Broken and Screwed
Page 37
As we continued to the lobby where Angie and Justin were waiting, holding hands, I also admitted to myself the other side of the coin. I might’ve dated Eric. I might’ve finally listened to my head and tried to move on from Jesse. Eric might’ve helped me avoid the disaster that Angie knew was coming later, but he was with Marissa now. And he was going to get his own heart shattered by her.
There was no sympathy inside of me for him. We were both going to get hurt.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Marissa disappeared during the day. We didn’t hear from her until later that night. I didn’t hear from Jesse either, so I assumed that meant he didn’t want to hang out either. After we ate, we spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool. Justin disappeared at one part of the afternoon. He came back a few hours later with fake licenses for us. Angie’s eyes went wide, but she took hers without a comment. Praise the Lord. When I took mine, there was a dip in my stomach. I knew I shouldn’t feel guilty. This wasn’t the right thing to do, but we were in Vegas. My parents had ditched me. One of my best friends had ditched me. The guy I loved, but couldn’t really have, had ditched me for the day.
I took the card and shoved all the other crap away. I wanted to have fun and those thoughts would only get in the way.
Eric was more excited when he got his. He’d been quiet most of the afternoon, but a cocky look came over him then.
Angie whipped around to look at me. Yep, she saw it too. I shrugged at the look, but good for him. Maybe I didn’t want him to wait around for the inevitable Marissa break-up scene? I had no idea, but when the four of us got ready to go out, I was determined to have a good time.
Angie giggled as she came into the bathroom with her make-up bag. “I can’t believe we snuck your bag out of Jesse’s room.”
I grinned at her in the mirror, but a pang of regret sliced through me. Since Marissa was still missing and there’d been no word from Jesse, we had decided the four of us would go out to the clubs that night. Even though I hadn’t considered my sleeping arrangements that night, I wanted to get ready with Angie. The guys were in Eric’s room, doing whatever they did.
I replied as I steadied my eyeliner, “I needed my things.” And that was it. That was the end of the story.
“So where do you think Marissa is?”
I shrugged. I didn’t even want to think about her.
Her voice dropped as she asked, “Do you think she’s trying to get together with Cord again?”
I dropped the eyeliner and turned, suddenly breathless. Marissa and Cord. That meant she was around Jesse, whom I hadn’t heard from all day. I gulped. But then I stopped again. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He wasn’t my anything. He was my brother’s best friend, my dead brother’s best friend. I tried to convince myself that’s all we were, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t lie to myself. It hurt that he hadn’t texted me all day, but I also knew I was being unreasonable. He was in Vegas for his team, for their game. Not for me.
“I don’t know, but I can see her trying something again with him.”
“Whatever happened with them? I thought the two of them were perfect for each other.” Angie giggled again as she went to the room and reappeared with a full glass. She sipped the wine, wiggling her eyebrows at me. “What? We’re in Vegas. Aren’t we supposed to drink?”
“Where’s mine?”
Delight flashed over her face before she disappeared for a second. Then she came back with my own glass filled to the brim.
“Cheers, Alex.” She lifted her wine in the air. “Here’s to us, to having a great time no matter what drama happens, and to our friendship.”
“To us.” My glass clinked with hers, “And to having a motherfucking great time.”
More giggles burst from her, but we drank half our glasses.
Then she grew silent for a second.
My glass went to the counter. I knew what this was; this was the pre-air of silence. This was when she was thoughtful as a sudden idea came to her. The next stage was her pursed lips, which I saw just happened. Then she would frown and glance at me; she did both again. Then she’d bite her lip. Yep, once again I was right on cue. The last step was when she’d take a deep breath, readying herself for whatever she was going to say. And, dread filled me when I saw her take that deep breath. It was deeper than normal…and we had blast off.
“So if Marissa hooks up with Cord again, then she and Eric are done.” Angie’s eyes were filled with concern. “What are you going to do if he wants to date you again? Because I know he hasn’t stopped liking you. He just went with Marissa because she was giving him all the signs and well, you know why.”
If Marissa liked a guy, she chased him down.
My shoulder went up and I took my own deep breath of air.
“What are you going to do, Alex?” She edged closer, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Would you date him? I mean, I know you have this thing with Jesse, but come on. He’s not going to date you, not for real. You know that.”
I jerked away.
“You’re better off with Eric. I think you should make a move on him tonight.”
“He’s still dating Marissa,” I hissed at her.
She was the nonchalant one now. “We both know that’s going to end tonight. It’s just a question of who Marissa’s with now. I bet you money that she already tried to throw herself at Cord. I don’t know what happened, but I know he walked away from her. I’m right, aren’t I?”
Her eyes were steadily on mine in the mirror.
“I know you know.” She said it so faint, I might’ve imagined it. But I hadn’t. Pain flared in her depths and then she looked away. “It’s okay, you know. You kept that a secret for her. You’re a good friend to her.”
Oh boy. “Angie.”
“It’s fine. It really is.” She grabbed her glass and drank the rest of the wine. Then she cleared her throat, looking anywhere but at me. “She’s a horrible friend to you and you’re a great one back to her. And me, I’m a great friend to you and all you do is keep secrets from me. It hurts, Alex, but it’s fine. I should expect this, you know.”
I heard the change in her tone and stiffened. A different sense of dread took root in me now.
“It was always the two of you before. You were both the party girls. Cute, little. All the guys loved you two, especially when you were drinking, but then Ethan died and you became a ghost of what you were. Marissa stepped back, you know, and me…” She gulped with tears in her eyes, “I was there for you. I have been there for you. I’ve tried, Alex. I really have, but you two still have each other’s backs. I don’t get it. I really don’t.”
There was no sympathy inside of me for him. We were both going to get hurt.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Marissa disappeared during the day. We didn’t hear from her until later that night. I didn’t hear from Jesse either, so I assumed that meant he didn’t want to hang out either. After we ate, we spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool. Justin disappeared at one part of the afternoon. He came back a few hours later with fake licenses for us. Angie’s eyes went wide, but she took hers without a comment. Praise the Lord. When I took mine, there was a dip in my stomach. I knew I shouldn’t feel guilty. This wasn’t the right thing to do, but we were in Vegas. My parents had ditched me. One of my best friends had ditched me. The guy I loved, but couldn’t really have, had ditched me for the day.
I took the card and shoved all the other crap away. I wanted to have fun and those thoughts would only get in the way.
Eric was more excited when he got his. He’d been quiet most of the afternoon, but a cocky look came over him then.
Angie whipped around to look at me. Yep, she saw it too. I shrugged at the look, but good for him. Maybe I didn’t want him to wait around for the inevitable Marissa break-up scene? I had no idea, but when the four of us got ready to go out, I was determined to have a good time.
Angie giggled as she came into the bathroom with her make-up bag. “I can’t believe we snuck your bag out of Jesse’s room.”
I grinned at her in the mirror, but a pang of regret sliced through me. Since Marissa was still missing and there’d been no word from Jesse, we had decided the four of us would go out to the clubs that night. Even though I hadn’t considered my sleeping arrangements that night, I wanted to get ready with Angie. The guys were in Eric’s room, doing whatever they did.
I replied as I steadied my eyeliner, “I needed my things.” And that was it. That was the end of the story.
“So where do you think Marissa is?”
I shrugged. I didn’t even want to think about her.
Her voice dropped as she asked, “Do you think she’s trying to get together with Cord again?”
I dropped the eyeliner and turned, suddenly breathless. Marissa and Cord. That meant she was around Jesse, whom I hadn’t heard from all day. I gulped. But then I stopped again. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He wasn’t my anything. He was my brother’s best friend, my dead brother’s best friend. I tried to convince myself that’s all we were, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t lie to myself. It hurt that he hadn’t texted me all day, but I also knew I was being unreasonable. He was in Vegas for his team, for their game. Not for me.
“I don’t know, but I can see her trying something again with him.”
“Whatever happened with them? I thought the two of them were perfect for each other.” Angie giggled again as she went to the room and reappeared with a full glass. She sipped the wine, wiggling her eyebrows at me. “What? We’re in Vegas. Aren’t we supposed to drink?”
“Where’s mine?”
Delight flashed over her face before she disappeared for a second. Then she came back with my own glass filled to the brim.
“Cheers, Alex.” She lifted her wine in the air. “Here’s to us, to having a great time no matter what drama happens, and to our friendship.”
“To us.” My glass clinked with hers, “And to having a motherfucking great time.”
More giggles burst from her, but we drank half our glasses.
Then she grew silent for a second.
My glass went to the counter. I knew what this was; this was the pre-air of silence. This was when she was thoughtful as a sudden idea came to her. The next stage was her pursed lips, which I saw just happened. Then she would frown and glance at me; she did both again. Then she’d bite her lip. Yep, once again I was right on cue. The last step was when she’d take a deep breath, readying herself for whatever she was going to say. And, dread filled me when I saw her take that deep breath. It was deeper than normal…and we had blast off.
“So if Marissa hooks up with Cord again, then she and Eric are done.” Angie’s eyes were filled with concern. “What are you going to do if he wants to date you again? Because I know he hasn’t stopped liking you. He just went with Marissa because she was giving him all the signs and well, you know why.”
If Marissa liked a guy, she chased him down.
My shoulder went up and I took my own deep breath of air.
“What are you going to do, Alex?” She edged closer, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Would you date him? I mean, I know you have this thing with Jesse, but come on. He’s not going to date you, not for real. You know that.”
I jerked away.
“You’re better off with Eric. I think you should make a move on him tonight.”
“He’s still dating Marissa,” I hissed at her.
She was the nonchalant one now. “We both know that’s going to end tonight. It’s just a question of who Marissa’s with now. I bet you money that she already tried to throw herself at Cord. I don’t know what happened, but I know he walked away from her. I’m right, aren’t I?”
Her eyes were steadily on mine in the mirror.
“I know you know.” She said it so faint, I might’ve imagined it. But I hadn’t. Pain flared in her depths and then she looked away. “It’s okay, you know. You kept that a secret for her. You’re a good friend to her.”
Oh boy. “Angie.”
“It’s fine. It really is.” She grabbed her glass and drank the rest of the wine. Then she cleared her throat, looking anywhere but at me. “She’s a horrible friend to you and you’re a great one back to her. And me, I’m a great friend to you and all you do is keep secrets from me. It hurts, Alex, but it’s fine. I should expect this, you know.”
I heard the change in her tone and stiffened. A different sense of dread took root in me now.
“It was always the two of you before. You were both the party girls. Cute, little. All the guys loved you two, especially when you were drinking, but then Ethan died and you became a ghost of what you were. Marissa stepped back, you know, and me…” She gulped with tears in her eyes, “I was there for you. I have been there for you. I’ve tried, Alex. I really have, but you two still have each other’s backs. I don’t get it. I really don’t.”
