Bound by Blood and Sand
Page 35
“I know what he…what he planned to do to you. That it wasn’t the first time. I can’t blame you for defending yourself,” Elan continued once he recovered. “Anyone would have, and no one civilized would ever take advantage of the Closest like Rannith did.”
“I doubt that, too.”
“It’s true. Rannith was a monster. No one else would even think to order someone to lie with them. The very idea is ridiculous. It’s as much as admitting that no one would want to, given the choice.”
Jae’s narrow-eyed expression didn’t waver. “I suppose that would be your concern. How embarrassing it would be to rape someone.”
“No! I didn’t mean—didn’t mean it like that,” he said hastily, not sure where he’d gone wrong. He only wanted to tell her that he understood. “It’s wrong, of course it’s wrong.” He paused, trying to think of a way to continue, but he found himself just staring at Jae. She was watching him back, not flinching from his gaze, all her features sharp and jagged, striking and fierce.
Looking at her like that, he could understand Rannith’s fascination with her, but the thought turned his stomach. “Does that…What Rannith did,” he said, not quite able to name it like she had, “does it happen often out here?”
“Yes.” Jae tipped her head back, as if she was considering him, then continued, “It’s not as if Tal wants to spend his nights at Lady Shirrad’s side. There’s no difference, except she’s kinder to him afterward.”
Elan shook his head a little. Not disagreeing, just amazed—appalled. “It isn’t like this at home,” he assured her. “We’re civilized there. No one in my father’s court would ever stoop to this.”
“Are you sure?” she asked him. She sounded sure that he was wrong.
“Yes,” he said.
Her eyebrows raised just a little, a slight smile tugging at her lips. It was eerily reminiscent of the way his father and Desinn looked at him, as if he was stupid. Which he wasn’t.
“No one in my father’s court abuses power like that,” he repeated.
“Of course they do,” she said. “And if you’ve never noticed, it’s because no one’s ever taken advantage of you.”
“Plenty of people have tried,” he said. “They want my favor. They’d use me if they could.”
“Just like you wanted to use me and my power to find the Well,” she said.
“I didn’t want to use— I mean…” He tapped his fingers against his leg. This was what he’d come to talk to her about. “Of course I wanted to use your power to find the Well, because that’s how to save Aredann. That’s what you wanted, too.”
“I wanted to do it without your interference,” she said.
“But we wanted the same thing. You were going to help—”
“You ordered me to help,” she interrupted, her voice sharp and thorny. “I had no choice, but now I do.”
“And that makes it more important than ever for you to see that we are on the same side,” he pressed.
“We will never be on the same side,” she said, voice stony. “You—your family—your whole caste are liars. The Well was never yours, and it never will be. I will never help you.”
Elan gaped at her, shaking his head slightly. “You have to know that that’s not true, that they didn’t…My ancestors would never have cast the Curse if that was true.”
She said nothing, but her expression spoke for her. She thought he was a fool. Naïve, like his father had called him before exiling him to Aredann. But she was wrong, she had to be wrong, no matter how much she believed what she said. Maybe the magic had driven her to madness, or maybe now that she was free of the Curse, she was determined to believe the Highest had been in the wrong during the War. But it didn’t matter what she believed, because now that she was free, he couldn’t order her to help—and he still needed her. The whole world needed her.
He took a moment to compose himself and finally said, “This isn’t just about Aredann. Other estates, other Closest, are being abandoned, too. If you can save Aredann, you can save them all.”
“I can do almost anything I want,” she said, and something like a smile flitted across her face. “And don’t bother to pretend that you care at all about the Closest—at Aredann or anywhere else. You were going to leave us all for dead.”
“But I didn’t want to! I never liked the idea,” Elan said, his gut twisting. It was true enough. Once he’d really thought about it, the idea had horrified him. He just hadn’t thought about it, not until she’d yelled at him. “But it’s what’s necessary—was necessary. Before you had magic. But now, now everything is different. All we have to do is convince my father of that.”
“We don’t have to do anything.”
“Yes, we…” He trailed off, regrouped, tried again. “You don’t know my father. You have magic—power—but he has power, too. He’ll think you’re a threat, but I can convince him you’re not.”
Jae let out a scoffing laugh. “But I am. You have no idea what kind of power I have. I will save Aredann, and if your father stands in my way, I will do to him exactly what I did to Rannith.”
It took him a moment to understand, for what she’d said to sink in. She could. If his father angered her or tried to stop her, she could really kill him. And of course his father would do anything to stop her. Even though allowing Jae to find the Well and save Aredann would benefit them all, his father wouldn’t stand for being threatened—and wouldn’t allow his decisions to be undermined. He’d all but disavowed Elan for even asking him if there was another way to end the drought. Having one of the Closest directly challenge him…He wouldn’t allow that. And when he tried to control Jae, she might very well kill him. That would only make things worse, not just for Elan’s family but for the world. It would cause a war.
If Elan’s father died, the other three Highest families would see the threat Jae posed to all of them. They’d send their guards to Aredann to stop her. Elan didn’t know how many people it would take to overwhelm Jae’s magic, but he did know that people would die in the process. A lot of them. But first, she’d kill his father.
“I doubt that, too.”
“It’s true. Rannith was a monster. No one else would even think to order someone to lie with them. The very idea is ridiculous. It’s as much as admitting that no one would want to, given the choice.”
Jae’s narrow-eyed expression didn’t waver. “I suppose that would be your concern. How embarrassing it would be to rape someone.”
“No! I didn’t mean—didn’t mean it like that,” he said hastily, not sure where he’d gone wrong. He only wanted to tell her that he understood. “It’s wrong, of course it’s wrong.” He paused, trying to think of a way to continue, but he found himself just staring at Jae. She was watching him back, not flinching from his gaze, all her features sharp and jagged, striking and fierce.
Looking at her like that, he could understand Rannith’s fascination with her, but the thought turned his stomach. “Does that…What Rannith did,” he said, not quite able to name it like she had, “does it happen often out here?”
“Yes.” Jae tipped her head back, as if she was considering him, then continued, “It’s not as if Tal wants to spend his nights at Lady Shirrad’s side. There’s no difference, except she’s kinder to him afterward.”
Elan shook his head a little. Not disagreeing, just amazed—appalled. “It isn’t like this at home,” he assured her. “We’re civilized there. No one in my father’s court would ever stoop to this.”
“Are you sure?” she asked him. She sounded sure that he was wrong.
“Yes,” he said.
Her eyebrows raised just a little, a slight smile tugging at her lips. It was eerily reminiscent of the way his father and Desinn looked at him, as if he was stupid. Which he wasn’t.
“No one in my father’s court abuses power like that,” he repeated.
“Of course they do,” she said. “And if you’ve never noticed, it’s because no one’s ever taken advantage of you.”
“Plenty of people have tried,” he said. “They want my favor. They’d use me if they could.”
“Just like you wanted to use me and my power to find the Well,” she said.
“I didn’t want to use— I mean…” He tapped his fingers against his leg. This was what he’d come to talk to her about. “Of course I wanted to use your power to find the Well, because that’s how to save Aredann. That’s what you wanted, too.”
“I wanted to do it without your interference,” she said.
“But we wanted the same thing. You were going to help—”
“You ordered me to help,” she interrupted, her voice sharp and thorny. “I had no choice, but now I do.”
“And that makes it more important than ever for you to see that we are on the same side,” he pressed.
“We will never be on the same side,” she said, voice stony. “You—your family—your whole caste are liars. The Well was never yours, and it never will be. I will never help you.”
Elan gaped at her, shaking his head slightly. “You have to know that that’s not true, that they didn’t…My ancestors would never have cast the Curse if that was true.”
She said nothing, but her expression spoke for her. She thought he was a fool. Naïve, like his father had called him before exiling him to Aredann. But she was wrong, she had to be wrong, no matter how much she believed what she said. Maybe the magic had driven her to madness, or maybe now that she was free of the Curse, she was determined to believe the Highest had been in the wrong during the War. But it didn’t matter what she believed, because now that she was free, he couldn’t order her to help—and he still needed her. The whole world needed her.
He took a moment to compose himself and finally said, “This isn’t just about Aredann. Other estates, other Closest, are being abandoned, too. If you can save Aredann, you can save them all.”
“I can do almost anything I want,” she said, and something like a smile flitted across her face. “And don’t bother to pretend that you care at all about the Closest—at Aredann or anywhere else. You were going to leave us all for dead.”
“But I didn’t want to! I never liked the idea,” Elan said, his gut twisting. It was true enough. Once he’d really thought about it, the idea had horrified him. He just hadn’t thought about it, not until she’d yelled at him. “But it’s what’s necessary—was necessary. Before you had magic. But now, now everything is different. All we have to do is convince my father of that.”
“We don’t have to do anything.”
“Yes, we…” He trailed off, regrouped, tried again. “You don’t know my father. You have magic—power—but he has power, too. He’ll think you’re a threat, but I can convince him you’re not.”
Jae let out a scoffing laugh. “But I am. You have no idea what kind of power I have. I will save Aredann, and if your father stands in my way, I will do to him exactly what I did to Rannith.”
It took him a moment to understand, for what she’d said to sink in. She could. If his father angered her or tried to stop her, she could really kill him. And of course his father would do anything to stop her. Even though allowing Jae to find the Well and save Aredann would benefit them all, his father wouldn’t stand for being threatened—and wouldn’t allow his decisions to be undermined. He’d all but disavowed Elan for even asking him if there was another way to end the drought. Having one of the Closest directly challenge him…He wouldn’t allow that. And when he tried to control Jae, she might very well kill him. That would only make things worse, not just for Elan’s family but for the world. It would cause a war.
If Elan’s father died, the other three Highest families would see the threat Jae posed to all of them. They’d send their guards to Aredann to stop her. Elan didn’t know how many people it would take to overwhelm Jae’s magic, but he did know that people would die in the process. A lot of them. But first, she’d kill his father.
