Broken Open
Page 18
“I guess maybe I’m starting to believe you can want to hit someone in the nose with a newspaper and still love them. And that in a day or a week you won’t want to hit them anymore. So far. He’s sort of vexing so I shouldn’t make declarative statements.”
Tuesday burst out laughing. Natalie was beautiful in the way only pale blondes who look really great with short hair could manage. She was classically pretty but with an edge you’d miss until you looked a little closer.
The real Natalie, the one only those who were close to her saw, had a bawdy sense of humor. It had been a joke, all those years ago, that had planted the seed of friendship that made them close to that day.
They’d all been so young that first day in the dorms back at college. Their group of friends—1022 they called themselves informally, after the dorm room they all shared way back that first year—forged a friendship that was like a family.
They’d all been strangers, these five women who all seemed very different from one another.
Over the years they’d known one another, Tuesday had learned that Natalie had a great sense of just exactly what Tuesday needed, even if Tuesday herself hadn’t. And it was the same for her when it came to Natalie. Their connection was something big and special, a friendship that’d carried them both through some major life storms.
“After we finish up let’s get ourselves set and you call Mary to see when she wants to go over there.”
Natalie paused. “Wait a minute. I thought you had a hair appointment. You do! You were saying you’d hit the second show up looking fantastic and all done up.”
“I do, but I can reschedule.” Tuesday patted her hair. “And, we all know I’ll look fantastic either way.”
“Truth. However.” Natalie raised a brow. “You’re canceling a hair appointment to be nice to Ezra. You like Ezra.” But she sang it and it made Tuesday smirk a little.
“I’m canceling a hair appointment because a little girl and her family need the support and the ability to be together right now. I am a nice person, you know.”
Natalie snorted. “You are a nice person. Who totally has it for Ezra because you never give up hair appointments.”
“Listen, it is hard to find someone who knows what to do with all this.” Tuesday waved a hand at her hair. “I gotta take my appointments when I can get them when Nina is at the salon.” She’d learned the hard way that she needed a salon that had stylists who knew how to style and treat black women’s hair. Tuesday had found Nina, a stylist who worked two days a week at a local salon and that’s who touched Tuesday’s hair. Otherwise, she drove up to Olympia and went with her mom to a friend who did hair on the side.
Natalie’s grin undercut her attempt to be serious. “I understand. Well, actually I don’t, which is sort of sucky but anyway. I do think I need two more pancakes before I call, though. Going to be a full day—it’s really in everyone’s interest that I have all the fuel I need.”
Tuesday snorted. “You’re a giver.”
“Also—” Natalie paused to eat a little “—I want to wait until I hear back from Paddy. If they cancel the show we’ll know soon, but he didn’t think they were going to.”
“Smart.”
“At least tell me if he asked you to come tonight. You’re very stingy with details.”
Tuesday sighed and shook her head. “I can’t remember if you were this nosy with Eric.”
“I didn’t have to be. Your bedroom was next to mine. I heard how things were going.” Natalie winked.
It had been a really long time since they’d shared like this. It felt nice and Tuesday realized she’d missed it. “Yes. He asked me if I was coming tonight. He invited me to his house afterward. Obviously for sex.”
“Did you like it? That he’s interested?”
“Oh my god. Are you going to keep this up?”
Natalie laughed really hard and then nodded. “You did it to me with Paddy.” She sobered and looked at Tuesday. “I know it’s not the same. But I also know it’s not what you’ve been doing, either. Are you scared?”
It hurt to breathe for just a moment and panic raced through her system until Natalie took her wrist. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just...it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”
“I know I need to let it happen. Or stop it. Or not think about it. Or maybe think more about it. I guess I don’t know what to do and...”
“And you’re not used to admitting maybe you don’t know what to do. Because you’re so fierce and strong and awesome that you don’t know how to let yourself be a little weak.”
“Please. I fucked around for eighteen months after Eric died. I was nothing but weak. Fluttering around in the breeze.” Running from a truth she did not want to accept.
Natalie’s softness hardened up immediately. “You stop. Right now. You had less than ninety days to go from learning he had cancer to burying him. So you took a little while to deal. So what? God, you’re so hard on yourself. It makes me mad.”
“Oh hush. You’re so full of shit. Who is hard on themselves? Hypocrite.”
“Of course I’m a hypocrite. It’s like you don’t even know me, Tues. But now that I’ve found true love and all that, I get to condescend to you. Jeez. This is outlined in the papers you signed back at the beginning of our friendship.” Natalie snickered and Tuesday tossed her napkin at Nat’s head.
Tuesday burst out laughing. Natalie was beautiful in the way only pale blondes who look really great with short hair could manage. She was classically pretty but with an edge you’d miss until you looked a little closer.
The real Natalie, the one only those who were close to her saw, had a bawdy sense of humor. It had been a joke, all those years ago, that had planted the seed of friendship that made them close to that day.
They’d all been so young that first day in the dorms back at college. Their group of friends—1022 they called themselves informally, after the dorm room they all shared way back that first year—forged a friendship that was like a family.
They’d all been strangers, these five women who all seemed very different from one another.
Over the years they’d known one another, Tuesday had learned that Natalie had a great sense of just exactly what Tuesday needed, even if Tuesday herself hadn’t. And it was the same for her when it came to Natalie. Their connection was something big and special, a friendship that’d carried them both through some major life storms.
“After we finish up let’s get ourselves set and you call Mary to see when she wants to go over there.”
Natalie paused. “Wait a minute. I thought you had a hair appointment. You do! You were saying you’d hit the second show up looking fantastic and all done up.”
“I do, but I can reschedule.” Tuesday patted her hair. “And, we all know I’ll look fantastic either way.”
“Truth. However.” Natalie raised a brow. “You’re canceling a hair appointment to be nice to Ezra. You like Ezra.” But she sang it and it made Tuesday smirk a little.
“I’m canceling a hair appointment because a little girl and her family need the support and the ability to be together right now. I am a nice person, you know.”
Natalie snorted. “You are a nice person. Who totally has it for Ezra because you never give up hair appointments.”
“Listen, it is hard to find someone who knows what to do with all this.” Tuesday waved a hand at her hair. “I gotta take my appointments when I can get them when Nina is at the salon.” She’d learned the hard way that she needed a salon that had stylists who knew how to style and treat black women’s hair. Tuesday had found Nina, a stylist who worked two days a week at a local salon and that’s who touched Tuesday’s hair. Otherwise, she drove up to Olympia and went with her mom to a friend who did hair on the side.
Natalie’s grin undercut her attempt to be serious. “I understand. Well, actually I don’t, which is sort of sucky but anyway. I do think I need two more pancakes before I call, though. Going to be a full day—it’s really in everyone’s interest that I have all the fuel I need.”
Tuesday snorted. “You’re a giver.”
“Also—” Natalie paused to eat a little “—I want to wait until I hear back from Paddy. If they cancel the show we’ll know soon, but he didn’t think they were going to.”
“Smart.”
“At least tell me if he asked you to come tonight. You’re very stingy with details.”
Tuesday sighed and shook her head. “I can’t remember if you were this nosy with Eric.”
“I didn’t have to be. Your bedroom was next to mine. I heard how things were going.” Natalie winked.
It had been a really long time since they’d shared like this. It felt nice and Tuesday realized she’d missed it. “Yes. He asked me if I was coming tonight. He invited me to his house afterward. Obviously for sex.”
“Did you like it? That he’s interested?”
“Oh my god. Are you going to keep this up?”
Natalie laughed really hard and then nodded. “You did it to me with Paddy.” She sobered and looked at Tuesday. “I know it’s not the same. But I also know it’s not what you’ve been doing, either. Are you scared?”
It hurt to breathe for just a moment and panic raced through her system until Natalie took her wrist. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just...it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”
“I know I need to let it happen. Or stop it. Or not think about it. Or maybe think more about it. I guess I don’t know what to do and...”
“And you’re not used to admitting maybe you don’t know what to do. Because you’re so fierce and strong and awesome that you don’t know how to let yourself be a little weak.”
“Please. I fucked around for eighteen months after Eric died. I was nothing but weak. Fluttering around in the breeze.” Running from a truth she did not want to accept.
Natalie’s softness hardened up immediately. “You stop. Right now. You had less than ninety days to go from learning he had cancer to burying him. So you took a little while to deal. So what? God, you’re so hard on yourself. It makes me mad.”
“Oh hush. You’re so full of shit. Who is hard on themselves? Hypocrite.”
“Of course I’m a hypocrite. It’s like you don’t even know me, Tues. But now that I’ve found true love and all that, I get to condescend to you. Jeez. This is outlined in the papers you signed back at the beginning of our friendship.” Natalie snickered and Tuesday tossed her napkin at Nat’s head.
