Chased
Page 48
“I’m lost, sugar.”
“No you’re not. And this is seriously pissing me off.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Liv? If you know I didn’t cheat on you, why are you pissed off?”
“Because I can’t trust you, that’s why. And you need to get the hell out of here right now if you’re going to play stupid.”
“You’re going to sit and eat and we’re going to talk right now.” Clenching his jaw, he stalked back to the table and began to uncover dishes.
“You need to cut that bossy shit out right now.” She sat and put a napkin on her lap.
“Shut up and eat.”
She narrowed one eye at him and he felt better at seeing her spark back, even if it was directed at him.
“I could just say I’m sorry to end this argument but I’d rather know what I’m sorry for.”
“You. Lied. To. Me.” She took a rather vicious bite of her fish and washed it down with a sip of red wine.
“When did I lie to you?”
The growl she emitted would have been cute if her eyes hadn’t looked so dangerously angry.
“On the night of the homecoming picnic. There was something wrong. I know there was and I know it wasn’t about your stress level like you said. I know it was about me. But I let it go and I shouldn’t have. I was a coward because I didn’t want to rock the boat and lose you. But the doubts were worse than losing you. You lied to me, Marc.”
He sat back, wiping his lips.
“I did. But it wasn’t important and it only would have upset you.”
“Please go. When I come back to Petal, just leave me alone. It’ll be easier if we make a clean break.”
“Whoa!” He put his hands up. “What the hell? I’m not leaving and I’m sure as hell not making a clean break. I told you it wasn’t important. It wasn’t.”
“We’ll make one if I say so.” Her jaw clenched and panic ate at his insides.
“What is it you want, Liv? Tell me and I’ll give it to you. I love you, damn it.”
“I want your honesty, Marc. We’re supposed to be partners and you’re hiding things. Lying to me and when you’re busted you have the audacity to sit there and tell me it was for my own good? It wasn’t important enough for you to tell me the truth? Is that what I’d have to look forward to as your girlfriend?
Honesty when you decide it’s important?”
Oh crap. He was in a corner and it was of his own making.
“The day before the picnic, I bumped into Nancy in town. She came on to me pretty strong. There was a moment, just a moment, when I panicked. Felt a bit smothered and had a bit of a, man I’m only going to be with one woman for the rest of my life, moment. But it passed in a few minutes and I realized I didn’t want to be with anyone else but you for the rest of my life.”
She jammed a piece of bread into her mouth, clearly angry. She watched him as she finished off her glass of wine and got herself another glass.
“And when you saw how upset I was that night you told me it was nothing. You didn’t think I’d be happy to hear you’d faced a moment of fear and realized you wanted to be with me?”
“I didn’t want to spook you! I’ve been walking on eggshells not wanting to scare you off. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to be with you.” He shot up and began to pace.
“You lied to me and it’s my fault?” She stood up but he pushed her back into her chair.
“Eat, damn you. You can be furious with me and eat some food.”
“You can’t tell me what to do, Marc Chase,” she grumbled but forked up another bite of fish and some rice.
“You talk too much,” he murmured more because he wanted to poke at her than because he thought so. “It is your fault partially. No, sit your pretty ass down. What I mean is that worrying about your reaction to things made me pull punches when I should have just shared. I see how that upset you and made you feel like I wasn’t being honest. I was about what really mattered but you’re right, honesty is important. But you haven’t been totally honest with me either.”
“About what?”
“Your doubts. Not the ones at the beginning but your feelings that there was something else and you kept quiet because you didn’t want to rock the boat. Is that what you think? That my love for you is so thin that a question would break us up? I’m here, begging you to take me back. Is that what happens with a man who’s so shallow he’d break up over a question?”
“And am I so fragile I can’t bear hearing the truth?”
“Touché, sugar. So where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know. Marc, I love you but at long last I’ve figured out a few things. I need love from a man who’s worthy of me. And I need him to trust me enough to share all of himself and be honest. Even if he thinks I may not handle what he has to say well. There’s got to be trust that the love is strong enough to bear the bumps.”
He sighed. “Okay. That’s fair. Here’s what I propose because you and I are at a stalemate. I can tell you I’m that man and that I’ll change and be totally honest from now on but it’s clear words alone won’t be enough. So let’s try this. Give me today and tomorrow. Walls totally down. Complete honesty from each of us. If, when we wake up Sunday morning you don’t believe I’m the right man, I’ll leave you alone and let you move on.”
“No you’re not. And this is seriously pissing me off.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Liv? If you know I didn’t cheat on you, why are you pissed off?”
“Because I can’t trust you, that’s why. And you need to get the hell out of here right now if you’re going to play stupid.”
“You’re going to sit and eat and we’re going to talk right now.” Clenching his jaw, he stalked back to the table and began to uncover dishes.
“You need to cut that bossy shit out right now.” She sat and put a napkin on her lap.
“Shut up and eat.”
She narrowed one eye at him and he felt better at seeing her spark back, even if it was directed at him.
“I could just say I’m sorry to end this argument but I’d rather know what I’m sorry for.”
“You. Lied. To. Me.” She took a rather vicious bite of her fish and washed it down with a sip of red wine.
“When did I lie to you?”
The growl she emitted would have been cute if her eyes hadn’t looked so dangerously angry.
“On the night of the homecoming picnic. There was something wrong. I know there was and I know it wasn’t about your stress level like you said. I know it was about me. But I let it go and I shouldn’t have. I was a coward because I didn’t want to rock the boat and lose you. But the doubts were worse than losing you. You lied to me, Marc.”
He sat back, wiping his lips.
“I did. But it wasn’t important and it only would have upset you.”
“Please go. When I come back to Petal, just leave me alone. It’ll be easier if we make a clean break.”
“Whoa!” He put his hands up. “What the hell? I’m not leaving and I’m sure as hell not making a clean break. I told you it wasn’t important. It wasn’t.”
“We’ll make one if I say so.” Her jaw clenched and panic ate at his insides.
“What is it you want, Liv? Tell me and I’ll give it to you. I love you, damn it.”
“I want your honesty, Marc. We’re supposed to be partners and you’re hiding things. Lying to me and when you’re busted you have the audacity to sit there and tell me it was for my own good? It wasn’t important enough for you to tell me the truth? Is that what I’d have to look forward to as your girlfriend?
Honesty when you decide it’s important?”
Oh crap. He was in a corner and it was of his own making.
“The day before the picnic, I bumped into Nancy in town. She came on to me pretty strong. There was a moment, just a moment, when I panicked. Felt a bit smothered and had a bit of a, man I’m only going to be with one woman for the rest of my life, moment. But it passed in a few minutes and I realized I didn’t want to be with anyone else but you for the rest of my life.”
She jammed a piece of bread into her mouth, clearly angry. She watched him as she finished off her glass of wine and got herself another glass.
“And when you saw how upset I was that night you told me it was nothing. You didn’t think I’d be happy to hear you’d faced a moment of fear and realized you wanted to be with me?”
“I didn’t want to spook you! I’ve been walking on eggshells not wanting to scare you off. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to be with you.” He shot up and began to pace.
“You lied to me and it’s my fault?” She stood up but he pushed her back into her chair.
“Eat, damn you. You can be furious with me and eat some food.”
“You can’t tell me what to do, Marc Chase,” she grumbled but forked up another bite of fish and some rice.
“You talk too much,” he murmured more because he wanted to poke at her than because he thought so. “It is your fault partially. No, sit your pretty ass down. What I mean is that worrying about your reaction to things made me pull punches when I should have just shared. I see how that upset you and made you feel like I wasn’t being honest. I was about what really mattered but you’re right, honesty is important. But you haven’t been totally honest with me either.”
“About what?”
“Your doubts. Not the ones at the beginning but your feelings that there was something else and you kept quiet because you didn’t want to rock the boat. Is that what you think? That my love for you is so thin that a question would break us up? I’m here, begging you to take me back. Is that what happens with a man who’s so shallow he’d break up over a question?”
“And am I so fragile I can’t bear hearing the truth?”
“Touché, sugar. So where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know. Marc, I love you but at long last I’ve figured out a few things. I need love from a man who’s worthy of me. And I need him to trust me enough to share all of himself and be honest. Even if he thinks I may not handle what he has to say well. There’s got to be trust that the love is strong enough to bear the bumps.”
He sighed. “Okay. That’s fair. Here’s what I propose because you and I are at a stalemate. I can tell you I’m that man and that I’ll change and be totally honest from now on but it’s clear words alone won’t be enough. So let’s try this. Give me today and tomorrow. Walls totally down. Complete honesty from each of us. If, when we wake up Sunday morning you don’t believe I’m the right man, I’ll leave you alone and let you move on.”
