that power. I know what I have. I know who I am and what I can accomplish. I can do anything I put my mind to, but with Claire encouraging and giving me her love, I can do it ten times better.
