Broken Open
Page 57
Everyone got uncomfortably silent at Vaughan’s words until Ezra started to laugh. Normally they tended to avoid the subject of his addiction and sobriety. Even after all the therapy. They didn’t want to hurt one another, which was a nice thing, he thought most days.
That day it made him laugh and it was the perfect response.
“It’s okay to laugh, you know. I’m not going to run out and buy heroin because Vaughan brings up our storied and violent past. But if I do you can blame him in therapy. I will.”
He hugged his baby brother on his way back into the living room.
They all settled in once again and felt surprisingly normal considering all the stuff going on for each man in the room.
Paddy wasn’t one to let it go, so of course he got back to poking at Ezra. “To catch up, I was remarking on your use of the word crave.”
“Why? It’s a good word.”
“It’s a good word for me. Or Damien. But you? Well it’s a loaded word.”
Ezra didn’t say much for a while.
“Needing something on that level isn’t stable ground for a junkie.”
Paddy nodded. “Fair enough. Do you see the situations as similar?”
“I know the difference between a woman and drugs.” Though he wondered if quitting Tuesday wouldn’t actually be harder than kicking junk.
“Stop being such a defensive dick. I might even agree if you were a junkie. But you aren’t. You used to be. Now you’re just a grumpy asshole who could be getting laid a lot more regularly but would rather punish himself by holding what he needs away to prove some sort of point that does not matter. You kicked heroin. Tuesday is not drugs. She’s not an addiction. You’re not out of control for liking a woman a lot,” Damien said, feeding the cats.
“You guys stop feeding the cats from your plates.” Damien had hit the mark on several of those comments and Ezra would rather not focus on that right then.
“Whatever.”
“I’m going to spoil the fuck out of all your goddamn kids. Know that right now.”
Vaughan snorted. “Too late. My girls already have more shit than they need and it’s got Hurley written all over it. Kelly’s family are assholes, but you people send my kids so much stuff. I had no idea how much stuff until I was at their house on a daily basis.”
“Yeah, so what’s going on with that?” Ezra leaned forward.
“Nope. I’m here to talk about you. And to pick up mail and some clothes. The girls are up with Mom and Dad having pizza and when that’s over, I’m taking them home because they have school and Kelly will punch me in the throat if they’re back after nine.”
“Are you living there now?”
“In the guest room. But again, first we talk about Ezra and then I’ll talk about what’s going on in Gresham.”
“There’s not much more to say. I have what I guess you’d describe as a girlfriend. It’s far more serious than anything I’ve done before and I’m mainly okay with that. It’s not like no one knows about it. Hell, Paddy and his girlfriend just spent four days with me and Tuesday. I’m done talking about it. Thank you for being concerned.”
Paddy used his middle finger to salute that comment. “I’m more nosy than concerned. I figure you two have it handled. She’s got as much dark, tragic backstory as you do but she’s strong. She doesn’t take your shit, which I like.”
Vaughan hooted. “Ha! Do tell.”
As his brothers started teasing him about how Tuesday managed his grumpiness without too much effort, Ezra looked around the room and was totally content. It wouldn’t be that perfect moment all the time. They’d fight; they always did. But it never failed to click back to this connection and closeness they all shared.
And that was something to count on. Something he did count on all the time. He’d get through this whatever with Tuesday. They had something. A draw to one another she’d said and had been right.
But no matter how that turned out, he always had his family. And that meant everything.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SHE SHOWED UP at his door in her most flattering jeans, a button-down shirt she knew made her boobs look righteous and her boots. When he opened, his gaze lingered on her cleavage—which is why she’d worn the shirt—and then up to her face.
“Hey, come in.”
He pulled her into a hug once she’d got inside and it felt like coming home. And then the fear came. She had this thing, this wonderful sense of belonging with someone. It was something she wondered if she’d ever have again with a man. It had been difficult to live without that after Eric died. If Ezra walked away after this...
“You smell good,” he murmured into her hair.
She kissed the side of his neck. “You taste good. Happy Saturday, Ezra.”
He stepped back after one last kiss and suddenly three furry bodies were there, each demanding attention. Laughing and feeling much better, she knelt to deliver love to everyone else who lived in Ezra’s house.
“Okay, guys, leave Tuesday be.” Ezra helped her to stand. “You want to head out now to ride?”
It had only been since Monday that she’d seen him last. Four days. It wasn’t that long at all. Hell, the week before they’d gone up to the mountains she had only seen him once and it hadn’t seemed like a big deal.
But this time, wow, she’d missed him.
“I’m a little embarrassed at how excited I am to go out riding.”
That day it made him laugh and it was the perfect response.
“It’s okay to laugh, you know. I’m not going to run out and buy heroin because Vaughan brings up our storied and violent past. But if I do you can blame him in therapy. I will.”
He hugged his baby brother on his way back into the living room.
They all settled in once again and felt surprisingly normal considering all the stuff going on for each man in the room.
Paddy wasn’t one to let it go, so of course he got back to poking at Ezra. “To catch up, I was remarking on your use of the word crave.”
“Why? It’s a good word.”
“It’s a good word for me. Or Damien. But you? Well it’s a loaded word.”
Ezra didn’t say much for a while.
“Needing something on that level isn’t stable ground for a junkie.”
Paddy nodded. “Fair enough. Do you see the situations as similar?”
“I know the difference between a woman and drugs.” Though he wondered if quitting Tuesday wouldn’t actually be harder than kicking junk.
“Stop being such a defensive dick. I might even agree if you were a junkie. But you aren’t. You used to be. Now you’re just a grumpy asshole who could be getting laid a lot more regularly but would rather punish himself by holding what he needs away to prove some sort of point that does not matter. You kicked heroin. Tuesday is not drugs. She’s not an addiction. You’re not out of control for liking a woman a lot,” Damien said, feeding the cats.
“You guys stop feeding the cats from your plates.” Damien had hit the mark on several of those comments and Ezra would rather not focus on that right then.
“Whatever.”
“I’m going to spoil the fuck out of all your goddamn kids. Know that right now.”
Vaughan snorted. “Too late. My girls already have more shit than they need and it’s got Hurley written all over it. Kelly’s family are assholes, but you people send my kids so much stuff. I had no idea how much stuff until I was at their house on a daily basis.”
“Yeah, so what’s going on with that?” Ezra leaned forward.
“Nope. I’m here to talk about you. And to pick up mail and some clothes. The girls are up with Mom and Dad having pizza and when that’s over, I’m taking them home because they have school and Kelly will punch me in the throat if they’re back after nine.”
“Are you living there now?”
“In the guest room. But again, first we talk about Ezra and then I’ll talk about what’s going on in Gresham.”
“There’s not much more to say. I have what I guess you’d describe as a girlfriend. It’s far more serious than anything I’ve done before and I’m mainly okay with that. It’s not like no one knows about it. Hell, Paddy and his girlfriend just spent four days with me and Tuesday. I’m done talking about it. Thank you for being concerned.”
Paddy used his middle finger to salute that comment. “I’m more nosy than concerned. I figure you two have it handled. She’s got as much dark, tragic backstory as you do but she’s strong. She doesn’t take your shit, which I like.”
Vaughan hooted. “Ha! Do tell.”
As his brothers started teasing him about how Tuesday managed his grumpiness without too much effort, Ezra looked around the room and was totally content. It wouldn’t be that perfect moment all the time. They’d fight; they always did. But it never failed to click back to this connection and closeness they all shared.
And that was something to count on. Something he did count on all the time. He’d get through this whatever with Tuesday. They had something. A draw to one another she’d said and had been right.
But no matter how that turned out, he always had his family. And that meant everything.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SHE SHOWED UP at his door in her most flattering jeans, a button-down shirt she knew made her boobs look righteous and her boots. When he opened, his gaze lingered on her cleavage—which is why she’d worn the shirt—and then up to her face.
“Hey, come in.”
He pulled her into a hug once she’d got inside and it felt like coming home. And then the fear came. She had this thing, this wonderful sense of belonging with someone. It was something she wondered if she’d ever have again with a man. It had been difficult to live without that after Eric died. If Ezra walked away after this...
“You smell good,” he murmured into her hair.
She kissed the side of his neck. “You taste good. Happy Saturday, Ezra.”
He stepped back after one last kiss and suddenly three furry bodies were there, each demanding attention. Laughing and feeling much better, she knelt to deliver love to everyone else who lived in Ezra’s house.
“Okay, guys, leave Tuesday be.” Ezra helped her to stand. “You want to head out now to ride?”
It had only been since Monday that she’d seen him last. Four days. It wasn’t that long at all. Hell, the week before they’d gone up to the mountains she had only seen him once and it hadn’t seemed like a big deal.
But this time, wow, she’d missed him.
“I’m a little embarrassed at how excited I am to go out riding.”
