Breaking Love
Page 41
“Do you think maybe he wants to make up for missing the first three years of Kennedy’s life?”
“I don’t blame him for that. Not anymore. We’ve talked about it and realized we’ve both made mistakes, and there is nothing we could do to erase the past.”
“Did the both of you agree with that or just you?”
“I’m not following.”
“It’s pretty clear he wants more than to make up for lost time. He’s intelligent enough to know he won’t ever get that back. He’s trying to fill a void.”
“A void that I put there.”
“Don’t be stupid. You both made decisions, but the important thing is that you’re together now. Kennedy had you and now she has the both of you. Don’t fuck that up over ‘what-ifs.’”
“You should take some of your own advice.” She grinned. “What’s going on with you and my brother? That was a pretty intense look he had given you before he left.”
“Nothing is going on. He’s engaged to Rosalyn, which I’m sure you know.”
“He told me at the wedding after telling me that very day that he’d brought her. I’m also grateful the wedding was ruined so I didn’t have to see her there.
“I’m sorry I ruined your wedding. Have you guys decided on a new date?”
“No, and I’m not that sorry.” She shrugged.
“Why not?” I couldn’t conceal the surprise from my tone. Did she not want to marry Keenan? It was undeniable that those two were in love, even more so than before.
“Because I realize now that it wasn’t perfect. You weren’t there with me and now you are.”
“I don’t think my presence would have really made that big of a difference.”
“And that was always the problem, wasn’t it? You underestimate your worth to the people who love and care for you. You probably thought the same when you took off, but you hurt all of us. I just wish you would tell us what we did to make you leave.”
“I just had a lot to figure out. I found someone who could help me do that. I might not have ever come back given the choice, but I don’t blame you.”
“There’s someone?”
I shook my head. “It’s not what you think.”
She nodded, accepting my answer, which wasn’t much of an answer at all. No one knew where I’d gone. Not even my mother.
“What about Lake? Do you blame her?” she blurted.
“Lake hurt me, but it’s not about blame. My decision to leave was for me. I’m not even sure if my feelings or my reaction to her leaving were reasonable, but they were real.”
“Where did you go?”
“Somewhere I thought I’d be safe.”
“And you’ll go back there, which is why you won’t tell,” she guessed.
I nodded and looked away. I couldn’t handle the look in her eyes that begged me to stay. It wasn’t possible. Especially now that Dash was getting married.
“You know he won’t marry her.”
“That’s what you said last time,” I pointed out.
“And I really believed it as much then as I do now. How could he when he has found you again?”
“But he didn’t find me.”
“Well, someone did, and it doesn’t matter who takes the credit or… blame. The important thing is you’re back. I just hope you come around in time to save my brother.”
“Your brother is in control of his own fate. He doesn’t have to marry her.”
“But, he thinks he does. He has this unhealthy sense of duty and never learned how to chase his own happiness until you.”
“I’m nothing more than a guilty pleasure.”
“Don’t undersell yourself when it comes to Dash. Think about why you’re still here. He could have let you get on that plane and never see you again. He might have searched forever for you just to know if you were okay.”
“He looked for me?”
“He always denied it, but I know he did. I’ll never understand how you were able to escape my brother.”
“I had some help.”
“Will you ever tell me?”
“I think it would be better if I didn’t.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SUMMER BEFORE SENIOR YEAR
DASH
“MAYBE YOU WOULD like to be gagged,” I reminded her. I was secretly amused at being called so many things in one sentence and was quickly learning that she had a sharp tongue.
“I don’t blame him for that. Not anymore. We’ve talked about it and realized we’ve both made mistakes, and there is nothing we could do to erase the past.”
“Did the both of you agree with that or just you?”
“I’m not following.”
“It’s pretty clear he wants more than to make up for lost time. He’s intelligent enough to know he won’t ever get that back. He’s trying to fill a void.”
“A void that I put there.”
“Don’t be stupid. You both made decisions, but the important thing is that you’re together now. Kennedy had you and now she has the both of you. Don’t fuck that up over ‘what-ifs.’”
“You should take some of your own advice.” She grinned. “What’s going on with you and my brother? That was a pretty intense look he had given you before he left.”
“Nothing is going on. He’s engaged to Rosalyn, which I’m sure you know.”
“He told me at the wedding after telling me that very day that he’d brought her. I’m also grateful the wedding was ruined so I didn’t have to see her there.
“I’m sorry I ruined your wedding. Have you guys decided on a new date?”
“No, and I’m not that sorry.” She shrugged.
“Why not?” I couldn’t conceal the surprise from my tone. Did she not want to marry Keenan? It was undeniable that those two were in love, even more so than before.
“Because I realize now that it wasn’t perfect. You weren’t there with me and now you are.”
“I don’t think my presence would have really made that big of a difference.”
“And that was always the problem, wasn’t it? You underestimate your worth to the people who love and care for you. You probably thought the same when you took off, but you hurt all of us. I just wish you would tell us what we did to make you leave.”
“I just had a lot to figure out. I found someone who could help me do that. I might not have ever come back given the choice, but I don’t blame you.”
“There’s someone?”
I shook my head. “It’s not what you think.”
She nodded, accepting my answer, which wasn’t much of an answer at all. No one knew where I’d gone. Not even my mother.
“What about Lake? Do you blame her?” she blurted.
“Lake hurt me, but it’s not about blame. My decision to leave was for me. I’m not even sure if my feelings or my reaction to her leaving were reasonable, but they were real.”
“Where did you go?”
“Somewhere I thought I’d be safe.”
“And you’ll go back there, which is why you won’t tell,” she guessed.
I nodded and looked away. I couldn’t handle the look in her eyes that begged me to stay. It wasn’t possible. Especially now that Dash was getting married.
“You know he won’t marry her.”
“That’s what you said last time,” I pointed out.
“And I really believed it as much then as I do now. How could he when he has found you again?”
“But he didn’t find me.”
“Well, someone did, and it doesn’t matter who takes the credit or… blame. The important thing is you’re back. I just hope you come around in time to save my brother.”
“Your brother is in control of his own fate. He doesn’t have to marry her.”
“But, he thinks he does. He has this unhealthy sense of duty and never learned how to chase his own happiness until you.”
“I’m nothing more than a guilty pleasure.”
“Don’t undersell yourself when it comes to Dash. Think about why you’re still here. He could have let you get on that plane and never see you again. He might have searched forever for you just to know if you were okay.”
“He looked for me?”
“He always denied it, but I know he did. I’ll never understand how you were able to escape my brother.”
“I had some help.”
“Will you ever tell me?”
“I think it would be better if I didn’t.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SUMMER BEFORE SENIOR YEAR
DASH
“MAYBE YOU WOULD like to be gagged,” I reminded her. I was secretly amused at being called so many things in one sentence and was quickly learning that she had a sharp tongue.
