Broken and Screwed 2
Page 33
“Stop,” I snapped this time.
She blinked. Once. Then she murmured, “You think I’m apologizing for ditching you, don’t you?”
“Aren’t you?”
One shake of the head.
My heart dropped. There was so much more in her gaze and my chest swelled. I didn’t know if I was ready for whatever else she was going to say.
The wind shifted. It grazed against my cheeks, but there was moisture on them as well. I glanced up idly, had it started raining? There were no drops in the sky.
She started out, cautious at first, “I knew what was going on last year.”
My heart plunged all the way to my feet now. She knew. I hadn’t thought anyone knew.
“I worked in the counselor’s office as a teacher’s assistant.” At my look, she explained, “I never said anything. I didn’t want you guys to make fun of me or god forbid, be proud of me. I know. I know. Stupid of me, but I know you and Angie thought I was only some party hussy who could hold her own. I wasn’t. I was messed up. I know that much, but I wanted more.”
She’d gone after Jesse. She slept with Cord instead. Then she dated Eric, only to cheat on him with Cord. Again.
She was right about some of it.
I tucked all that away. That wasn’t the same girl in front of me. Marissa had changed. Sarah had always seemed perfect and now she was another catty bitch. Even Cord changed.
I had changed.
Did nothing stay the same?
“Look,” Marissa kept going. “I was unhappy last year and I was jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Of you and Angie. You two are so close—you two were so close. I was left out all the time. I know Angie called me a slut behind my back. She said it to my face all the time. I messed up. I went after Jesse when I knew you two had a thing. And then Eric was going to ask you out and I got to him first. Then I became friends with Sarah.” She waved in her direction. “And look how she’s turned out.”
I frowned. “Yeah, she seemed so perfect last year. Now she’s…”
Marissa grinned. “Vapid? Shallow? Insecure? Because she’s all three of them. I think she thought if she stayed nice and perfect last year then Jesse would come back.”
I shifted on my feet and shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. Turning away, I muttered, “Yeah, well, they dated for three years.”
“Three years that he hated her.”
“What are you talking about?”
She gave me an incredulous look. “Come on, Alex. You had to have known. I thought you always did and it hurt my feelings. I could never figure out what I’d done so you wouldn’t confide in me, then last year I stopped caring. I stopped caring about a lot of stuff.”
Scratching at the back of my head, a foreboding sensation settled in the middle of my shoulders. It wouldn’t go away as I tried to figure out what she was talking about.
“Jesse.” Her head inclined a notch. “Are you serious?”
What?
“He’s liked you since forever. You never knew?”
“He was with Sarah. Three years, Marissa. He was with her for three years.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t want to be.” She lamented, “Okay, he might’ve liked her in the beginning, but he didn’t for a while after. I heard them fighting one time.”
“Sarah and Jesse?”
“Ethan and Jesse.”
This was the second person to talk about a dispute between my brother and his best friend. It sent daggers through me when Barbie had first said it and it sent daggers through me again. Ice-cold daggers with tips of steel. I didn’t like hearing about any discord between the two and I really didn’t like hearing that my best friend had known. She hadn’t said a word.
My lips were stiff as I demanded, “What are you talking about?”
“Jesse wanted to be with you. Your brother told him to stay away.”
He’d said the same thing to me, but there was a missing piece. I knew it. It was nagging me from the back of my mind. The puzzle wasn’t complete and I was determined to figure it out. With my lips pressed together, I gave her a pointed look. “Thanks for telling me.”
She flushed. “I’m sorry. Again. I was jealous.” She rolled her eyes. “He told Ethan he wanted to break up with Sarah and be with you, but your brother wasn’t having it. He threatened Jesse that if he broke up with Sarah, then he’d say something horrible to you. He was going to turn you against him.” Her laugh was hollow. “Your brother was hardcore, huh?”
Not the Ethan I knew.
Pain tingled at the tips of my fingers and toes. It was slowly working its way through me, all the way to send my heart into a tailspin.
The brother I knew would’ve never kept me from someone I loved.
Oh shit.
I drew in another shuddering breath.
I had loved Jesse then.
Had I stopped when he hadn’t returned my calls? Because I didn’t still love him. I couldn’t.
“You okay?”
I jerked my head in a nod. “Yeah.”
She wasn’t convinced.
“Look,” edging closer to me, Marissa glanced over her shoulder. “I know Jesse’s going to ditch her soon and she’s going to come back. I won’t say anything. I know you two were secretive before and I’m figuring you are now since you didn’t tell us where his house was.” She bit her lip and kicked at some dirt before her head came back up. “It’s no secret. She wanted to come down because she’s still obsessed with getting Jesse back. She’s dropped the perfect act. She’s hardcore, like your brother.”
Anger flared in me. Ethan wasn’t hardcore. She must’ve heard wrong.
“I’ve gone through a lot of my issues and I have a lot to say to you. I’m sorry about your parents. I knew what they were doing to you.”
Panic threatened me.
“I should’ve said something or done something, but I didn’t. I was a shitty friend to you, no matter what you think. I wasn’t loyal and I didn’t stand up for you.” Her frown deepened when she saw Sarah in the distance. “I hate feeling rushed. I wished you had met me for brunch. Listen, don’t trust Sarah. Don’t trust Angie.”
Angie? Her name was a lightning bolt. “What are you talking about?”
She blinked. Once. Then she murmured, “You think I’m apologizing for ditching you, don’t you?”
“Aren’t you?”
One shake of the head.
My heart dropped. There was so much more in her gaze and my chest swelled. I didn’t know if I was ready for whatever else she was going to say.
The wind shifted. It grazed against my cheeks, but there was moisture on them as well. I glanced up idly, had it started raining? There were no drops in the sky.
She started out, cautious at first, “I knew what was going on last year.”
My heart plunged all the way to my feet now. She knew. I hadn’t thought anyone knew.
“I worked in the counselor’s office as a teacher’s assistant.” At my look, she explained, “I never said anything. I didn’t want you guys to make fun of me or god forbid, be proud of me. I know. I know. Stupid of me, but I know you and Angie thought I was only some party hussy who could hold her own. I wasn’t. I was messed up. I know that much, but I wanted more.”
She’d gone after Jesse. She slept with Cord instead. Then she dated Eric, only to cheat on him with Cord. Again.
She was right about some of it.
I tucked all that away. That wasn’t the same girl in front of me. Marissa had changed. Sarah had always seemed perfect and now she was another catty bitch. Even Cord changed.
I had changed.
Did nothing stay the same?
“Look,” Marissa kept going. “I was unhappy last year and I was jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Of you and Angie. You two are so close—you two were so close. I was left out all the time. I know Angie called me a slut behind my back. She said it to my face all the time. I messed up. I went after Jesse when I knew you two had a thing. And then Eric was going to ask you out and I got to him first. Then I became friends with Sarah.” She waved in her direction. “And look how she’s turned out.”
I frowned. “Yeah, she seemed so perfect last year. Now she’s…”
Marissa grinned. “Vapid? Shallow? Insecure? Because she’s all three of them. I think she thought if she stayed nice and perfect last year then Jesse would come back.”
I shifted on my feet and shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. Turning away, I muttered, “Yeah, well, they dated for three years.”
“Three years that he hated her.”
“What are you talking about?”
She gave me an incredulous look. “Come on, Alex. You had to have known. I thought you always did and it hurt my feelings. I could never figure out what I’d done so you wouldn’t confide in me, then last year I stopped caring. I stopped caring about a lot of stuff.”
Scratching at the back of my head, a foreboding sensation settled in the middle of my shoulders. It wouldn’t go away as I tried to figure out what she was talking about.
“Jesse.” Her head inclined a notch. “Are you serious?”
What?
“He’s liked you since forever. You never knew?”
“He was with Sarah. Three years, Marissa. He was with her for three years.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t want to be.” She lamented, “Okay, he might’ve liked her in the beginning, but he didn’t for a while after. I heard them fighting one time.”
“Sarah and Jesse?”
“Ethan and Jesse.”
This was the second person to talk about a dispute between my brother and his best friend. It sent daggers through me when Barbie had first said it and it sent daggers through me again. Ice-cold daggers with tips of steel. I didn’t like hearing about any discord between the two and I really didn’t like hearing that my best friend had known. She hadn’t said a word.
My lips were stiff as I demanded, “What are you talking about?”
“Jesse wanted to be with you. Your brother told him to stay away.”
He’d said the same thing to me, but there was a missing piece. I knew it. It was nagging me from the back of my mind. The puzzle wasn’t complete and I was determined to figure it out. With my lips pressed together, I gave her a pointed look. “Thanks for telling me.”
She flushed. “I’m sorry. Again. I was jealous.” She rolled her eyes. “He told Ethan he wanted to break up with Sarah and be with you, but your brother wasn’t having it. He threatened Jesse that if he broke up with Sarah, then he’d say something horrible to you. He was going to turn you against him.” Her laugh was hollow. “Your brother was hardcore, huh?”
Not the Ethan I knew.
Pain tingled at the tips of my fingers and toes. It was slowly working its way through me, all the way to send my heart into a tailspin.
The brother I knew would’ve never kept me from someone I loved.
Oh shit.
I drew in another shuddering breath.
I had loved Jesse then.
Had I stopped when he hadn’t returned my calls? Because I didn’t still love him. I couldn’t.
“You okay?”
I jerked my head in a nod. “Yeah.”
She wasn’t convinced.
“Look,” edging closer to me, Marissa glanced over her shoulder. “I know Jesse’s going to ditch her soon and she’s going to come back. I won’t say anything. I know you two were secretive before and I’m figuring you are now since you didn’t tell us where his house was.” She bit her lip and kicked at some dirt before her head came back up. “It’s no secret. She wanted to come down because she’s still obsessed with getting Jesse back. She’s dropped the perfect act. She’s hardcore, like your brother.”
Anger flared in me. Ethan wasn’t hardcore. She must’ve heard wrong.
“I’ve gone through a lot of my issues and I have a lot to say to you. I’m sorry about your parents. I knew what they were doing to you.”
Panic threatened me.
“I should’ve said something or done something, but I didn’t. I was a shitty friend to you, no matter what you think. I wasn’t loyal and I didn’t stand up for you.” Her frown deepened when she saw Sarah in the distance. “I hate feeling rushed. I wished you had met me for brunch. Listen, don’t trust Sarah. Don’t trust Angie.”
Angie? Her name was a lightning bolt. “What are you talking about?”
