Burning Wild
Page 52
“You had a lot of nightmares,” he pointed out.
She couldn’t deny it. He’d often sprinted to her room to make certain she was all right and stayed to talk until she fell asleep again. “That’s true,” she admitted. “After that, I just wasn’t certain if I was going to stay or not. I thought I’d give it some time while I figured out what I was going to do after the money came in from the settlement.”
Beside her, Jake went very still. “You think about leaving me quite a bit, don’t you?”
Was there hurt in his voice? She was usually quite adept at reading the emotional nuances in people’s voices, but Jake was different. He always sounded casual, his voice soft and mesmerizing no matter the subject. Even when he was angry, he lowered his voice rather than raise it. “I don’t think about leaving you.” It was absurd—the way they were talking, they might have been in a relationship. “I didn’t know if the job was going to work out. Things would change if you married someone. You can’t pretend they wouldn’t.”
“You can put your mind at ease about my getting married. The women I know are treacherous bitches and I wouldn’t allow them anywhere near my money, my home or you. Certainly not my children. So I think I can safely say that marriage to any of them is out.”
“You just let them near your body.”
She pressed her lips together, hating the mixture of emotion in her voice that made him turn his head to look at her, his gaze suddenly speculative. She hadn’t realized until that moment that she was angry with him. She hadn’t even known that she was jealous. She didn’t want Jake as her lover or anything else. Any kind of relationship other than the platonic one they had would be a disaster. Jake wasn’t easy to live with as a boss. As a lover or a husband, he’d rule with an iron fist.
“We can’t all be perfect little saints, never enjoying the pleasures of the flesh.”
She curled her nails into her palm, hard enough to hurt. The tips of her fingers ached. “Get out of my room. I mean it. You’re being insulting and I’ve had a bad enough day without putting up with a lot of crap from you. Get out.”
He didn’t budge. “Why is that an insult? Basically you pointed out that I was a sinner. What’s wrong with me pointing out that you’re a saint?”
“You’re being deliberately insulting and you know it.” She flung her arm across her eyes. “I’m so tired, Jake. I wanted today to be a good day for you. I looked forward to you coming home and tried to make things special for your birthday. I don’t know what went wrong, but I just want to crawl under the blankets and try again tomorrow.” Her throat clogged with tears again and that made her want to weep just for being such an idiot. What was wrong with her lately?
Jake turned on his side, one hand sliding through her hair. “You did make my birthday special, Emma. I’ve never had a present or a cake before. I’m never going to forget what you did for me. And tomorrow morning I’ll open the presents with Kyle and Andraya. We can have cake for breakfast.”
She tried not to laugh. “No, you won’t. They can’t have cake for breakfast.”
“Why not?”
He sounded innocent enough, but she knew him better than that. The moment he’d had a son, he’d probably researched every fact he could find about nutrition and health care. More than likely he’d consulted every leading authority he could find. He had a mind for facts and details, and she doubted if he ever forgot anything he read.
“You know very well why not. We can’t take a chance on spoiling them too much, Jake. Andraya is already showing signs of being a little princess.”
“She is a princess.”
“In her own mind.”
Jake wrapped a length of her hair around his hand and brought the silken strands to his face. “In my mind as well. But if you say no cake for breakfast, no cake it is. You’re the boss.”
She nearly snorted. “Since when? No one ever bosses you, Jake.” He ran his home and the ranch in the same way he ran his business. He didn’t trust anyone enough to give them much room. Drake, Joshua and perhaps her, were the few he gave a little leeway to, but not much. He would be hell to live with. He would want complete control. Why that made her want to cry all over again, she didn’t know. But tears burned on the ends of her lashes, further humiliating her.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t. It isn’t you. I’m just falling apart. I wasn’t even like this when I was pregnant.”
His hand slipped over her shoulder and down her arm to nudge under the hem of her shirt and splay across her belly as if he could feel a child growing there. “I think you just need to have someone hold you while you fall asleep. Remember when you had your nightmares.” He bent his head to hers and brushed a kiss along her temple. “I held you and you went to sleep.”
That was true, but her body hadn’t been on fire. He’d been hard then too, just like he was now, and completely unashamed of it. But now was different because she was too aware of him, lying hard and thick, burning against her thigh like a brand.
“Do you want more children?”
Her gaze jumped to his face. “Why do you ask?”
“I’ve been thinking about it lately. Wondering how you felt about it. With Kyle and Andraya so close in age I thought you might feel they were more than enough.” He pulled his hand from her stomach, the pads of his fingers sliding across her ribs while his knuckles brushed the undersides of her breasts.
She couldn’t deny it. He’d often sprinted to her room to make certain she was all right and stayed to talk until she fell asleep again. “That’s true,” she admitted. “After that, I just wasn’t certain if I was going to stay or not. I thought I’d give it some time while I figured out what I was going to do after the money came in from the settlement.”
Beside her, Jake went very still. “You think about leaving me quite a bit, don’t you?”
Was there hurt in his voice? She was usually quite adept at reading the emotional nuances in people’s voices, but Jake was different. He always sounded casual, his voice soft and mesmerizing no matter the subject. Even when he was angry, he lowered his voice rather than raise it. “I don’t think about leaving you.” It was absurd—the way they were talking, they might have been in a relationship. “I didn’t know if the job was going to work out. Things would change if you married someone. You can’t pretend they wouldn’t.”
“You can put your mind at ease about my getting married. The women I know are treacherous bitches and I wouldn’t allow them anywhere near my money, my home or you. Certainly not my children. So I think I can safely say that marriage to any of them is out.”
“You just let them near your body.”
She pressed her lips together, hating the mixture of emotion in her voice that made him turn his head to look at her, his gaze suddenly speculative. She hadn’t realized until that moment that she was angry with him. She hadn’t even known that she was jealous. She didn’t want Jake as her lover or anything else. Any kind of relationship other than the platonic one they had would be a disaster. Jake wasn’t easy to live with as a boss. As a lover or a husband, he’d rule with an iron fist.
“We can’t all be perfect little saints, never enjoying the pleasures of the flesh.”
She curled her nails into her palm, hard enough to hurt. The tips of her fingers ached. “Get out of my room. I mean it. You’re being insulting and I’ve had a bad enough day without putting up with a lot of crap from you. Get out.”
He didn’t budge. “Why is that an insult? Basically you pointed out that I was a sinner. What’s wrong with me pointing out that you’re a saint?”
“You’re being deliberately insulting and you know it.” She flung her arm across her eyes. “I’m so tired, Jake. I wanted today to be a good day for you. I looked forward to you coming home and tried to make things special for your birthday. I don’t know what went wrong, but I just want to crawl under the blankets and try again tomorrow.” Her throat clogged with tears again and that made her want to weep just for being such an idiot. What was wrong with her lately?
Jake turned on his side, one hand sliding through her hair. “You did make my birthday special, Emma. I’ve never had a present or a cake before. I’m never going to forget what you did for me. And tomorrow morning I’ll open the presents with Kyle and Andraya. We can have cake for breakfast.”
She tried not to laugh. “No, you won’t. They can’t have cake for breakfast.”
“Why not?”
He sounded innocent enough, but she knew him better than that. The moment he’d had a son, he’d probably researched every fact he could find about nutrition and health care. More than likely he’d consulted every leading authority he could find. He had a mind for facts and details, and she doubted if he ever forgot anything he read.
“You know very well why not. We can’t take a chance on spoiling them too much, Jake. Andraya is already showing signs of being a little princess.”
“She is a princess.”
“In her own mind.”
Jake wrapped a length of her hair around his hand and brought the silken strands to his face. “In my mind as well. But if you say no cake for breakfast, no cake it is. You’re the boss.”
She nearly snorted. “Since when? No one ever bosses you, Jake.” He ran his home and the ranch in the same way he ran his business. He didn’t trust anyone enough to give them much room. Drake, Joshua and perhaps her, were the few he gave a little leeway to, but not much. He would be hell to live with. He would want complete control. Why that made her want to cry all over again, she didn’t know. But tears burned on the ends of her lashes, further humiliating her.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t. It isn’t you. I’m just falling apart. I wasn’t even like this when I was pregnant.”
His hand slipped over her shoulder and down her arm to nudge under the hem of her shirt and splay across her belly as if he could feel a child growing there. “I think you just need to have someone hold you while you fall asleep. Remember when you had your nightmares.” He bent his head to hers and brushed a kiss along her temple. “I held you and you went to sleep.”
That was true, but her body hadn’t been on fire. He’d been hard then too, just like he was now, and completely unashamed of it. But now was different because she was too aware of him, lying hard and thick, burning against her thigh like a brand.
“Do you want more children?”
Her gaze jumped to his face. “Why do you ask?”
“I’ve been thinking about it lately. Wondering how you felt about it. With Kyle and Andraya so close in age I thought you might feel they were more than enough.” He pulled his hand from her stomach, the pads of his fingers sliding across her ribs while his knuckles brushed the undersides of her breasts.
