Boys South of the Mason Dixon
Page 38
I sat up and wrapped my arms around his waist. He’d regret this now. I knew him well enough to expect that. Before he could do that, I needed him to hold me one last time. His arms enveloped my frame and we stayed like that longer than I’d hoped. And when he finally pulled back, I didn’t need to look into his eyes to know it was all over.
“I’ve never felt that connected to anyone. Never will,” he said, his honesty surprising me. “I can’t . . . not now . . . not with Steel the way he is. Dixie, there can’t be more than this.”
I replying tenderly, “I know.”
He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on mine, “I love you, Dixie Monroe.”
This was when I should have told him the same. But I’d already done that, and it’d changed nothing between us. I said instead, “I come here most nights.”
He stilled. I waited as he thought that through. He then replied, “Not sure I can resist that.”
“Good. I’m glad you can’t.”
I wanted more of this. If it was all we could have, I was okay with that. My body was still humming from the pleasure, the addictive experience of having sex with Asher feeling like a pain killing narcotic.
He then added, “If we do that, I’m afraid I won’t know how to stop.”
“Good. I’m glad you can’t resist me,” I teased.
He laughed, his arms tightening around me. “I’d have probably cracked before now if you’d told me to fuck you like that. My dick has never been that hard. The sound of your sweet voice asking me that . . . it’s a damn miracle I didn’t throw you on the grass and gone at it right there like an animal.”
“Next time, maybe try that. I’ll even get on all fours for you.” I knew I was taunting him. But the image of him behind me made my tender spots begin to tingle again.
“Dix, don’t say shit like that after the pounding I just gave you. You’re gonna be sore and all I can think about is doing it over and over.”
I wanted him to think about me all day tomorrow. To be as crazed with lust as I would be by the time he got here. I let my hands fall as I sat back, “You’re right. I need to get home.”
He sighed, got out of the truck, before reaching for my hand to help me out. His gaze shifted to my body where he’d released all over me, while my eyes traveled to his penis which was once again hard and erect.
“I’ll clean you up,” he said, finding his shirt where he’d tossed it in the grass. I stood and let him wipe me down, knowing he wanted more. I was leaving Asher Sutton wanting me.
“Get dressed,” he said, his tone sharp. I turned away before he caught me smiling. I took my time, looking over my shoulder, always finding him watching me.
“I’ll see you later,” I told him, heading for the path that wound up to my house.
“That’s it? Not even a goodnight kiss?”
I stopped and flashed Asher a big teasing grin, “If there’s a kiss goodnight, I’ll most likely beg you to fuck me from behind.”
He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled. Blew a long breath into the darkness, “Dixie Monroe, you’re gonna kill me.”
“Night, Asher,” was all I said. I hurried along the path, letting myself fully absorb the reality of what we’d decided to do. What we had was no longer a fairytale. It would end and I’d be destroyed once more. But for now, Asher was mine. A small part of him belonged to me again. A part I could feel and touch, and that had to be enough.
Asher Sutton
I WASN’T SURE if, in the light of day, I’d end up regretting last night with Dixie. I knew Steel would be hurt if he found out. After yesterday and the way he’d yelled at me, I knew he’d be furious. It would most probably go to fists, with me just blocking his punches. I couldn’t hit Steel, I wouldn’t hurt him that way, too. Too much pain had been shared between the three of us already.
It was different yet the same with Bray, Brent and Scarlet. They had all hurt each other because what one of them had with her was stronger than what the other could ever have. They’d lied. They’d cheated. We hadn’t done that to one another, only our hearts had.
I’d been selfless for years, ever since I found those damn letters. I’d made sure to protect everyone while I broke into a million pieces. That was over. The truth was out. Dixie had ended it with Steel. Why did I have to keep pushing her away? How was that fair to anybody? I hadn’t dropped her and then decided I wanted her back just because my brother was with her. Hell, Steel hadn’t even asked me how I felt about him dating Dixie. He kept it from me for a year. He’d not once considered how I felt. And when the truth finally came out, he didn’t even care about how it affected me. He was only worried about himself and his relationship with Dixie. I would’ve never fucking done the same to him. We were brothers, but we were all so different.
Since dad had died, I’d been the one to make sure the others were okay. They relied on me, expected me to be there for them, but now, we were all fucking grown men. It was my turn to make a decision that would put my happiness first. I couldn’t imagine my life without Dixie in it. Even when I’d tried, her face had always been there, following me into my dreams. We’d lost three years, both been hurt and scarred, but maybe we could find a way to heal together.
Dixie deserved more from me. She wanted me to fight for her, to choose her over others, something I didn’t understand at first, but now I did more than ever before. I loved my brothers, but they weren’t little boys anymore. I didn’t always have to put their needs and wants first—we were all adults now, or almost.
Steel was hurting and I had to give him time. Once his anger had run its course and he was ready to listen, I’d talk to him about Dixie, which was more than he’d done for me. If he’d asked me beforehand, I’d have never allowed him to start a relationship with her only because of the letters, not because I did not want them to be happy. But now, things had changed and the happiness of the only woman I’d ever loved was at stake. It was time for me to put Dixie first.
As I exited the attic and walked down the hall, I heard Bray and Dallas laughing in the kitchen. I hadn’t expected Bray to be up, much less laughing. He’d stayed away for days, kept his distance, but now he seemed to be acting normal again. He hadn’t faced Brent yet, though. We all knew that was coming. We’d all been waiting. I doubted Brent or Steel had made it home already. If they had, they’d still be hungover in bed until Momma banged a pot with a spoon in their room to wake them up. Or a glass of ice water would be thrown in their faces like she’d done so many times before.
“Y’all sure are in good moods this early,” I said, heading straight for the coffee on the counter. I didn’t want to make a big deal of Bray’s being out of his room.
“Norton adopted a wild mustang. You should see that thing twist and buck. It’s feral. Crazy as hell.” Dallas replied, as if this was a good reason to be so happy in the morning.
Bray spoke then. “They’re gonna break him. Attempt to break him. But I’ll believe it when I see it. I already told Norton I ain’t getting on the thing. That bastard will put your dick in the dirt.”
I figured that was a sound decision. “Reckon it’d be dumb to try. Never seen a wild mustang, but I hear they can be dangerous. Not meant for joy riding.”
“I’ve never felt that connected to anyone. Never will,” he said, his honesty surprising me. “I can’t . . . not now . . . not with Steel the way he is. Dixie, there can’t be more than this.”
I replying tenderly, “I know.”
He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on mine, “I love you, Dixie Monroe.”
This was when I should have told him the same. But I’d already done that, and it’d changed nothing between us. I said instead, “I come here most nights.”
He stilled. I waited as he thought that through. He then replied, “Not sure I can resist that.”
“Good. I’m glad you can’t.”
I wanted more of this. If it was all we could have, I was okay with that. My body was still humming from the pleasure, the addictive experience of having sex with Asher feeling like a pain killing narcotic.
He then added, “If we do that, I’m afraid I won’t know how to stop.”
“Good. I’m glad you can’t resist me,” I teased.
He laughed, his arms tightening around me. “I’d have probably cracked before now if you’d told me to fuck you like that. My dick has never been that hard. The sound of your sweet voice asking me that . . . it’s a damn miracle I didn’t throw you on the grass and gone at it right there like an animal.”
“Next time, maybe try that. I’ll even get on all fours for you.” I knew I was taunting him. But the image of him behind me made my tender spots begin to tingle again.
“Dix, don’t say shit like that after the pounding I just gave you. You’re gonna be sore and all I can think about is doing it over and over.”
I wanted him to think about me all day tomorrow. To be as crazed with lust as I would be by the time he got here. I let my hands fall as I sat back, “You’re right. I need to get home.”
He sighed, got out of the truck, before reaching for my hand to help me out. His gaze shifted to my body where he’d released all over me, while my eyes traveled to his penis which was once again hard and erect.
“I’ll clean you up,” he said, finding his shirt where he’d tossed it in the grass. I stood and let him wipe me down, knowing he wanted more. I was leaving Asher Sutton wanting me.
“Get dressed,” he said, his tone sharp. I turned away before he caught me smiling. I took my time, looking over my shoulder, always finding him watching me.
“I’ll see you later,” I told him, heading for the path that wound up to my house.
“That’s it? Not even a goodnight kiss?”
I stopped and flashed Asher a big teasing grin, “If there’s a kiss goodnight, I’ll most likely beg you to fuck me from behind.”
He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled. Blew a long breath into the darkness, “Dixie Monroe, you’re gonna kill me.”
“Night, Asher,” was all I said. I hurried along the path, letting myself fully absorb the reality of what we’d decided to do. What we had was no longer a fairytale. It would end and I’d be destroyed once more. But for now, Asher was mine. A small part of him belonged to me again. A part I could feel and touch, and that had to be enough.
Asher Sutton
I WASN’T SURE if, in the light of day, I’d end up regretting last night with Dixie. I knew Steel would be hurt if he found out. After yesterday and the way he’d yelled at me, I knew he’d be furious. It would most probably go to fists, with me just blocking his punches. I couldn’t hit Steel, I wouldn’t hurt him that way, too. Too much pain had been shared between the three of us already.
It was different yet the same with Bray, Brent and Scarlet. They had all hurt each other because what one of them had with her was stronger than what the other could ever have. They’d lied. They’d cheated. We hadn’t done that to one another, only our hearts had.
I’d been selfless for years, ever since I found those damn letters. I’d made sure to protect everyone while I broke into a million pieces. That was over. The truth was out. Dixie had ended it with Steel. Why did I have to keep pushing her away? How was that fair to anybody? I hadn’t dropped her and then decided I wanted her back just because my brother was with her. Hell, Steel hadn’t even asked me how I felt about him dating Dixie. He kept it from me for a year. He’d not once considered how I felt. And when the truth finally came out, he didn’t even care about how it affected me. He was only worried about himself and his relationship with Dixie. I would’ve never fucking done the same to him. We were brothers, but we were all so different.
Since dad had died, I’d been the one to make sure the others were okay. They relied on me, expected me to be there for them, but now, we were all fucking grown men. It was my turn to make a decision that would put my happiness first. I couldn’t imagine my life without Dixie in it. Even when I’d tried, her face had always been there, following me into my dreams. We’d lost three years, both been hurt and scarred, but maybe we could find a way to heal together.
Dixie deserved more from me. She wanted me to fight for her, to choose her over others, something I didn’t understand at first, but now I did more than ever before. I loved my brothers, but they weren’t little boys anymore. I didn’t always have to put their needs and wants first—we were all adults now, or almost.
Steel was hurting and I had to give him time. Once his anger had run its course and he was ready to listen, I’d talk to him about Dixie, which was more than he’d done for me. If he’d asked me beforehand, I’d have never allowed him to start a relationship with her only because of the letters, not because I did not want them to be happy. But now, things had changed and the happiness of the only woman I’d ever loved was at stake. It was time for me to put Dixie first.
As I exited the attic and walked down the hall, I heard Bray and Dallas laughing in the kitchen. I hadn’t expected Bray to be up, much less laughing. He’d stayed away for days, kept his distance, but now he seemed to be acting normal again. He hadn’t faced Brent yet, though. We all knew that was coming. We’d all been waiting. I doubted Brent or Steel had made it home already. If they had, they’d still be hungover in bed until Momma banged a pot with a spoon in their room to wake them up. Or a glass of ice water would be thrown in their faces like she’d done so many times before.
“Y’all sure are in good moods this early,” I said, heading straight for the coffee on the counter. I didn’t want to make a big deal of Bray’s being out of his room.
“Norton adopted a wild mustang. You should see that thing twist and buck. It’s feral. Crazy as hell.” Dallas replied, as if this was a good reason to be so happy in the morning.
Bray spoke then. “They’re gonna break him. Attempt to break him. But I’ll believe it when I see it. I already told Norton I ain’t getting on the thing. That bastard will put your dick in the dirt.”
I figured that was a sound decision. “Reckon it’d be dumb to try. Never seen a wild mustang, but I hear they can be dangerous. Not meant for joy riding.”
