Burn for Burn
Page 58
And then Kat’s in front of me, and suddenly everything stops moving.
I stare at the trickle of blood running down the side of her face. I’ve hurt her, too.
“Are you okay, Mary?”
I start to shake.
You can only chalk up things to coincidence so many times before you have to face the truth. It wasn’t wind that day that made the lockers slam shut. It wasn’t a misstep that made Rennie almost fall off the pyramid. And tonight, the lights popping, the surge of electricity.
It was me.
Urgently, Kat says, “Let’s get out of here.”
She reaches for my arm, but I back away. No. I am not leaving. I’m not going anywhere. Not before I know if Reeve is okay or not. Kat’s losing her patience with me, I can tell. “Mary. We have to go. NOW!”
“This is my fault, Kat. I did this.”
“Shut up, Mary. It was an accident. Reeve must have had an allergic reaction to something.”
I press my lips together and fight back the tears. “You’re bleeding. I hurt you.”
She shakes her head incredulously. “Are you serious? Mary, that was a power surge. Or something. Whatever. Please. I’m begging you. Let’s just get out of here, okay? We need to lay low and get in touch with Lillia.”
“I never wanted to hurt him.” As soon as the words come, so do my tears. I cry like my heart is breaking, because it is. “Is he dead?” I ask, my voice breaking. “Is he?” When Kat doesn’t answer, I fall to my knees, put my head in my hands.
Reeve might die tonight.
It makes me want to die too.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
LILLIA
THE HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM IS SO CROWDED, I THINK everyone who came to homecoming must be here. The boys are mostly on the floor or leaning against the walls, and the girls are sitting on the chairs and couches. I’m on a couch sandwiched between Rennie and Alex. Rennie’s head is on Ash’s shoulder, and she’s finally stopped crying. I want to cry, but I can’t. I don’t have the right. I am responsible for this. I am the one who put that ecstasy in his drink.
When Reeve’s parents got here, I couldn’t even look at them. Ash whispered to me, “Mr. Tabatsky is crying.” I just kept my head down and stared at the floor. Mrs. Tabatsky had on house slippers. Rennie jumped up and gave her some tissues from her purse, and they hugged each other for a long time.
Next to me Alex says in a low voice, “He’s going to be fine.”
It’s not comforting. Because Alex can’t know that. Nobody can know that. They say he’s in stable condition, but they’re running tests on his brain and heart to find out what caused the seizure. He definitely broke his leg. They don’t know yet if the fall caused permanent damage to his spine. Reeve. Reeve the quarterback. Reeve, who loves to dance and goof off and swim, not being able to walk anymore? It’s inconceivable.
I’m praying with all my might that the doctors don’t do a drug test. I know that was the point of tonight, to get Reeve kicked off the team. But what if someone does an investigation? What if they figure it out somehow, that Kat, Mary, and I were behind everything? What’s going to happen to us then? I wish I was there with them.
When Alex gets up to go get the Tabatskys some coffee, Rennie sits up straight. “Lil, what was Reeve saying to you up there? On stage?”
“When?” I ask, not meeting her eyes.
“Right before he kissed you,” she says flatly.
I feel my cheeks heat up. “Nothing. I don’t know. He wasn’t making any sense.”
“From where I was standing, it looked like you kissed him back.”
“No, I didn’t! He practically attacked me!” I lower my voice. “He didn’t know what he was doing, Ren. He must have had a lot more to drink than the rest of us.”
Rennie nods. “He definitely didn’t seem like he was in his right mind.” She chews on her fingernail. “But you know how I feel about him.”
“I swear, Rennie. I didn’t kiss him back. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”
Rennie bites her lip and nods. A few tears fall down her cheeks. She wipes them away, then goes to sit near Reeve’s brothers. I get up and go to the soda machine. I want to turn my phone on and make sure Kat and Mary are okay, but using a cell phone at the hospital is against the rules. I guess I’ll have to wait until I can slip away.
What on earth are we going to do now?
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
KAT
WE’RE SITTING OUT ON THE DOCK BY MY BOAT. MARY is quiet again. She hasn’t said a word since I finally managed to get her into my car. She just cries every few minutes. I sit next to her and pick broken glass out from the sole of my boot.
Around midnight I get a text. It’s Lillia. Where are you?
I text back that we’re at my boat and for her to get over here ASAP. I have no idea what to do with Mary. Is she having a breakdown? Should I take her to a hospital or something? She’s not hurt or cut anywhere, but the look in her eyes, it scares me.
Twenty minutes later Lillia comes running down the dock. She’s breathless. I stand up. “How is he?”
Lillia bursts into tears. “He’s in the ICU.” She sits down and hugs her knees. Her hair is falling out of its bun. “How did everything get so messed up?”
I look away. “It was my fault. I thought we took out enough votes.”
Mary wipes her nose on her arm.
Tonelessly she says, “I gave the drugs to Reeve. I’m the one who took homecoming away from Rennie. I’m right at the center of everything.”
“Don’t worry,” I interject. “No one’s going to suspect you of anything.”
Lillia’s staring out at the water. “I don’t even know what to think right now. Reeve might be freaking paralyzed, you guys.”
Mary makes a small noise.
“He’s not paralyzed,” I say, as confident as I can. “Trust me, Lil.”
“You didn’t see him. You don’t know.” She shakes her head, tears running down her cheeks. “I should go home. I’m sure my mom’s waiting for me.”
I almost say, Wait. Shouldn’t we get our stories straight first? But then Mary finally speaks.
“This is all my fault,” she says.
Lillia sighs and shakes her head again. Wiping her face, she says, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Mary’s shivering, curled up in a ball. “It was,” she says, looking up at me. “I know it was.”
I stare at the trickle of blood running down the side of her face. I’ve hurt her, too.
“Are you okay, Mary?”
I start to shake.
You can only chalk up things to coincidence so many times before you have to face the truth. It wasn’t wind that day that made the lockers slam shut. It wasn’t a misstep that made Rennie almost fall off the pyramid. And tonight, the lights popping, the surge of electricity.
It was me.
Urgently, Kat says, “Let’s get out of here.”
She reaches for my arm, but I back away. No. I am not leaving. I’m not going anywhere. Not before I know if Reeve is okay or not. Kat’s losing her patience with me, I can tell. “Mary. We have to go. NOW!”
“This is my fault, Kat. I did this.”
“Shut up, Mary. It was an accident. Reeve must have had an allergic reaction to something.”
I press my lips together and fight back the tears. “You’re bleeding. I hurt you.”
She shakes her head incredulously. “Are you serious? Mary, that was a power surge. Or something. Whatever. Please. I’m begging you. Let’s just get out of here, okay? We need to lay low and get in touch with Lillia.”
“I never wanted to hurt him.” As soon as the words come, so do my tears. I cry like my heart is breaking, because it is. “Is he dead?” I ask, my voice breaking. “Is he?” When Kat doesn’t answer, I fall to my knees, put my head in my hands.
Reeve might die tonight.
It makes me want to die too.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
LILLIA
THE HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM IS SO CROWDED, I THINK everyone who came to homecoming must be here. The boys are mostly on the floor or leaning against the walls, and the girls are sitting on the chairs and couches. I’m on a couch sandwiched between Rennie and Alex. Rennie’s head is on Ash’s shoulder, and she’s finally stopped crying. I want to cry, but I can’t. I don’t have the right. I am responsible for this. I am the one who put that ecstasy in his drink.
When Reeve’s parents got here, I couldn’t even look at them. Ash whispered to me, “Mr. Tabatsky is crying.” I just kept my head down and stared at the floor. Mrs. Tabatsky had on house slippers. Rennie jumped up and gave her some tissues from her purse, and they hugged each other for a long time.
Next to me Alex says in a low voice, “He’s going to be fine.”
It’s not comforting. Because Alex can’t know that. Nobody can know that. They say he’s in stable condition, but they’re running tests on his brain and heart to find out what caused the seizure. He definitely broke his leg. They don’t know yet if the fall caused permanent damage to his spine. Reeve. Reeve the quarterback. Reeve, who loves to dance and goof off and swim, not being able to walk anymore? It’s inconceivable.
I’m praying with all my might that the doctors don’t do a drug test. I know that was the point of tonight, to get Reeve kicked off the team. But what if someone does an investigation? What if they figure it out somehow, that Kat, Mary, and I were behind everything? What’s going to happen to us then? I wish I was there with them.
When Alex gets up to go get the Tabatskys some coffee, Rennie sits up straight. “Lil, what was Reeve saying to you up there? On stage?”
“When?” I ask, not meeting her eyes.
“Right before he kissed you,” she says flatly.
I feel my cheeks heat up. “Nothing. I don’t know. He wasn’t making any sense.”
“From where I was standing, it looked like you kissed him back.”
“No, I didn’t! He practically attacked me!” I lower my voice. “He didn’t know what he was doing, Ren. He must have had a lot more to drink than the rest of us.”
Rennie nods. “He definitely didn’t seem like he was in his right mind.” She chews on her fingernail. “But you know how I feel about him.”
“I swear, Rennie. I didn’t kiss him back. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”
Rennie bites her lip and nods. A few tears fall down her cheeks. She wipes them away, then goes to sit near Reeve’s brothers. I get up and go to the soda machine. I want to turn my phone on and make sure Kat and Mary are okay, but using a cell phone at the hospital is against the rules. I guess I’ll have to wait until I can slip away.
What on earth are we going to do now?
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
KAT
WE’RE SITTING OUT ON THE DOCK BY MY BOAT. MARY is quiet again. She hasn’t said a word since I finally managed to get her into my car. She just cries every few minutes. I sit next to her and pick broken glass out from the sole of my boot.
Around midnight I get a text. It’s Lillia. Where are you?
I text back that we’re at my boat and for her to get over here ASAP. I have no idea what to do with Mary. Is she having a breakdown? Should I take her to a hospital or something? She’s not hurt or cut anywhere, but the look in her eyes, it scares me.
Twenty minutes later Lillia comes running down the dock. She’s breathless. I stand up. “How is he?”
Lillia bursts into tears. “He’s in the ICU.” She sits down and hugs her knees. Her hair is falling out of its bun. “How did everything get so messed up?”
I look away. “It was my fault. I thought we took out enough votes.”
Mary wipes her nose on her arm.
Tonelessly she says, “I gave the drugs to Reeve. I’m the one who took homecoming away from Rennie. I’m right at the center of everything.”
“Don’t worry,” I interject. “No one’s going to suspect you of anything.”
Lillia’s staring out at the water. “I don’t even know what to think right now. Reeve might be freaking paralyzed, you guys.”
Mary makes a small noise.
“He’s not paralyzed,” I say, as confident as I can. “Trust me, Lil.”
“You didn’t see him. You don’t know.” She shakes her head, tears running down her cheeks. “I should go home. I’m sure my mom’s waiting for me.”
I almost say, Wait. Shouldn’t we get our stories straight first? But then Mary finally speaks.
“This is all my fault,” she says.
Lillia sighs and shakes her head again. Wiping her face, she says, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Mary’s shivering, curled up in a ball. “It was,” she says, looking up at me. “I know it was.”
