Burning Wild
Page 78
Her heart pounded so hard it hurt. He was no longer discussing what had happened between them; he was talking about a future together. She could see it in the lines of his face, the intensity only Jake had, the iron will and determination that made him relentless. He was in pursuit and she was his prey.
“I’m not comfortable with the kind of sex we had.”
His hand slid over her hair, sweeping down the heavy, silken fall. “I know you’re not, honey, but I also know you enjoyed it. I’ll always make certain you’ll enjoy it.”
She couldn’t deny she’d enjoyed sex with him. Jake made her feel as if he had to have her, that he couldn’t wait another moment. He’d given her more pleasure than she’d ever experienced in her life.
“I don’t do one-night stands or flings. Do you have any idea what’s going to happen when we break up? We have children. This is my home. It’s your home.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. His eyes went diamond-hard. “I have no intention of allowing us to break up.”
“Women don’t keep you satisfied for very long, Jake, and then you move on to the next one. Rough, exciting sex only goes so far, but what happens when the newness wears off and I’m old hat to you? Then what do we do? I’m not the type of woman you’re used to. I don’t share.”
His hands tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. “Then we find ways to spice things up between us, although I can’t imagine we’d ever run into that problem. What the hell do other couples do? I don’t want another woman in my life. I don’t want you to have another man in yours.”
Emma sighed and looked down at her hands. She still held the hair clip. She hadn’t put her hair up. Why? She held the clip up. “Look at this. I did what you told me to do and I don’t even know why.” But she did, and it scared her. She wanted to please him. She wanted to be the one to take the pain from his eyes.
“What’s wrong with doing something that matters to me when it doesn’t matter so much to you?” He took the clip from her hand and tossed it onto the floor.
“The point is, I seem to lose myself in you and I can’t afford to do that. I’ll fall in love with you. I already am a little bit.” A lot.
His gaze sharpened, almost as if he could read her mind.
“And you’ll break my heart. You won’t want to, you won’t set out to do it, but you will.”
He pushed down the satisfaction that welled up inside him. Emma was being brutally honest, putting herself on the line for him. If anyone was really capable of love, it was Emma. “I would never break your heart. I told you, you’re safe with me.”
“Not intentionally, but womanizers don’t change, Jake,” she said quietly, with regret. “You need sex all the time. What happens when you’re in your downtown office and I’m on the ranch, or worse, when you’re on a business trip?”
His smile was faint, no amusement, only a show of white teeth. “If I’m in my downtown office and I need you that bad, I’ll send a limo for you. If I’m out of town and you can’t go, I think I have enough restraint to last a few days. I don’t indulge myself over every little thing I want. It’s called discipline, and I have more than most people. If I give you my word, Emma, you can take it to the bank and you know that.”
“What happens if I get pregnant and have to go on bed rest again and they tell us we can’t have sex? That could happen, you know.”
“Then I’ll keep that talented little mouth of yours very busy, won’t I?” he retaliated.
Her blush spread over her entire body. His gaze dropped to her mouth and his thumb slid over her bottom lip, to the corner, stroking caresses that sent little fingers of arousal tingling over her breasts and straight to her groin.
Emma drew in a ragged breath. “What are we talking about here, Jake? Where do you see this heading?”
“You. Me. Marriage. I want it all. We can negotiate whatever you want right here and now, and I’m not talking money. I know you don’t care one way or the other but there will be no prenuptial because I’ll warn you straight up—and hear me when I say this, because this is nonnegotiable. I do not believe in divorce. If you marry me, you’ll stay with me. When you don’t like something you’ll trust me enough to come to me and tell me so I can fix it.”
“Marriage?” The idea of being Jake’s wife was terrifying. He was too intense for anyone to handle on a daily basis, yet, of course, it was exactly what she’d dreamt of, the fantasy of it, never the reality. “I couldn’t keep up with you and you know it.”
“I know you’re afraid.”
“Your parents, the people in your circle, would never accept me . . .”
“Fuck them. They aren’t part of my life. You are. The kids are. Don’t let fear stop you from doing something you know is right. I’ll make it work, Emma. You know me. I’ll help you. Tell me what you want.”
“I don’t know.” She swept her hand through her hair in agitation. “I want you to care about me. I don’t want to be just anyone to you.”
Suddenly the Jeep was too confined. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think clearly. He was doing it again, keeping her off balance, overpowering her, not letting her work things out. She pulled off the seat belt and banged open the door, leaping out of the vehicle and walking out into the night. The cool air helped with the burning heat of her skin.
“I’m not comfortable with the kind of sex we had.”
His hand slid over her hair, sweeping down the heavy, silken fall. “I know you’re not, honey, but I also know you enjoyed it. I’ll always make certain you’ll enjoy it.”
She couldn’t deny she’d enjoyed sex with him. Jake made her feel as if he had to have her, that he couldn’t wait another moment. He’d given her more pleasure than she’d ever experienced in her life.
“I don’t do one-night stands or flings. Do you have any idea what’s going to happen when we break up? We have children. This is my home. It’s your home.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. His eyes went diamond-hard. “I have no intention of allowing us to break up.”
“Women don’t keep you satisfied for very long, Jake, and then you move on to the next one. Rough, exciting sex only goes so far, but what happens when the newness wears off and I’m old hat to you? Then what do we do? I’m not the type of woman you’re used to. I don’t share.”
His hands tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. “Then we find ways to spice things up between us, although I can’t imagine we’d ever run into that problem. What the hell do other couples do? I don’t want another woman in my life. I don’t want you to have another man in yours.”
Emma sighed and looked down at her hands. She still held the hair clip. She hadn’t put her hair up. Why? She held the clip up. “Look at this. I did what you told me to do and I don’t even know why.” But she did, and it scared her. She wanted to please him. She wanted to be the one to take the pain from his eyes.
“What’s wrong with doing something that matters to me when it doesn’t matter so much to you?” He took the clip from her hand and tossed it onto the floor.
“The point is, I seem to lose myself in you and I can’t afford to do that. I’ll fall in love with you. I already am a little bit.” A lot.
His gaze sharpened, almost as if he could read her mind.
“And you’ll break my heart. You won’t want to, you won’t set out to do it, but you will.”
He pushed down the satisfaction that welled up inside him. Emma was being brutally honest, putting herself on the line for him. If anyone was really capable of love, it was Emma. “I would never break your heart. I told you, you’re safe with me.”
“Not intentionally, but womanizers don’t change, Jake,” she said quietly, with regret. “You need sex all the time. What happens when you’re in your downtown office and I’m on the ranch, or worse, when you’re on a business trip?”
His smile was faint, no amusement, only a show of white teeth. “If I’m in my downtown office and I need you that bad, I’ll send a limo for you. If I’m out of town and you can’t go, I think I have enough restraint to last a few days. I don’t indulge myself over every little thing I want. It’s called discipline, and I have more than most people. If I give you my word, Emma, you can take it to the bank and you know that.”
“What happens if I get pregnant and have to go on bed rest again and they tell us we can’t have sex? That could happen, you know.”
“Then I’ll keep that talented little mouth of yours very busy, won’t I?” he retaliated.
Her blush spread over her entire body. His gaze dropped to her mouth and his thumb slid over her bottom lip, to the corner, stroking caresses that sent little fingers of arousal tingling over her breasts and straight to her groin.
Emma drew in a ragged breath. “What are we talking about here, Jake? Where do you see this heading?”
“You. Me. Marriage. I want it all. We can negotiate whatever you want right here and now, and I’m not talking money. I know you don’t care one way or the other but there will be no prenuptial because I’ll warn you straight up—and hear me when I say this, because this is nonnegotiable. I do not believe in divorce. If you marry me, you’ll stay with me. When you don’t like something you’ll trust me enough to come to me and tell me so I can fix it.”
“Marriage?” The idea of being Jake’s wife was terrifying. He was too intense for anyone to handle on a daily basis, yet, of course, it was exactly what she’d dreamt of, the fantasy of it, never the reality. “I couldn’t keep up with you and you know it.”
“I know you’re afraid.”
“Your parents, the people in your circle, would never accept me . . .”
“Fuck them. They aren’t part of my life. You are. The kids are. Don’t let fear stop you from doing something you know is right. I’ll make it work, Emma. You know me. I’ll help you. Tell me what you want.”
“I don’t know.” She swept her hand through her hair in agitation. “I want you to care about me. I don’t want to be just anyone to you.”
Suddenly the Jeep was too confined. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think clearly. He was doing it again, keeping her off balance, overpowering her, not letting her work things out. She pulled off the seat belt and banged open the door, leaping out of the vehicle and walking out into the night. The cool air helped with the burning heat of her skin.
