Breaking Free
Page 4
This time when he kissed her, his tongue moved in the same slow circling rhythm as his finger, reminding her of the sensation. And again, her lower half grew heavy with need, her swollen clit throbbing with every heartbeat.
Her legs wobbled. He tried to pull back, but her arms were tight around his neck. Even as she pressed herself to his body, she trembled. He must know how excited she was. He would bend her over, take her… He’d eroded her control, the shields holding her together.
Grasping her upper arms, he moved her away from him. His gaze ran over her as he checked her steadiness.
And then he tapped her cheek gently and walked away, leaving her naked and aroused.
Staring after him. Hating him. Wanting him.
Chapter Two
Beth managed to keep the previous night’s events out of her mind until she reached the Shadowlands, her last job of the day. After she finished with the bed of ferns, she moved her kneepad under one of the live oaks and started weeding the caladiums. The heady scent of lush growth and rich earth enveloped her, filling her with contentment. She loved her work.
And this place. She glanced at the three-story stone mansion behind her. Of all her jobs, the Shadowlands was her favorite. God, she’d been so lucky to snare the yard service contract. In the right place at the right time… How often did that happen?
On her first night in the club, she’d heard Master Z complain that his gardens looked ragged. Shaking in her stilettos at the audacity of interrupting a Dom’s conversation, she’d spoken up. Instead of dismissing her, he’d not only hired her, but threw in a club membership as part of her payment. Considering she wouldn’t have been able to afford another month of the hefty fees, she’d been thrilled.
She edged a little farther into the shade as the sun’s slanting rays burned her legs. Summer in Florida was so different from California. Both hot climates, but California was a dry sauna and Florida a very wet one. She glanced at the black clouds building in the sky and heard the low rumble of thunder, a warning of the daily afternoon downpour to come.
A bird swooped past in a flutter of wings, probably heading for one of the fountains scattered throughout the Capture Gardens. She leaned forward, patiently working her way through the bed, piling weeds beside her.
Weeding was a nice routine chore that left her plenty of time to think about how frightened she’d been last night. She could still feel Master Nolan’s fingers stroking her so intimately, and her response… A shiver ran through her.
For the first time in a year, she’d felt truly alive, none of her emotions frozen. She’d felt like a woman, something she wanted and needed, but not from someone like Master Nolan. He was too experienced, too powerful. He wouldn’t permit her to retain any defenses.
And although she didn’t judge people by their appearance, his rough looks frightened her. His cruel face actually made Kyler look sweet. She stared at the puncture scar in the center of her hand. Kyler wasn’t sweet.
Her mouth twisted, and she pushed aside the ugly memories. Stay in the present. She pulled another weed and tossed it onto the growing pile. Why did ripping plants out of the earth feel so satisfying? Because she could restore order to at least something in her life? Have control over one thing?
She sure hadn’t been in control last night, not after Master Z had sent Patrick away. Master Nolan had been totally in charge. He hadn’t asked her what she wanted or needed. Nothing. Too much like Kyler…only not quite.
Just wanting to hear her scream, Kyler had only been interested in her response to pain. She didn’t know Master Nolan’s goals, but he’d watched her response to everything. He’d seen when she began to panic, but he hadn’t offered comfort like other Doms or changed his plans. He’d just waited her out.
She could hate him a little for that.
She definitely hated him for leaving her so aroused that she’d whimpered. How could she be so thrilled to have actually felt desire and so humiliated at the same time? Sitting back, she pulled her legs up and laid her head on her knees. God, she was a mess.
“Hey, Beth.”
Beth jerked her head up and looked around to see Jessica walking through the garden’s gate. The pretty blonde in khaki shorts and a golden top looked crisp and cool, a far cry from Beth’s mud-stained appearance.
“I saw your truck and trailer. Don’t you ever take a day off?”
“Now and then. The Shadowlands has such extensive gardens that I’m here almost every afternoon except Saturdays when I’m getting ready to play and Fridays when…” She grinned. “Much to our mutual embarrassment, I discovered that your swinging crowd shows up early on Fridays.”
Jessica laughed and sat down on the nearby stone bench, avoiding the iron rings embedded in the sides where a sub could be restrained. “They’re sure enthusiastic. Z keeps threatening to drag me there, but he’s kidding.” A frown creased her brow. “I think he’s kidding.”
Beth huffed a laugh. She’d never met anyone as difficult to read as Master Z. Jessica was a brave woman to have him for her Dom. Then again, Master Nolan had been just as impassive. Nothing in his face had revealed his emotions. “How well do you know Master Nolan?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“Nolan? Not that well.” Jessica leaned back, tipping her face to the sun. “He and Z are friends, but he just got back a few months ago from Iraq and apparently has been occupied with catching up on his business.”
Keeping her face averted, Beth leaned forward and tugged out a volunteer impatiens. “Isn’t he a bit old to be playing soldier?”
“Z said… Let’s see…” Jessica thought for a moment. “Right. He had a military contract as a consultant for construction or engineering or something. He was only gone a year.” Jessica leaned forward and stared down at Beth. “You’re not planning to ask Nolan to top you, are you? I mean, you always seem to like the less exp… He’s not an easy-going… Uh, I’m digging myself into a hole here, I think.”
“You didn’t get to the club till late last night, huh?” Beth gave her a rueful smile.
“Yeah. Cullen said you’d been in and left. So did you meet Nolan?” Curiosity gleamed in Jessica’s green eyes. “Tell me, tell me.”
Beth hesitated. It had been a long, long time since she’d had someone to really talk with, not since she married Kyler, and he’d systematically cut her off from everyone. Did she even know how to be a friend anymore?
“You don’t have to tell me anything, you know,” Jessica said gently. “But I get lonely for girl talk sometimes; no one in the vanilla world really gets what BDSM is all about.” And that was as open an offer of friendship as Beth had ever received.
“I take it Master Z didn’t mention me.” Beth pulled a dandelion carefully, trying to get the entire long root. Master Z didn’t allow herbicides. “He said Nolan would top me in the club, and if that didn’t work out, he’d cancel my membership.”
Jessica blinked in shock. “He can’t do that.”
“He can.” Beth shrugged, although her heart warmed at the outrage in her new friend’s eyes. “No, don’t go yell at him. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He wanted to help; I know that. It’s just…Master Nolan’s a bit scary.” And wasn’t that the understatement of the year.
“Oh, please, that’s like saying Hannibal Lector only eats low-carb meals.”
Beth felt a giggle escape her, then another when Jessica rolled her eyes, and then she was really, really laughing.
Tears filled her eyes, not from the laughter, but from the bittersweet joy rising in her. So she still had some emotions besides fear left; Kyler hadn’t killed all the bright ones.
* * * * *
Saturday night, Beth walked through the open doors of the Shadowlands, head high, shoulders back. Although her stomach was in knots, she knew her appearance was adequate. Since Kyler had been out of town when she’d run, she’d had time to load her car with her clothes and the few mementoes he hadn’t broken. Most of it was totally unfit for a lawn service, but, hey, she had some nice fetish wear.
Tonight, she’d tried on every last piece before settling on a golden PVC bustier with matching short skirt and thin golden wrist cuffs. Would Master Nolan approve? People said the color brought out the highlights in her red hair, but she never felt very pretty. Not anymore. God knew Kyler hadn’t found her attractive. Titless, bony, stick-figure, dead-fish white. She’d known he liked hurting her, and still the derogatory comments battered down her ego as inevitably as the ocean turned cliffs into rubble.
She felt like rubble sometimes, but she wouldn’t let him win. No way. Tonight she had gazed in the mirror and knew she looked all right. Even if she couldn’t really believe it.
“Good evening, Miss Beth,” said the guard standing behind the desk.
“Hi, Ben,” she said. Ben was so big and ugly and sweet. He reminded her of Andre the Giant.
He grinned. “Nice outfit.”
The compliment was a stake propping up her sagging confidence. She beamed at him. “Thank you.”
He checked her off the membership list and waved her toward the door to the bar. As she stepped into the main club room, the ambience of the Shadowlands washed over her, pulling her into its lure. In the right corner, the dance floor churned with people, mostly the younger crowd moving to London After Midnight’s music. Later in the night, Z would change the music to slower tunes, easing the mood down.
Her legs wobbled. He tried to pull back, but her arms were tight around his neck. Even as she pressed herself to his body, she trembled. He must know how excited she was. He would bend her over, take her… He’d eroded her control, the shields holding her together.
Grasping her upper arms, he moved her away from him. His gaze ran over her as he checked her steadiness.
And then he tapped her cheek gently and walked away, leaving her naked and aroused.
Staring after him. Hating him. Wanting him.
Chapter Two
Beth managed to keep the previous night’s events out of her mind until she reached the Shadowlands, her last job of the day. After she finished with the bed of ferns, she moved her kneepad under one of the live oaks and started weeding the caladiums. The heady scent of lush growth and rich earth enveloped her, filling her with contentment. She loved her work.
And this place. She glanced at the three-story stone mansion behind her. Of all her jobs, the Shadowlands was her favorite. God, she’d been so lucky to snare the yard service contract. In the right place at the right time… How often did that happen?
On her first night in the club, she’d heard Master Z complain that his gardens looked ragged. Shaking in her stilettos at the audacity of interrupting a Dom’s conversation, she’d spoken up. Instead of dismissing her, he’d not only hired her, but threw in a club membership as part of her payment. Considering she wouldn’t have been able to afford another month of the hefty fees, she’d been thrilled.
She edged a little farther into the shade as the sun’s slanting rays burned her legs. Summer in Florida was so different from California. Both hot climates, but California was a dry sauna and Florida a very wet one. She glanced at the black clouds building in the sky and heard the low rumble of thunder, a warning of the daily afternoon downpour to come.
A bird swooped past in a flutter of wings, probably heading for one of the fountains scattered throughout the Capture Gardens. She leaned forward, patiently working her way through the bed, piling weeds beside her.
Weeding was a nice routine chore that left her plenty of time to think about how frightened she’d been last night. She could still feel Master Nolan’s fingers stroking her so intimately, and her response… A shiver ran through her.
For the first time in a year, she’d felt truly alive, none of her emotions frozen. She’d felt like a woman, something she wanted and needed, but not from someone like Master Nolan. He was too experienced, too powerful. He wouldn’t permit her to retain any defenses.
And although she didn’t judge people by their appearance, his rough looks frightened her. His cruel face actually made Kyler look sweet. She stared at the puncture scar in the center of her hand. Kyler wasn’t sweet.
Her mouth twisted, and she pushed aside the ugly memories. Stay in the present. She pulled another weed and tossed it onto the growing pile. Why did ripping plants out of the earth feel so satisfying? Because she could restore order to at least something in her life? Have control over one thing?
She sure hadn’t been in control last night, not after Master Z had sent Patrick away. Master Nolan had been totally in charge. He hadn’t asked her what she wanted or needed. Nothing. Too much like Kyler…only not quite.
Just wanting to hear her scream, Kyler had only been interested in her response to pain. She didn’t know Master Nolan’s goals, but he’d watched her response to everything. He’d seen when she began to panic, but he hadn’t offered comfort like other Doms or changed his plans. He’d just waited her out.
She could hate him a little for that.
She definitely hated him for leaving her so aroused that she’d whimpered. How could she be so thrilled to have actually felt desire and so humiliated at the same time? Sitting back, she pulled her legs up and laid her head on her knees. God, she was a mess.
“Hey, Beth.”
Beth jerked her head up and looked around to see Jessica walking through the garden’s gate. The pretty blonde in khaki shorts and a golden top looked crisp and cool, a far cry from Beth’s mud-stained appearance.
“I saw your truck and trailer. Don’t you ever take a day off?”
“Now and then. The Shadowlands has such extensive gardens that I’m here almost every afternoon except Saturdays when I’m getting ready to play and Fridays when…” She grinned. “Much to our mutual embarrassment, I discovered that your swinging crowd shows up early on Fridays.”
Jessica laughed and sat down on the nearby stone bench, avoiding the iron rings embedded in the sides where a sub could be restrained. “They’re sure enthusiastic. Z keeps threatening to drag me there, but he’s kidding.” A frown creased her brow. “I think he’s kidding.”
Beth huffed a laugh. She’d never met anyone as difficult to read as Master Z. Jessica was a brave woman to have him for her Dom. Then again, Master Nolan had been just as impassive. Nothing in his face had revealed his emotions. “How well do you know Master Nolan?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“Nolan? Not that well.” Jessica leaned back, tipping her face to the sun. “He and Z are friends, but he just got back a few months ago from Iraq and apparently has been occupied with catching up on his business.”
Keeping her face averted, Beth leaned forward and tugged out a volunteer impatiens. “Isn’t he a bit old to be playing soldier?”
“Z said… Let’s see…” Jessica thought for a moment. “Right. He had a military contract as a consultant for construction or engineering or something. He was only gone a year.” Jessica leaned forward and stared down at Beth. “You’re not planning to ask Nolan to top you, are you? I mean, you always seem to like the less exp… He’s not an easy-going… Uh, I’m digging myself into a hole here, I think.”
“You didn’t get to the club till late last night, huh?” Beth gave her a rueful smile.
“Yeah. Cullen said you’d been in and left. So did you meet Nolan?” Curiosity gleamed in Jessica’s green eyes. “Tell me, tell me.”
Beth hesitated. It had been a long, long time since she’d had someone to really talk with, not since she married Kyler, and he’d systematically cut her off from everyone. Did she even know how to be a friend anymore?
“You don’t have to tell me anything, you know,” Jessica said gently. “But I get lonely for girl talk sometimes; no one in the vanilla world really gets what BDSM is all about.” And that was as open an offer of friendship as Beth had ever received.
“I take it Master Z didn’t mention me.” Beth pulled a dandelion carefully, trying to get the entire long root. Master Z didn’t allow herbicides. “He said Nolan would top me in the club, and if that didn’t work out, he’d cancel my membership.”
Jessica blinked in shock. “He can’t do that.”
“He can.” Beth shrugged, although her heart warmed at the outrage in her new friend’s eyes. “No, don’t go yell at him. He wasn’t trying to be mean. He wanted to help; I know that. It’s just…Master Nolan’s a bit scary.” And wasn’t that the understatement of the year.
“Oh, please, that’s like saying Hannibal Lector only eats low-carb meals.”
Beth felt a giggle escape her, then another when Jessica rolled her eyes, and then she was really, really laughing.
Tears filled her eyes, not from the laughter, but from the bittersweet joy rising in her. So she still had some emotions besides fear left; Kyler hadn’t killed all the bright ones.
* * * * *
Saturday night, Beth walked through the open doors of the Shadowlands, head high, shoulders back. Although her stomach was in knots, she knew her appearance was adequate. Since Kyler had been out of town when she’d run, she’d had time to load her car with her clothes and the few mementoes he hadn’t broken. Most of it was totally unfit for a lawn service, but, hey, she had some nice fetish wear.
Tonight, she’d tried on every last piece before settling on a golden PVC bustier with matching short skirt and thin golden wrist cuffs. Would Master Nolan approve? People said the color brought out the highlights in her red hair, but she never felt very pretty. Not anymore. God knew Kyler hadn’t found her attractive. Titless, bony, stick-figure, dead-fish white. She’d known he liked hurting her, and still the derogatory comments battered down her ego as inevitably as the ocean turned cliffs into rubble.
She felt like rubble sometimes, but she wouldn’t let him win. No way. Tonight she had gazed in the mirror and knew she looked all right. Even if she couldn’t really believe it.
“Good evening, Miss Beth,” said the guard standing behind the desk.
“Hi, Ben,” she said. Ben was so big and ugly and sweet. He reminded her of Andre the Giant.
He grinned. “Nice outfit.”
The compliment was a stake propping up her sagging confidence. She beamed at him. “Thank you.”
He checked her off the membership list and waved her toward the door to the bar. As she stepped into the main club room, the ambience of the Shadowlands washed over her, pulling her into its lure. In the right corner, the dance floor churned with people, mostly the younger crowd moving to London After Midnight’s music. Later in the night, Z would change the music to slower tunes, easing the mood down.
