Cat's Lair
Page 61
Kitten. Wake up, now. It’s just a bad dream. Wake up.
She clung to the voice, anchoring her. Drawing her back from the edge of madness.
“Baby.” Eli’s soft voice penetrated, and this time she heard him.
She felt him then, his arms stealing around her, drawing her close to him. The terrible paralysis ended and she was able to fight. She used every trick she knew, everything both Malcom and Eli had taught her to free herself, but Eli knew them all as well. She fought silently, ferociously, dirty, using her teeth and fingernails. She knew she’d scored a couple of times when he swore.
Then she was flat on her back, Eli on top of her, pinning her down, both wrists in one of his hands, her arms stretched above her head.
“It was a nightmare, Kitten, that’s all. Just a nightmare. You’re safe here with me.” His face was dark, lines etched deep. He looked hard and invincible and even a little frightening.
She didn’t relax under him, not even when she realized he was right. “Let me up.” She whispered the demand, her heart pounding. She was such a fool. She wanted to believe him so she just ignored all the evidence.
“I don’t think so, babe. You need to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. I can see that nightmare had nothing to do with Cordeau and everything to do with me.” With his free hand, he brushed strands of hair from her face.
She tried not to let his touch get to her. It was that easy for him, one stroke on her skin with the pads of his fingers and she was lost. Her entire body shuddered. She didn’t want to feel anything for him. She wanted to curl into a little fetal ball and just cry until the room flooded with tears and she drowned.
“That’s fucked up,” he pointed out.
“I didn’t let Cordeau in,” she whispered. “Only you. I let you in.”
His hand moved gently over her face. “I know you did, Kitten. I know I hurt you. I can’t take that back. I can only tell you it won’t happen again.”
“How do I know that? How do I know that you’re not keeping me here so you can win my trust again and ask me to testify against Rafe?”
He leaned down and brushed a gentle kiss across her lips. “You don’t know that, but your leopard does. Your leopard knows a lie when she hears one. When she emerges, listen to her. She’ll let you know if I say something she doesn’t like.”
Eli studied her face. She looked so young, and very exhausted. He’d come back to his truck, half expecting it to be gone, but found her asleep on her seat, the keys clutched in her hand. His clothes had been folded neatly on the backseat. There had been something touching about the fact that she’d taken the time to retrieve his clothing and folded it before putting it into the warmth of the cab.
They’d had a quiet evening together and she’d taken another long, hot bath before bed. He thought she’d settled, but clearly her dream had renewed her doubts.
“Cat, I know you’re scared. I did that to you and I have to own it, but you’re going to have to get past it so we can work together. I need to teach you how to fight him, just in case I’m not with you when he shows up. My male needs to teach your female how to fight for the same reason. We have to be a team.”
He kissed her gently again, pushing back the long silky hair that had come out of the thick braid. He preferred it down, spilling all around them on the pillows. He always wanted white sheets now, just to see the contrast of her dark hair tumbling around them. Her body trembled again, a shiver he felt moving through him. Already they were connected in the way of the shifters. The bond wasn’t strong yet, but he was forging it, binding them together with tiny threads she’d never be able to break.
Her brilliant blue eyes searched his. He couldn’t see one hint of her cat. She had exotic eyes, like most of their kind. He’d slowly begun learning to identify shifters by their eyes. Hers were gorgeous and very distinct in coloring and shape. Her leopard might have receded, hopefully resting up for the big event, but her eyes would always give her away. He should have known the moment he’d seen her. He’d been drawn to her, even reading her file, but he still hadn’t gotten it. Drake would have scowled at him and shaken his head in irritation.
“I’m so afraid.” The admission came out softly. “I barely know who I am anymore. I feel lost and alone and I don’t have anyone I can trust.”
Every word she said was a major body blow. He hated that he’d done that to her. Her voice shook with pain. It was impossible not to feel it. The worst part of it was he could tell she wanted to let go of what had happened and give him the same trust all over again, but she didn’t know how.
“I know, sweetheart. I know you are, but I’m not going anywhere. Not ever. If you want a fucking ring right now, we’ll go get one and find someone to make it legal. I’d do anything to make you feel you have someone that’s going to stay and fight for you.” He nibbled on her chin. Her sweet chin that sometimes lifted defiantly and made him hard just watching the tiny little gesture. He loved her rebellious. He loved her sweet. He loved her when she gave him everything.
“You know, Kitten, you do trust me a little bit. When I make love to you, you surrender totally to me. Always. You always give yourself to me.”
She shook her head, frowning a little. “That’s you, or maybe her. That’s not me.”
He kissed her neck. Kissed the fluttery pulse right there on her throat. He couldn’t help himself, he had to feel it under his lips, the one little spot that confirmed she was alive, was his, lying there under him, looking up at him with her beautiful eyes.
She clung to the voice, anchoring her. Drawing her back from the edge of madness.
“Baby.” Eli’s soft voice penetrated, and this time she heard him.
She felt him then, his arms stealing around her, drawing her close to him. The terrible paralysis ended and she was able to fight. She used every trick she knew, everything both Malcom and Eli had taught her to free herself, but Eli knew them all as well. She fought silently, ferociously, dirty, using her teeth and fingernails. She knew she’d scored a couple of times when he swore.
Then she was flat on her back, Eli on top of her, pinning her down, both wrists in one of his hands, her arms stretched above her head.
“It was a nightmare, Kitten, that’s all. Just a nightmare. You’re safe here with me.” His face was dark, lines etched deep. He looked hard and invincible and even a little frightening.
She didn’t relax under him, not even when she realized he was right. “Let me up.” She whispered the demand, her heart pounding. She was such a fool. She wanted to believe him so she just ignored all the evidence.
“I don’t think so, babe. You need to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. I can see that nightmare had nothing to do with Cordeau and everything to do with me.” With his free hand, he brushed strands of hair from her face.
She tried not to let his touch get to her. It was that easy for him, one stroke on her skin with the pads of his fingers and she was lost. Her entire body shuddered. She didn’t want to feel anything for him. She wanted to curl into a little fetal ball and just cry until the room flooded with tears and she drowned.
“That’s fucked up,” he pointed out.
“I didn’t let Cordeau in,” she whispered. “Only you. I let you in.”
His hand moved gently over her face. “I know you did, Kitten. I know I hurt you. I can’t take that back. I can only tell you it won’t happen again.”
“How do I know that? How do I know that you’re not keeping me here so you can win my trust again and ask me to testify against Rafe?”
He leaned down and brushed a gentle kiss across her lips. “You don’t know that, but your leopard does. Your leopard knows a lie when she hears one. When she emerges, listen to her. She’ll let you know if I say something she doesn’t like.”
Eli studied her face. She looked so young, and very exhausted. He’d come back to his truck, half expecting it to be gone, but found her asleep on her seat, the keys clutched in her hand. His clothes had been folded neatly on the backseat. There had been something touching about the fact that she’d taken the time to retrieve his clothing and folded it before putting it into the warmth of the cab.
They’d had a quiet evening together and she’d taken another long, hot bath before bed. He thought she’d settled, but clearly her dream had renewed her doubts.
“Cat, I know you’re scared. I did that to you and I have to own it, but you’re going to have to get past it so we can work together. I need to teach you how to fight him, just in case I’m not with you when he shows up. My male needs to teach your female how to fight for the same reason. We have to be a team.”
He kissed her gently again, pushing back the long silky hair that had come out of the thick braid. He preferred it down, spilling all around them on the pillows. He always wanted white sheets now, just to see the contrast of her dark hair tumbling around them. Her body trembled again, a shiver he felt moving through him. Already they were connected in the way of the shifters. The bond wasn’t strong yet, but he was forging it, binding them together with tiny threads she’d never be able to break.
Her brilliant blue eyes searched his. He couldn’t see one hint of her cat. She had exotic eyes, like most of their kind. He’d slowly begun learning to identify shifters by their eyes. Hers were gorgeous and very distinct in coloring and shape. Her leopard might have receded, hopefully resting up for the big event, but her eyes would always give her away. He should have known the moment he’d seen her. He’d been drawn to her, even reading her file, but he still hadn’t gotten it. Drake would have scowled at him and shaken his head in irritation.
“I’m so afraid.” The admission came out softly. “I barely know who I am anymore. I feel lost and alone and I don’t have anyone I can trust.”
Every word she said was a major body blow. He hated that he’d done that to her. Her voice shook with pain. It was impossible not to feel it. The worst part of it was he could tell she wanted to let go of what had happened and give him the same trust all over again, but she didn’t know how.
“I know, sweetheart. I know you are, but I’m not going anywhere. Not ever. If you want a fucking ring right now, we’ll go get one and find someone to make it legal. I’d do anything to make you feel you have someone that’s going to stay and fight for you.” He nibbled on her chin. Her sweet chin that sometimes lifted defiantly and made him hard just watching the tiny little gesture. He loved her rebellious. He loved her sweet. He loved her when she gave him everything.
“You know, Kitten, you do trust me a little bit. When I make love to you, you surrender totally to me. Always. You always give yourself to me.”
She shook her head, frowning a little. “That’s you, or maybe her. That’s not me.”
He kissed her neck. Kissed the fluttery pulse right there on her throat. He couldn’t help himself, he had to feel it under his lips, the one little spot that confirmed she was alive, was his, lying there under him, looking up at him with her beautiful eyes.
