Cat's Lair
Page 110
Eli kept his mouth closed tightly, wanting her to tell him everything. The level of trust she had for him was growing or she never would have told him such a deeply private emotion she was clearly mortified of having.
“I feel guilty and ashamed that I couldn’t help him. He needed me, Eli. He really did. I don’t care what anyone says. He needed me and I let him down. All those people died because I couldn’t help him.”
Okay. That was enough. He caught her chin firmly in his hand and tipped her face up to his even as he bent his head. He captured her mouth, effectively silencing her. He kissed her over and over. Long, hot kisses, demanding her response. He didn’t let her breathe. Instead he breathed for both of them, exchanging air, exchanging breath. Making love to her with his mouth. Telling her what she meant to him in one of the few ways he was good at expressing his love to her.
When he lifted his head, both of their faces were wet and he put it down to the rain, although he suspected it was something altogether different.
“I love you, Catarina, because of the kind, generous soul and heart you have. Cordeau loves you in his own way, but you and I both know he’s beyond saving. A child couldn’t possibly have saved him anymore than an adult could now. He allowed his leopard to get the upper hand, probably when he was very young and things were happening around him he couldn’t control. Abuse isn’t an excuse for any of us. We can feel sad for the person, but there are many abused people who choose not to go down that path. You can’t sacrifice yourself, Kitten, it would be useless. He won’t change and he wouldn’t, maybe couldn’t, when you were a child.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he knew you are leopard. A shifter. A female. He had a treasure, a rare, precious treasure and if he was going to stop himself from that kind of behavior, he would have done it then. He knew, deep down, he couldn’t have both. You aren’t corrupt. You don’t have a hint of madness in you. You’re sweet and loving and generous. You’re too compassionate for your own good and that meant your leopard was the same way. He knew that. He saw that and he still didn’t stop. He never will, and his behavior, his choices, have nothing to do with you.”
Eli brushed her upturned mouth gently. “You don’t have to help us bring him down, Cat. That’s my job, not yours.”
She moved even closer to the heat of his body. “He feels invincible. Terrifying. I don’t want you anywhere near him.” She shuddered against him.
Eli caught the long sweep of hair in his hand, wrapped the thick mass around his wrist and pulled her head back, forcing her to look up at him. “You persist in thinking of him the way you did when you were a child. You bested him. Do you realize that? You outsmarted him. Do you have any idea how intelligent you have to be to do that? You lived in his house, right under his nose, and you educated yourself using his personal computer and he never suspected.”
She opened her mouth to refute his statement and he tugged on her scalp until she quieted.
“Do you have any idea what courage you have? Grown men didn’t leave his organization because they feared him. Witnesses refused to testify against him because they feared him. You escaped, more than once. You tried repeatedly. You risked everything when others refused to. What does that say about you, Catarina?”
She moistened her lips and then tugged her lower lip between her teeth. He had no choice but to sweep his tongue across that temptation.
“Kitten, when he comes for you, and tries to intimidate you, tries to make you feel less than him, look him in the eye and believe in yourself the way I believe in you. See yourself the way I see you. You’ll have nothing to fear. You’re prepared. And I promise you, I’ll be coming to help you. I’ll come.”
She knew he would come. He saw the knowledge in her eyes.
She nodded slowly. “I told you all this, Eli, because I know I have to help you and Jake. Thank you for saying I didn’t have to, but I know I do. I can’t allow him to keep killing people. The businesses he has are bad enough, and the men he associates with are equally horrible. The bottom line is, I have to help or I’m just as bad as he is. Tell Jake I’ll give him names, dates and as many deals as I can remember. I have bank account numbers as well.”
Eli felt a rush of pride for her. He knew how difficult the decision had to have been on her. His fingers gentled in her hair, moving through the silken strands to ease the ache in her scalp.
“Baby, what I asked of you, helping us, that doesn’t come from having been an agent. I don’t want you to think, even for a moment, that I would trade what we have for anything. Or use it against you. I love you. If you can’t do this, I understand.”
He watched her eyes change. They went from a beautiful soft blue to a deep cobalt, almost violet. He saw her so clearly. The cat in her. The love in her – for him. His heart jerked hard and his stomach twisted. He brought his mouth down on hers, all the while falling into her eyes. At the last moment, her lashes swept down, thick crescents that veiled her soul, but it was too late. He’d already seen. He already knew.
She’d given him a gift. She kept giving to him. Eli kissed her gently, and then fiercely. Ferociously. Like the prime male leopard he was. Dominant and aggressive, he took her mouth, pouring himself into her. He was possessive and he knew it. He could be jealous and he had a hell of a temper. But he had this for her. Love so intense, so passionate, every time he looked into her eyes the emotion overwhelmed him. And it continued to grow in him.
“I feel guilty and ashamed that I couldn’t help him. He needed me, Eli. He really did. I don’t care what anyone says. He needed me and I let him down. All those people died because I couldn’t help him.”
Okay. That was enough. He caught her chin firmly in his hand and tipped her face up to his even as he bent his head. He captured her mouth, effectively silencing her. He kissed her over and over. Long, hot kisses, demanding her response. He didn’t let her breathe. Instead he breathed for both of them, exchanging air, exchanging breath. Making love to her with his mouth. Telling her what she meant to him in one of the few ways he was good at expressing his love to her.
When he lifted his head, both of their faces were wet and he put it down to the rain, although he suspected it was something altogether different.
“I love you, Catarina, because of the kind, generous soul and heart you have. Cordeau loves you in his own way, but you and I both know he’s beyond saving. A child couldn’t possibly have saved him anymore than an adult could now. He allowed his leopard to get the upper hand, probably when he was very young and things were happening around him he couldn’t control. Abuse isn’t an excuse for any of us. We can feel sad for the person, but there are many abused people who choose not to go down that path. You can’t sacrifice yourself, Kitten, it would be useless. He won’t change and he wouldn’t, maybe couldn’t, when you were a child.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he knew you are leopard. A shifter. A female. He had a treasure, a rare, precious treasure and if he was going to stop himself from that kind of behavior, he would have done it then. He knew, deep down, he couldn’t have both. You aren’t corrupt. You don’t have a hint of madness in you. You’re sweet and loving and generous. You’re too compassionate for your own good and that meant your leopard was the same way. He knew that. He saw that and he still didn’t stop. He never will, and his behavior, his choices, have nothing to do with you.”
Eli brushed her upturned mouth gently. “You don’t have to help us bring him down, Cat. That’s my job, not yours.”
She moved even closer to the heat of his body. “He feels invincible. Terrifying. I don’t want you anywhere near him.” She shuddered against him.
Eli caught the long sweep of hair in his hand, wrapped the thick mass around his wrist and pulled her head back, forcing her to look up at him. “You persist in thinking of him the way you did when you were a child. You bested him. Do you realize that? You outsmarted him. Do you have any idea how intelligent you have to be to do that? You lived in his house, right under his nose, and you educated yourself using his personal computer and he never suspected.”
She opened her mouth to refute his statement and he tugged on her scalp until she quieted.
“Do you have any idea what courage you have? Grown men didn’t leave his organization because they feared him. Witnesses refused to testify against him because they feared him. You escaped, more than once. You tried repeatedly. You risked everything when others refused to. What does that say about you, Catarina?”
She moistened her lips and then tugged her lower lip between her teeth. He had no choice but to sweep his tongue across that temptation.
“Kitten, when he comes for you, and tries to intimidate you, tries to make you feel less than him, look him in the eye and believe in yourself the way I believe in you. See yourself the way I see you. You’ll have nothing to fear. You’re prepared. And I promise you, I’ll be coming to help you. I’ll come.”
She knew he would come. He saw the knowledge in her eyes.
She nodded slowly. “I told you all this, Eli, because I know I have to help you and Jake. Thank you for saying I didn’t have to, but I know I do. I can’t allow him to keep killing people. The businesses he has are bad enough, and the men he associates with are equally horrible. The bottom line is, I have to help or I’m just as bad as he is. Tell Jake I’ll give him names, dates and as many deals as I can remember. I have bank account numbers as well.”
Eli felt a rush of pride for her. He knew how difficult the decision had to have been on her. His fingers gentled in her hair, moving through the silken strands to ease the ache in her scalp.
“Baby, what I asked of you, helping us, that doesn’t come from having been an agent. I don’t want you to think, even for a moment, that I would trade what we have for anything. Or use it against you. I love you. If you can’t do this, I understand.”
He watched her eyes change. They went from a beautiful soft blue to a deep cobalt, almost violet. He saw her so clearly. The cat in her. The love in her – for him. His heart jerked hard and his stomach twisted. He brought his mouth down on hers, all the while falling into her eyes. At the last moment, her lashes swept down, thick crescents that veiled her soul, but it was too late. He’d already seen. He already knew.
She’d given him a gift. She kept giving to him. Eli kissed her gently, and then fiercely. Ferociously. Like the prime male leopard he was. Dominant and aggressive, he took her mouth, pouring himself into her. He was possessive and he knew it. He could be jealous and he had a hell of a temper. But he had this for her. Love so intense, so passionate, every time he looked into her eyes the emotion overwhelmed him. And it continued to grow in him.
