Carter Reed 2
Page 22
“But you’re still in, because of him, and where is he? You two hardly go a night without seeing each other, and Theresa told me he hasn’t been around since they got here five days ago. Where is he, Emma?”
I couldn’t answer that. All I could do was shake my head. “This wasn’t a problem before.”
“No,” she sighed, losing some of her fight. “That’s the thing. You’re not leaving him. No matter what, we all know that’s the bottom line. You’re tied to that life, and that means we’re tied to it, too.”
“Noah is friends with Carter, too—”
“But he would pull away. For Theresa, he would pull away. It’s one of the reasons she’s scared to move in with him, because of his connection to Carter.”
I stopped. Amanda’s response was so quick. She was so certain, and there was truth in that statement. I saw it on her face. She wasn’t looking away. They’ve talked about it. I sat back, blinking a few times. It made sense. Theresa had confided in me about Noah. Amanda confided about her new boyfriend. I shouldn’t have been surprised that they’d confided in each other about me.
“Theresa didn’t tell me that,” I murmured.
Amanda shrugged. “There are other reasons, I’m sure, but I know that’s one of them.”
“Noah said that?”
She nodded. “He said that to her one time, and she told me. He’s already pulled away from Carter. Haven’t you noticed?”
I hadn’t. Carter had been so busy with Cole and the Mauricio family. “Their friendship is none of our business. They still train together.”
“Not for a month. Noah stopped going in the mornings. He said Carter’s been gone, and since we’re all in New York, I thought he’d be here. Where is he, Emma?”
I laughed, and the sound was bitter. “What is this? A Carter intervention?”
“Maybe it should be,” she shot back, but then let out an exasperated sound and looked away. As she did, she wiped away a tear. Her fight was completely gone now, and instead, she just looked sad.
“Is that what you want? You want me to leave him?” I asked.
She didn’t look at me. She glanced down at her lap and shook her head. “No. I know that’s not fair. I know everything you said is right. Carter wasn’t in your life until you needed him, and it’s not fair. Now that you love him, you can’t leave him. I’m sorry. I just—I blame him sometimes.”
“Why?”
“Because…” Another tear fell. “Because if there was no Carter, I could be with Brian.”
New understanding dawned. This was about her and her boyfriend. None of this was about Theresa and Noah, but about Carter and me. And her and Brian. My hand fell from the table to my lap. It hit with a thud, and that’s how I was feeling—a bus had hit me.
“Are you thinking of leaving him?” I had considered pulling away from her, but never that she would leave him.
“I have to, don’t I?” Her eyes raised to mine. The pain in there was like a second swift punch. I hadn’t seen her like this since she’d found out Mallory was dead.
“Amanda,” I sighed.
She shook her head. “Stop. I’ve gone over this, over and over in my head, and that’s the only thing I can see as an out. I knew about your relationship with Carter before I fell in love with Brian. I knew it was wrong. I tried to stop it, but I let it happen anyway. This is on me. I should’ve banned him from the store, but, Emma…” Her voice dropped, and I could barely hear her. “I was so lonely and he was so…” She sucked in a breath of air and used both hands to wipe her face. “It’s the only way out. I have to leave him. I have to do it now before…” Another statement she couldn’t finish, but I didn’t blame her. She asked me, “You haven’t said anything to Carter?”
I shook my head. “No. I haven’t had the heart.”
“Good.” She sounded relieved. “Good. I haven’t said anything to Brian, and I’ll break it off. I’ll do it when I get home.”
“Now.” I said that word, but it wasn’t me speaking. It was a different Emma, someone I didn’t recognize. She was cold and firm while I was comforting and soothing, or that’s how I should’ve been. Amanda’s eyes widened, but I had to say it again. “You should do it now. Get it done. You’re here with us. Maybe you could take some time off next week. We could all stay here and help you.”
She stiffened at my words. “Theresa doesn’t know.”
“I know, and I’m here.” God, I was a heartless friend. I was wrong. I was the nasty bitch, not her, but this wasn’t the life we lived anymore. That was the truth about our situation. I couldn’t be the friend to her that I would’ve been before Mallory, before Franco Dunvan. “If you’re really going to do it, do it now.” I reached over the table and slid her phone so it was right in front of her.
She took her phone. Her eyes didn’t leave mine.
“It’ll be better this way,” I said. My heart was ripping, though. Chills went down my back from the sound of my own voice. I was so hard right now.
“Okay.” She held the phone to her chest and slid out from her end of the booth. As she passed by me, she paused and said, “I’m going to need you after this.”
I was going to hell. Grasping her arm, I squeezed it before letting my hand fall away. Pushing someone I considered family to end her relationship, that wasn’t right. She loved him, I could tell, and she’d never told Theresa. She’d be mourning in silence.
I was a shitty person.
Then my phone buzzed with a text from Carter: I love you. I’m coming back tonight. I’m sorry for leaving without seeing you first, but I’ll explain everything. It took a day longer, but it was necessary. How are you?
I replied, Fine. It’ll be good to see you. I love you. As I put my phone away, a tear fell onto the back of my hand. I hadn’t even known I was crying.
Two songs later, Theresa returned to the box. Smiling and sweating, she ran a hand through her hair, fluffing it up as she slid next to me. “Where’s Amanda?”
“She’s on the phone.”
“Oh.” A small frown and then a shrug. “I hope she stays on it for a while.”
I couldn’t answer that. All I could do was shake my head. “This wasn’t a problem before.”
“No,” she sighed, losing some of her fight. “That’s the thing. You’re not leaving him. No matter what, we all know that’s the bottom line. You’re tied to that life, and that means we’re tied to it, too.”
“Noah is friends with Carter, too—”
“But he would pull away. For Theresa, he would pull away. It’s one of the reasons she’s scared to move in with him, because of his connection to Carter.”
I stopped. Amanda’s response was so quick. She was so certain, and there was truth in that statement. I saw it on her face. She wasn’t looking away. They’ve talked about it. I sat back, blinking a few times. It made sense. Theresa had confided in me about Noah. Amanda confided about her new boyfriend. I shouldn’t have been surprised that they’d confided in each other about me.
“Theresa didn’t tell me that,” I murmured.
Amanda shrugged. “There are other reasons, I’m sure, but I know that’s one of them.”
“Noah said that?”
She nodded. “He said that to her one time, and she told me. He’s already pulled away from Carter. Haven’t you noticed?”
I hadn’t. Carter had been so busy with Cole and the Mauricio family. “Their friendship is none of our business. They still train together.”
“Not for a month. Noah stopped going in the mornings. He said Carter’s been gone, and since we’re all in New York, I thought he’d be here. Where is he, Emma?”
I laughed, and the sound was bitter. “What is this? A Carter intervention?”
“Maybe it should be,” she shot back, but then let out an exasperated sound and looked away. As she did, she wiped away a tear. Her fight was completely gone now, and instead, she just looked sad.
“Is that what you want? You want me to leave him?” I asked.
She didn’t look at me. She glanced down at her lap and shook her head. “No. I know that’s not fair. I know everything you said is right. Carter wasn’t in your life until you needed him, and it’s not fair. Now that you love him, you can’t leave him. I’m sorry. I just—I blame him sometimes.”
“Why?”
“Because…” Another tear fell. “Because if there was no Carter, I could be with Brian.”
New understanding dawned. This was about her and her boyfriend. None of this was about Theresa and Noah, but about Carter and me. And her and Brian. My hand fell from the table to my lap. It hit with a thud, and that’s how I was feeling—a bus had hit me.
“Are you thinking of leaving him?” I had considered pulling away from her, but never that she would leave him.
“I have to, don’t I?” Her eyes raised to mine. The pain in there was like a second swift punch. I hadn’t seen her like this since she’d found out Mallory was dead.
“Amanda,” I sighed.
She shook her head. “Stop. I’ve gone over this, over and over in my head, and that’s the only thing I can see as an out. I knew about your relationship with Carter before I fell in love with Brian. I knew it was wrong. I tried to stop it, but I let it happen anyway. This is on me. I should’ve banned him from the store, but, Emma…” Her voice dropped, and I could barely hear her. “I was so lonely and he was so…” She sucked in a breath of air and used both hands to wipe her face. “It’s the only way out. I have to leave him. I have to do it now before…” Another statement she couldn’t finish, but I didn’t blame her. She asked me, “You haven’t said anything to Carter?”
I shook my head. “No. I haven’t had the heart.”
“Good.” She sounded relieved. “Good. I haven’t said anything to Brian, and I’ll break it off. I’ll do it when I get home.”
“Now.” I said that word, but it wasn’t me speaking. It was a different Emma, someone I didn’t recognize. She was cold and firm while I was comforting and soothing, or that’s how I should’ve been. Amanda’s eyes widened, but I had to say it again. “You should do it now. Get it done. You’re here with us. Maybe you could take some time off next week. We could all stay here and help you.”
She stiffened at my words. “Theresa doesn’t know.”
“I know, and I’m here.” God, I was a heartless friend. I was wrong. I was the nasty bitch, not her, but this wasn’t the life we lived anymore. That was the truth about our situation. I couldn’t be the friend to her that I would’ve been before Mallory, before Franco Dunvan. “If you’re really going to do it, do it now.” I reached over the table and slid her phone so it was right in front of her.
She took her phone. Her eyes didn’t leave mine.
“It’ll be better this way,” I said. My heart was ripping, though. Chills went down my back from the sound of my own voice. I was so hard right now.
“Okay.” She held the phone to her chest and slid out from her end of the booth. As she passed by me, she paused and said, “I’m going to need you after this.”
I was going to hell. Grasping her arm, I squeezed it before letting my hand fall away. Pushing someone I considered family to end her relationship, that wasn’t right. She loved him, I could tell, and she’d never told Theresa. She’d be mourning in silence.
I was a shitty person.
Then my phone buzzed with a text from Carter: I love you. I’m coming back tonight. I’m sorry for leaving without seeing you first, but I’ll explain everything. It took a day longer, but it was necessary. How are you?
I replied, Fine. It’ll be good to see you. I love you. As I put my phone away, a tear fell onto the back of my hand. I hadn’t even known I was crying.
Two songs later, Theresa returned to the box. Smiling and sweating, she ran a hand through her hair, fluffing it up as she slid next to me. “Where’s Amanda?”
“She’s on the phone.”
“Oh.” A small frown and then a shrug. “I hope she stays on it for a while.”
