Boys South of the Mason Dixon
Page 46
I stood up and followed him out without a word to anyone around me. They’d all have to just understand. Small talk and words of courtesy were the last thing on my mind. Luke felt the same. He wasn’t even in here for that very reason. He was keeping his distance from the crowd by staying away.
When we were far enough from everyone, Bray stopped walking. “I have no fucking clue where to get coffee. I was just thinking if I didn’t get you out of there, you were gonna toss Hannah’s hot ass out a window.”
I wasn’t going to go that far, but I was grateful he saved me. “I just need her to wake up like she’s supposed to,” I said staring out the window in front of us. Out there, the sun was still shining, the world was still turning, people were still living their lives unaware that others were locked away in here fighting for theirs. Their worlds hadn’t stopped. Just ours.
I turned to Bray, “Scarlet came by yesterday morning. She was here when I woke up. She didn’t stay because you and Brent would be coming. But she’s close by. Waiting on news. Charlotte is keeping her updated.”
Bray was silent for a couple minutes. I understood needing to be left alone with your thoughts to process it all. So I let him. We both stood there, with our arms crossed over our chests, our eyes on the world outside but not really seeing any of it. Both our minds were elsewhere.
“I’m not letting her go. Brent may hate me for life, but I can’t let her go. She makes me sane. She understands and accepts me in a way no one else ever has. I can’t let her go, Asher.”
I knew he couldn’t. I never expected it to be that easy.
“Seeing Dixie put into that helicopter, realizing that life can end so abruptly, just like dad’s . . . I have to fight for her. Life could end for any of us at any moment.”
I knew he hadn’t meant to, but the image of Dixie being taken away caused a burning in my chest again. I just nodded in agreement. I had to catch my breath. I had to remember she was alive and I hadn’t lost her.
“Shit. Didn’t mean to upset you. You’ve gone fucking white.”
“It’s never going to be easy remembering those things.”
Bray squeezed my shoulder. “No, it ain’t,” he agreed.
I started to say more when Charlotte’s voice rang down the hallway, “She’s awake.”
My heart jumped in my chest. The long strides I took from where I had been standing with Bray to the room that Charlotte led me to were a blur. All I could think about was that Dixie’s eyes were open. She was here. She was back.
When we reached the room, Luke was just walking out. He smiled at Charlotte. His eyes were full of joy while his cheeks were still damp from his tears. “She’s asking for Asher.”
I didn’t wait for an invitation. I moved past both her parents and opened the door. Dixie looked so small on that bed, her skin pale and with all those wires connected to her body, but from the moment her eyes found mine, a smile curled on her lips.
I had prayed for days just to see that smile again, and just from seeing her there sitting up and awake, I started to cry.
“Asher,” her voice was hoarse and soft. I moved toward her as my vision blurred from the tears and a sob tore from my chest. When I finally got to her, I laid my head in her lap and let the fear, relief, and all consuming love I felt for this woman break me further. Her hand touched my head and I just stayed there.
“I love you, too,” she said. I smiled through the tears and lifted my head to see her. To take her in. To remind myself she was alive. We still had our forever ahead of us.
Luke Monroe
MY BABY GIRL was alive.
I stood outside her hospital room door while Asher Sutton sat by her side. The doctor gave us an update on the device they’d implanted on her heart to keep it beating. He explained how her life would be different.
“She will have regular doctor visits. She can eventually have regular exercise in her life. But moderate, nothing too strenuous. This is a hereditary condition so if she ever decides to have children, they’d have a 50/50 chance of having the same condition. That’s a choice she will have to make. Do either of you have a history of any heart conditions in your family?”
I spoke, “Charlotte isn’t her biological mother. And no, I’ve never had any issues. But her biological mother, she died of unknown causes. She had left us, so I didn’t look into it. She hadn’t been in our lives for five years at the time of her death.“ I hadn’t wanted Dixie to know. I wanted to protect her from Millie, from all she’d done, all she was capable of doing. I didn’t want Dixie to mourn a mother who wasn’t worth it. She’d never loved Dixie. Millie had only loved herself.
The doctor nodded. “I’d be interested in finding out if it was heart related. There is a very high chance it was Long QT Syndrome and it just went undetected. It often does. Dixie is very lucky. I’ve said that to you before, but I need to stress to you just how lucky she is that you were there when she collapsed. You saved her life.”
What if Charlotte hadn’t been there? I couldn’t think that way. She had been there and Dixie had lived.
“She will need to stay with us another week at least. Then we will need to put her in some physical therapy to ease her into things. Dixie is very strong and very determined. She has a life ahead of her now and the two of you to thank for it.” He patted me on the back, then turned and left us.
“Will I ever stop asking myself what would have happened if I hadn’t been there? What if I’d been outside? What if she’d been in her room and I hadn’t heard her?” Charlotte was fighting her tears but slowly losing that battle.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I keep asking myself the same thing. And now I feel guilty for not looking into Millie’s death and why it happened. Maybe if I’d known more and had Dixie checked on time, we would have been able to stop this from ever happening.”
Charlotte wrapped her arms around one of mine. “We can’t do that, Luke. She lived. She is okay. We were given this gift and we can’t keep torturing ourselves with what ifs. We need to rejoice she is alive.”
I kissed the top of her head. This woman had come into our lives when we needed her the most. She’d taught me to love again. To trust again. She’d given my daughter the kind of mother she deserved. She’d loved her like her own. And now she’d saved her life. My world before Charlotte had only one ray of light in it. My Dixie. But Charlotte gave it a rainbow.
“I love you, Charlotte Monroe. I became the luckiest man alive the day you walked into my life.”
She tilted her head back and looked up at me. “You and Dixie gave me the first joy I’d ever had in life. I’m the lucky one.”
I didn’t argue. She was pretty damn lucky, too. We all were.
Asher Sutton
STEEL WAS STANDING alone outside the waiting room when I made my way back in there to give everyone an update, and to give Luke and Charlotte some time alone with Dixie. I stopped and waited for him to say what he was out here to say. This moment was coming. I knew he had things he needed to say. It was only fair. This had been hard on him, too. We both almost lost the girl we loved.
“She woke up and wanted you,” he said simply.
It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement.
“When she was taken away and we didn’t know why or what was going on,” he paused. “My first thoughts weren’t of Dixie. They weren’t of me. The first thing that ran through my head was that you wouldn’t survive this. That was it. I was terrified, sure. The idea of Dixie . . . the whole damn thing was scary as hell. But my first thought was that you’d not make it through this if you lost her.”
When we were far enough from everyone, Bray stopped walking. “I have no fucking clue where to get coffee. I was just thinking if I didn’t get you out of there, you were gonna toss Hannah’s hot ass out a window.”
I wasn’t going to go that far, but I was grateful he saved me. “I just need her to wake up like she’s supposed to,” I said staring out the window in front of us. Out there, the sun was still shining, the world was still turning, people were still living their lives unaware that others were locked away in here fighting for theirs. Their worlds hadn’t stopped. Just ours.
I turned to Bray, “Scarlet came by yesterday morning. She was here when I woke up. She didn’t stay because you and Brent would be coming. But she’s close by. Waiting on news. Charlotte is keeping her updated.”
Bray was silent for a couple minutes. I understood needing to be left alone with your thoughts to process it all. So I let him. We both stood there, with our arms crossed over our chests, our eyes on the world outside but not really seeing any of it. Both our minds were elsewhere.
“I’m not letting her go. Brent may hate me for life, but I can’t let her go. She makes me sane. She understands and accepts me in a way no one else ever has. I can’t let her go, Asher.”
I knew he couldn’t. I never expected it to be that easy.
“Seeing Dixie put into that helicopter, realizing that life can end so abruptly, just like dad’s . . . I have to fight for her. Life could end for any of us at any moment.”
I knew he hadn’t meant to, but the image of Dixie being taken away caused a burning in my chest again. I just nodded in agreement. I had to catch my breath. I had to remember she was alive and I hadn’t lost her.
“Shit. Didn’t mean to upset you. You’ve gone fucking white.”
“It’s never going to be easy remembering those things.”
Bray squeezed my shoulder. “No, it ain’t,” he agreed.
I started to say more when Charlotte’s voice rang down the hallway, “She’s awake.”
My heart jumped in my chest. The long strides I took from where I had been standing with Bray to the room that Charlotte led me to were a blur. All I could think about was that Dixie’s eyes were open. She was here. She was back.
When we reached the room, Luke was just walking out. He smiled at Charlotte. His eyes were full of joy while his cheeks were still damp from his tears. “She’s asking for Asher.”
I didn’t wait for an invitation. I moved past both her parents and opened the door. Dixie looked so small on that bed, her skin pale and with all those wires connected to her body, but from the moment her eyes found mine, a smile curled on her lips.
I had prayed for days just to see that smile again, and just from seeing her there sitting up and awake, I started to cry.
“Asher,” her voice was hoarse and soft. I moved toward her as my vision blurred from the tears and a sob tore from my chest. When I finally got to her, I laid my head in her lap and let the fear, relief, and all consuming love I felt for this woman break me further. Her hand touched my head and I just stayed there.
“I love you, too,” she said. I smiled through the tears and lifted my head to see her. To take her in. To remind myself she was alive. We still had our forever ahead of us.
Luke Monroe
MY BABY GIRL was alive.
I stood outside her hospital room door while Asher Sutton sat by her side. The doctor gave us an update on the device they’d implanted on her heart to keep it beating. He explained how her life would be different.
“She will have regular doctor visits. She can eventually have regular exercise in her life. But moderate, nothing too strenuous. This is a hereditary condition so if she ever decides to have children, they’d have a 50/50 chance of having the same condition. That’s a choice she will have to make. Do either of you have a history of any heart conditions in your family?”
I spoke, “Charlotte isn’t her biological mother. And no, I’ve never had any issues. But her biological mother, she died of unknown causes. She had left us, so I didn’t look into it. She hadn’t been in our lives for five years at the time of her death.“ I hadn’t wanted Dixie to know. I wanted to protect her from Millie, from all she’d done, all she was capable of doing. I didn’t want Dixie to mourn a mother who wasn’t worth it. She’d never loved Dixie. Millie had only loved herself.
The doctor nodded. “I’d be interested in finding out if it was heart related. There is a very high chance it was Long QT Syndrome and it just went undetected. It often does. Dixie is very lucky. I’ve said that to you before, but I need to stress to you just how lucky she is that you were there when she collapsed. You saved her life.”
What if Charlotte hadn’t been there? I couldn’t think that way. She had been there and Dixie had lived.
“She will need to stay with us another week at least. Then we will need to put her in some physical therapy to ease her into things. Dixie is very strong and very determined. She has a life ahead of her now and the two of you to thank for it.” He patted me on the back, then turned and left us.
“Will I ever stop asking myself what would have happened if I hadn’t been there? What if I’d been outside? What if she’d been in her room and I hadn’t heard her?” Charlotte was fighting her tears but slowly losing that battle.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I keep asking myself the same thing. And now I feel guilty for not looking into Millie’s death and why it happened. Maybe if I’d known more and had Dixie checked on time, we would have been able to stop this from ever happening.”
Charlotte wrapped her arms around one of mine. “We can’t do that, Luke. She lived. She is okay. We were given this gift and we can’t keep torturing ourselves with what ifs. We need to rejoice she is alive.”
I kissed the top of her head. This woman had come into our lives when we needed her the most. She’d taught me to love again. To trust again. She’d given my daughter the kind of mother she deserved. She’d loved her like her own. And now she’d saved her life. My world before Charlotte had only one ray of light in it. My Dixie. But Charlotte gave it a rainbow.
“I love you, Charlotte Monroe. I became the luckiest man alive the day you walked into my life.”
She tilted her head back and looked up at me. “You and Dixie gave me the first joy I’d ever had in life. I’m the lucky one.”
I didn’t argue. She was pretty damn lucky, too. We all were.
Asher Sutton
STEEL WAS STANDING alone outside the waiting room when I made my way back in there to give everyone an update, and to give Luke and Charlotte some time alone with Dixie. I stopped and waited for him to say what he was out here to say. This moment was coming. I knew he had things he needed to say. It was only fair. This had been hard on him, too. We both almost lost the girl we loved.
“She woke up and wanted you,” he said simply.
It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement.
“When she was taken away and we didn’t know why or what was going on,” he paused. “My first thoughts weren’t of Dixie. They weren’t of me. The first thing that ran through my head was that you wouldn’t survive this. That was it. I was terrified, sure. The idea of Dixie . . . the whole damn thing was scary as hell. But my first thought was that you’d not make it through this if you lost her.”
