Boys South of the Mason Dixon
Page 26
The front door opened and Dixie stepped outside wearing a pair of cutoff jeans and a plaid shirt that was tied in a knot, her stomach visible for an inch or two. My heart began beating rapidly. She was barefoot and looked exactly like every southern boy’s fantasy. Any boy’s fantasy. “Hey,” she said with the tiniest of smiles. She didn’t look like she was hurting. None of the pain I’d seen in her eyes two days back was there anymore. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I didn’t want her hurting, but I also hoped she loved me enough to hurt from our break-up.
“How are you?” I asked, searching her face.
She shrugged. “Good. Better. I talked to my daddy.”
The way she said “my daddy” with relief in her voice told me her father had cleared the air of the lies that we all had believed.
“So you know the truth, then?” I asked.
She frowned. Blew through her lips. “Yeah, but it isn’t what Asher thinks.”
I nodded. “We know. Momma told us.”
Dixie’s eyes went wide and she glanced toward our house. “Oh, really, when?”
“Two mornings ago. I would’ve been here sooner, but we all kinda needed some time . . . to deal . . . you know?”
She turned her eyes back to me. The sudden sadness in them made me want to kick myself. Why did I tell her I’d known for two days without coming to her? How stupid was that of me?
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, “so sorry.”
She forced a smile and shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I also knew and didn’t come to you. I just . . .” she paused and nervously swallowed. “Never mind. I’m not making sense. It’s been a crazy few days, I guess.”
“Yeah, it has,” I agreed. I then reached out to take her hand in mine. “But I never stopped loving you. I loved you even when I thought it was wrong. I couldn’t turn that off.”
She drew inward, tensed, her gaze flicking back toward my house again. I knew then that this was about Asher. She was waiting on him, which was what I should’ve expected. I should’ve known this would happen. He was the one she’d lost and never gotten over. It was written all over her face.
“I waited on him,” I told her. “He’s the reason I didn’t come until now. I was giving him a chance to come to you. But he came to me this morning and told me to come see you. Not to make you wait. That I loved you more than he ever could and you deserved that. Not him.”
The pain in her eyes intensified and I wanted to roar at the unfairness. Why did Dixie have to do this to me? I’d waited on her, been faithful to her because I loved her and wanted it to work. Why did she have to want him more? He’d sent me. He’d let her go.
I was here. He wasn’t.
“Oh,” she said, unable to look up. She studied her hands instead.
Just a fucking “oh.”
“Dixie, do you still want this? Us?” I asked, willing her to at least look at me. To give me something, any damn thing.
Finally, she raised her gaze and asked, “Steel, do you want this?”
Did she even have to ask? “More than anything, Dixie.”
She didn’t respond right away. Instead, she waited a few moments, before releasing the softest of sighs. “Okay, yes, I want this, too.”
Relief washed over me. I wanted to pound my chest. I’d won. Dixie was mine. Dixie Monroe was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever laid eyes on and she’d chosen me over my brother.
“I’ll make you happy, Dixie. Baby, I swear.”
She nodded, took a step toward me, laying her head on my chest. This was what I’d needed. What I wanted more than anything else. I could do without sex until she was ready. Just knowing that one day Dixie Monroe would share my bed made everything better. For now.
Dixie Monroe
THE FOLLOWING WEEK, I saw Steel every day. But I never saw Asher. Not once. His truck was parked outside by the pump house, but when I came by, he never came around. I didn’t ask and Steel didn’t mention it. I felt like Steel was waiting on me to ask, and if I did, I would’ve failed some test of sorts.
Scarlet said to let go of the past, but I didn’t know how to do that. Asher was more than just my past. He was a part of me. He owned a piece of my heart, possibly the biggest one of them all. You couldn’t just ignore that because people told you to do so. Even if he didn’t fight for us to be together, my heart didn’t care, and the pain I felt from knowing that was unbearable still.
He still had the power to make me drop everything and go running to him with a crook of his finger. He still had that much hold over me. Though, it felt as if he were gone again. Scarlet said she’d seen him two days ago working in the barn with Bray doing some renovations. He was laughing and seemed less preoccupied than he’d been in the past three years. I was glad he wasn’t living with the darkness that had eaten at him for so long. But I missed him. I wanted to see him like this. See the old Asher again.
“Damn, he’s at it again,” Steel muttered, drawing me from my thoughts. I turned to look what he was frowning at. I saw the back of Brent’s head and the familiar red curls belonging to my best friend in the back of Bray’s truck. I shook my head. Did they think parking out there was an actual hiding place?
“I swear, Bray can’t get a full day of work in without getting him some.”
I began to tell Steel it wasn’t Bray, that it was Brent, but I stopped and looked again, squinting over the field. The sun and distance made it hard to see. That was definitely Scarlet’s red hair. I would have known it anywhere. And that had to be Brent. She was attracted to Bray, but she wouldn’t . . . actually sleep with him. She wouldn’t. Would she?
“You want burgers for lunch or seafood? I’m good with either, starved through the gut,” Steel said, snapping my gaze from Bray’s truck. He didn’t seem to notice that was Scarlet and until I knew what was going on, I wouldn’t point that out to him.
“Uh . . . seafood is good,” I replied.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent Scarlet a hopeful text: Please tell me that was Brent? She’d know what I meant.
“Another reason I love you. We think alike. Let’s go,” Steel said, turning and laughing. I smiled back at him, but the words wouldn’t come. Telling Steel I loved him seemed wrong, especially now. I wasn’t sure if I loved him like he loved me. Steel was good to me. Would’ve fought for me. I had to keep reminding myself of that daily.
I listened to Steel talk about the barn and all the renovations they were going to do. I didn’t even wince when he said Asher’s name, complaining that Asher was getting a job this summer working for Denver Watson, at the local Feed and Seed. He didn’t understand why Asher couldn’t help them work the family farm. I wanted to tell him that Asher knew they needed more money and the only way to get that was to work for someone else.
Instead, I asked, “What does your momma think?”
He rolled his eyes. “Momma thinks Asher hung the moon. You know that. She’s so glad he’s home for the summer, she’ll agree with whatever he does.”
“Or maybe she knows that Asher could make more to help pay the bills by working for someone else.” Arguing with Steel was one thing. Defending Asher was another entirely. I knew it and I did it anyway. It was as if I couldn’t control my mouth. I said those words without being able to stop them from pouring out.
“How are you?” I asked, searching her face.
She shrugged. “Good. Better. I talked to my daddy.”
The way she said “my daddy” with relief in her voice told me her father had cleared the air of the lies that we all had believed.
“So you know the truth, then?” I asked.
She frowned. Blew through her lips. “Yeah, but it isn’t what Asher thinks.”
I nodded. “We know. Momma told us.”
Dixie’s eyes went wide and she glanced toward our house. “Oh, really, when?”
“Two mornings ago. I would’ve been here sooner, but we all kinda needed some time . . . to deal . . . you know?”
She turned her eyes back to me. The sudden sadness in them made me want to kick myself. Why did I tell her I’d known for two days without coming to her? How stupid was that of me?
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, “so sorry.”
She forced a smile and shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I also knew and didn’t come to you. I just . . .” she paused and nervously swallowed. “Never mind. I’m not making sense. It’s been a crazy few days, I guess.”
“Yeah, it has,” I agreed. I then reached out to take her hand in mine. “But I never stopped loving you. I loved you even when I thought it was wrong. I couldn’t turn that off.”
She drew inward, tensed, her gaze flicking back toward my house again. I knew then that this was about Asher. She was waiting on him, which was what I should’ve expected. I should’ve known this would happen. He was the one she’d lost and never gotten over. It was written all over her face.
“I waited on him,” I told her. “He’s the reason I didn’t come until now. I was giving him a chance to come to you. But he came to me this morning and told me to come see you. Not to make you wait. That I loved you more than he ever could and you deserved that. Not him.”
The pain in her eyes intensified and I wanted to roar at the unfairness. Why did Dixie have to do this to me? I’d waited on her, been faithful to her because I loved her and wanted it to work. Why did she have to want him more? He’d sent me. He’d let her go.
I was here. He wasn’t.
“Oh,” she said, unable to look up. She studied her hands instead.
Just a fucking “oh.”
“Dixie, do you still want this? Us?” I asked, willing her to at least look at me. To give me something, any damn thing.
Finally, she raised her gaze and asked, “Steel, do you want this?”
Did she even have to ask? “More than anything, Dixie.”
She didn’t respond right away. Instead, she waited a few moments, before releasing the softest of sighs. “Okay, yes, I want this, too.”
Relief washed over me. I wanted to pound my chest. I’d won. Dixie was mine. Dixie Monroe was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever laid eyes on and she’d chosen me over my brother.
“I’ll make you happy, Dixie. Baby, I swear.”
She nodded, took a step toward me, laying her head on my chest. This was what I’d needed. What I wanted more than anything else. I could do without sex until she was ready. Just knowing that one day Dixie Monroe would share my bed made everything better. For now.
Dixie Monroe
THE FOLLOWING WEEK, I saw Steel every day. But I never saw Asher. Not once. His truck was parked outside by the pump house, but when I came by, he never came around. I didn’t ask and Steel didn’t mention it. I felt like Steel was waiting on me to ask, and if I did, I would’ve failed some test of sorts.
Scarlet said to let go of the past, but I didn’t know how to do that. Asher was more than just my past. He was a part of me. He owned a piece of my heart, possibly the biggest one of them all. You couldn’t just ignore that because people told you to do so. Even if he didn’t fight for us to be together, my heart didn’t care, and the pain I felt from knowing that was unbearable still.
He still had the power to make me drop everything and go running to him with a crook of his finger. He still had that much hold over me. Though, it felt as if he were gone again. Scarlet said she’d seen him two days ago working in the barn with Bray doing some renovations. He was laughing and seemed less preoccupied than he’d been in the past three years. I was glad he wasn’t living with the darkness that had eaten at him for so long. But I missed him. I wanted to see him like this. See the old Asher again.
“Damn, he’s at it again,” Steel muttered, drawing me from my thoughts. I turned to look what he was frowning at. I saw the back of Brent’s head and the familiar red curls belonging to my best friend in the back of Bray’s truck. I shook my head. Did they think parking out there was an actual hiding place?
“I swear, Bray can’t get a full day of work in without getting him some.”
I began to tell Steel it wasn’t Bray, that it was Brent, but I stopped and looked again, squinting over the field. The sun and distance made it hard to see. That was definitely Scarlet’s red hair. I would have known it anywhere. And that had to be Brent. She was attracted to Bray, but she wouldn’t . . . actually sleep with him. She wouldn’t. Would she?
“You want burgers for lunch or seafood? I’m good with either, starved through the gut,” Steel said, snapping my gaze from Bray’s truck. He didn’t seem to notice that was Scarlet and until I knew what was going on, I wouldn’t point that out to him.
“Uh . . . seafood is good,” I replied.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and sent Scarlet a hopeful text: Please tell me that was Brent? She’d know what I meant.
“Another reason I love you. We think alike. Let’s go,” Steel said, turning and laughing. I smiled back at him, but the words wouldn’t come. Telling Steel I loved him seemed wrong, especially now. I wasn’t sure if I loved him like he loved me. Steel was good to me. Would’ve fought for me. I had to keep reminding myself of that daily.
I listened to Steel talk about the barn and all the renovations they were going to do. I didn’t even wince when he said Asher’s name, complaining that Asher was getting a job this summer working for Denver Watson, at the local Feed and Seed. He didn’t understand why Asher couldn’t help them work the family farm. I wanted to tell him that Asher knew they needed more money and the only way to get that was to work for someone else.
Instead, I asked, “What does your momma think?”
He rolled his eyes. “Momma thinks Asher hung the moon. You know that. She’s so glad he’s home for the summer, she’ll agree with whatever he does.”
“Or maybe she knows that Asher could make more to help pay the bills by working for someone else.” Arguing with Steel was one thing. Defending Asher was another entirely. I knew it and I did it anyway. It was as if I couldn’t control my mouth. I said those words without being able to stop them from pouring out.
