Breathless In Love
Page 50
“So you’ll just keep on sending your driver to pick him up?”
He shrugged, shook his head slightly, like she wasn’t even making sense. “If that’s what it takes, that’s what we’ll do.”
Did she really have to spell it out for him? “What about when you get tired of doing all this for him?” And what about when you get tired of me? “Buying a Maserati because Jeremy wants it. Dreaming up a job for him. In a few weeks or even months, if you get bored with the whole thing, where will that leave Jeremy? Out in the cold. He’s not going to understand. I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve dated men who befriend him. Then they’re gone. And I don’t want to see Jeremy get hurt like that again.”
“I’ve already told you this, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me—I’m not going to hurt your brother. I promise.”
“Right.” She was on a roll and couldn’t seem to stop. “And I’m just supposed to take your word on that.”
Something changed in him then. After she’d freaked out, he’d been on the defensive, trying to explain himself, trying to get her to understand that he’d meant no harm. But now, it looked like she’d managed to wound him.
“My word means everything. I do not break it.” He held her gaze. “I’m not like the men you’ve dated, Harper. And don’t forget, I met Jeremy first, not you. He wrote to me. I liked what I read. So what’s between you and me has nothing to do with him.” Will held up his hands. “You’re right that I should have talked to you first. But I wouldn’t have given him the job if I didn’t think it would be something new and different for him to try. He can stretch himself. He might even be fine for a few hours by himself. You’ve got to see that he’s capable of pushing himself to do more. Is there something you’re afraid of, Harper? Something I haven’t figured out yet? You know your brother a hell of a lot better than I do. What am I not seeing?”
He sounded so reasonable and his explanations so good. Which made her feel churlish on top of everything else. He had a way of making her feel totally out of control, whether it was over Jeremy, or on the hood of his car, or while practically naked on her living room sofa.
Honestly, at this point, she wasn’t sure there was much Will wasn’t seeing. Not when it sometimes felt as though his dark eyes could see all the way through every wall she’d built up.
Finally, she told him, “I’m just afraid of seeing Jeremy hurt.”
And yet she hadn’t been there to rescue her brother today. Will had done that. And then he’d come up with a solution. One that she knew she had to consider, especially if there was a chance that what he offered might truly be the best thing for Jeremy.
Harper had always been afraid change wasn’t good for her brother. But what if she was wrong about what Jeremy needed? And what if the problem was more that she wasn’t fond of change herself? Especially after all that had happened in the wake of his accident and then their parents’ deaths.
She worked to swallow the emotions threatening to rise up in her throat and strangle her. And as her head of steam finally began to peter out, she realized the injustice of what she’d been saying. Will had only ever been good to Jeremy. He was endlessly patient as he showed her brother how to do each new task on the car. He was never short with him on Skype. He was always considerate of his feelings. And he was the one who’d discovered the problem at the store.
That was why she’d gone off on him. Not just because he’d screwed up by not checking with her first about the new job, but because she was so damned guilty over her own failures. It was humbling to realize she needed to put her own ego aside—the decision had to be about what was best for Jeremy, nothing else.
“I might have been a bit hasty just now,” she admitted. “You’re right that a new job might be good for him. And that it might expand his horizons.” But she’d still ask if Jeremy wanted the job as badly as Will needed to give it to him.
“It might be good for you, too, Harper.” He came close again, his body heat enveloping her. Cupping her face in his hands, he held her steady, captured her with that dark, commanding gaze. Mesmerized her. “Your brother has you to protect him. But who looks out for you?”
“I do.” But she honestly didn’t know if she was any better at that than she was at taking care of Jeremy.
“Let me help.” His voice was just short of a whisper.
She felt herself weakening, bending, needing, longing. But if she allowed Will to take over even a little, what if she lost herself completely?
And then, when he was gone, what if she couldn’t manage to find her way back?
“You’re doing enough already for Jeremy,” she said softly. She had to draw on the iron will she’d developed over the past few years to force herself to step out of his arms. “Thank you for picking him up and feeding both of us. Thanks for cleaning up my house, too. You went above and beyond tonight, Will, and I appreciate it. But it’s been a long day, so...”
He stared at her for a long moment, one where she got the sense he was trying to decide between kissing her—or letting her kick him out again. She knew it was bad that she was secretly hoping for the former...and that she was so disappointed when he chose the latter.
“Say good-night to Jeremy for me.”
“I will.”
“You won’t be coming to work on the car this weekend, will you?”
He shrugged, shook his head slightly, like she wasn’t even making sense. “If that’s what it takes, that’s what we’ll do.”
Did she really have to spell it out for him? “What about when you get tired of doing all this for him?” And what about when you get tired of me? “Buying a Maserati because Jeremy wants it. Dreaming up a job for him. In a few weeks or even months, if you get bored with the whole thing, where will that leave Jeremy? Out in the cold. He’s not going to understand. I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve dated men who befriend him. Then they’re gone. And I don’t want to see Jeremy get hurt like that again.”
“I’ve already told you this, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me—I’m not going to hurt your brother. I promise.”
“Right.” She was on a roll and couldn’t seem to stop. “And I’m just supposed to take your word on that.”
Something changed in him then. After she’d freaked out, he’d been on the defensive, trying to explain himself, trying to get her to understand that he’d meant no harm. But now, it looked like she’d managed to wound him.
“My word means everything. I do not break it.” He held her gaze. “I’m not like the men you’ve dated, Harper. And don’t forget, I met Jeremy first, not you. He wrote to me. I liked what I read. So what’s between you and me has nothing to do with him.” Will held up his hands. “You’re right that I should have talked to you first. But I wouldn’t have given him the job if I didn’t think it would be something new and different for him to try. He can stretch himself. He might even be fine for a few hours by himself. You’ve got to see that he’s capable of pushing himself to do more. Is there something you’re afraid of, Harper? Something I haven’t figured out yet? You know your brother a hell of a lot better than I do. What am I not seeing?”
He sounded so reasonable and his explanations so good. Which made her feel churlish on top of everything else. He had a way of making her feel totally out of control, whether it was over Jeremy, or on the hood of his car, or while practically naked on her living room sofa.
Honestly, at this point, she wasn’t sure there was much Will wasn’t seeing. Not when it sometimes felt as though his dark eyes could see all the way through every wall she’d built up.
Finally, she told him, “I’m just afraid of seeing Jeremy hurt.”
And yet she hadn’t been there to rescue her brother today. Will had done that. And then he’d come up with a solution. One that she knew she had to consider, especially if there was a chance that what he offered might truly be the best thing for Jeremy.
Harper had always been afraid change wasn’t good for her brother. But what if she was wrong about what Jeremy needed? And what if the problem was more that she wasn’t fond of change herself? Especially after all that had happened in the wake of his accident and then their parents’ deaths.
She worked to swallow the emotions threatening to rise up in her throat and strangle her. And as her head of steam finally began to peter out, she realized the injustice of what she’d been saying. Will had only ever been good to Jeremy. He was endlessly patient as he showed her brother how to do each new task on the car. He was never short with him on Skype. He was always considerate of his feelings. And he was the one who’d discovered the problem at the store.
That was why she’d gone off on him. Not just because he’d screwed up by not checking with her first about the new job, but because she was so damned guilty over her own failures. It was humbling to realize she needed to put her own ego aside—the decision had to be about what was best for Jeremy, nothing else.
“I might have been a bit hasty just now,” she admitted. “You’re right that a new job might be good for him. And that it might expand his horizons.” But she’d still ask if Jeremy wanted the job as badly as Will needed to give it to him.
“It might be good for you, too, Harper.” He came close again, his body heat enveloping her. Cupping her face in his hands, he held her steady, captured her with that dark, commanding gaze. Mesmerized her. “Your brother has you to protect him. But who looks out for you?”
“I do.” But she honestly didn’t know if she was any better at that than she was at taking care of Jeremy.
“Let me help.” His voice was just short of a whisper.
She felt herself weakening, bending, needing, longing. But if she allowed Will to take over even a little, what if she lost herself completely?
And then, when he was gone, what if she couldn’t manage to find her way back?
“You’re doing enough already for Jeremy,” she said softly. She had to draw on the iron will she’d developed over the past few years to force herself to step out of his arms. “Thank you for picking him up and feeding both of us. Thanks for cleaning up my house, too. You went above and beyond tonight, Will, and I appreciate it. But it’s been a long day, so...”
He stared at her for a long moment, one where she got the sense he was trying to decide between kissing her—or letting her kick him out again. She knew it was bad that she was secretly hoping for the former...and that she was so disappointed when he chose the latter.
“Say good-night to Jeremy for me.”
“I will.”
“You won’t be coming to work on the car this weekend, will you?”
