Bound by Blood and Sand
Page 44
“Only because he’s never had the chance. He’s a Closest, with traitors’ blood. Do not be squeamish when it comes to your vows—or your duty. I will not have a warden who won’t do his job.”
“Yes, sir.” As a warden, he’d sworn to uphold his father’s will, which in turn protected the world. Nothing else was supposed to matter. Not even the truth. And it was better that the unrest end here and now, with his father controlling Jae and the Well both, for the good of everyone.
Everyone except the Closest, because they were schemers and liars. Traitors, just like their ancestors had been.
Just like his ancestors had been.
He hung his head, not able to look at his father anymore, bowed over by the weight of history and lies and vows.
—
Elthis, his stewards, Lady Shirrad and her Avowed advisors, and Elan all met in the larger study midmorning the next day to discuss preparations for the trek to the Well and for Aredann’s abandonment. Elan sat near his father at the head of the table. One of the stewards was taking careful notes, listing everything they’d need for the trip into the desert, as all Shirrad’s advisors offered their expertise. Shirrad herself sat at the other end of the table, nearly silent, her painted lips pulled down at the corners.
She knew the truth, too. And she must have realized what Elan had, that Jae could save Aredann—her home. But instead Lady Shirrad would be forced to leave it behind, sent away to live on someone else’s estate. At Aredann, she was the most important Avowed, its guardian, the highest authority outside of Elthis and Elan himself. Soon she’d be just another member of someone’s court, holding no particular power or respect, too young to be taken seriously but old enough to be seen as a failure.
Desinn was at Elthis’s other side, which meant Tal sat shadowed in a corner, still, silent, and alone. His hair was wild around his face, too short for him to bind anymore, and when Elan glanced at him, he wondered if that was what Jae would look like if she allowed her hair to grow out. Their features were similar enough, after all, with high cheekbones and sharp noses, and now that Tal was no longer smiling, the resemblance was even more obvious.
Jae herself wasn’t there. She hadn’t left the master room since the previous night, and though she’d let that other Closest girl in with food and clean clothes, no one else had checked on her. Elan knew he should, but he couldn’t stand the thought of how she’d look at him, knowing he knew the truth but wouldn’t do anything about it.
Elan shivered, something cold building in his core as he thought about leaving Aredann to turn to dust. Not just for the sake of the Closest who’d die, but because if there was any proof of the truth, it had to be here. If there were any more mysteries in the estate’s mosaics and garden, no one would ever discover them. If there was any more magic…
Jae’s magic and her history were all tied up together, and tied to this place. Jae and her magic, Aredann and the Well, were all a tangled rope that was now starting to fray, one his father would never allow to come undone. It was the rope that tied their world together.
As the afternoon hour grew later, Elthis finally seemed satisfied with their plans, and dismissed most of the observers to go on with their evening. He motioned to Desinn as he stood. “I’ll be in the private study, preparing letters to send to the other Highest. Elan, you will keep an eye on…” He nodded sideways at Tal’s corner. “And do not flinch from your duty.”
“Yes, Father,” Elan agreed, still not able to look directly at Elthis as he spoke.
Elthis and Desinn strode out, which left Elan alone with Shirrad and Tal. She stood and wiped her face. When she dropped her hand, a black smear covered her cheek, and her eyes were rimmed with red.
“Lady,” Elan murmured. “I’m so sorry about Aredann. About—everything.”
She took an audible breath. “I’m grateful for your father’s kindness and his wisdom.”
He met her gaze. She was even more helpless than he was. “I know,” Elan said. “But I’m still sorry. You worked hard to keep Aredann alive for so long, and I…I can’t imagine losing my home, or…”
She started to answer, but pressed her hand to her mouth instead as fat tears began to fall. She sank back onto her cushion, turning away from him, her breath coming in gasps and pants. “I’ll lose everything,” she finally managed. “Everything.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, but before he could think of a reply, Tal was on his feet. He walked to Shirrad, placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t shake him off, didn’t order him to do anything at all, and he began to slowly rub her back. Elan watched, amazed, as she turned toward him to bury her face in his side. He stroked her hair, put an arm around her.
No one had given him any order. She hadn’t demanded this of him. And when she had said she would lose everything…She’d lose Tal, too. Just like Jae would.
She cared for him—and he seemed to care for her, too. Even though she’d had to stand there helplessly as his life had been threatened, as the rest of the Closest had been condemned. Maybe she didn’t care for every Closest like this, but she was responsible for them.
“Tal,” Elan said softly. Tal looked up at him, eyes wide and scared, but Elan forced himself to smile as kindly as he could. “It’s all right. I only wanted to say, you may speak. If you wish to. That’s all.”
“Thank you,” Tal mumbled, and pulled a cushion over to Shirrad’s side. Elan looked away from them, embarrassed to see something obviously not meant for his eyes, but given his father’s order, he couldn’t leave. So he listened but didn’t watch as Tal said, “Don’t worry for me, Lady. You’ve done all you can, I know you have. I will swear to it when they ask me.”
They. The other Closest. If Tal even got to see them again.
“Can you ever forgive me?” Shirrad asked.
“Yes, Lady. You tried to save Aredann. You’ve tried for years.”
“Is there anything else I can do to help you?” she asked.
Elan glanced up and saw their hands linked together on the table.
“I…I don’t know, Lady. I’d like a chance to see Jae before she leaves. But…” He glanced over at Elan. “I don’t know if that can happen.”
Elan’s father wouldn’t want that. The farther Elthis could keep them from each other, the easier they would be to control. But if his father was willing to keep secrets, so was Elan, especially since this small kindness was the only one he could grant them. “It can. I’ll see to it. But not just now. My father might ask where you are, might come looking for me. Later, after he’s gone to sleep.”
“Yes, sir.” As a warden, he’d sworn to uphold his father’s will, which in turn protected the world. Nothing else was supposed to matter. Not even the truth. And it was better that the unrest end here and now, with his father controlling Jae and the Well both, for the good of everyone.
Everyone except the Closest, because they were schemers and liars. Traitors, just like their ancestors had been.
Just like his ancestors had been.
He hung his head, not able to look at his father anymore, bowed over by the weight of history and lies and vows.
—
Elthis, his stewards, Lady Shirrad and her Avowed advisors, and Elan all met in the larger study midmorning the next day to discuss preparations for the trek to the Well and for Aredann’s abandonment. Elan sat near his father at the head of the table. One of the stewards was taking careful notes, listing everything they’d need for the trip into the desert, as all Shirrad’s advisors offered their expertise. Shirrad herself sat at the other end of the table, nearly silent, her painted lips pulled down at the corners.
She knew the truth, too. And she must have realized what Elan had, that Jae could save Aredann—her home. But instead Lady Shirrad would be forced to leave it behind, sent away to live on someone else’s estate. At Aredann, she was the most important Avowed, its guardian, the highest authority outside of Elthis and Elan himself. Soon she’d be just another member of someone’s court, holding no particular power or respect, too young to be taken seriously but old enough to be seen as a failure.
Desinn was at Elthis’s other side, which meant Tal sat shadowed in a corner, still, silent, and alone. His hair was wild around his face, too short for him to bind anymore, and when Elan glanced at him, he wondered if that was what Jae would look like if she allowed her hair to grow out. Their features were similar enough, after all, with high cheekbones and sharp noses, and now that Tal was no longer smiling, the resemblance was even more obvious.
Jae herself wasn’t there. She hadn’t left the master room since the previous night, and though she’d let that other Closest girl in with food and clean clothes, no one else had checked on her. Elan knew he should, but he couldn’t stand the thought of how she’d look at him, knowing he knew the truth but wouldn’t do anything about it.
Elan shivered, something cold building in his core as he thought about leaving Aredann to turn to dust. Not just for the sake of the Closest who’d die, but because if there was any proof of the truth, it had to be here. If there were any more mysteries in the estate’s mosaics and garden, no one would ever discover them. If there was any more magic…
Jae’s magic and her history were all tied up together, and tied to this place. Jae and her magic, Aredann and the Well, were all a tangled rope that was now starting to fray, one his father would never allow to come undone. It was the rope that tied their world together.
As the afternoon hour grew later, Elthis finally seemed satisfied with their plans, and dismissed most of the observers to go on with their evening. He motioned to Desinn as he stood. “I’ll be in the private study, preparing letters to send to the other Highest. Elan, you will keep an eye on…” He nodded sideways at Tal’s corner. “And do not flinch from your duty.”
“Yes, Father,” Elan agreed, still not able to look directly at Elthis as he spoke.
Elthis and Desinn strode out, which left Elan alone with Shirrad and Tal. She stood and wiped her face. When she dropped her hand, a black smear covered her cheek, and her eyes were rimmed with red.
“Lady,” Elan murmured. “I’m so sorry about Aredann. About—everything.”
She took an audible breath. “I’m grateful for your father’s kindness and his wisdom.”
He met her gaze. She was even more helpless than he was. “I know,” Elan said. “But I’m still sorry. You worked hard to keep Aredann alive for so long, and I…I can’t imagine losing my home, or…”
She started to answer, but pressed her hand to her mouth instead as fat tears began to fall. She sank back onto her cushion, turning away from him, her breath coming in gasps and pants. “I’ll lose everything,” she finally managed. “Everything.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, but before he could think of a reply, Tal was on his feet. He walked to Shirrad, placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t shake him off, didn’t order him to do anything at all, and he began to slowly rub her back. Elan watched, amazed, as she turned toward him to bury her face in his side. He stroked her hair, put an arm around her.
No one had given him any order. She hadn’t demanded this of him. And when she had said she would lose everything…She’d lose Tal, too. Just like Jae would.
She cared for him—and he seemed to care for her, too. Even though she’d had to stand there helplessly as his life had been threatened, as the rest of the Closest had been condemned. Maybe she didn’t care for every Closest like this, but she was responsible for them.
“Tal,” Elan said softly. Tal looked up at him, eyes wide and scared, but Elan forced himself to smile as kindly as he could. “It’s all right. I only wanted to say, you may speak. If you wish to. That’s all.”
“Thank you,” Tal mumbled, and pulled a cushion over to Shirrad’s side. Elan looked away from them, embarrassed to see something obviously not meant for his eyes, but given his father’s order, he couldn’t leave. So he listened but didn’t watch as Tal said, “Don’t worry for me, Lady. You’ve done all you can, I know you have. I will swear to it when they ask me.”
They. The other Closest. If Tal even got to see them again.
“Can you ever forgive me?” Shirrad asked.
“Yes, Lady. You tried to save Aredann. You’ve tried for years.”
“Is there anything else I can do to help you?” she asked.
Elan glanced up and saw their hands linked together on the table.
“I…I don’t know, Lady. I’d like a chance to see Jae before she leaves. But…” He glanced over at Elan. “I don’t know if that can happen.”
Elan’s father wouldn’t want that. The farther Elthis could keep them from each other, the easier they would be to control. But if his father was willing to keep secrets, so was Elan, especially since this small kindness was the only one he could grant them. “It can. I’ll see to it. But not just now. My father might ask where you are, might come looking for me. Later, after he’s gone to sleep.”
