Breaking Away
Page 42
“It isn’t,” she said softly. “My dad was really bad into alcohol when Harper was a child. He got help, but he has always been honest with us. My mom used to blame herself, but he reassured her it wasn’t her fault.”
He didn’t like this subject. It always brought up sucky feelings, so with an uncommitted shrug, he said, “Yeah.” Looking over at her, he asked, “So, it’s just you and your sisters right?”
She smiled. “Yeah, after my dad cleaned up, they tried for a boy and got two girls.”
They both shared a laugh at that, and he loved the way her eyes shined. It was obvious that she loved her family, and he wished he could say the same. Well, he loved Claire. She was his family.
“Just you and your sister?”
Phillip looked over as his chest tightened. “No, I have a brother, Miles, but we don’t talk anymore.”
She let her head dropped to the side. “Can I ask why?”
“You can ask anything you want. To answer your question, he isn’t my whole brother—he’s my half. Apparently, before coming to run through my mom, my dad had a family that he left for my mom. After having me and leaving, he got cleaned up and his ex-wife took him back to have their family back together. When I went into the AHL, I ran into him. We joked around about being related because of our last name, and then our dad came to practice and knew it was me. Long story short, my dad freaked, thinking I was like my mom. He told Miles that he couldn’t have anything to do with me and if he did, he would lose his relationship with his father.”
She took in a sharp breath. “That’s horrible.”
“I know, but I don’t blame him for cutting off a relationship with me because he had his dad so long before he left, and he didn’t want to lose him again. I guess, or at least that’s what I tell myself. It sucks you know. He plays for the Bruins now and, when we play against each other, we don’t even talk. It sucks and it hurts, but it is what it is. Maybe one day we’ll reconnect.”
He could see the sympathy in her eyes, and he hated how much he had opened up to her right then. He never talked about Miles anymore. Their short term together was that, short. He missed him but had let him go ages ago. And like he said, he hoped to one day reconnect with his older half-brother, but it just didn’t seem like it was in the cards and he was okay with that. When Reese leaned into him, he smiled over at her.
“Well, I think you are pretty amazing and strong to have gone through all this shit and still be the amazing guy you are. Claire is lucky to have you, and she is going to grow into a very successful woman because of you.”
Phillip’s mouth pulled up at the side as he looked over at her. “God, I hope so.”
“She will,” she said with all the confidence in the world.
She shot him a grin before going back to eating. He didn’t know why she believed in him so much, but it felt great to have her in his corner. Watching as she ate, something inside him urged him to ask her something that he had been wondering for a while. When she had asked him earlier if this was a date, he knew to say no because of the fear in her eyes. She wanted this to be a date, but she didn’t want to admit it to herself or to him.
He had a lot of experience with females, and Reese was the poster girl for the one that got hurt by a douche. Because of this, she decided a life of sleeping around would fill the void in her heart, when really what she needed was a good man to love her the right way. Usually, Phillip was one to capitalize on these kinds of women, but Reese was different and, for some odd reason, he wanted to be the one to make her realize that he wasn’t like the douchebag. That he was actually someone that could make her happy.
Why, he wasn’t sure yet, but that didn’t stop him from asking, “So who’s the guy that ruined you for the male race?”
She looked over at him, surprised. “Excuse me?”
“The guy who broke your heart and put you in the ‘not emotionally available’ status,” he said, making air quotations just to make her laugh. It worked but only for a second before she looked away.
“His name was Kevin; I met him in New York. We both danced for the same company. He was older than I was. I thought he was everything I wanted, but boy, was I wrong.”
He watched as she took in a deep breath, still not looking at him, before going on. “I thought we were going to get married and have little dancing babies, but he was already married with a child.”
“While he was with you?” Phillip asked, already hating the guy.
“Yeah. It completely broke me, and it has taken me a long time to get over him. I sometimes think I still love him, and I know that there will never be a love like that again. That’s why I’m emotionally unavailable, because I don’t want to be in a relationship with some guy and have him fall in love with me when I can’t fall for him. It isn’t fair, but it’s how I’m programmed now.”
“Are you sure?”
She looked up, confused. “Sure?”
“That you’re programmed like that. Have you tried after douchebag?”
She smiled, only for a second, before shaking her head. “No, I haven’t.”
“Then how do you know?”
She eyed him for a second and then asked, “Are you suggesting I try with you?”
He didn’t answer right away. He could see in her eyes that she was looking for a reason to run, and he’d be damn if he was going to give it to her. He had to play his cards right or this woman would shut him out so quickly that he wouldn’t know what hit him, and he couldn’t let that happen. He enjoyed her way too much. If she wanted to keep things light, fine, he could work with that. It might be something she wanted now, but if he worked hard and kept his eyes on the prize, he would score.
He didn’t like this subject. It always brought up sucky feelings, so with an uncommitted shrug, he said, “Yeah.” Looking over at her, he asked, “So, it’s just you and your sisters right?”
She smiled. “Yeah, after my dad cleaned up, they tried for a boy and got two girls.”
They both shared a laugh at that, and he loved the way her eyes shined. It was obvious that she loved her family, and he wished he could say the same. Well, he loved Claire. She was his family.
“Just you and your sister?”
Phillip looked over as his chest tightened. “No, I have a brother, Miles, but we don’t talk anymore.”
She let her head dropped to the side. “Can I ask why?”
“You can ask anything you want. To answer your question, he isn’t my whole brother—he’s my half. Apparently, before coming to run through my mom, my dad had a family that he left for my mom. After having me and leaving, he got cleaned up and his ex-wife took him back to have their family back together. When I went into the AHL, I ran into him. We joked around about being related because of our last name, and then our dad came to practice and knew it was me. Long story short, my dad freaked, thinking I was like my mom. He told Miles that he couldn’t have anything to do with me and if he did, he would lose his relationship with his father.”
She took in a sharp breath. “That’s horrible.”
“I know, but I don’t blame him for cutting off a relationship with me because he had his dad so long before he left, and he didn’t want to lose him again. I guess, or at least that’s what I tell myself. It sucks you know. He plays for the Bruins now and, when we play against each other, we don’t even talk. It sucks and it hurts, but it is what it is. Maybe one day we’ll reconnect.”
He could see the sympathy in her eyes, and he hated how much he had opened up to her right then. He never talked about Miles anymore. Their short term together was that, short. He missed him but had let him go ages ago. And like he said, he hoped to one day reconnect with his older half-brother, but it just didn’t seem like it was in the cards and he was okay with that. When Reese leaned into him, he smiled over at her.
“Well, I think you are pretty amazing and strong to have gone through all this shit and still be the amazing guy you are. Claire is lucky to have you, and she is going to grow into a very successful woman because of you.”
Phillip’s mouth pulled up at the side as he looked over at her. “God, I hope so.”
“She will,” she said with all the confidence in the world.
She shot him a grin before going back to eating. He didn’t know why she believed in him so much, but it felt great to have her in his corner. Watching as she ate, something inside him urged him to ask her something that he had been wondering for a while. When she had asked him earlier if this was a date, he knew to say no because of the fear in her eyes. She wanted this to be a date, but she didn’t want to admit it to herself or to him.
He had a lot of experience with females, and Reese was the poster girl for the one that got hurt by a douche. Because of this, she decided a life of sleeping around would fill the void in her heart, when really what she needed was a good man to love her the right way. Usually, Phillip was one to capitalize on these kinds of women, but Reese was different and, for some odd reason, he wanted to be the one to make her realize that he wasn’t like the douchebag. That he was actually someone that could make her happy.
Why, he wasn’t sure yet, but that didn’t stop him from asking, “So who’s the guy that ruined you for the male race?”
She looked over at him, surprised. “Excuse me?”
“The guy who broke your heart and put you in the ‘not emotionally available’ status,” he said, making air quotations just to make her laugh. It worked but only for a second before she looked away.
“His name was Kevin; I met him in New York. We both danced for the same company. He was older than I was. I thought he was everything I wanted, but boy, was I wrong.”
He watched as she took in a deep breath, still not looking at him, before going on. “I thought we were going to get married and have little dancing babies, but he was already married with a child.”
“While he was with you?” Phillip asked, already hating the guy.
“Yeah. It completely broke me, and it has taken me a long time to get over him. I sometimes think I still love him, and I know that there will never be a love like that again. That’s why I’m emotionally unavailable, because I don’t want to be in a relationship with some guy and have him fall in love with me when I can’t fall for him. It isn’t fair, but it’s how I’m programmed now.”
“Are you sure?”
She looked up, confused. “Sure?”
“That you’re programmed like that. Have you tried after douchebag?”
She smiled, only for a second, before shaking her head. “No, I haven’t.”
“Then how do you know?”
She eyed him for a second and then asked, “Are you suggesting I try with you?”
He didn’t answer right away. He could see in her eyes that she was looking for a reason to run, and he’d be damn if he was going to give it to her. He had to play his cards right or this woman would shut him out so quickly that he wouldn’t know what hit him, and he couldn’t let that happen. He enjoyed her way too much. If she wanted to keep things light, fine, he could work with that. It might be something she wanted now, but if he worked hard and kept his eyes on the prize, he would score.
