Broken and Screwed 2
Page 18
Getting out, I grabbed my purse, but Jesse took it from me. He opened his trunk and tossed it in, then took my hand in his. “You don’t need that in here.”
Which was code in Jesse’s world as, please don’t bring your phone. Little did he know that no one called me anymore. He’d been the only one in my history over the last week.
Loud music met us when we stepped inside, but it was dark. The only light was on the stage as a guy was singing into a microphone, bending over with it. He had a smooth tone that sounded like a caress to my ears. He was good. Jesse led me to a back table and we sat side by side. He leaned against the wall and he pulled me against him with an arm curved around my waist. We sat there and listened longer, this band was really good.
When they switched to a different song, one that I recognized, I bolted upright and twisted around. “This is Braille.” Even I knew who these guys were and I never paid attention, but this band had exploded a year ago. They’d been some of my only company the summer before I came to school. Jesse gave a small smile as he ran his thumb down the side of my cheek, then he pulled me back against him. Settling back in, his chest lifted as he took in a deep breath.
His hand fell back to mine and interlaced together.
A girl came over and nodded towards Jesse. “You here just to hang out? You want something to drink?”
“Water for me. You want something?” he asked me.
“Uh,” I was battling against being star struck. These were normal guys, just like Jesse. Jesse was a normal guy. That last thought helped calm me down. They were normal, and they didn’t know me. When I jerked my gaze from the stage to the girl, she was grinning. I wondered how often she dealt with girls like me. “Yeah. I’ll have water too.”
“You guys sure? Luke stocked the refrigerator. We have more than enough.”
“No, thanks.” Jesse’s voice sounded close to my ear and I shivered. It was caressing. His arm shifted, pulling me tighter to him. “Thanks, Bri.”
She nodded before she walked away with a sexy saunter to her hips.
I peeked to see if Jesse was watching, but his eyes were closed. His chest lifted back up in another deep breath. I sensed that he had come out here to relax, and he’d brought me along with him. That meant something. I couldn’t hide from that, but he had already told me that no one could mean to him what Ethan and I did.
As the band started another song, I blinked back tears.
Jesse was already doing this to me and it’d only been the second time I’d seen him. My parents had shattered me. I didn’t need to go to therapy to know that they killed a part of me when I read that letter. Over the summer, I had survived. That’d been my only thought, to keep going, but since coming to school, things were better. A little bit better and now, with him, they were becoming more than a little bit. But with that new hope, new terror had begun to build with it.
He’d leave. They always left. What then?
I gripped onto his hand as if he were going to go right then and there.
What would I do?
When I wasn’t with him, I was okay. I was broken, but functioning. I could do that and endure college like that. I’d be fine. And when that would stop, whatever it was…that searing pain rattled against my chest. It wanted to burst through every part of me, every cell in my body. I wasn’t letting it. I pushed it away and then stopped thinking.
I’d take what I could get for now. Maybe enough of me would heal that I wouldn’t be so shattered when he eventually left.
The band played for an hour. They’d stop and discuss sections of a song, then start over again as they implemented the new changes. It was fascinating to watch. We remained at our table without speaking. When Jesse’s chest started to rise up and down at a steady rate, I knew he’d fallen asleep, but I didn’t move away. Bri came over a few times and had a new water bottle for us. After the third time, I started to ease from Jesse’s arm and stood. Bri was talking by a bar with a guy who was stocky and an inch shorter than her, but he had a scar that ran across his entire face. It started at one corner of his forehead and ended underneath his chin on the other side. He saw me first and nodded in my direction. Bri turned around with a friendly smile. She looked around me and her grin softened with fondness. She gestured to Jesse, “Is he sleeping?”
“Yeah.” She wasn’t surprised by that. “Does he do that a lot?”
She shrugged before she slipped behind the bar’s counter. She reached underneath and pulled out a shot glass with a bottle of Whiskey. Filling it up, she slid it towards the stocky guy. “Drink it, Emerson.”
He hadn’t looked particularly friendly before, but a small scowl appeared. He was terrifying now.
He growled at her, “Fuck off, Bri. I’m not drinking that shit.”
Her eyes sparkled as a smile lit up her face. She poured another one for herself. “I’ll take it with you. You lost the bet, fair and square. You have to drink.”
He continued to scowl at the shot glass.
“It’s not going to disappear unless you drink it.” Bri winked at me behind her hand and she held her own glass up. “Come on, you big baby. Luke said you were supposed to take five shots tonight. You’ve got some catching up to do.”
“Luke can kiss my ass.”
His statement would’ve only been heard by the two of us, but the music abruptly stopped right before. Everyone heard it and the lead singer gripped his microphone. He growled into it, “You lost the bet, Emerson. Take your five f**king shots.”
The drummer started a roll as he taunted into his microphone, “Em-er-son. Em-er-son. Em-er-son.”
“You can kiss my ass too, Braden,” he shouted across the warehouse. “Screw all of you. I’m out of here.”
The drummer changed his chant, “Hy-po-crite. Hy-po-crite. Hy-po-crite.”
As he stalked towards the door, past Jesse, Emerson shoved outside. Jesse had woken and looked at the door in confusion.
“Your boy’s awake.” Bri handed the shot to me. “He looks like he needs this more than Emerson did.”
I wanted to ask her more questions, if Jesse did this a lot? When had he started? If they knew anything about him except his name? So many were burning in me, but I took the shot over to him and put it on the table. “That girl, Bri, said you looked like you needed this.”
Which was code in Jesse’s world as, please don’t bring your phone. Little did he know that no one called me anymore. He’d been the only one in my history over the last week.
Loud music met us when we stepped inside, but it was dark. The only light was on the stage as a guy was singing into a microphone, bending over with it. He had a smooth tone that sounded like a caress to my ears. He was good. Jesse led me to a back table and we sat side by side. He leaned against the wall and he pulled me against him with an arm curved around my waist. We sat there and listened longer, this band was really good.
When they switched to a different song, one that I recognized, I bolted upright and twisted around. “This is Braille.” Even I knew who these guys were and I never paid attention, but this band had exploded a year ago. They’d been some of my only company the summer before I came to school. Jesse gave a small smile as he ran his thumb down the side of my cheek, then he pulled me back against him. Settling back in, his chest lifted as he took in a deep breath.
His hand fell back to mine and interlaced together.
A girl came over and nodded towards Jesse. “You here just to hang out? You want something to drink?”
“Water for me. You want something?” he asked me.
“Uh,” I was battling against being star struck. These were normal guys, just like Jesse. Jesse was a normal guy. That last thought helped calm me down. They were normal, and they didn’t know me. When I jerked my gaze from the stage to the girl, she was grinning. I wondered how often she dealt with girls like me. “Yeah. I’ll have water too.”
“You guys sure? Luke stocked the refrigerator. We have more than enough.”
“No, thanks.” Jesse’s voice sounded close to my ear and I shivered. It was caressing. His arm shifted, pulling me tighter to him. “Thanks, Bri.”
She nodded before she walked away with a sexy saunter to her hips.
I peeked to see if Jesse was watching, but his eyes were closed. His chest lifted back up in another deep breath. I sensed that he had come out here to relax, and he’d brought me along with him. That meant something. I couldn’t hide from that, but he had already told me that no one could mean to him what Ethan and I did.
As the band started another song, I blinked back tears.
Jesse was already doing this to me and it’d only been the second time I’d seen him. My parents had shattered me. I didn’t need to go to therapy to know that they killed a part of me when I read that letter. Over the summer, I had survived. That’d been my only thought, to keep going, but since coming to school, things were better. A little bit better and now, with him, they were becoming more than a little bit. But with that new hope, new terror had begun to build with it.
He’d leave. They always left. What then?
I gripped onto his hand as if he were going to go right then and there.
What would I do?
When I wasn’t with him, I was okay. I was broken, but functioning. I could do that and endure college like that. I’d be fine. And when that would stop, whatever it was…that searing pain rattled against my chest. It wanted to burst through every part of me, every cell in my body. I wasn’t letting it. I pushed it away and then stopped thinking.
I’d take what I could get for now. Maybe enough of me would heal that I wouldn’t be so shattered when he eventually left.
The band played for an hour. They’d stop and discuss sections of a song, then start over again as they implemented the new changes. It was fascinating to watch. We remained at our table without speaking. When Jesse’s chest started to rise up and down at a steady rate, I knew he’d fallen asleep, but I didn’t move away. Bri came over a few times and had a new water bottle for us. After the third time, I started to ease from Jesse’s arm and stood. Bri was talking by a bar with a guy who was stocky and an inch shorter than her, but he had a scar that ran across his entire face. It started at one corner of his forehead and ended underneath his chin on the other side. He saw me first and nodded in my direction. Bri turned around with a friendly smile. She looked around me and her grin softened with fondness. She gestured to Jesse, “Is he sleeping?”
“Yeah.” She wasn’t surprised by that. “Does he do that a lot?”
She shrugged before she slipped behind the bar’s counter. She reached underneath and pulled out a shot glass with a bottle of Whiskey. Filling it up, she slid it towards the stocky guy. “Drink it, Emerson.”
He hadn’t looked particularly friendly before, but a small scowl appeared. He was terrifying now.
He growled at her, “Fuck off, Bri. I’m not drinking that shit.”
Her eyes sparkled as a smile lit up her face. She poured another one for herself. “I’ll take it with you. You lost the bet, fair and square. You have to drink.”
He continued to scowl at the shot glass.
“It’s not going to disappear unless you drink it.” Bri winked at me behind her hand and she held her own glass up. “Come on, you big baby. Luke said you were supposed to take five shots tonight. You’ve got some catching up to do.”
“Luke can kiss my ass.”
His statement would’ve only been heard by the two of us, but the music abruptly stopped right before. Everyone heard it and the lead singer gripped his microphone. He growled into it, “You lost the bet, Emerson. Take your five f**king shots.”
The drummer started a roll as he taunted into his microphone, “Em-er-son. Em-er-son. Em-er-son.”
“You can kiss my ass too, Braden,” he shouted across the warehouse. “Screw all of you. I’m out of here.”
The drummer changed his chant, “Hy-po-crite. Hy-po-crite. Hy-po-crite.”
As he stalked towards the door, past Jesse, Emerson shoved outside. Jesse had woken and looked at the door in confusion.
“Your boy’s awake.” Bri handed the shot to me. “He looks like he needs this more than Emerson did.”
I wanted to ask her more questions, if Jesse did this a lot? When had he started? If they knew anything about him except his name? So many were burning in me, but I took the shot over to him and put it on the table. “That girl, Bri, said you looked like you needed this.”
