Brave
Page 20
I dropped my shirts into the bag. “I’m reacting because I have to do something. I can’t sit around and just wait for him to storm this place or wait for one of the other twenty percent you haven’t talked to that may or may not want to kill me to protect their families. I’m not going to do that.”
Ren placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, but I still jumped at the contact. This time, though, he didn’t pull his hand away like he normally would when I was jumpy. Instead, he carefully turned me to him.
I drew in a deep breath. “I can’t stay here, Ren. You know that I can’t do that. I can’t be okay with putting other lives in danger, and I know you’re not okay with that either.”
He looked like he was about to disagree with the last statement. “We have help coming. Fae that can find the Crystal. Tomorrow.”
“But what if it doesn’t work?” I asked. “What if they can’t find the Crystal in time? And if we get this Crystal, how in the hell are we going to trap the Prince, and get his blood and my blood on it in the Otherworld?”
His jaw tightened. “We haven’t exactly crossed that bridge—”
“That’s the point. I don’t even think that bridge has been built yet, so what if we never cross it?”
“We will,” he said, voice hard. “Even if I have to build that fucking bridge myself with my own two damn hands.”
I sighed. “We should be focusing on finding a way to weaken him. There has to be something out there, someone who knows.”
There was a pause. “And that’s what you want to do out there? Find out if it’s possible?”
“It has to be possible. He has to have a weakness, and even as hard as killing him will be, it has to be easier than completing the ritual of blood and stone.”
And I knew exactly where I was going to start.
The Order and the Elite. If any two groups out there had any idea, it would be them, and it was far past time for them to start talking.
A long moment passed. “Okay.” His shoulders squared as if he had come to some kind of conclusion. “Where would we go?”
“I haven’t exactly thought that far ahead,” I admitted, leaving out the whole paying a visit to the Order thing. I wouldn’t be able to stay in New Orleans long. My visit with them would have to be quick and I had a feeling it would be bloody. This time I wouldn’t be unprepared. Oh hell no. “But I think I’d have to get as far away as possible. Maybe Europe? I have money saved up. I think I can get out before he realizes where I am.”
“And then what?” he asked, cupping my cheeks in his broad hands. He brought me to him, against his chest. One arm circled my waist. “Tell me what the next step is.”
Relaxing into his touch, I let out a little sigh. Weariness invaded my bones and muscles. I didn’t want to leave him. God, that was the last thing I truly wanted to do. “I don’t know. Keep moving until . . . we figure out how to put him back in his world or can kill him, but I’ll be wherever and you—you and Tink will be safe.”
Everything about Ren changed in an instant. A small tremor went through him and then his entire body stiffened. “Wait. You’re planning to leave without me?”
A slight frown turned the corners of my lips down. “I don’t want to, but if I’m not around you, then you’re not in danger—well, you’d be in less danger. The Prince will go where I go. You’ll just be in . . . normal danger, which is a lot better than psycho Prince danger.”
Ren pulled back, tilting my head up so our gazes met. His lips parted on a sharp inhale. “You were in here packing your stuff to leave without me. That’s what you were doing.” Understanding seeped into his features. “Holy shit. If I hadn’t walked into this room, would you have even stopped to say goodbye? Or were you planning to sneak out of here without saying a word?”
Crap.
I didn’t want to answer that because he wouldn’t understand my answer.
Ren dropped his hand and took a step back and then another. “Shit, Ivy.”
Oh, this was not good. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I think that says it all,” he replied, voice rough.
“No—no, that doesn’t say anything.” A different kind of panic blossomed in the center of my chest. None of this was going how I’d planned. Then again, I didn’t have much of a plan. Ren had been right about the whole knee jerk thing. “You don’t understand. If I had—”
“You’re right. I don’t understand, Ivy. I cannot even comprehend how you could walk out of here without saying anything to me.” His gaze drifted over me in a way that made me think he wasn’t sure who he was staring at. “After everything that has happened, you’d do that to me?”
My spine stiffened. “I’d do anything to protect you. Just like you’d do anything to protect me, right?”
“Are you fucking shitting me right now?” he exploded. “Does protecting me include stressing me the fuck out?”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Well, no—”
“Okay. How about having me go insane with worry?” He stepped forward, chin dipped. “Does protecting me also mean leaving me to think the goddamn worst thing has happened to you again? That another fae got to you or worse?”
I jolted. “I would’ve left a letter. I wouldn’t—”
“A letter? You have got to be shitting me.” Lifting a hand, he thrust his fingers through his messy hair. “I should’ve known.” Dropping his hand, he laughed harshly. “You’ve already done this before.”
“What do you mean I’ve done this before? Last I checked, this is the first time we’ve found ourselves in this predicament.”
His eyes widened with disbelief. “It’s not. Back at that damn mansion you made a deal with that son of a bitch to free me.”
My arms fell to my sides. “That is not like this at all.”
“It’s not? You put yourself in danger needlessly,” he argued.
“What was I supposed to do?” I shouted, fighting back tears. “He was going to kill you, Ren. Do you not get that? What else was I supposed to do?”
“Anything but agree to give yourself to that monster to free me!” he yelled back, body tense.
Air lodged in my throat as I stumbled back a step.
“Did you think I forgot about that?” He shook his head. “The hell I’m letting you walk out of here to do that again.”
“Are you going to stop me?” I shot back. “Lock me up in this room? Chain me to the bed?”
One side of his lips curved up in a humorless smile. “Don’t tempt me, Ivy, because you’re obviously in need of someone to make better life choices for you.”
My heart thundered in my chest. The ever-present fury that had been simmering inside long before I escaped the Prince erupted like a super volcano. “Really?”
“Really.” He crossed his arms. “At least then I know I won’t find you in a bloody heap somewhere, or you won’t be running around, getting yourself captured.”
I lost it. “Then that makes you no better than the Prince!”
Blood drained from Ren’s face. Immediately, I knew I’d gone too far. Holding anyone anywhere wasn’t cool, but Jesus, Ren was nothing like the Prince.
What was wrong with me?
Something had to be for me to say that to him. Something horrible. But I didn’t get a chance for some deep self-discovery to figure out exactly how much my head was messed up.
Ren’s expression locked down. “Tanner said that the fae should be here tomorrow. Can you wait until then before you run off and do—” He looked away for a moment and then refocused on me. “Do whatever it is you’re going to do?”
I flinched. His tone was so incredibly distant—cold. I’d never heard him sound like that to me. Ever.
“Will you stay?” he demanded, emerald eyes blazing. “Stay until the ones Tanner thinks can locate the Crystal come? If that’s a bust, then I won’t say a word. Promise me you will stay at least until then. Please.”
Ren placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, but I still jumped at the contact. This time, though, he didn’t pull his hand away like he normally would when I was jumpy. Instead, he carefully turned me to him.
I drew in a deep breath. “I can’t stay here, Ren. You know that I can’t do that. I can’t be okay with putting other lives in danger, and I know you’re not okay with that either.”
He looked like he was about to disagree with the last statement. “We have help coming. Fae that can find the Crystal. Tomorrow.”
“But what if it doesn’t work?” I asked. “What if they can’t find the Crystal in time? And if we get this Crystal, how in the hell are we going to trap the Prince, and get his blood and my blood on it in the Otherworld?”
His jaw tightened. “We haven’t exactly crossed that bridge—”
“That’s the point. I don’t even think that bridge has been built yet, so what if we never cross it?”
“We will,” he said, voice hard. “Even if I have to build that fucking bridge myself with my own two damn hands.”
I sighed. “We should be focusing on finding a way to weaken him. There has to be something out there, someone who knows.”
There was a pause. “And that’s what you want to do out there? Find out if it’s possible?”
“It has to be possible. He has to have a weakness, and even as hard as killing him will be, it has to be easier than completing the ritual of blood and stone.”
And I knew exactly where I was going to start.
The Order and the Elite. If any two groups out there had any idea, it would be them, and it was far past time for them to start talking.
A long moment passed. “Okay.” His shoulders squared as if he had come to some kind of conclusion. “Where would we go?”
“I haven’t exactly thought that far ahead,” I admitted, leaving out the whole paying a visit to the Order thing. I wouldn’t be able to stay in New Orleans long. My visit with them would have to be quick and I had a feeling it would be bloody. This time I wouldn’t be unprepared. Oh hell no. “But I think I’d have to get as far away as possible. Maybe Europe? I have money saved up. I think I can get out before he realizes where I am.”
“And then what?” he asked, cupping my cheeks in his broad hands. He brought me to him, against his chest. One arm circled my waist. “Tell me what the next step is.”
Relaxing into his touch, I let out a little sigh. Weariness invaded my bones and muscles. I didn’t want to leave him. God, that was the last thing I truly wanted to do. “I don’t know. Keep moving until . . . we figure out how to put him back in his world or can kill him, but I’ll be wherever and you—you and Tink will be safe.”
Everything about Ren changed in an instant. A small tremor went through him and then his entire body stiffened. “Wait. You’re planning to leave without me?”
A slight frown turned the corners of my lips down. “I don’t want to, but if I’m not around you, then you’re not in danger—well, you’d be in less danger. The Prince will go where I go. You’ll just be in . . . normal danger, which is a lot better than psycho Prince danger.”
Ren pulled back, tilting my head up so our gazes met. His lips parted on a sharp inhale. “You were in here packing your stuff to leave without me. That’s what you were doing.” Understanding seeped into his features. “Holy shit. If I hadn’t walked into this room, would you have even stopped to say goodbye? Or were you planning to sneak out of here without saying a word?”
Crap.
I didn’t want to answer that because he wouldn’t understand my answer.
Ren dropped his hand and took a step back and then another. “Shit, Ivy.”
Oh, this was not good. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I think that says it all,” he replied, voice rough.
“No—no, that doesn’t say anything.” A different kind of panic blossomed in the center of my chest. None of this was going how I’d planned. Then again, I didn’t have much of a plan. Ren had been right about the whole knee jerk thing. “You don’t understand. If I had—”
“You’re right. I don’t understand, Ivy. I cannot even comprehend how you could walk out of here without saying anything to me.” His gaze drifted over me in a way that made me think he wasn’t sure who he was staring at. “After everything that has happened, you’d do that to me?”
My spine stiffened. “I’d do anything to protect you. Just like you’d do anything to protect me, right?”
“Are you fucking shitting me right now?” he exploded. “Does protecting me include stressing me the fuck out?”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Well, no—”
“Okay. How about having me go insane with worry?” He stepped forward, chin dipped. “Does protecting me also mean leaving me to think the goddamn worst thing has happened to you again? That another fae got to you or worse?”
I jolted. “I would’ve left a letter. I wouldn’t—”
“A letter? You have got to be shitting me.” Lifting a hand, he thrust his fingers through his messy hair. “I should’ve known.” Dropping his hand, he laughed harshly. “You’ve already done this before.”
“What do you mean I’ve done this before? Last I checked, this is the first time we’ve found ourselves in this predicament.”
His eyes widened with disbelief. “It’s not. Back at that damn mansion you made a deal with that son of a bitch to free me.”
My arms fell to my sides. “That is not like this at all.”
“It’s not? You put yourself in danger needlessly,” he argued.
“What was I supposed to do?” I shouted, fighting back tears. “He was going to kill you, Ren. Do you not get that? What else was I supposed to do?”
“Anything but agree to give yourself to that monster to free me!” he yelled back, body tense.
Air lodged in my throat as I stumbled back a step.
“Did you think I forgot about that?” He shook his head. “The hell I’m letting you walk out of here to do that again.”
“Are you going to stop me?” I shot back. “Lock me up in this room? Chain me to the bed?”
One side of his lips curved up in a humorless smile. “Don’t tempt me, Ivy, because you’re obviously in need of someone to make better life choices for you.”
My heart thundered in my chest. The ever-present fury that had been simmering inside long before I escaped the Prince erupted like a super volcano. “Really?”
“Really.” He crossed his arms. “At least then I know I won’t find you in a bloody heap somewhere, or you won’t be running around, getting yourself captured.”
I lost it. “Then that makes you no better than the Prince!”
Blood drained from Ren’s face. Immediately, I knew I’d gone too far. Holding anyone anywhere wasn’t cool, but Jesus, Ren was nothing like the Prince.
What was wrong with me?
Something had to be for me to say that to him. Something horrible. But I didn’t get a chance for some deep self-discovery to figure out exactly how much my head was messed up.
Ren’s expression locked down. “Tanner said that the fae should be here tomorrow. Can you wait until then before you run off and do—” He looked away for a moment and then refocused on me. “Do whatever it is you’re going to do?”
I flinched. His tone was so incredibly distant—cold. I’d never heard him sound like that to me. Ever.
“Will you stay?” he demanded, emerald eyes blazing. “Stay until the ones Tanner thinks can locate the Crystal come? If that’s a bust, then I won’t say a word. Promise me you will stay at least until then. Please.”
