Broken Open
Page 54
“Where did the nice Natalie go?”
“Nice Natalie let you hide because nice Natalie loves you and wanted you to get strong before you jumped out into the world again. Baby-step time is over. Get off your ass and gut up. You’re a fucking gorgeous woman with a successful small business. You’re smart. You have a really pretty best friend you feed so much she would have wasted away without you. In lots of ways.” Natalie reached out to squeeze Tuesday’s hand briefly and tears sprang to the backs of her eyes at how much her best friend meant to her.
“I am pretty fucking gorgeous.” Tuesday patted her hair with a wink.
“Saucy. Now, back to the topic you’re still trying to avoid. You’re forged by fire, Tuesday. You’ve spent the last year and a half or so taking baby steps and now you’re seeing the difference. It’s miles away from where you were three years ago. Even two years ago. I like it. I want to see it. You deserve to have a new chapter that is happy and wonderful. Oh sure, you’ll be hurt here and there—that’s how it works. But you survived a horrible thing. You’re ready for Ezra. And to change your name if you want. And to finally admit you make art.”
“I’m going back to Easton and not because I don’t love Eric and not because I don’t cherish that part of my life but because I need to let it go. To move forward.”
Nodding emphatically, Natalie raised her glass. “Damn right. We keep motoring because the future is ours. And Ezra?”
“He’s a risk, Nat. He’s scared and skittish and there are times I know he’s deliberately not calling or seeing me. Times he holds back. There’s so much grief in him. Guilt. I may never get through his defenses.”
“It’s a risk you think you should take.” Natalie shrugged. “If you didn’t, you’re the one who’d be holding back. So take the risk and trust yourself. He’s different with you. I can see it. Heck, everyone can. I think you guys are good for one another.”
Tuesday thought so, too.
“You going over to Paddy’s tonight?” Tuesday asked, effectively changing the subject.
Natalie shrugged. “No. I have a lot to do with this grant stuff and he’s dealing with alfalfa apparently. Plus I like my house, darn it. I miss not being in it as much. And you know spending the time up at the house in the mountains last weekend made me miss hanging out with you more, too.”
“Well, you have work. I have work. You have Paddy and you love him and you’re building something. Eventually you’re going to move up there. It’s just how it’s going to go.” Which was wonderful and all, but it made her sad, too.
“Just because I won’t be living with you anymore doesn’t mean we won’t still see each other all the time. I mean, it’s sort of fantastic you’re dating Ezra so we’re all together more than we were before.”
“I hang out with you two so stop acting like I dumped you in Bend and left you to walk home.”
Natalie threw a chip at her.
“I hate being the third wheel. I guess it’s how you felt with me and Eric. Hey! This is what they call the shoe is on the other foot moments. Though that’s such a weird saying.”
What she hadn’t said to Ezra during their conversation in the hot tub was that Eric had been a person she’d known immediately would be part of her life, too. They’d connected right away and were a couple by the third week of that first year of college. And remained that way, despite bumps in the road, until he’d died.
“He was one of my closest friends, too. It worked that we all ended up together a lot. Then you got married and we lived in different places so that took adjustment. This is just another chapter in the Natalie-Tuesday story, dumbass.”
“Going to wash your mouth out with soap, blondie.”
“You’re all talk now that you get laid a lot more frequently. Much less violent than normal.”
“I’m a freaking Nobel Peace Prize winner compared to those Hurleys.”
They paid the bill and headed out. “I know. Though it’s sort of sweet that they all seem to miss Vaughan so much.”
Tuesday snorted. “I think Ezra is a little at loose ends with Vaughan in Gresham. He went over there yesterday he said. Saw the girls.”
“Is he living with Kelly again? What’s her perspective on this?”
“I’m totally asking her tomorrow if I get the chance. He’s been there with Maddie as she recovered. Ezra said he’d been missing them after being out on tour and Kelly was good enough to let him stay in her guest room awhile. Ezra says the girls are really happy to have him around. But he got tight-lipped about the situation between Vaughan and Kelly. I said, ‘Oh, is that bros before fros?’ He got all nervous until I laughed.”
Nat giggled. “I wish I could have seen his face when you said it.”
“It was on the phone. I haven’t seen him since we got home from the mountains. But it’s only been a few days and I’m seeing him Saturday night.”
“This is me not even saying how cute it is that you miss him if you don’t see him for a few days.”
“If so you get an F.”
Natalie cackled. “I like this. I get to tease you, too. Ha!”
“Joy.”
“Don’t front. I know you like him. It’s cute.”
“I am fierce and fantastic, not cute.”
“Sure. Whatever you say.”
“Nice Natalie let you hide because nice Natalie loves you and wanted you to get strong before you jumped out into the world again. Baby-step time is over. Get off your ass and gut up. You’re a fucking gorgeous woman with a successful small business. You’re smart. You have a really pretty best friend you feed so much she would have wasted away without you. In lots of ways.” Natalie reached out to squeeze Tuesday’s hand briefly and tears sprang to the backs of her eyes at how much her best friend meant to her.
“I am pretty fucking gorgeous.” Tuesday patted her hair with a wink.
“Saucy. Now, back to the topic you’re still trying to avoid. You’re forged by fire, Tuesday. You’ve spent the last year and a half or so taking baby steps and now you’re seeing the difference. It’s miles away from where you were three years ago. Even two years ago. I like it. I want to see it. You deserve to have a new chapter that is happy and wonderful. Oh sure, you’ll be hurt here and there—that’s how it works. But you survived a horrible thing. You’re ready for Ezra. And to change your name if you want. And to finally admit you make art.”
“I’m going back to Easton and not because I don’t love Eric and not because I don’t cherish that part of my life but because I need to let it go. To move forward.”
Nodding emphatically, Natalie raised her glass. “Damn right. We keep motoring because the future is ours. And Ezra?”
“He’s a risk, Nat. He’s scared and skittish and there are times I know he’s deliberately not calling or seeing me. Times he holds back. There’s so much grief in him. Guilt. I may never get through his defenses.”
“It’s a risk you think you should take.” Natalie shrugged. “If you didn’t, you’re the one who’d be holding back. So take the risk and trust yourself. He’s different with you. I can see it. Heck, everyone can. I think you guys are good for one another.”
Tuesday thought so, too.
“You going over to Paddy’s tonight?” Tuesday asked, effectively changing the subject.
Natalie shrugged. “No. I have a lot to do with this grant stuff and he’s dealing with alfalfa apparently. Plus I like my house, darn it. I miss not being in it as much. And you know spending the time up at the house in the mountains last weekend made me miss hanging out with you more, too.”
“Well, you have work. I have work. You have Paddy and you love him and you’re building something. Eventually you’re going to move up there. It’s just how it’s going to go.” Which was wonderful and all, but it made her sad, too.
“Just because I won’t be living with you anymore doesn’t mean we won’t still see each other all the time. I mean, it’s sort of fantastic you’re dating Ezra so we’re all together more than we were before.”
“I hang out with you two so stop acting like I dumped you in Bend and left you to walk home.”
Natalie threw a chip at her.
“I hate being the third wheel. I guess it’s how you felt with me and Eric. Hey! This is what they call the shoe is on the other foot moments. Though that’s such a weird saying.”
What she hadn’t said to Ezra during their conversation in the hot tub was that Eric had been a person she’d known immediately would be part of her life, too. They’d connected right away and were a couple by the third week of that first year of college. And remained that way, despite bumps in the road, until he’d died.
“He was one of my closest friends, too. It worked that we all ended up together a lot. Then you got married and we lived in different places so that took adjustment. This is just another chapter in the Natalie-Tuesday story, dumbass.”
“Going to wash your mouth out with soap, blondie.”
“You’re all talk now that you get laid a lot more frequently. Much less violent than normal.”
“I’m a freaking Nobel Peace Prize winner compared to those Hurleys.”
They paid the bill and headed out. “I know. Though it’s sort of sweet that they all seem to miss Vaughan so much.”
Tuesday snorted. “I think Ezra is a little at loose ends with Vaughan in Gresham. He went over there yesterday he said. Saw the girls.”
“Is he living with Kelly again? What’s her perspective on this?”
“I’m totally asking her tomorrow if I get the chance. He’s been there with Maddie as she recovered. Ezra said he’d been missing them after being out on tour and Kelly was good enough to let him stay in her guest room awhile. Ezra says the girls are really happy to have him around. But he got tight-lipped about the situation between Vaughan and Kelly. I said, ‘Oh, is that bros before fros?’ He got all nervous until I laughed.”
Nat giggled. “I wish I could have seen his face when you said it.”
“It was on the phone. I haven’t seen him since we got home from the mountains. But it’s only been a few days and I’m seeing him Saturday night.”
“This is me not even saying how cute it is that you miss him if you don’t see him for a few days.”
“If so you get an F.”
Natalie cackled. “I like this. I get to tease you, too. Ha!”
“Joy.”
“Don’t front. I know you like him. It’s cute.”
“I am fierce and fantastic, not cute.”
“Sure. Whatever you say.”
