Breathless In Love
Page 82
And the fact was, he should have prepared his employees better. Much better. He should have stressed that Jeremy was disabled. Only, Will didn’t think of him that way, and the idea of putting any stigma on him by giving his issues a name hadn’t sat well, especially after the grocery store incident.
Now, Will knew that the clerk should have called him an idiot instead of Jeremy. Because being clear regarding Jeremy’s limitations wasn’t about stigma. It was about ensuring his safety.
He took another slug, let it burn, then catalogued over and over the mistakes he’d made during the past two months. Mistakes that had just cost him the love of his life and a boy who had become very important to him, as well.
When they were forty-five minutes out of SFO, Will ordered breakfast, and his crew had it waiting so that Harper could eat before they landed. He knocked lightly on the door to let her know.
“Did you sleep?”
She nodded. She didn’t talk much. She didn’t eat much either. It would have been easier if she’d yelled it all out, reamed him a new one. He was used to Harper speaking her mind. But she was completely closed off from him now, the lounge of his jet seeming as big as a cavern between them.
He knew what he needed to do. He wasn’t good for them. He didn’t deserve them.
But how could he ever get the words out to let her go when she was everything he’d ever wanted? Everything he’d ever needed.
They landed. He thanked his crew. He didn’t dare touch Harper, not even to help her down the stairs.
Benny had the car waiting on the tarmac. And Jeremy ran over the moment he saw Harper, throwing himself into her arms.
The lump in Will’s throat grew larger, the tightness in his chest clenching harder. Harper and Jeremy were a family that he wasn’t a part of. That he would never be a part of.
“I’m sorry, Harper. Don’t be mad, okay? I won’t do it again.” Jeremy stepped back, his lips pressed together in a sad pout. “Mrs. Taylor said I scared everyone.”
“You did.” Will noticed how gentle Harper kept her voice, even though it was clear she was still right there on the verge of shattering. “You know you shouldn’t go anywhere without your phone. We’ve talked a lot about that.”
His head drooped on his neck, and he wagged it back and forth. “I know.”
“And what do you say to Will?”
Turning, his shoulders slumped, he was like a puppy who’d been picked on by his littermates. “I’m sorry, Will. Do you still love me?”
His father had burned all the tears out of him years ago, but Jeremy’s words brought him closer to crying than he’d come since his mother died. “Yeah, buddy, you know I do.” His voice sounded odd, the words choked. “Let’s get you home. Your sister’s had a long night.”
“Sure, Will.” Jeremy skipped back to the car, where Benny was stowing their two bags in the trunk. “Have you ever been to the Exploratorium?”
“Once, years ago.”
“It’s so cool, isn’t it?”
Will opened the car door for Harper, then let Jeremy climb into the back with her to give them time together, while Will took the front seat next to Benny. Jeremy chattered about his adventure for the entire drive down the Peninsula. He’d said he was sorry, and now he could be excited over everything he’d seen and done. It amazed Will that he could so easily forget how lost he’d been, how frightened.
It was what Will would always love about him—his boundless enthusiasm, and the way he never held onto anger or sadness. But just because he loved him, didn’t mean he was any better for Jeremy than he was for Harper.
When they arrived at her house, Harper let herself out of the car. Reaching into her purse, she handed her keys to Jeremy. “Why don’t you run and unlock the door for us?”
“Sure, Harper.”
Benny retrieved her case from the trunk and pulled up the roller handle for her, before getting back into the car to give them privacy.
“Thanks, Benny.” She took it with a slight smile that died when she turned to Will. “I think Jeremy should stay home from work for a few days while I reevaluate the situation.”
He felt the nails of his coffin driving into him, even though he’d already known that he had to let her go. Let them both go. But Harper was doing it for him. Because they both knew what the result of her reevaluation would be.
“Right, I understand,” he said, even though he didn’t understand a damn thing—especially not how he could have lost something so precious. So amazing.
Jeremy waved at him from the front door. “’Bye, Will. ’Bye, Benny.”
As Harper rolled her case away, Will climbed into the car and watched her through the window, her back straight, head high.
“Where to, sir?” Benny turned the mirror slightly to look at him.
But there was nowhere to go. Because everything Will had ever truly wanted, he’d just had to leave behind.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
“We have to talk, Jeremy.”
Harper sat him down in the living room almost as soon as Will left them.
Left them.
She closed her eyes for one brief second, the impact of it hitting her as though her heart were being crushed inside her chest. There’d been something so final in their parting.
But she couldn’t think about that now. Couldn’t think about Will, couldn’t want him, couldn’t need him anymore. She had to think about Jeremy. He was her number one priority.
Now, Will knew that the clerk should have called him an idiot instead of Jeremy. Because being clear regarding Jeremy’s limitations wasn’t about stigma. It was about ensuring his safety.
He took another slug, let it burn, then catalogued over and over the mistakes he’d made during the past two months. Mistakes that had just cost him the love of his life and a boy who had become very important to him, as well.
When they were forty-five minutes out of SFO, Will ordered breakfast, and his crew had it waiting so that Harper could eat before they landed. He knocked lightly on the door to let her know.
“Did you sleep?”
She nodded. She didn’t talk much. She didn’t eat much either. It would have been easier if she’d yelled it all out, reamed him a new one. He was used to Harper speaking her mind. But she was completely closed off from him now, the lounge of his jet seeming as big as a cavern between them.
He knew what he needed to do. He wasn’t good for them. He didn’t deserve them.
But how could he ever get the words out to let her go when she was everything he’d ever wanted? Everything he’d ever needed.
They landed. He thanked his crew. He didn’t dare touch Harper, not even to help her down the stairs.
Benny had the car waiting on the tarmac. And Jeremy ran over the moment he saw Harper, throwing himself into her arms.
The lump in Will’s throat grew larger, the tightness in his chest clenching harder. Harper and Jeremy were a family that he wasn’t a part of. That he would never be a part of.
“I’m sorry, Harper. Don’t be mad, okay? I won’t do it again.” Jeremy stepped back, his lips pressed together in a sad pout. “Mrs. Taylor said I scared everyone.”
“You did.” Will noticed how gentle Harper kept her voice, even though it was clear she was still right there on the verge of shattering. “You know you shouldn’t go anywhere without your phone. We’ve talked a lot about that.”
His head drooped on his neck, and he wagged it back and forth. “I know.”
“And what do you say to Will?”
Turning, his shoulders slumped, he was like a puppy who’d been picked on by his littermates. “I’m sorry, Will. Do you still love me?”
His father had burned all the tears out of him years ago, but Jeremy’s words brought him closer to crying than he’d come since his mother died. “Yeah, buddy, you know I do.” His voice sounded odd, the words choked. “Let’s get you home. Your sister’s had a long night.”
“Sure, Will.” Jeremy skipped back to the car, where Benny was stowing their two bags in the trunk. “Have you ever been to the Exploratorium?”
“Once, years ago.”
“It’s so cool, isn’t it?”
Will opened the car door for Harper, then let Jeremy climb into the back with her to give them time together, while Will took the front seat next to Benny. Jeremy chattered about his adventure for the entire drive down the Peninsula. He’d said he was sorry, and now he could be excited over everything he’d seen and done. It amazed Will that he could so easily forget how lost he’d been, how frightened.
It was what Will would always love about him—his boundless enthusiasm, and the way he never held onto anger or sadness. But just because he loved him, didn’t mean he was any better for Jeremy than he was for Harper.
When they arrived at her house, Harper let herself out of the car. Reaching into her purse, she handed her keys to Jeremy. “Why don’t you run and unlock the door for us?”
“Sure, Harper.”
Benny retrieved her case from the trunk and pulled up the roller handle for her, before getting back into the car to give them privacy.
“Thanks, Benny.” She took it with a slight smile that died when she turned to Will. “I think Jeremy should stay home from work for a few days while I reevaluate the situation.”
He felt the nails of his coffin driving into him, even though he’d already known that he had to let her go. Let them both go. But Harper was doing it for him. Because they both knew what the result of her reevaluation would be.
“Right, I understand,” he said, even though he didn’t understand a damn thing—especially not how he could have lost something so precious. So amazing.
Jeremy waved at him from the front door. “’Bye, Will. ’Bye, Benny.”
As Harper rolled her case away, Will climbed into the car and watched her through the window, her back straight, head high.
“Where to, sir?” Benny turned the mirror slightly to look at him.
But there was nowhere to go. Because everything Will had ever truly wanted, he’d just had to leave behind.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
“We have to talk, Jeremy.”
Harper sat him down in the living room almost as soon as Will left them.
Left them.
She closed her eyes for one brief second, the impact of it hitting her as though her heart were being crushed inside her chest. There’d been something so final in their parting.
But she couldn’t think about that now. Couldn’t think about Will, couldn’t want him, couldn’t need him anymore. She had to think about Jeremy. He was her number one priority.
