Chasing Impossible
Page 10
My phone rings and I accept it when I spot Logan’s face. “What?”
“You never listen.”
“I like walking. Fills my lungs with oxygen. It’s good for the circulatory system. Healthy and all that shit.”
“I told you to stay put.” I can imagine that serious expression on his face. The one where his dark eyes blow into storm clouds and everything about him becomes clipped. It’s not a huge change, it’s subtle, but I’ve memorized it.
“Miss me?” I tease because that’s more comfortable than focusing on terror. “Because I missed you, and I wanted to see you faster.”
“What happened to your plan?”
“It changed.”
“You in danger?”
Yes. “You’re cute. I forgot I’m not capable of walking down a street by myself. Just a friendly stroll and you’ll pick me up along the way.”
“You sound scared.”
As I’m scanning the crowd a flash of anger joins the fear he’s hearing. “Bite me, Logan.”
“I don’t like you on the open street.”
“Well, life fucking sucks.” I pause and switch mental directions. “You don’t want bullshit—how’s this? I’m in deep and I don’t even know what I’m dealing with.”
Logan’s silent, and I pray he’s struggling with how to tell me he’s leaving and heading home, but another part of me begs him to stay. Without a ride, I’m an easy target. My need to live and my need to protect him are colliding in my brain.
“Move!” A loud horn blaring from his end and I check out the road. It’s bumper-to-bumper. People coming into the area to party, people leaving the area to party. He won’t get here. He won’t reach me fast enough.
“I’ll come on foot,” he says.
“Don’t,” and I make no attempt to mask the fear. “You need to get as far from me as you can.”
“Do you know what I want?”
I’m betting not being in a messed-up, chemistry—based relationship with a drug dealer is currently at the top of his list. “What?”
“Quiet.”
My feet freeze on the sidewalk and a strange eerie sensation crawls along my spine. There’s an exhaustion in Logan’s voice I’ve never heard before and my mind ticks back to Rachel’s original text. Something’s wrong. Beyond me. Beyond my problems. “If you want quiet, you should go home.”
“It’s loud there, Abby. There might not be sound, but it’s still loud. All I want right now is to find you, and drive along some dark county roads. What do you say to that? Me, you, a dark night, and some quiet stars.”
An ache ripples through me. It sounds like the devil is mocking me with my idea of heaven because dreams don’t become reality for girls like me.
“Abby?” he asks. “Still there.”
Hang up. Mock him. Laugh. Make a joke. Tease. Lie.
Lie.
Lie, Abby. That’s what you’re best at. Lie.
“That sounds good.” It’s a whisper and by the relieved intake of air on his part, Logan heard it.
“You didn’t listen, did you?” he asks, and I’m grateful for his normal, condescending tone. “You were told to stay home and you didn’t listen.”
“Do you think I do what people tell me on a regular basis? That’s one step away from being a trained monkey and if you remember, I don’t like trained monkeys. Not since that one bit you in fifth grade. You said the rabies shots were a bitch.”
Logan snorts and an engine rumbles in the background. “Which side of the road are you on? I don’t want to miss you.”
A group of guys stumble out of a bar ahead of me and the hair on my arms stands on end as if the reaper had laughed in my ear. A skinny guy. A few years older than me and he appears way too happy to see me. It’s Ricky’s greatest foe on the streets. A guy I’ve threatened in the past. It’s Eric and all of Ricky’s warnings avalanche upon my shoulders. “How far away are you, Logan?”
“I’m two blocks from the club.”
Eric turns his head, his mouth moves and from behind him, two of his boys join his side. Neither of them has a problem hitting a girl. Neither has a problem with raping one, either.
“Do you think you could speed? Break some traffic laws? Maybe tell me your truck is secretly a hovercraft? That would be greatly appreciated.”
Eric’s boys stride in my direction and I cross the street without looking. A car blows its horn, a screech of tires, but I’m sprinting, not paying attention to the moving bullets on wheels.
“Abby!” Logan growls. “What’s going on?”
A hurried glance over my shoulder and Eric’s boys follow. My mind races and wars between thoughts. Find Logan, don’t lead Logan into trouble, duck into a club, but I don’t have my fake ID. He’s two blocks away and my mouth dries out. Logan’s so close yet too far.
A shadow steps in front of me, a person in a hoodie. Adrenaline in the form of fear, my hand reaches back, switchblade in my fingers, but he’s faster than me. He grabs hold of my arm, I go to bite his wrist and then—
“Do that and I’ll fucking shoot you. I’m the reason you’re still alive. It’s me who sent the code.”
I convulse with the familiar voice. Linus releases me with a shove then yanks back his hoodie. The joy of seeing my father’s protégé nearly brings me to my knees.
Linus steals my phone, powers it off, then snatches my arm and drags me into an alley. “Ricky told you to stay off the streets tonight.”
“He told me not to sell.” I trip over a can as he continues to pull me deeper into the darkness. A right and a left. A maze of passages. I’ve been here before, during the day, and I’m completely lost without the light.
“Same fucking thing and now you’ve got Eric hunting you, plus you met with a narc tonight. And we thought you were smart.”
“You knew he was a narc and nobody warned me one was on the streets?”
Linus doesn’t say anything and I can’t stop the smugness trying to rip past the fear.
“You didn’t know until I figured him out.”
“I’d suggest shutting the fuck up.”
Shutting the fuck up doesn’t make me less right. “What the hell are you doing sending me that code? Even Ricky doesn’t know about it. That code means I can’t trust anyone.”
“Except the one who sent it, right?” Linus halts his progress forward and rounds on me. He’s pure rage wearing human skin, but of all the things I fear, it’s not him. If he was going to kill me, he would have already plugged two shots into my brain.
He’s ruthless like that. My father was his mentor and my father taught him well. Where I’ve memorized my father’s rules, Linus plays by them as if they’re the Ten Commandments handwritten on stone by God.
“Some of Ricky’s guys were in the bar,” I say, “and you 911’d me out. You don’t think I would have been safer there?”
Linus remains blizzard cold and my insides sink. “What’s going on?”
“I know you pegged the narc and I know you haven’t sold. I know you came here because you thought this was neutral territory and it was safe. I know because I’ve been watching you fuck around all night.”
I quit breathing. “Why?”
Linus leans into me. “Because Ricky knows you don’t listen and we’ve got shit going down. Empires are going to war, and in the morning, we’ll see who’s still standing, and Ricky wants you on the rise up.”
I scan Linus’s face, desperate to read him, but he’s closed off. Always closed off—just like my father was. “Eric didn’t start this war, did he?”
“Eric’s weak and he’s ripe for the taking, but he will try to make us bleed on the way down, taking out as many of our key players as possible.”
My stomach cramps. “I’m not a key player.”
“You’re Mozart’s daughter. You could be a crap game piece and you’d still be worth the kill just to piss us off, but besides that—you’re good at this. Shit—you pegged a narc my top guys haven’t sniffed out yet. Except for tonight, you’re smart and what the fuck were you doing tonight?”
I refuse to shrink from Linus. As much as he tries to act like it, he’s not my father. “I was hanging with friends.”
Linus appears to grow in size. Let him. He could become the boogeyman and I’d still flip him off. Spit flies out of his mouth as he announces, “We. Don’t. Have. Friends.”
But I do. My phone buzzes continuously in Linus’s hand. It’s Logan and he’s scared for me. My heart beats hard as I realize how scared I am for him. I’m in the middle of a war and he could be caught in the cross fire. That fear—it’s why I shouldn’t have friends.
Rule number two: attachments create weakness and your enemies and allies will use your weakness against you.
A clank of a glass bottle and the sound of it rolling echoes off the walls of the alley. Linus extracts a gun from the back of his jeans and he nods his chin for me to do the same. I extract my switchblade, flick it until we see the fun shiny part and Linus grimaces. “Fucking grow up already and get a real weapon.”
“You never listen.”
“I like walking. Fills my lungs with oxygen. It’s good for the circulatory system. Healthy and all that shit.”
“I told you to stay put.” I can imagine that serious expression on his face. The one where his dark eyes blow into storm clouds and everything about him becomes clipped. It’s not a huge change, it’s subtle, but I’ve memorized it.
“Miss me?” I tease because that’s more comfortable than focusing on terror. “Because I missed you, and I wanted to see you faster.”
“What happened to your plan?”
“It changed.”
“You in danger?”
Yes. “You’re cute. I forgot I’m not capable of walking down a street by myself. Just a friendly stroll and you’ll pick me up along the way.”
“You sound scared.”
As I’m scanning the crowd a flash of anger joins the fear he’s hearing. “Bite me, Logan.”
“I don’t like you on the open street.”
“Well, life fucking sucks.” I pause and switch mental directions. “You don’t want bullshit—how’s this? I’m in deep and I don’t even know what I’m dealing with.”
Logan’s silent, and I pray he’s struggling with how to tell me he’s leaving and heading home, but another part of me begs him to stay. Without a ride, I’m an easy target. My need to live and my need to protect him are colliding in my brain.
“Move!” A loud horn blaring from his end and I check out the road. It’s bumper-to-bumper. People coming into the area to party, people leaving the area to party. He won’t get here. He won’t reach me fast enough.
“I’ll come on foot,” he says.
“Don’t,” and I make no attempt to mask the fear. “You need to get as far from me as you can.”
“Do you know what I want?”
I’m betting not being in a messed-up, chemistry—based relationship with a drug dealer is currently at the top of his list. “What?”
“Quiet.”
My feet freeze on the sidewalk and a strange eerie sensation crawls along my spine. There’s an exhaustion in Logan’s voice I’ve never heard before and my mind ticks back to Rachel’s original text. Something’s wrong. Beyond me. Beyond my problems. “If you want quiet, you should go home.”
“It’s loud there, Abby. There might not be sound, but it’s still loud. All I want right now is to find you, and drive along some dark county roads. What do you say to that? Me, you, a dark night, and some quiet stars.”
An ache ripples through me. It sounds like the devil is mocking me with my idea of heaven because dreams don’t become reality for girls like me.
“Abby?” he asks. “Still there.”
Hang up. Mock him. Laugh. Make a joke. Tease. Lie.
Lie.
Lie, Abby. That’s what you’re best at. Lie.
“That sounds good.” It’s a whisper and by the relieved intake of air on his part, Logan heard it.
“You didn’t listen, did you?” he asks, and I’m grateful for his normal, condescending tone. “You were told to stay home and you didn’t listen.”
“Do you think I do what people tell me on a regular basis? That’s one step away from being a trained monkey and if you remember, I don’t like trained monkeys. Not since that one bit you in fifth grade. You said the rabies shots were a bitch.”
Logan snorts and an engine rumbles in the background. “Which side of the road are you on? I don’t want to miss you.”
A group of guys stumble out of a bar ahead of me and the hair on my arms stands on end as if the reaper had laughed in my ear. A skinny guy. A few years older than me and he appears way too happy to see me. It’s Ricky’s greatest foe on the streets. A guy I’ve threatened in the past. It’s Eric and all of Ricky’s warnings avalanche upon my shoulders. “How far away are you, Logan?”
“I’m two blocks from the club.”
Eric turns his head, his mouth moves and from behind him, two of his boys join his side. Neither of them has a problem hitting a girl. Neither has a problem with raping one, either.
“Do you think you could speed? Break some traffic laws? Maybe tell me your truck is secretly a hovercraft? That would be greatly appreciated.”
Eric’s boys stride in my direction and I cross the street without looking. A car blows its horn, a screech of tires, but I’m sprinting, not paying attention to the moving bullets on wheels.
“Abby!” Logan growls. “What’s going on?”
A hurried glance over my shoulder and Eric’s boys follow. My mind races and wars between thoughts. Find Logan, don’t lead Logan into trouble, duck into a club, but I don’t have my fake ID. He’s two blocks away and my mouth dries out. Logan’s so close yet too far.
A shadow steps in front of me, a person in a hoodie. Adrenaline in the form of fear, my hand reaches back, switchblade in my fingers, but he’s faster than me. He grabs hold of my arm, I go to bite his wrist and then—
“Do that and I’ll fucking shoot you. I’m the reason you’re still alive. It’s me who sent the code.”
I convulse with the familiar voice. Linus releases me with a shove then yanks back his hoodie. The joy of seeing my father’s protégé nearly brings me to my knees.
Linus steals my phone, powers it off, then snatches my arm and drags me into an alley. “Ricky told you to stay off the streets tonight.”
“He told me not to sell.” I trip over a can as he continues to pull me deeper into the darkness. A right and a left. A maze of passages. I’ve been here before, during the day, and I’m completely lost without the light.
“Same fucking thing and now you’ve got Eric hunting you, plus you met with a narc tonight. And we thought you were smart.”
“You knew he was a narc and nobody warned me one was on the streets?”
Linus doesn’t say anything and I can’t stop the smugness trying to rip past the fear.
“You didn’t know until I figured him out.”
“I’d suggest shutting the fuck up.”
Shutting the fuck up doesn’t make me less right. “What the hell are you doing sending me that code? Even Ricky doesn’t know about it. That code means I can’t trust anyone.”
“Except the one who sent it, right?” Linus halts his progress forward and rounds on me. He’s pure rage wearing human skin, but of all the things I fear, it’s not him. If he was going to kill me, he would have already plugged two shots into my brain.
He’s ruthless like that. My father was his mentor and my father taught him well. Where I’ve memorized my father’s rules, Linus plays by them as if they’re the Ten Commandments handwritten on stone by God.
“Some of Ricky’s guys were in the bar,” I say, “and you 911’d me out. You don’t think I would have been safer there?”
Linus remains blizzard cold and my insides sink. “What’s going on?”
“I know you pegged the narc and I know you haven’t sold. I know you came here because you thought this was neutral territory and it was safe. I know because I’ve been watching you fuck around all night.”
I quit breathing. “Why?”
Linus leans into me. “Because Ricky knows you don’t listen and we’ve got shit going down. Empires are going to war, and in the morning, we’ll see who’s still standing, and Ricky wants you on the rise up.”
I scan Linus’s face, desperate to read him, but he’s closed off. Always closed off—just like my father was. “Eric didn’t start this war, did he?”
“Eric’s weak and he’s ripe for the taking, but he will try to make us bleed on the way down, taking out as many of our key players as possible.”
My stomach cramps. “I’m not a key player.”
“You’re Mozart’s daughter. You could be a crap game piece and you’d still be worth the kill just to piss us off, but besides that—you’re good at this. Shit—you pegged a narc my top guys haven’t sniffed out yet. Except for tonight, you’re smart and what the fuck were you doing tonight?”
I refuse to shrink from Linus. As much as he tries to act like it, he’s not my father. “I was hanging with friends.”
Linus appears to grow in size. Let him. He could become the boogeyman and I’d still flip him off. Spit flies out of his mouth as he announces, “We. Don’t. Have. Friends.”
But I do. My phone buzzes continuously in Linus’s hand. It’s Logan and he’s scared for me. My heart beats hard as I realize how scared I am for him. I’m in the middle of a war and he could be caught in the cross fire. That fear—it’s why I shouldn’t have friends.
Rule number two: attachments create weakness and your enemies and allies will use your weakness against you.
A clank of a glass bottle and the sound of it rolling echoes off the walls of the alley. Linus extracts a gun from the back of his jeans and he nods his chin for me to do the same. I extract my switchblade, flick it until we see the fun shiny part and Linus grimaces. “Fucking grow up already and get a real weapon.”
