Building From Ashes
Page 109
“Shhh,” Brigid soothed her, wishing there was something she could do. But no cure had been found for tainted humans. They didn’t even know where to start looking. “You’re doing fine, Emily. You’ve been an amazing help.”
“I was a crap friend, Brig.”
“No, you weren’t.” Brigid could feel the tears come to her eyes. “You were my only friend.”
“I wish I’d never taken you out partying. That was so awful of me.”
“No.” Brigid’s voice was hoarse. “You know, everything happens for a reason. I didn’t see it at the time, but looking back… there’s nothing in my life that I’d change. As horrible as some of it has been, it’s all worked together to make me who I am. And… I like that person. I finally do. I’m strong. I’ve learned a lot. I have things to offer now. I don’t want to give that up.”
Emily blinked slowly and a dreamy smile crossed her lips. “Are you in love, Brigid? You should be. You deserve love. You deserve the happiest happy ending in the world.”
She sat down and leaned her elbow on the edge of the bed. For a moment, they were two girls in college, confiding their secrets again.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“I’m dying, so I won’t have much time to gossip. I think you’re safe.”
Brigid said, “I’m in love with a priest.”
Emily blinked, opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally, she said, “You really don’t do anything the easy way, do you?”
She let her head fall forward and muffled a quiet laugh. “No, I guess not.”
“Does he love you back?”
She nodded. “He says he’s courting me. Wants to marry me. When he was a human, priests could marry, so he doesn’t see a problem with it.”
“But you do.” It wasn’t a question.
Brigid hesitated. “I do—I did. I don’t know anymore. Those rules get drilled in young. But the longer he’s gone…” She blinked back tears again and lifted her eyes to meet Emily’s. “I think, Em, that as long as he comes back safe from wherever he is, I’ll take him any way I can get him. Collar or not.”
Emily shrugged. “If it doesn’t bother him, then don’t let it bother you. He’s a vampire, of course.”
“Yes.”
“Well then, both of you will just have to live forever so you avoid eternal damnation. Convenient when you think about it.”
Brigid continued to watch Emily as her breathing became labored. The monitors stalled for a moment, probably from Brigid’s energy, then they smoothed out again and Emily took a deep breath.
“Part of me,” she gasped. “Part of me wants to ask if you’d kill me, Brigid. I don’t know how long I’ll last like this. They don’t know what’s wrong with me, just that I’m wasting away. None of the food they give me, not even the feeding tube, seems to do anything. So, I’m going to die. And it’s going to be painful, probably. And part of me wants to avoid that.” Emily’s eyes rose to Brigid’s, which were filled with bloody tears she wiped on her shirt sleeve. “But then part of me knows that I’d lose the last bit of time with my parents. That it would kill you to do it, even though you probably would if I asked.”
I would, Brigid thought. If Emily truly wanted, she would do it. She wouldn’t drink from her, but there were other ways that wouldn’t hurt. She could use her amnis to calm her friend so she drifted away and felt no pain. She swallowed hard as Emily continued speaking.
“You would do it because you never shrank from doing the hard thing. But I won’t ask. It’s like you said earlier, everything happens for a reason. Life. Death. Suffering and joy. There is a frightening beauty in all this that I don’t want to lose, even if there’s pain, too.”
“Are you sure, Em?”
“I am.” She closed her eyes and Brigid could feel her begin to drift into sleep. “I’ll be here for as long as I am. And when I die, have a damn fruity drink in my honor. You’ll hate it, but it’ll make you smile. Even if you don’t want to.”
“I love you, Emily.”
Emily smiled, though her eyes did not open. “Thanks, Brig. That’s better than I deserve. You should go now. It’s getting close to sunrise, isn’t it? Take care of yourself.”
Brigid sniffed and rose to her feet, brushing back Emily’s hair from her forehead as she heard Mr. and Mrs. Neely approaching in the hall.
“I always do,” she whispered. “Good-bye.”
Brigid stumbled into her house just as she started feeling the pull of day. As soon as she did, her sleepy senses went on alert.
There was someone in her house! Old energy. And… panting?
She blinked once as Madoc bounded down the hall and pushed into her legs. She swayed and tilted. What was Madoc doing there? Deirdre had taken the dog back to Wicklow when she returned from Rome. Unless…
“You mutt.” She heard him call. “Don’t knock her over; it’s almost dawn. She’s probably exhausted.”
Carwyn was back.
A brilliant smile lit up her face when she saw him approaching. Her vision was swimming, but he was still the most wonderful sight in the world.
“Brigid?”
She was grinning like an idiot and still couldn’t speak. There were too many things to say and she was going to pass out on her face. How completely romantic and elegant of her. Luckily, Carwyn caught her in his arms and she took a deep breath of his scent. Dark earth and wind and a woody kind of spice. Home. She let out a breath and wound her arms around his neck as he lifted her up.
“I was a crap friend, Brig.”
“No, you weren’t.” Brigid could feel the tears come to her eyes. “You were my only friend.”
“I wish I’d never taken you out partying. That was so awful of me.”
“No.” Brigid’s voice was hoarse. “You know, everything happens for a reason. I didn’t see it at the time, but looking back… there’s nothing in my life that I’d change. As horrible as some of it has been, it’s all worked together to make me who I am. And… I like that person. I finally do. I’m strong. I’ve learned a lot. I have things to offer now. I don’t want to give that up.”
Emily blinked slowly and a dreamy smile crossed her lips. “Are you in love, Brigid? You should be. You deserve love. You deserve the happiest happy ending in the world.”
She sat down and leaned her elbow on the edge of the bed. For a moment, they were two girls in college, confiding their secrets again.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“I’m dying, so I won’t have much time to gossip. I think you’re safe.”
Brigid said, “I’m in love with a priest.”
Emily blinked, opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally, she said, “You really don’t do anything the easy way, do you?”
She let her head fall forward and muffled a quiet laugh. “No, I guess not.”
“Does he love you back?”
She nodded. “He says he’s courting me. Wants to marry me. When he was a human, priests could marry, so he doesn’t see a problem with it.”
“But you do.” It wasn’t a question.
Brigid hesitated. “I do—I did. I don’t know anymore. Those rules get drilled in young. But the longer he’s gone…” She blinked back tears again and lifted her eyes to meet Emily’s. “I think, Em, that as long as he comes back safe from wherever he is, I’ll take him any way I can get him. Collar or not.”
Emily shrugged. “If it doesn’t bother him, then don’t let it bother you. He’s a vampire, of course.”
“Yes.”
“Well then, both of you will just have to live forever so you avoid eternal damnation. Convenient when you think about it.”
Brigid continued to watch Emily as her breathing became labored. The monitors stalled for a moment, probably from Brigid’s energy, then they smoothed out again and Emily took a deep breath.
“Part of me,” she gasped. “Part of me wants to ask if you’d kill me, Brigid. I don’t know how long I’ll last like this. They don’t know what’s wrong with me, just that I’m wasting away. None of the food they give me, not even the feeding tube, seems to do anything. So, I’m going to die. And it’s going to be painful, probably. And part of me wants to avoid that.” Emily’s eyes rose to Brigid’s, which were filled with bloody tears she wiped on her shirt sleeve. “But then part of me knows that I’d lose the last bit of time with my parents. That it would kill you to do it, even though you probably would if I asked.”
I would, Brigid thought. If Emily truly wanted, she would do it. She wouldn’t drink from her, but there were other ways that wouldn’t hurt. She could use her amnis to calm her friend so she drifted away and felt no pain. She swallowed hard as Emily continued speaking.
“You would do it because you never shrank from doing the hard thing. But I won’t ask. It’s like you said earlier, everything happens for a reason. Life. Death. Suffering and joy. There is a frightening beauty in all this that I don’t want to lose, even if there’s pain, too.”
“Are you sure, Em?”
“I am.” She closed her eyes and Brigid could feel her begin to drift into sleep. “I’ll be here for as long as I am. And when I die, have a damn fruity drink in my honor. You’ll hate it, but it’ll make you smile. Even if you don’t want to.”
“I love you, Emily.”
Emily smiled, though her eyes did not open. “Thanks, Brig. That’s better than I deserve. You should go now. It’s getting close to sunrise, isn’t it? Take care of yourself.”
Brigid sniffed and rose to her feet, brushing back Emily’s hair from her forehead as she heard Mr. and Mrs. Neely approaching in the hall.
“I always do,” she whispered. “Good-bye.”
Brigid stumbled into her house just as she started feeling the pull of day. As soon as she did, her sleepy senses went on alert.
There was someone in her house! Old energy. And… panting?
She blinked once as Madoc bounded down the hall and pushed into her legs. She swayed and tilted. What was Madoc doing there? Deirdre had taken the dog back to Wicklow when she returned from Rome. Unless…
“You mutt.” She heard him call. “Don’t knock her over; it’s almost dawn. She’s probably exhausted.”
Carwyn was back.
A brilliant smile lit up her face when she saw him approaching. Her vision was swimming, but he was still the most wonderful sight in the world.
“Brigid?”
She was grinning like an idiot and still couldn’t speak. There were too many things to say and she was going to pass out on her face. How completely romantic and elegant of her. Luckily, Carwyn caught her in his arms and she took a deep breath of his scent. Dark earth and wind and a woody kind of spice. Home. She let out a breath and wound her arms around his neck as he lifted her up.
