Broken Dove
Page 148
He slapped my chest with his hand.
I laughed again but as I did it, I felt something from across the room, so I turned my eyes that way.
My breath caught when I saw Apollo standing and talking with Laures, but his gaze was on me.
And the look on his face was hot, sweet, and like all things Apollo, beautiful.
I liked that look. I liked what I figured that look said. But as much as I liked all this, I felt something else and my eyes moved again.
This time they caught on Chris and my heart stuttered in my chest as I saw he was watching his father.
Not looking at him.
Watching him.
Then my heart stuttered again when Chris’s eyes slid to me.
I swallowed before I sent a small smile his way.
He lifted his chin and looked away.
Progress.
Only a little, but I’d take what I could get.
We could just say things had not changed much with Chris in the three days we were at Karsvall before heading to Fyngaard. The last night we were there, though, he did find Apollo and tell him he was okay with me coming to dinner.
But that was it.
And dinner went fine. He wasn’t withdrawn. He also wasn’t his usual self.
What he was was watchful. Watchful of how Élan chattered with me. Watchful of how his father spoke and looked at me.
Watchful of everything.
I did my best at being my normal self, hoping, if his father could find things to love about me, Chris would at least find things to like about me.
By all indications, he had not (yet).
But on the ride, sometimes he maneuvered his horse close to Élan and my sleigh. He wasn’t talkative as he’d been when we made our way to Brunskar, but Élan was so he didn’t need to be and all she needed was her brother near.
I decided to take that as more progress.
By the by, Apollo didn’t push any of this.
I had my time with him. I had my time with Élan. And I had my time with both of them.
Chris chose his times to participate in the last part.
Although things were progressing slowly with Christophe, they were not with Élan. As with our last ride, and even before we left Karsvall, she wanted me around all the time.
She wanted me.
She had me.
I’d fallen in love with her father.
It took far less time to fall in love with her.
Things did not progress slowly with Apollo either. For Chris’s sake, we had to go back to his nights at the dower house with me, up early to breakfast with his children, and he stayed even later to dine with them and didn’t leave until they were in bed.
But Apollo found times to visit me, me to visit him, and we made it work.
No.
It was more than making it work.
It was making both of us happy.
Absolutely, Apollo worried about his son. This was true. We discussed it often.
But I found he told no lies when he said having my heart was enough.
He was just happy to be with me.
Me. As I was.
It was awesome.
After him telling me he loved me, me returning that gesture, and getting all that crap out, with nothing eating at me, things changed.
No strings. No doubts. Nothing plaguing me.
Nothing broken.
All healthy, real.
Strong.
Living the life I’d led, it was hard as hell to get used to.
I had known happiness, Apollo gave it to me.
I’d known contentedness, Apollo gave me that too.
But both of them together with a settled feeling and Élan thrown in to sweeten the pot?
Bliss.
These were my thoughts and I was lost in them, so I jumped when suddenly Tunahn was no longer in my arms.
He was in his father’s, a father who was walking away, murmuring to his son in Korwahkian.
I had no clue what he was saying.
Circe did and I knew this when she snapped, “Lahn!”
He sent her a look that was so severe it made me give an “eek” face to Finnie.
Finnie witnessed the look too and thus returned my “eek” face.
Circe didn’t see this. She was concentrating on her husband. And she did not have an “eek” face.
She was snapping something else to him, but in Korwahk.
His reply was, “Rayloo, kah rahna fauna.”
“Don’t tell me rayloo, kah Dax,” she retorted.
Suddenly, he grinned at her and at that, I made no “eek” face.
Neither did Finnie.
Neither did Circe. She turned away from her husband on a “humph.”
He moved away with his son.
When he did, she groused, “It really sucks he’s so hot. He gets away with a lot of shit being that hot. Add him calling me his rahna fauna, he can get away with practically anything. Even doing idiot dad things.” Her eyes went to Finnie. “Do you get me?”
“I so totally do,” Finnie replied and Circe looked to me.
“Beware of that,” she advised.
I nodded my head, unable to speak at the idea of having the opportunity to experience Apollo doing idiot dad things with a child we shared (even though I knew that was something he wouldn’t do). At the same time I was thinking my future held a lot of him getting away with a lot of things, being so beautiful and also utilizing that “my dove” business.
“What did he say to Tunahn?” Finnie asked, taking me out of my thoughts.
Circe leaned in. Finnie and I leaned in. Meeta did not lean in.
When we were in position, on a hissed whisper, Circe shared, “He told his son he was not to tear at a woman’s clothes until he’d learned to use his cock.”
I felt my eyes get huge.
“See what I’m saying?” Circe asked, taking in my wide eyes. “Idiot dad things and he walks away with me not verbally kicking his ass because he’s hot.”
I looked to Finnie. “Does Frey do idiot dad things?”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “When Viktor couldn’t sleep, does Frey taking him to the wheel of his ship in the middle of the night and keeping him there for hours as he navigated the waters count as an idiot dad thing? And just to note, it was cold as hell outside and Viktor was so excited to be with his dad out in the sea air, he didn’t sleep a wink so he was grouchy all the next day and had a runny nose. Is that an idiot dad thing?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“Right,” Finnie began. “Then I’ll tell you that after he did that, I had words with him. Frey accepted about four of them before he grabbed me, kissed me and said, ‘He’s healthy and strong, strong enough to survive a nip in the air, my wee one. Leave it alone.’ Then he let me go and walked away. But he didn’t have to call me his wee one or even speak. I was stuck back at the kiss.”
I laughed again but as I did it, I felt something from across the room, so I turned my eyes that way.
My breath caught when I saw Apollo standing and talking with Laures, but his gaze was on me.
And the look on his face was hot, sweet, and like all things Apollo, beautiful.
I liked that look. I liked what I figured that look said. But as much as I liked all this, I felt something else and my eyes moved again.
This time they caught on Chris and my heart stuttered in my chest as I saw he was watching his father.
Not looking at him.
Watching him.
Then my heart stuttered again when Chris’s eyes slid to me.
I swallowed before I sent a small smile his way.
He lifted his chin and looked away.
Progress.
Only a little, but I’d take what I could get.
We could just say things had not changed much with Chris in the three days we were at Karsvall before heading to Fyngaard. The last night we were there, though, he did find Apollo and tell him he was okay with me coming to dinner.
But that was it.
And dinner went fine. He wasn’t withdrawn. He also wasn’t his usual self.
What he was was watchful. Watchful of how Élan chattered with me. Watchful of how his father spoke and looked at me.
Watchful of everything.
I did my best at being my normal self, hoping, if his father could find things to love about me, Chris would at least find things to like about me.
By all indications, he had not (yet).
But on the ride, sometimes he maneuvered his horse close to Élan and my sleigh. He wasn’t talkative as he’d been when we made our way to Brunskar, but Élan was so he didn’t need to be and all she needed was her brother near.
I decided to take that as more progress.
By the by, Apollo didn’t push any of this.
I had my time with him. I had my time with Élan. And I had my time with both of them.
Chris chose his times to participate in the last part.
Although things were progressing slowly with Christophe, they were not with Élan. As with our last ride, and even before we left Karsvall, she wanted me around all the time.
She wanted me.
She had me.
I’d fallen in love with her father.
It took far less time to fall in love with her.
Things did not progress slowly with Apollo either. For Chris’s sake, we had to go back to his nights at the dower house with me, up early to breakfast with his children, and he stayed even later to dine with them and didn’t leave until they were in bed.
But Apollo found times to visit me, me to visit him, and we made it work.
No.
It was more than making it work.
It was making both of us happy.
Absolutely, Apollo worried about his son. This was true. We discussed it often.
But I found he told no lies when he said having my heart was enough.
He was just happy to be with me.
Me. As I was.
It was awesome.
After him telling me he loved me, me returning that gesture, and getting all that crap out, with nothing eating at me, things changed.
No strings. No doubts. Nothing plaguing me.
Nothing broken.
All healthy, real.
Strong.
Living the life I’d led, it was hard as hell to get used to.
I had known happiness, Apollo gave it to me.
I’d known contentedness, Apollo gave me that too.
But both of them together with a settled feeling and Élan thrown in to sweeten the pot?
Bliss.
These were my thoughts and I was lost in them, so I jumped when suddenly Tunahn was no longer in my arms.
He was in his father’s, a father who was walking away, murmuring to his son in Korwahkian.
I had no clue what he was saying.
Circe did and I knew this when she snapped, “Lahn!”
He sent her a look that was so severe it made me give an “eek” face to Finnie.
Finnie witnessed the look too and thus returned my “eek” face.
Circe didn’t see this. She was concentrating on her husband. And she did not have an “eek” face.
She was snapping something else to him, but in Korwahk.
His reply was, “Rayloo, kah rahna fauna.”
“Don’t tell me rayloo, kah Dax,” she retorted.
Suddenly, he grinned at her and at that, I made no “eek” face.
Neither did Finnie.
Neither did Circe. She turned away from her husband on a “humph.”
He moved away with his son.
When he did, she groused, “It really sucks he’s so hot. He gets away with a lot of shit being that hot. Add him calling me his rahna fauna, he can get away with practically anything. Even doing idiot dad things.” Her eyes went to Finnie. “Do you get me?”
“I so totally do,” Finnie replied and Circe looked to me.
“Beware of that,” she advised.
I nodded my head, unable to speak at the idea of having the opportunity to experience Apollo doing idiot dad things with a child we shared (even though I knew that was something he wouldn’t do). At the same time I was thinking my future held a lot of him getting away with a lot of things, being so beautiful and also utilizing that “my dove” business.
“What did he say to Tunahn?” Finnie asked, taking me out of my thoughts.
Circe leaned in. Finnie and I leaned in. Meeta did not lean in.
When we were in position, on a hissed whisper, Circe shared, “He told his son he was not to tear at a woman’s clothes until he’d learned to use his cock.”
I felt my eyes get huge.
“See what I’m saying?” Circe asked, taking in my wide eyes. “Idiot dad things and he walks away with me not verbally kicking his ass because he’s hot.”
I looked to Finnie. “Does Frey do idiot dad things?”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “When Viktor couldn’t sleep, does Frey taking him to the wheel of his ship in the middle of the night and keeping him there for hours as he navigated the waters count as an idiot dad thing? And just to note, it was cold as hell outside and Viktor was so excited to be with his dad out in the sea air, he didn’t sleep a wink so he was grouchy all the next day and had a runny nose. Is that an idiot dad thing?”
“Yes,” I answered.
“Right,” Finnie began. “Then I’ll tell you that after he did that, I had words with him. Frey accepted about four of them before he grabbed me, kissed me and said, ‘He’s healthy and strong, strong enough to survive a nip in the air, my wee one. Leave it alone.’ Then he let me go and walked away. But he didn’t have to call me his wee one or even speak. I was stuck back at the kiss.”
