Broken and Screwed 2
Page 73
“Shut up.” Finally. My father snapped. His face grew red and his Adam’s apple was bobbing up and down. It wouldn’t stop. He seethed at me and I saw that his teeth were grinding against each other. “You shut up now.”
“Don!”
No one else spoke. This was a family moment, in front of an audience, but I heard Jesse lean forward behind me. His hand touched the back of my leg and my father lashed out, “You stop touching her.”
“Then start telling the truth.” There was no fear in Jesse’s tone. It was even keen.
Malcolm stood now, skirting between the two sides of the table. He slowly put his cloth napkin on his plate as well. “I think this dinner has moved past social etiquette. Don, Shelby, I’d like to thank you for coming. It was a pleasure, as always.”
Jesse laughed, “Are you shitting me, Dad? Isn’t this what you wanted?”
My father’s icy gaze never left mine, but he asked Malcolm, “What is your son referring to?”
“Nothing, Don. Nothing at all. Jesse, you stop this right now.”
“No.”
“Jesse.”
My dad was teetering. He wanted to lose his cool. He wanted to yell at me, but he kept himself restrained. He was right there. Only a small nudge and I had him. I could taste all the secrets.
I drew in a breath, ready to deliver a taunt, but then I heard, “Oh, for goodness’ sake. Don, tell her. It’ll come out someday.”
“No!”
“Tell her.” My mother lifted her chin to him. The trembling was gone and defiance had taken over. “Or I will. This is your secret. You should be the one to tell her.”
“Not here.” He scanned the entire table. “Not in front of their friends.”
I half expected a flippant remark from Jamie, or even Tiffany. None came. I relaxed slightly, but dug my fingers around the table’s edge. They couldn’t leave. Not like this. I was so close. “Who did you sleep with? What does that have to do with Ethan?”
“Everything.” My mother gave up. Her shoulders went down in defeat and she hung her head. “It has everything to do with Ethan and everything to do with his accident.”
“Shelby.” My father twisted and gripped her arm. His hold tightened and she whelped from pain.
“Stop it, Dad,” I cried out.
“Don,” Jesse started.
“You don’t talk to me anymore. You don’t have that right, Jesse.” My father looked ready to murder. “You have lost all privileges with my family and with my daughter. Remove your hand at once.”
“No.” His hand moved to my back and he took a possessive hold now. “I don’t have my privileges anymore? Are you f**king with me?”
“Jesse,” Malcolm admonished.
He ignored his father and addressed mine, “To cover your ass, you’ve hurt the one person who was innocent in all of this.”
“Stop it!” His fist hit the table again. A glass tipped over from the reverberations.
Malcolm’s girlfriend scrambled from her chair again, squealing as she fled to the bathroom.
“Tell her. This is ridiculous.”
“Tell me.”
“Your father had an affair.” The words came low and swift from my mother.
“No!” he roared. “I won’t stand here and listen to my good name being ruined. I won’t have it. Shelby, come with me.”
“No, Don.” She touched his arm, but her hand was gentle. He tore away from her. My mother never flinched. “I tried to lose myself because of everything you put our family through. I won’t lose my daughter. She’s my last living child. This has gone on long enough. You wanted to shield her from this, but we’ve done the opposite. We’ve hurt her. It has to stop.”
“Mom?”
“NO!”
“Then leave,” she snapped at him. “But I’m staying. I am staying with my child. You can go, and keep your good name. That’s all you care about. Your name. You don’t even care what you did to Ethan. My son killed himself because of you. It was all because of you.”
My son killed himself… My son killed himself… I couldn’t not hear those words again and I shook my head as they kept repeating. Over and over, I heard them. They wouldn’t stop. Someone stood in the distance and a faint voice said, “I think we should go home.” More people rose from the table. People were murmuring their goodnights. A few touched my arm, but I couldn’t get past what had just been said.
Ethan killed himself?
I looked at Jesse. Guilt. He knew. My gut kicked in as I realized that he’d known the whole time. Sucking in my breath, I started to move away. Why hadn’t he told me? But no, there was more. I lifted my head and saw my mother was still there. She had taken her seat again, looking composed despite the evening’s events. Jesse had sat as well. I kept looking around. No one else remained. It was the three of us and both of them were waiting for me.
Slowly, I reached behind me to feel for my seat. As my fingers found it, I sat but I never looked away from my mother. She picked up her wine and sipped from it. Setting it back down, she leaned back in her chair again. She was still waiting.
I choked out, “What?”
“Your brother killed himself. The car accident wasn’t an accident.”
Jesse spoke up, “We don’t know that.”
My mother sucked in her breath, only to release it at once. The trembling was gone and instead she looked broken. I recognized the look because I’d had it and now I got my second shocking realization for the evening.
I wasn’t broken anymore.
I didn’t know when it happened, but it had. I breathed in and out, trying to get over that surprise and I tried to clue in. This was about my brother. I feared that I wouldn’t hear this again so I shoved everything aside and only listened to my mother.
She started again, swirling her wine around in the glass, “All of this started, well, it didn’t start with the girl, but it did for me. Earlier in the year, Ethan brought a girl home to meet us. I believe you were at a party with the girls. He wanted us to meet her first. You know how Ethan was with you, he always wanted to protect you and make sure you only knew the tiniest bit of information. He did it out of love.”
“I never knew Ethan had a girlfriend.”
“Don!”
No one else spoke. This was a family moment, in front of an audience, but I heard Jesse lean forward behind me. His hand touched the back of my leg and my father lashed out, “You stop touching her.”
“Then start telling the truth.” There was no fear in Jesse’s tone. It was even keen.
Malcolm stood now, skirting between the two sides of the table. He slowly put his cloth napkin on his plate as well. “I think this dinner has moved past social etiquette. Don, Shelby, I’d like to thank you for coming. It was a pleasure, as always.”
Jesse laughed, “Are you shitting me, Dad? Isn’t this what you wanted?”
My father’s icy gaze never left mine, but he asked Malcolm, “What is your son referring to?”
“Nothing, Don. Nothing at all. Jesse, you stop this right now.”
“No.”
“Jesse.”
My dad was teetering. He wanted to lose his cool. He wanted to yell at me, but he kept himself restrained. He was right there. Only a small nudge and I had him. I could taste all the secrets.
I drew in a breath, ready to deliver a taunt, but then I heard, “Oh, for goodness’ sake. Don, tell her. It’ll come out someday.”
“No!”
“Tell her.” My mother lifted her chin to him. The trembling was gone and defiance had taken over. “Or I will. This is your secret. You should be the one to tell her.”
“Not here.” He scanned the entire table. “Not in front of their friends.”
I half expected a flippant remark from Jamie, or even Tiffany. None came. I relaxed slightly, but dug my fingers around the table’s edge. They couldn’t leave. Not like this. I was so close. “Who did you sleep with? What does that have to do with Ethan?”
“Everything.” My mother gave up. Her shoulders went down in defeat and she hung her head. “It has everything to do with Ethan and everything to do with his accident.”
“Shelby.” My father twisted and gripped her arm. His hold tightened and she whelped from pain.
“Stop it, Dad,” I cried out.
“Don,” Jesse started.
“You don’t talk to me anymore. You don’t have that right, Jesse.” My father looked ready to murder. “You have lost all privileges with my family and with my daughter. Remove your hand at once.”
“No.” His hand moved to my back and he took a possessive hold now. “I don’t have my privileges anymore? Are you f**king with me?”
“Jesse,” Malcolm admonished.
He ignored his father and addressed mine, “To cover your ass, you’ve hurt the one person who was innocent in all of this.”
“Stop it!” His fist hit the table again. A glass tipped over from the reverberations.
Malcolm’s girlfriend scrambled from her chair again, squealing as she fled to the bathroom.
“Tell her. This is ridiculous.”
“Tell me.”
“Your father had an affair.” The words came low and swift from my mother.
“No!” he roared. “I won’t stand here and listen to my good name being ruined. I won’t have it. Shelby, come with me.”
“No, Don.” She touched his arm, but her hand was gentle. He tore away from her. My mother never flinched. “I tried to lose myself because of everything you put our family through. I won’t lose my daughter. She’s my last living child. This has gone on long enough. You wanted to shield her from this, but we’ve done the opposite. We’ve hurt her. It has to stop.”
“Mom?”
“NO!”
“Then leave,” she snapped at him. “But I’m staying. I am staying with my child. You can go, and keep your good name. That’s all you care about. Your name. You don’t even care what you did to Ethan. My son killed himself because of you. It was all because of you.”
My son killed himself… My son killed himself… I couldn’t not hear those words again and I shook my head as they kept repeating. Over and over, I heard them. They wouldn’t stop. Someone stood in the distance and a faint voice said, “I think we should go home.” More people rose from the table. People were murmuring their goodnights. A few touched my arm, but I couldn’t get past what had just been said.
Ethan killed himself?
I looked at Jesse. Guilt. He knew. My gut kicked in as I realized that he’d known the whole time. Sucking in my breath, I started to move away. Why hadn’t he told me? But no, there was more. I lifted my head and saw my mother was still there. She had taken her seat again, looking composed despite the evening’s events. Jesse had sat as well. I kept looking around. No one else remained. It was the three of us and both of them were waiting for me.
Slowly, I reached behind me to feel for my seat. As my fingers found it, I sat but I never looked away from my mother. She picked up her wine and sipped from it. Setting it back down, she leaned back in her chair again. She was still waiting.
I choked out, “What?”
“Your brother killed himself. The car accident wasn’t an accident.”
Jesse spoke up, “We don’t know that.”
My mother sucked in her breath, only to release it at once. The trembling was gone and instead she looked broken. I recognized the look because I’d had it and now I got my second shocking realization for the evening.
I wasn’t broken anymore.
I didn’t know when it happened, but it had. I breathed in and out, trying to get over that surprise and I tried to clue in. This was about my brother. I feared that I wouldn’t hear this again so I shoved everything aside and only listened to my mother.
She started again, swirling her wine around in the glass, “All of this started, well, it didn’t start with the girl, but it did for me. Earlier in the year, Ethan brought a girl home to meet us. I believe you were at a party with the girls. He wanted us to meet her first. You know how Ethan was with you, he always wanted to protect you and make sure you only knew the tiniest bit of information. He did it out of love.”
“I never knew Ethan had a girlfriend.”
