Breathless In Love
Page 80
“I’m so sorry, Harper. I shouldn’t have let this happen.”
The cords of her neck were taut, and her mouth thinned to a hard line. She was biting on the inside of her lip, as if she was trying to keep everything in.
He didn’t know what to do for her. He’d been so busy on the phone calling absolutely everyone he could think of to help that every other thought had been pushed out of his mind. But now there was nothing left to do but wait. Nothing left to say except that he’d screwed up royally.
Finally, she spoke. “This trip was ill-advised. I shouldn’t have agreed.” The coffee sat untouched in front of her, the steam fading, the cream rising to the top and coagulating.
He wanted to rewind back to the day he’d asked her to come with him. He shouldn’t have pushed her to come. He should have accepted her excuses. “We’ll find him, Harper. He’ll be okay.”
As if he hadn’t spoken, she continued, “Letting him go up to the city to work every day, where I wasn’t close by if he needed me—that was wrong, too.”
Will had loved the routine and Jeremy’s happy chatter when they’d picked up dinner on the way home to Harper. Those quiet evenings sitting with her on the sofa, her body tucked close to his, had been the best he’d ever known.
But she was regretting it all.
“He was better off at the grocery store,” she said in a firm tone. “He was better off with his regular routines.”
Will had been telling himself the same thing, that he should have had the clerk fired and left Jeremy where he was. Where everything was familiar to him. But no, he had to have what he wanted. He had to choose the method, the job, fix the problem. He had to stick his nose into her affairs.
And he’d screwed up every damn thing.
“I didn’t even call him.” Her voice was higher, harsher.
Every word out of her mouth killed another piece of him. “It’s not your fault, Harper. I was wrong. I didn’t think. We should have called him together.”
“I’m not blaming you.” Her cheeks were tinged an angry pink. “I’m talking about my choices. I should have listened to my instincts.”
Instead, she’d listened to his. And now, they were here, waiting, fearing.
Just that quickly, the anger, the hardness, the grim set of her mouth drained away, replaced by a pool of tears welling at the rims of her eyes. “Oh God, Will, what if something terrible has happened to him?”
“He’s going to be fine, Harper. We’ll find him.” But he knew they were useless words when they were stuck thirty thousand feet in the air.
And when her tears spilled over, he didn’t think, just instinctively rose, stepping around the table, to reach for her.
Her hands shot out and she pushed against his chest before he could even get close enough to put his arms around her. She whirled in the swivel chair, away from him, getting out on the other side as she scraped the tears off her cheeks.
Will froze. Every muscle, every organ, the breath in his lungs, the beat of his heart. He wanted to calm her, comfort her, take her in his arms and stroke her hair. He wanted to promise her that everything would be all right. But he’d already broken every promise he’d made to her, because Jeremy was gone.
“You’re right.” Each word was raw. Broken. “I should take a nap. Or at least lie down for a while.”
“That’ll be good.” He could barely keep himself from begging her to let him hold her. To let him try to do whatever he could to take her pain away. “Take the pill. Then you won’t be lying there with a bunch of worries running through your mind.” It was a pathetic offer, and he felt as helpless as he’d been as a kid, with no right words to say, no action to take, nothing to do to fix things. “I’ll wake you with any news.”
If anything happened to her brother…
No, he couldn’t let himself think that way. He had to believe that Jeremy would be found, that he was fine, just as he’d told Harper. Because if Will allowed any other scenario into his head, he wouldn’t make it through the flight.
Harper walked to his cabin with slumped shoulders. Defeated. He’d done that to her. He’d done it to Jeremy. He thought he knew best. He planned and arranged and argued until he got what he wanted. He’d dragged her into his life when she clearly hadn’t wanted it, not in the beginning, at least. But he’d made her want it.
The bedroom door closed with a click he could hear over the jet engines, one that sounded so final. Like the lock closing back down on a heart that had only just been set free.
She’d lain in his arms last night and whispered that she loved him. But it hadn’t taken Will more than a couple of hours to show her that he didn’t deserve her love.
* * *
Harper didn’t think she’d sleep. Yet she was aware of nothing until Will stroked her arm. He sat beside her on the bed, his phone in his hand, not touching her except for that one brief caress.
“They found him. Your brother is all right. He’s just fine, Harper. Totally fine.”
She put a hand to her mouth to stifle the cry. The sudden wave of relief was physical, a warm rush of sensation that seemed to flow up from her belly and wrap around her heart. Oh God, thank you, thank you, thank you. She’d been praying when she’d fallen asleep.
“He wants to talk to you.”
She grabbed the phone. “Jeremy?”
“Hi, Harper.” Jeremy’s voice was loud, as though he wasn’t still thousands of miles away.
The cords of her neck were taut, and her mouth thinned to a hard line. She was biting on the inside of her lip, as if she was trying to keep everything in.
He didn’t know what to do for her. He’d been so busy on the phone calling absolutely everyone he could think of to help that every other thought had been pushed out of his mind. But now there was nothing left to do but wait. Nothing left to say except that he’d screwed up royally.
Finally, she spoke. “This trip was ill-advised. I shouldn’t have agreed.” The coffee sat untouched in front of her, the steam fading, the cream rising to the top and coagulating.
He wanted to rewind back to the day he’d asked her to come with him. He shouldn’t have pushed her to come. He should have accepted her excuses. “We’ll find him, Harper. He’ll be okay.”
As if he hadn’t spoken, she continued, “Letting him go up to the city to work every day, where I wasn’t close by if he needed me—that was wrong, too.”
Will had loved the routine and Jeremy’s happy chatter when they’d picked up dinner on the way home to Harper. Those quiet evenings sitting with her on the sofa, her body tucked close to his, had been the best he’d ever known.
But she was regretting it all.
“He was better off at the grocery store,” she said in a firm tone. “He was better off with his regular routines.”
Will had been telling himself the same thing, that he should have had the clerk fired and left Jeremy where he was. Where everything was familiar to him. But no, he had to have what he wanted. He had to choose the method, the job, fix the problem. He had to stick his nose into her affairs.
And he’d screwed up every damn thing.
“I didn’t even call him.” Her voice was higher, harsher.
Every word out of her mouth killed another piece of him. “It’s not your fault, Harper. I was wrong. I didn’t think. We should have called him together.”
“I’m not blaming you.” Her cheeks were tinged an angry pink. “I’m talking about my choices. I should have listened to my instincts.”
Instead, she’d listened to his. And now, they were here, waiting, fearing.
Just that quickly, the anger, the hardness, the grim set of her mouth drained away, replaced by a pool of tears welling at the rims of her eyes. “Oh God, Will, what if something terrible has happened to him?”
“He’s going to be fine, Harper. We’ll find him.” But he knew they were useless words when they were stuck thirty thousand feet in the air.
And when her tears spilled over, he didn’t think, just instinctively rose, stepping around the table, to reach for her.
Her hands shot out and she pushed against his chest before he could even get close enough to put his arms around her. She whirled in the swivel chair, away from him, getting out on the other side as she scraped the tears off her cheeks.
Will froze. Every muscle, every organ, the breath in his lungs, the beat of his heart. He wanted to calm her, comfort her, take her in his arms and stroke her hair. He wanted to promise her that everything would be all right. But he’d already broken every promise he’d made to her, because Jeremy was gone.
“You’re right.” Each word was raw. Broken. “I should take a nap. Or at least lie down for a while.”
“That’ll be good.” He could barely keep himself from begging her to let him hold her. To let him try to do whatever he could to take her pain away. “Take the pill. Then you won’t be lying there with a bunch of worries running through your mind.” It was a pathetic offer, and he felt as helpless as he’d been as a kid, with no right words to say, no action to take, nothing to do to fix things. “I’ll wake you with any news.”
If anything happened to her brother…
No, he couldn’t let himself think that way. He had to believe that Jeremy would be found, that he was fine, just as he’d told Harper. Because if Will allowed any other scenario into his head, he wouldn’t make it through the flight.
Harper walked to his cabin with slumped shoulders. Defeated. He’d done that to her. He’d done it to Jeremy. He thought he knew best. He planned and arranged and argued until he got what he wanted. He’d dragged her into his life when she clearly hadn’t wanted it, not in the beginning, at least. But he’d made her want it.
The bedroom door closed with a click he could hear over the jet engines, one that sounded so final. Like the lock closing back down on a heart that had only just been set free.
She’d lain in his arms last night and whispered that she loved him. But it hadn’t taken Will more than a couple of hours to show her that he didn’t deserve her love.
* * *
Harper didn’t think she’d sleep. Yet she was aware of nothing until Will stroked her arm. He sat beside her on the bed, his phone in his hand, not touching her except for that one brief caress.
“They found him. Your brother is all right. He’s just fine, Harper. Totally fine.”
She put a hand to her mouth to stifle the cry. The sudden wave of relief was physical, a warm rush of sensation that seemed to flow up from her belly and wrap around her heart. Oh God, thank you, thank you, thank you. She’d been praying when she’d fallen asleep.
“He wants to talk to you.”
She grabbed the phone. “Jeremy?”
“Hi, Harper.” Jeremy’s voice was loud, as though he wasn’t still thousands of miles away.
