Brighter Than the Sun
Page 50
“Then I think you have your answer. Are you going to give up any chance you have at a happy life with the man you love because you’re afraid of all the what-ifs? Or are you going to get off your ass and take a chance and lay it all on the line?”
“You really think I should just . . . tell him? Everything?” Zoe asked uneasily.
“Every single word. From your father right down to the shithead Sebastian. Not only can he and my other brothers help you, but honey, they will help you. Even if you meant nothing to Joe, and that’s clearly not the case, they would still help you. It’s who they are and what they do.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Zoe said miserably.
“It is,” Rusty said. “It’s only hard if you make it difficult. But honey, listen to me. Joe loves you. That much is clear to anyone who has eyeballs. He’s going to swear a blue streak and make all kinds of threats against humanity, but listen to me. None of his anger and rage will be directed at you. He’ll want to storm off and go kick the ever-loving shit out of Sebastian and then go stomp all over your father, and I’m sure my other brothers will have to sit on him—that is, after they’ve stopped making their own threats against everyone who’s ever wronged you. But he’ll be so freaking thrilled that you trusted him and that you gave him that last part of you he knows he doesn’t have yet.”
“You sound so sure,” Zoe said doubtfully.
“I am!” she said in exasperation. “Do you want me to write it out in blood? Or maybe we should make a blood pact between us.”
Zoe laughed. “Only if it includes whatever the latest development is between you and a certain hot sheriff named Sean Cameron.”
Rusty’s expression became murderous, but behind the anger was so much hurt that Zoe winced at the raw emotion flaring in her friend’s eyes.
“What happened?” Zoe asked softly.
Rusty sighed and then flopped backward onto the bed, spreading her arms outward.
“He’s making me crazy. I told you about The Kiss.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, ever since The Kiss, he’s spared no opportunity to put as much distance between me and him as possible. The length he goes to to avoid me is ridiculous, not to mention childish and beneath a grown-ass man who’s an elected sheriff.”
Zoe frowned. “It didn’t seem to me like he was avoiding you at the barbecue. In fact, it looked like you were the one doing the avoiding.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because all of a sudden he stopped avoiding me and I was merely giving him a dose of his own medicine. Turns out he doesn’t like it very much. Imagine that.”
Zoe burst out laughing. “Oh, I get it. So you’ll jump all over me about sacrificing my wants and desires out of misplaced guilt, but you’re sacrificing your wants and desires out of petty revenge?”
“It’s a good enough reason.” Rusty sniffed.
“Okay, I’ll give you that one. He has been an ass ever since The Kiss.”
“Damn straight.”
“So, when are you going to let him off the hook?”
Rusty lifted herself up to prop up on her elbows. “Huh? Who said I was doing any such thing?”
Zoe rolled her eyes. “Come on, girlfriend. Like you haven’t had serious fantasies about ‘the copper’ ever since you were a teenager?”
Rusty flushed and ducked her gaze. “I seriously regret ever telling you just how long I’ve had this stupid crush on Sean,” she muttered.
“Crush? I’d think you were well beyond that stage by now,” Zoe said gently. “Admit it. You’re in love with him.”
Rusty grimaced. “You ever tell anyone that and I’ll kill you myself. Joe may never forgive me, but I can live with that.”
“It seems to me that you need a dose of your own medicine,” Zoe pointed out.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rusty grumbled.
“You’re over here giving me advice on not letting go of love and just putting it all on the line. So take your own advice. He’s decided to stop avoiding you. Aren’t you curious as to why? Stop avoiding him and confront him in a place at a time where he can’t possibly back away from you and lay it out. Don’t take no for an answer or let him dodge the question. What have you got to lose?”
“Everything,” Rusty said softly. “Right now I can imagine all kinds of reasons why he’s avoided me at every turn after giving me the most scorching, toe-curling kiss of my life. But imagining and knowing are two different things. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me?”
“I’d like to point out here that you may think you know how Joe feels but we don’t know for sure, and yet you want me to put everything out there and risk getting shot down. And that’s what you’re afraid of, isn’t it? Him shooting you down.”
“Bingo,” Rusty said, her voice so low Zoe could barely hear her.
“I get it,” she said, reaching for Rusty’s hand. “But wouldn’t you rather know one way or the other? That way if he does give you the brush-off then you can close that door for good. Move on with your life and get over him and find someone who will appreciate you for the wonderfully awesome, insanely intelligent, beautiful woman you are.”
“It’s hard to imagine ever feeling for another man what I feel for Sean,” Rusty said, tears forming in her eyes again. “Oh God, Zoe. If he rejects me again, it’ll crush me, and nothing has ever been able to crush me and keep me down in my life. Not my bitch of a mother. Not my shithead of a stepfather. None of the other assholes who tried to take advantage of a barely teenaged girl. But him rejecting me could.”
“You really think I should just . . . tell him? Everything?” Zoe asked uneasily.
“Every single word. From your father right down to the shithead Sebastian. Not only can he and my other brothers help you, but honey, they will help you. Even if you meant nothing to Joe, and that’s clearly not the case, they would still help you. It’s who they are and what they do.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Zoe said miserably.
“It is,” Rusty said. “It’s only hard if you make it difficult. But honey, listen to me. Joe loves you. That much is clear to anyone who has eyeballs. He’s going to swear a blue streak and make all kinds of threats against humanity, but listen to me. None of his anger and rage will be directed at you. He’ll want to storm off and go kick the ever-loving shit out of Sebastian and then go stomp all over your father, and I’m sure my other brothers will have to sit on him—that is, after they’ve stopped making their own threats against everyone who’s ever wronged you. But he’ll be so freaking thrilled that you trusted him and that you gave him that last part of you he knows he doesn’t have yet.”
“You sound so sure,” Zoe said doubtfully.
“I am!” she said in exasperation. “Do you want me to write it out in blood? Or maybe we should make a blood pact between us.”
Zoe laughed. “Only if it includes whatever the latest development is between you and a certain hot sheriff named Sean Cameron.”
Rusty’s expression became murderous, but behind the anger was so much hurt that Zoe winced at the raw emotion flaring in her friend’s eyes.
“What happened?” Zoe asked softly.
Rusty sighed and then flopped backward onto the bed, spreading her arms outward.
“He’s making me crazy. I told you about The Kiss.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, ever since The Kiss, he’s spared no opportunity to put as much distance between me and him as possible. The length he goes to to avoid me is ridiculous, not to mention childish and beneath a grown-ass man who’s an elected sheriff.”
Zoe frowned. “It didn’t seem to me like he was avoiding you at the barbecue. In fact, it looked like you were the one doing the avoiding.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because all of a sudden he stopped avoiding me and I was merely giving him a dose of his own medicine. Turns out he doesn’t like it very much. Imagine that.”
Zoe burst out laughing. “Oh, I get it. So you’ll jump all over me about sacrificing my wants and desires out of misplaced guilt, but you’re sacrificing your wants and desires out of petty revenge?”
“It’s a good enough reason.” Rusty sniffed.
“Okay, I’ll give you that one. He has been an ass ever since The Kiss.”
“Damn straight.”
“So, when are you going to let him off the hook?”
Rusty lifted herself up to prop up on her elbows. “Huh? Who said I was doing any such thing?”
Zoe rolled her eyes. “Come on, girlfriend. Like you haven’t had serious fantasies about ‘the copper’ ever since you were a teenager?”
Rusty flushed and ducked her gaze. “I seriously regret ever telling you just how long I’ve had this stupid crush on Sean,” she muttered.
“Crush? I’d think you were well beyond that stage by now,” Zoe said gently. “Admit it. You’re in love with him.”
Rusty grimaced. “You ever tell anyone that and I’ll kill you myself. Joe may never forgive me, but I can live with that.”
“It seems to me that you need a dose of your own medicine,” Zoe pointed out.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rusty grumbled.
“You’re over here giving me advice on not letting go of love and just putting it all on the line. So take your own advice. He’s decided to stop avoiding you. Aren’t you curious as to why? Stop avoiding him and confront him in a place at a time where he can’t possibly back away from you and lay it out. Don’t take no for an answer or let him dodge the question. What have you got to lose?”
“Everything,” Rusty said softly. “Right now I can imagine all kinds of reasons why he’s avoided me at every turn after giving me the most scorching, toe-curling kiss of my life. But imagining and knowing are two different things. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me?”
“I’d like to point out here that you may think you know how Joe feels but we don’t know for sure, and yet you want me to put everything out there and risk getting shot down. And that’s what you’re afraid of, isn’t it? Him shooting you down.”
“Bingo,” Rusty said, her voice so low Zoe could barely hear her.
“I get it,” she said, reaching for Rusty’s hand. “But wouldn’t you rather know one way or the other? That way if he does give you the brush-off then you can close that door for good. Move on with your life and get over him and find someone who will appreciate you for the wonderfully awesome, insanely intelligent, beautiful woman you are.”
“It’s hard to imagine ever feeling for another man what I feel for Sean,” Rusty said, tears forming in her eyes again. “Oh God, Zoe. If he rejects me again, it’ll crush me, and nothing has ever been able to crush me and keep me down in my life. Not my bitch of a mother. Not my shithead of a stepfather. None of the other assholes who tried to take advantage of a barely teenaged girl. But him rejecting me could.”
