Can You Keep a Secret?
Page 71
'Kerry, is this true?' says Mum sharply. 'You wouldn't help Emma when she asked?'
'You never told us about this, Emma.' Dad looks completely taken aback.
'I was embarrassed, OK?' I say, my voice jumping a bit.
'Bit cheeky of Emma to ask,' says Nev, taking a huge bite of pork pie. 'Using family connections. That's what you said, wasn't it, Kerry?'
'Cheeky?' echoes Mum in disbelief. 'Kerry, if you remember, we lent you the money to start that company. You wouldn't have a company without this family.'
'It wasn't like that,' says Kerry, darting an annoyed look at Nev. 'There's been a … a crossed wire. Some confusion!' She pats her hair, and gives me another smile. 'Obviously I'd be delighted to help you with your career, Ems. You should have said before! Just call me at the office, I'll do anything I can …'
I gaze back at her, full of loathing. I cannot believe she is trying to wriggle out of this. She is the most two-faced cow in the entire world.
'There's no crossed wire, Kerry,' I say, as calmly as I can. 'We both know exactly what happened. I asked you for help and you wouldn't give it to me. And fine, it's your company and it was your decision and you had every right to make it. But don't try and say it didn't happen, because it did.'
'Emma!' says Kerry, with a little laugh, and tries to reach for my hand. 'Silly girl! I had no idea! If I'd known it was important …'
If she'd known it was important? How could she not know it was important?
I jerk my hand away and stare back at Kerry. I can feel all the old hurt and humiliation building up inside me, rising up like hot water inside a pipe, until suddenly the pressure is unbearable.
'Yes you did!' I hear myself crying. 'You knew exactly what you were doing! You knew how desperate I was! Ever since you've arrived in this family you've tried to squash me down. You tease me about my crap career. You boast about yourself. I spend my entire life feeling small and stupid. Well, fine. You win, Kerry! You're the star and I'm not. You're the success and I'm the failure. But just don't pretend to be my best friend, OK? Because you're not, and you never will be!'
I finish, and look around the gobsmacked picnic rug, breathing hard. I have a horrible feeling I might burst into tears, any moment.
I meet Jack's eye and he gives me a tiny, way-to-go smile. Then I risk a brief glance at Mum and Dad. They're both looking paralysed, as if they don't know what on earth to do.
The thing is, our family just doesn't do loud, emotional outbursts.
In fact, I'm not entirely sure what to do next myself.
'So, um … I'll be going, then,' I say, my voice shaking. 'I'll be off. Come on, Jack. We've got work to do.'
With wobbly legs, I turn on my heel and head off, stumbling slightly on the grass. Adrenalin is pumping round my body. I'm so wound up, I barely know what I'm doing.
'That was fantastic, Emma,' comes Jack's voice in my ear. 'You were great! Absolutely … logistical assessment,' he adds more loudly as we pass Cyril.
'I've never spoken like that in my life,' I say. 'I've never … operational management,' I quickly add, as we pass a couple of people from Accounts.
'I guessed as much,' he says, shaking his head. 'Jesus, that cousin of yours … valid assessment of the market.'
'She's a total — spreadsheet,' I say quickly as we pass Connor. 'So … I'll get that typed up for you, Mr Harper.'
Somehow we make it into the house and up the stairs. Jack leads me along a corridor, produces a key and opens a door. And we're in a room. A large, light, cream-coloured room. With a big double bed in it. The door closes, and suddenly all my nerves flood back. This is it. Finally this is it. Jack and me. Alone in a room. With a bed.
Then I catch sight of myself in a gilded mirror, and gasp in dismay. I'd forgotten I was in the stupid Snow White costume. My face is red and blotchy, my eyes are welling up, hair is all over the place, and my bra strap is showing.
This is so not how I thought I was looking.
'Emma, I'm really sorry I waded in there.' Jack's looking at me ruefully. 'I was way out of line. I had no right to butt in like that. I just … that cousin of yours got under my skin—'
'No!' I interrupt, turning to face him. 'It was good! I've never told Kerry what I thought of her before. Ever! It was … it was …' I tail off, breathing hard.
For a still moment there's silence. Jack's gazing at my flushed face. I'm staring back, my ribcage rising and falling, blood beating in my ears. Then suddenly he bends forward and kisses me.
His mouth is opening mine, and he's already tugging the elastic sleeves of my Snow White costume down off my shoulders, unhooking my bra. I'm fumbling for his shirt buttons. His mouth reaches my nipple and I'm starting to gasp with excitement when he pulls me down onto the sun-warmed carpet.
'You never told us about this, Emma.' Dad looks completely taken aback.
'I was embarrassed, OK?' I say, my voice jumping a bit.
'Bit cheeky of Emma to ask,' says Nev, taking a huge bite of pork pie. 'Using family connections. That's what you said, wasn't it, Kerry?'
'Cheeky?' echoes Mum in disbelief. 'Kerry, if you remember, we lent you the money to start that company. You wouldn't have a company without this family.'
'It wasn't like that,' says Kerry, darting an annoyed look at Nev. 'There's been a … a crossed wire. Some confusion!' She pats her hair, and gives me another smile. 'Obviously I'd be delighted to help you with your career, Ems. You should have said before! Just call me at the office, I'll do anything I can …'
I gaze back at her, full of loathing. I cannot believe she is trying to wriggle out of this. She is the most two-faced cow in the entire world.
'There's no crossed wire, Kerry,' I say, as calmly as I can. 'We both know exactly what happened. I asked you for help and you wouldn't give it to me. And fine, it's your company and it was your decision and you had every right to make it. But don't try and say it didn't happen, because it did.'
'Emma!' says Kerry, with a little laugh, and tries to reach for my hand. 'Silly girl! I had no idea! If I'd known it was important …'
If she'd known it was important? How could she not know it was important?
I jerk my hand away and stare back at Kerry. I can feel all the old hurt and humiliation building up inside me, rising up like hot water inside a pipe, until suddenly the pressure is unbearable.
'Yes you did!' I hear myself crying. 'You knew exactly what you were doing! You knew how desperate I was! Ever since you've arrived in this family you've tried to squash me down. You tease me about my crap career. You boast about yourself. I spend my entire life feeling small and stupid. Well, fine. You win, Kerry! You're the star and I'm not. You're the success and I'm the failure. But just don't pretend to be my best friend, OK? Because you're not, and you never will be!'
I finish, and look around the gobsmacked picnic rug, breathing hard. I have a horrible feeling I might burst into tears, any moment.
I meet Jack's eye and he gives me a tiny, way-to-go smile. Then I risk a brief glance at Mum and Dad. They're both looking paralysed, as if they don't know what on earth to do.
The thing is, our family just doesn't do loud, emotional outbursts.
In fact, I'm not entirely sure what to do next myself.
'So, um … I'll be going, then,' I say, my voice shaking. 'I'll be off. Come on, Jack. We've got work to do.'
With wobbly legs, I turn on my heel and head off, stumbling slightly on the grass. Adrenalin is pumping round my body. I'm so wound up, I barely know what I'm doing.
'That was fantastic, Emma,' comes Jack's voice in my ear. 'You were great! Absolutely … logistical assessment,' he adds more loudly as we pass Cyril.
'I've never spoken like that in my life,' I say. 'I've never … operational management,' I quickly add, as we pass a couple of people from Accounts.
'I guessed as much,' he says, shaking his head. 'Jesus, that cousin of yours … valid assessment of the market.'
'She's a total — spreadsheet,' I say quickly as we pass Connor. 'So … I'll get that typed up for you, Mr Harper.'
Somehow we make it into the house and up the stairs. Jack leads me along a corridor, produces a key and opens a door. And we're in a room. A large, light, cream-coloured room. With a big double bed in it. The door closes, and suddenly all my nerves flood back. This is it. Finally this is it. Jack and me. Alone in a room. With a bed.
Then I catch sight of myself in a gilded mirror, and gasp in dismay. I'd forgotten I was in the stupid Snow White costume. My face is red and blotchy, my eyes are welling up, hair is all over the place, and my bra strap is showing.
This is so not how I thought I was looking.
'Emma, I'm really sorry I waded in there.' Jack's looking at me ruefully. 'I was way out of line. I had no right to butt in like that. I just … that cousin of yours got under my skin—'
'No!' I interrupt, turning to face him. 'It was good! I've never told Kerry what I thought of her before. Ever! It was … it was …' I tail off, breathing hard.
For a still moment there's silence. Jack's gazing at my flushed face. I'm staring back, my ribcage rising and falling, blood beating in my ears. Then suddenly he bends forward and kisses me.
His mouth is opening mine, and he's already tugging the elastic sleeves of my Snow White costume down off my shoulders, unhooking my bra. I'm fumbling for his shirt buttons. His mouth reaches my nipple and I'm starting to gasp with excitement when he pulls me down onto the sun-warmed carpet.
