Broken Open
Page 73
They hung up and Ezra remembered he needed to call Vaughan, too. Maybe he’d check in after finishing up with the accountant. He could swing out to Gresham and still get back to Tuesday in time.
There’d been a need to remove himself to get better. But he’d still had shame at what he’d done back then. Who he’d been. And that had kept him estranged from a lot of people. All that seemed to be changing and it was good. It felt awesome to be reconnecting with parts of his life from before that were good and right.
Which scared him because it all came bundled up with the entirety of change in his life he tried to work through. Mainly the Tuesday part.
He had to pull over about three blocks from his accountant’s house. Leaning his head against the steering wheel.
It had been right and necessary to apologize to people when he’d got clean.
He’d reconnected with many of his friends but rebuilding had taken a lot of energy. So he’d started at home, where it was necessary to concentrate. And now, after five years, he’d been able to regain the trust of his brothers and parents. He’d shown fans and the label that he was all about the music once more.
But there had been friendships like the one he’d shared with Jeremy that he’d been scared to face. What he’d done, who he’d been, haunted Ezra even to that very moment.
But then Tuesday had shown up and the way he’d wanted her had overruled any fear or discomfort at pursuing something more than a few sessions in the bedroom and boom out the door.
The way they’d slow danced toward where they stood at the moment had been a big part of why he hadn’t kept her away from the start. But now, after the way he’d felt the day of her party, he knew there was no hiding from the intensity of what he felt for her. And after years when all his most intense feelings were negative, feeling so good made him panic. He didn’t know how to judge if it was an okay sort of happy.
Baby steps. That’s what he needed to do.
He looked in the mirror quickly, finger combing his hair and getting himself together. He was stronger than this. Better than this.
“I’m ferocious. I’m dark and broody and broken,” he whispered as he pulled back into traffic.
* * *
SHE SAT IN the cab of his truck and hid her smile. That morning he’d nervously asked if he should have come back to the ranch to get his Porsche instead of taking the truck to her parents’ house. He was so ridiculously sweet.
“I didn’t expect to see Vaughan there today,” Ezra spoke, interrupting her thoughts.
He’d come with Kelly about half an hour before Ezra showed up. Then when he’d gone off with Vaughan for a few minutes, she’d finally had the chance to speak to Kelly in private to ask her for an update.
And then it had got really busy and they’d ended up selling every last piece so Vaughan and Kelly went home when Tuesday and Ezra left and Tuesday had barely had three minutes to talk with Kelly alone to get an update on what was happening.
“Me, either. He looks good, though. Like he’s maybe gained a few pounds. She always looks fantastic. Do you hope they reconcile?”
“Kelly and Vaughan are a good example of what happens when love isn’t enough. She’s two years younger than him, but really, until maybe three years or so ago, she was far more mature. When she got pregnant it was like some switch got thrown. You could see the difference. He didn’t change. It was ugly and awful and it broke my heart because all these years she’s been raising them every day. He’s a spectator and sometime participant in his children’s lives. And he made that choice. So now he’s grown and matured and understands what he gave up. He can look at the entire situation and know he’s got no one to blame but himself. He can’t ever go back and undo it. That’s a heavy load.”
“There are second chances, you know.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’ve given second chances. I’ve been given second chances. She’s changed, too. She’s not that twenty-three-year-old who didn’t know if she could survive without him. She did. And she thrived. She’s got a great life and Vaughan isn’t the only man who loves her.”
He was quiet a long time and then her phone rang. “Gotta take this—it’s Di.” She swiped a finger to answer the call. “Hey, Mom. I have the naan.”
“Oh good.” There was a lot of noise in the background.
“I take it the house is full already?”
“Lord above. Both your brothers are here. All the boys and Sadie, too.” Sadie was her seven-year-old niece and the boys most likely meant GJ and his wife Alana’s oldest, Darius, who was ten, and Shawn’s twins, Alonzo and Adam, with his wife, Tisha.
“I’m bummed we didn’t bring Ezra’s dog. She’d be in heaven with all those kids.” Loopy would love the big backyard and running around with all the laughing, playing kids would make her day.
“Next time. Did he bring his guitar?”
“Mom, we talked about this.”
“What? Just talk to him about it. Did you talk to him about it yet? Just one song. Surely he wouldn’t deny my request.”
“Diana Robinson Easton, don’t even try that with me.” But Tuesday knew it was a lost cause. Her mother would be dead set now.
“GJ agreed to play the bass.”
“Okay, well we’ll be there in a few minutes. Ezra is getting off the freeway now. Do you need us to stop and get anything else? Do you have enough to drink?”
There’d been a need to remove himself to get better. But he’d still had shame at what he’d done back then. Who he’d been. And that had kept him estranged from a lot of people. All that seemed to be changing and it was good. It felt awesome to be reconnecting with parts of his life from before that were good and right.
Which scared him because it all came bundled up with the entirety of change in his life he tried to work through. Mainly the Tuesday part.
He had to pull over about three blocks from his accountant’s house. Leaning his head against the steering wheel.
It had been right and necessary to apologize to people when he’d got clean.
He’d reconnected with many of his friends but rebuilding had taken a lot of energy. So he’d started at home, where it was necessary to concentrate. And now, after five years, he’d been able to regain the trust of his brothers and parents. He’d shown fans and the label that he was all about the music once more.
But there had been friendships like the one he’d shared with Jeremy that he’d been scared to face. What he’d done, who he’d been, haunted Ezra even to that very moment.
But then Tuesday had shown up and the way he’d wanted her had overruled any fear or discomfort at pursuing something more than a few sessions in the bedroom and boom out the door.
The way they’d slow danced toward where they stood at the moment had been a big part of why he hadn’t kept her away from the start. But now, after the way he’d felt the day of her party, he knew there was no hiding from the intensity of what he felt for her. And after years when all his most intense feelings were negative, feeling so good made him panic. He didn’t know how to judge if it was an okay sort of happy.
Baby steps. That’s what he needed to do.
He looked in the mirror quickly, finger combing his hair and getting himself together. He was stronger than this. Better than this.
“I’m ferocious. I’m dark and broody and broken,” he whispered as he pulled back into traffic.
* * *
SHE SAT IN the cab of his truck and hid her smile. That morning he’d nervously asked if he should have come back to the ranch to get his Porsche instead of taking the truck to her parents’ house. He was so ridiculously sweet.
“I didn’t expect to see Vaughan there today,” Ezra spoke, interrupting her thoughts.
He’d come with Kelly about half an hour before Ezra showed up. Then when he’d gone off with Vaughan for a few minutes, she’d finally had the chance to speak to Kelly in private to ask her for an update.
And then it had got really busy and they’d ended up selling every last piece so Vaughan and Kelly went home when Tuesday and Ezra left and Tuesday had barely had three minutes to talk with Kelly alone to get an update on what was happening.
“Me, either. He looks good, though. Like he’s maybe gained a few pounds. She always looks fantastic. Do you hope they reconcile?”
“Kelly and Vaughan are a good example of what happens when love isn’t enough. She’s two years younger than him, but really, until maybe three years or so ago, she was far more mature. When she got pregnant it was like some switch got thrown. You could see the difference. He didn’t change. It was ugly and awful and it broke my heart because all these years she’s been raising them every day. He’s a spectator and sometime participant in his children’s lives. And he made that choice. So now he’s grown and matured and understands what he gave up. He can look at the entire situation and know he’s got no one to blame but himself. He can’t ever go back and undo it. That’s a heavy load.”
“There are second chances, you know.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’ve given second chances. I’ve been given second chances. She’s changed, too. She’s not that twenty-three-year-old who didn’t know if she could survive without him. She did. And she thrived. She’s got a great life and Vaughan isn’t the only man who loves her.”
He was quiet a long time and then her phone rang. “Gotta take this—it’s Di.” She swiped a finger to answer the call. “Hey, Mom. I have the naan.”
“Oh good.” There was a lot of noise in the background.
“I take it the house is full already?”
“Lord above. Both your brothers are here. All the boys and Sadie, too.” Sadie was her seven-year-old niece and the boys most likely meant GJ and his wife Alana’s oldest, Darius, who was ten, and Shawn’s twins, Alonzo and Adam, with his wife, Tisha.
“I’m bummed we didn’t bring Ezra’s dog. She’d be in heaven with all those kids.” Loopy would love the big backyard and running around with all the laughing, playing kids would make her day.
“Next time. Did he bring his guitar?”
“Mom, we talked about this.”
“What? Just talk to him about it. Did you talk to him about it yet? Just one song. Surely he wouldn’t deny my request.”
“Diana Robinson Easton, don’t even try that with me.” But Tuesday knew it was a lost cause. Her mother would be dead set now.
“GJ agreed to play the bass.”
“Okay, well we’ll be there in a few minutes. Ezra is getting off the freeway now. Do you need us to stop and get anything else? Do you have enough to drink?”
