Building From Ashes
Page 80
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not.” She turned back toward the castle, but Cathy intercepted her and tugged on her arm. Brigid immediately sent out a quick burst of energy, which caused Cathy to stumble back.
“Will you stop?” she yelled. “You bet it’s my business! Carwyn is part of my family. He’s my husband’s sire, and he’s also a friend.”
She just kept walking.
“What are you afraid of?” Cathy yelled.
Brigid spun around. “Everything! Don’t you understand that?”
Cathy frowned. “But I just showed you—”
“I’m a mess, Cathy!” Brigid walked toward her slowly with her arms spread out. “A horrible, destructive, damaged mess. Before I was a vampire, I had to take drugs just to let a man touch me. My anxiety may be gone, but now…” Brigid stopped and drew in a ragged breath, determined not to cry. “I hurt everything I touch. Not just physically.
“It doesn’t have to be that way!”
“I’m a mess,” she continued. “And he’s a priest. I shouldn’t even allow myself to think about him that way because he’s so… so good. And I’m not. I don’t know what he thinks he sees in me, but—”
“Shut up!” Cathy glared. “Just shut up. Don’t insult yourself and him by finishing that sentence.” The taller woman paused, then looked out over the lake until she turned back to Brigid. “I understand that you have problems, Brigid. Both of you. And I may not believe the same things that Carwyn does regarding God and the church, but I respect that he does. And it’s something he’s dedicated a thousand years to. Think about that before you dismiss his feelings, because it’s not a step he would have taken lightly.”
Brigid swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know.”
Cathy’s eyes softened. “Don’t lose something precious because the timing doesn’t seem right. I almost did and it would have killed me. You have time, Brigid. Time to mess up and make up. Time to figure things out. Together.” Suddenly, Cathy laughed. “Remember, when it comes to relationships, he’s probably just as clueless as you are!”
“That’s both comforting and offensive at the same time,” she muttered.
“Take your time, but don’t throw it away, Brigid. You’ll regret it forever.”
Time. Brigid took a deep breath and relaxed. She kept forgetting how much time she had. An eternity of it now, if she wanted.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“And thank Max, too.”
“Oh, he doesn’t mind. He likes showing off his scars, too.”
Brigid’s eyes widened. “I thought you said—”
“You don’t have to hurt your lover.” Cathy gave a wicked grin. “Doesn’t mean they might not want you to.”
Brigid shook her head. “Speaking of things I didn’t need to know.”
Cathy laughed. “Also, a warning. Never underestimate the possessive streak we all carry. Fire vampires tend to be worse than others. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. It’s just a reality, so don’t forget it.”
Brigid thought about her reaction to seeing the scars she’s put on Carwyn’s body. Horror. Guilt. Sorrow. Then… desire. Possession.
Mine.
Her thoughts must have shown on her face because Cathy burst into laughter. “I knew it,” she said. “You can argue as much as you want, but you’re so done for. Totally nuts about him.”
“Shut up, Cathy.”
When the other vampire finally stopped laughing, she said, “And don’t forget, showers are your friends. And baths. When you really want to let loose, that’s probably your best option. Especially when you’re young.”
“I get the idea.”
“Once you get in the throes—”
“Please.” Brigid winced. “Please stop now.”
“I’ve heard Carwyn is very fond of the beach. Just thought I’d mention that.”
Brigid just groaned and covered her face.
“Hey, the guy hasn’t been laid in a thousand years. It’s about time.”
“I’m going to go curl up in my room and die now.”
“Whatever, Guilt-Girl. This is why you should be an atheist.”
Brigid just shook her head and kept walking.
“Hey, Brigid?” Cathy called behind her. “Tell me, did the earth move? Because, you know, it can! Having sex outside takes on a whole new dimension when you’re with an earth vampire. Just another thing I wanted to mention.”
“Shut up, Cathy!”
Carwyn stared into his beer. “Who knew that the most effective way of keeping modern women away was to tell them you were in love with them?”
He let the sounds of the pub wash over him, ignoring the football game in the background, ignoring the chattering of his two sons, and ignoring the persistent ache in his chest that pulled his thoughts back toward the castle and Brigid.
Brigid, who had avoided him for almost seven days.
Carwyn knew that, superficially, he was a handsome man. He’d always drawn female attention, whether he wanted it or not. And he loved women. He loved the layers of them. Loved the tangles and hidden corners of their minds and hearts. He’d loved the many female friends he’d had over the centuries. And he’d certainly never complained about the sight of a beautiful girl. Women were the crown of God’s creation. Ignoring their beauty was akin to sacrilege. And more than one had taken a fancy to him over the centuries; some he indulged more than others. Harmless flirtation had been a game to him. Though many had tried to take it further, he’d pushed them away with a gentle nudge.
“No, it’s not.” She turned back toward the castle, but Cathy intercepted her and tugged on her arm. Brigid immediately sent out a quick burst of energy, which caused Cathy to stumble back.
“Will you stop?” she yelled. “You bet it’s my business! Carwyn is part of my family. He’s my husband’s sire, and he’s also a friend.”
She just kept walking.
“What are you afraid of?” Cathy yelled.
Brigid spun around. “Everything! Don’t you understand that?”
Cathy frowned. “But I just showed you—”
“I’m a mess, Cathy!” Brigid walked toward her slowly with her arms spread out. “A horrible, destructive, damaged mess. Before I was a vampire, I had to take drugs just to let a man touch me. My anxiety may be gone, but now…” Brigid stopped and drew in a ragged breath, determined not to cry. “I hurt everything I touch. Not just physically.
“It doesn’t have to be that way!”
“I’m a mess,” she continued. “And he’s a priest. I shouldn’t even allow myself to think about him that way because he’s so… so good. And I’m not. I don’t know what he thinks he sees in me, but—”
“Shut up!” Cathy glared. “Just shut up. Don’t insult yourself and him by finishing that sentence.” The taller woman paused, then looked out over the lake until she turned back to Brigid. “I understand that you have problems, Brigid. Both of you. And I may not believe the same things that Carwyn does regarding God and the church, but I respect that he does. And it’s something he’s dedicated a thousand years to. Think about that before you dismiss his feelings, because it’s not a step he would have taken lightly.”
Brigid swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know.”
Cathy’s eyes softened. “Don’t lose something precious because the timing doesn’t seem right. I almost did and it would have killed me. You have time, Brigid. Time to mess up and make up. Time to figure things out. Together.” Suddenly, Cathy laughed. “Remember, when it comes to relationships, he’s probably just as clueless as you are!”
“That’s both comforting and offensive at the same time,” she muttered.
“Take your time, but don’t throw it away, Brigid. You’ll regret it forever.”
Time. Brigid took a deep breath and relaxed. She kept forgetting how much time she had. An eternity of it now, if she wanted.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“And thank Max, too.”
“Oh, he doesn’t mind. He likes showing off his scars, too.”
Brigid’s eyes widened. “I thought you said—”
“You don’t have to hurt your lover.” Cathy gave a wicked grin. “Doesn’t mean they might not want you to.”
Brigid shook her head. “Speaking of things I didn’t need to know.”
Cathy laughed. “Also, a warning. Never underestimate the possessive streak we all carry. Fire vampires tend to be worse than others. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. It’s just a reality, so don’t forget it.”
Brigid thought about her reaction to seeing the scars she’s put on Carwyn’s body. Horror. Guilt. Sorrow. Then… desire. Possession.
Mine.
Her thoughts must have shown on her face because Cathy burst into laughter. “I knew it,” she said. “You can argue as much as you want, but you’re so done for. Totally nuts about him.”
“Shut up, Cathy.”
When the other vampire finally stopped laughing, she said, “And don’t forget, showers are your friends. And baths. When you really want to let loose, that’s probably your best option. Especially when you’re young.”
“I get the idea.”
“Once you get in the throes—”
“Please.” Brigid winced. “Please stop now.”
“I’ve heard Carwyn is very fond of the beach. Just thought I’d mention that.”
Brigid just groaned and covered her face.
“Hey, the guy hasn’t been laid in a thousand years. It’s about time.”
“I’m going to go curl up in my room and die now.”
“Whatever, Guilt-Girl. This is why you should be an atheist.”
Brigid just shook her head and kept walking.
“Hey, Brigid?” Cathy called behind her. “Tell me, did the earth move? Because, you know, it can! Having sex outside takes on a whole new dimension when you’re with an earth vampire. Just another thing I wanted to mention.”
“Shut up, Cathy!”
Carwyn stared into his beer. “Who knew that the most effective way of keeping modern women away was to tell them you were in love with them?”
He let the sounds of the pub wash over him, ignoring the football game in the background, ignoring the chattering of his two sons, and ignoring the persistent ache in his chest that pulled his thoughts back toward the castle and Brigid.
Brigid, who had avoided him for almost seven days.
Carwyn knew that, superficially, he was a handsome man. He’d always drawn female attention, whether he wanted it or not. And he loved women. He loved the layers of them. Loved the tangles and hidden corners of their minds and hearts. He’d loved the many female friends he’d had over the centuries. And he’d certainly never complained about the sight of a beautiful girl. Women were the crown of God’s creation. Ignoring their beauty was akin to sacrilege. And more than one had taken a fancy to him over the centuries; some he indulged more than others. Harmless flirtation had been a game to him. Though many had tried to take it further, he’d pushed them away with a gentle nudge.
