Chasing Perfect
Page 17
His searching fingers found her very center. He pushed her bikini panties aside and moved his fingers over that part of her—the bundle of nerves already quivering in anticipation. She was so ready, so swollen, that it only took a few quick strokes to steal her breath and make her cling to him. Then he shifted, pressing his fingers inside her and using his thumb to rub her to near ecstasy.
She couldn’t catch her breath, she thought, torn between the way his mouth moved on her br**sts and the way his fingers moved between her legs. Couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but feel the waves of pleasure building inside of her.
She had to hang on to him to stay upright, to concentrate on her balance. He straightened and kissed her mouth, claiming her with a passion that pushed her closer to the edge.
Then she felt it. The telltale hum that began deep inside her, the warning clenching that her orgasm was nearly there, practically a sure thing. And just as she braced herself for the release she knew was going to be incredible, Josh stopped.
She stared at him, unable to believe what was happening. His hands reached between them and she realized he was unfastening his jeans. Before she could join in and help, he’d freed his thick erection. She quickly pushed her panties to the ground and stepped out of them. He grabbed her around the h*ps and boosted her up, so she was pressed against the wall, her body settling onto his arousal.
This was impossible, she thought frantically. She’d never done anything like this. She couldn’t touch the ground, she was completely dependent on him supporting her. There was no way she could relax enough to—
He moved inside of her. He pushed in hard, thrusting up and back, filling her. His body rubbed against her, teasing her swollen parts even as he pleasured her from the inside. She wrapped her legs around his hips, her arms around his neck and hung on for the ride.
It didn’t take long. She’d been so close that in a dozen or so thrusts, she wasn’t thinking anymore. She was feeling how he stretched her, savoring every aroused nerve ending quiver, giving herself over to the promise that any second now she would explode.
She came with a cry, her body shuddering, drawing him in deeper. She lost herself in the pleasure. He pushed in faster and deeper, taking everything she offered, drawing out her release until she was too weak to do much more than lean into him. Then he was shuddering, as well, going still, his hot breath fanning her cheek.
They stayed like that far longer than she would have thought possible. When she was sure he had to be ready to collapse from holding her, he slowly slipped back, gently lowering her legs to the floor. When she’d regained her footing, Charity did her best to straighten only to find she was still a little wobbly. Josh grabbed her around the waist.
“You okay?” he asked.
Okay? How could she be okay? She’d just had incredible up-against-the-wall sex with a man she barely knew. Something she never did. She’d run a background check on the last guy she’d slept with, and that had been after three months of serious dating. What did she really know about Josh except he was probably going to break her heart?
“The question wasn’t supposed to be that hard.”
“Sorry,” she glanced into his eyes, then away. “I was thinking.”
“Dangerous, especially now.”
She tried standing on her own again and managed to stay upright. The shoes weren’t helping, so she stepped out of them, which lowered her about three inches. Her right sandal landed on top of her panties.
Physical balance wasn’t her only issue, she thought. Her head was spinning. What the hell had just happened? Not that she needed that question answered. Maybe the better issue was why. Why hadn’t she stopped to think?
He gently touched her cheek. “Are you okay?” he asked again.
She nodded, figuring he wouldn’t want to know the truth. Second thoughts didn’t begin to cover her emotional freefall. Thirty-eighth thoughts were more like it. She’d had sex with Josh. Willingly. Wildly. In those moments, in his arms, she’d been someone else.
Or the person she was always meant to be, a little voice in her head whispered.
No way, she told herself. No. That wasn’t it.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Her shirt was still tucked into her skirt, but was hanging back down over her butt. Her bra was somewhere on the floor. It only took him a few seconds to look decent again, but she had a tougher road. Rather than risk struggling, she pulled up her shirt and reknotted it, figuring she would deal with the bra and panties later. When she was leaving.
Unless she was supposed to leave now.
She’d never been one for casual sex and honestly, she didn’t know the rules.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said, his hazel-green eyes staring deeply into her own.
“I doubt that.” He would have to be beyond psychic to make it through the maze that was her mind.
“I don’t do this every day,” he told her. “The rumors, the things people say, they’re not true.”
“They’re mostly true,” she said. “The first week I was here, I saw that woman waiting in your room. I haven’t seen her around town, so I figure you imported her.”
“No. I didn’t ask her to be there. Hell, I didn’t know her. She got someone in housekeeping to let her in.”
Information she was sure he thought she would find comforting. “Now you’re going to tell me you told her to get dressed and sent her on her way.”
“I did.” When she would have looked away, he touched her chin. “I mean it, Charity.”
The funny thing was, she wanted to believe him. Talk about confusing.
He took her hand and drew her into the room. A single lamp in the corner provided a little light. He flipped on a couple more.
“Can I get you something?” he asked. “Wine? Coffee? Dessert?”
She hesitated. Wine sounded good, but she couldn’t face the thought of one of the room-service people seeing her in Josh’s room, then telling the entire town about it.
He motioned to his left. “I have a private stash.”
She followed the movement.
What he had was a mini-fridge and a small under-the-counter wine refrigerator.
“Something red?”
He grinned. “My favorite color.”
While he picked a wine, she collected her bra and panties, then ducked into the half bath in the corner. By the time she was done straightening and had returned to the living room of his suite, he’d poured them each a glass and turned on the gas fireplace.
“Now you’re going for the romance thing?” she asked. “Isn’t it a little late?”
“You mean because I already got the girl?” He led her to the sofa and settled next to her.
“You got the girl in a bright and shiny new way. You have a lot of upper body strength.”
“I should accept the compliment with a knowing smile,” he said as he put his arm around her. “Instead I’ll tell the truth, which is that it’s all about leverage.”
She winced. “Not sure I wanted to know that.”
“Why?”
She stared at the fire, trying not to enjoy the moment too much. “Not the mechanics. The fact that you have so much experience that you can talk about them. It’s scary.”
He angled toward her, which meant his warm arm wasn’t around her, but he left his hand on her shoulder. “I won’t lie to you. I had a great time when I was in my early twenties. I was a well-known athlete and women were everywhere. I took advantage of that.” He gave her a slow, sexy smile. “It was fun.”
And he was telling her this why? Because it wasn’t making her feel any better.
“I’m not that guy anymore,” he said. “I grew up a long time ago. But people don’t want to believe that. They like the legend and stories that go with that. If I’m still the guy on the poster, then they get glory by association.”
She could almost understand that. “The opposite of the old saying that you can’t be a hero in your hometown?”
“Yeah. I can’t stop being a hero.” He grimaced. “That sounds arrogant. I’m not trying to be a jerk. I’m just saying that’s how it’s been with me for years. This town took care of me. They looked out for me and they feel they’ve earned a piece of me. They like thinking I have a different woman in my room every night because it feeds the story and they like how that story plays.”
She thought about him riding his bike, coming back sweaty and everyone assuming it was because he was out getting lucky.
“It’s not like you want to correct the assumption,” she pointed out. “You don’t tell them differently.”
“I don’t want them to know the truth.”
That he couldn’t ride, she thought. He didn’t want to spoil the fantasy.
“I got divorced about two years ago,” he told her. “I dated a little after that, but nothing came of it. I moved back here, and since then…” Now it was his turn to glance away. “Let’s just say it’s been a hell of a dry spell.”
“Thank you. That makes me feel better. I’ve never been good at being one in a crowd.”
“Me, either.”
“What? There’s no crowd.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, please. Do not even pretend I’m sleeping with Robert,” she told him. “We’ve had all of three dates. Besides, he’s not my type.”
“That’s not what you were saying earlier.”
“You annoyed me,” she told him. “On purpose. What was I supposed to say?”
“You annoyed me, too.”
“How?”
“You went out with him.”
Oh.
Talk about unexpected. Charity glanced at Josh, then away. She sipped her wine, more for something to do than because she was thirsty. Her confusion faded and she found herself feeling a little gooey inside. Maybe the wild wall sex wasn’t the smartest decision she’d ever made, but maybe it hadn’t been a total mistake.
“I won’t be going out with him again,” she murmured.
“Good.”
She glanced at Josh from under her lashes. “He, ah, has a fondness for the Civil War. One of the bedrooms is devoted to miniature displays of various battles. There are buildings and roads and little tiny trees.”
His mouth twitched. “I’m sure a lot of research goes into making those.”
“I’m sure it does.”
She shifted so she was facing him, tucking her right leg under her. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because I’m not really a sports person.” She paused. “So how good were you?”
He laughed. “I was the best. Ranked number one, and for a couple of years that was against Lance Armstrong. You name a race and I’ve probably won it. I had multimillion-dollar endorsement deals. I still have a couple. I was on the cover of every racing magazine and most sports-related publications. I’ve been in People’s sexiest issues a couple of times.”
“I read People,” she murmured, knowing she would have looked at his picture as just one of the pretty people who weren’t real. “Now I’m getting scared again.”
“Why?”
“It’s the rock star thing. I never had that fantasy.”
“I can’t play guitar.”
“You know what I mean. The fame. I never wanted any association with someone well known. My life is quiet and I prefer it that way.”
“I’m not famous now.”
“You are, but it’s different here. I told you my mom and I moved around a lot when I was young. All I ever wanted was a place to belong. Roots. Connection. Family. Mostly family. I don’t need to be important to the world. In fact I don’t want that—too much responsibility. But I do want someone to care, if that makes sense.”
“It does.”
THE LAMP BEHIND THEM caught the lighter tones of Charity’s soft brown hair. It played with the side of her face, making her eyes seem larger and more mysterious. She had a look about her, a combination of satisfaction and “what the hell was I thinking?”
Not that Josh had any answers. The sex hadn’t been planned, but it sure had been good. One second he’d been pissed about her date with Robert and how unexpectedly good she’d looked, the next he’d been hell bent for taking anything she offered. He wanted her again, but slower this time. He wanted her in his bed, na**d, with all the time in the world to explore her body, touch her soft skin. He wanted to taste her everywhere. He wanted to make her come in a thousand different ways. He wanted to lose himself in her over and over again. So much for being a guy who didn’t ever get involved.
“You have the Hendrixes,” she said. “They’re your family.”
It took him a second to remember what they were talking about. “They’ve always been good to me. Denise wanted a daughter. After three boys she was desperate to try one more time. She really wanted a girl. She got three.”
Charity’s eyes widened. “Must have been a shock.”
“Uh-huh. By the time I moved in, the girls were about three. They were a handful. Still are. Denise was pretty sick after they were born. For a while, the doctors were afraid she wasn’t going to pull through. The boys were scared and there were three babies to worry about. To make the kids feel better, their dad said they could name the triplets.” He grinned.
“That sounds like trouble.”
“Not so bad. They’re Nevada, Montana and Dakota.”
“It could be worse.”
She couldn’t catch her breath, she thought, torn between the way his mouth moved on her br**sts and the way his fingers moved between her legs. Couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but feel the waves of pleasure building inside of her.
She had to hang on to him to stay upright, to concentrate on her balance. He straightened and kissed her mouth, claiming her with a passion that pushed her closer to the edge.
Then she felt it. The telltale hum that began deep inside her, the warning clenching that her orgasm was nearly there, practically a sure thing. And just as she braced herself for the release she knew was going to be incredible, Josh stopped.
She stared at him, unable to believe what was happening. His hands reached between them and she realized he was unfastening his jeans. Before she could join in and help, he’d freed his thick erection. She quickly pushed her panties to the ground and stepped out of them. He grabbed her around the h*ps and boosted her up, so she was pressed against the wall, her body settling onto his arousal.
This was impossible, she thought frantically. She’d never done anything like this. She couldn’t touch the ground, she was completely dependent on him supporting her. There was no way she could relax enough to—
He moved inside of her. He pushed in hard, thrusting up and back, filling her. His body rubbed against her, teasing her swollen parts even as he pleasured her from the inside. She wrapped her legs around his hips, her arms around his neck and hung on for the ride.
It didn’t take long. She’d been so close that in a dozen or so thrusts, she wasn’t thinking anymore. She was feeling how he stretched her, savoring every aroused nerve ending quiver, giving herself over to the promise that any second now she would explode.
She came with a cry, her body shuddering, drawing him in deeper. She lost herself in the pleasure. He pushed in faster and deeper, taking everything she offered, drawing out her release until she was too weak to do much more than lean into him. Then he was shuddering, as well, going still, his hot breath fanning her cheek.
They stayed like that far longer than she would have thought possible. When she was sure he had to be ready to collapse from holding her, he slowly slipped back, gently lowering her legs to the floor. When she’d regained her footing, Charity did her best to straighten only to find she was still a little wobbly. Josh grabbed her around the waist.
“You okay?” he asked.
Okay? How could she be okay? She’d just had incredible up-against-the-wall sex with a man she barely knew. Something she never did. She’d run a background check on the last guy she’d slept with, and that had been after three months of serious dating. What did she really know about Josh except he was probably going to break her heart?
“The question wasn’t supposed to be that hard.”
“Sorry,” she glanced into his eyes, then away. “I was thinking.”
“Dangerous, especially now.”
She tried standing on her own again and managed to stay upright. The shoes weren’t helping, so she stepped out of them, which lowered her about three inches. Her right sandal landed on top of her panties.
Physical balance wasn’t her only issue, she thought. Her head was spinning. What the hell had just happened? Not that she needed that question answered. Maybe the better issue was why. Why hadn’t she stopped to think?
He gently touched her cheek. “Are you okay?” he asked again.
She nodded, figuring he wouldn’t want to know the truth. Second thoughts didn’t begin to cover her emotional freefall. Thirty-eighth thoughts were more like it. She’d had sex with Josh. Willingly. Wildly. In those moments, in his arms, she’d been someone else.
Or the person she was always meant to be, a little voice in her head whispered.
No way, she told herself. No. That wasn’t it.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Her shirt was still tucked into her skirt, but was hanging back down over her butt. Her bra was somewhere on the floor. It only took him a few seconds to look decent again, but she had a tougher road. Rather than risk struggling, she pulled up her shirt and reknotted it, figuring she would deal with the bra and panties later. When she was leaving.
Unless she was supposed to leave now.
She’d never been one for casual sex and honestly, she didn’t know the rules.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said, his hazel-green eyes staring deeply into her own.
“I doubt that.” He would have to be beyond psychic to make it through the maze that was her mind.
“I don’t do this every day,” he told her. “The rumors, the things people say, they’re not true.”
“They’re mostly true,” she said. “The first week I was here, I saw that woman waiting in your room. I haven’t seen her around town, so I figure you imported her.”
“No. I didn’t ask her to be there. Hell, I didn’t know her. She got someone in housekeeping to let her in.”
Information she was sure he thought she would find comforting. “Now you’re going to tell me you told her to get dressed and sent her on her way.”
“I did.” When she would have looked away, he touched her chin. “I mean it, Charity.”
The funny thing was, she wanted to believe him. Talk about confusing.
He took her hand and drew her into the room. A single lamp in the corner provided a little light. He flipped on a couple more.
“Can I get you something?” he asked. “Wine? Coffee? Dessert?”
She hesitated. Wine sounded good, but she couldn’t face the thought of one of the room-service people seeing her in Josh’s room, then telling the entire town about it.
He motioned to his left. “I have a private stash.”
She followed the movement.
What he had was a mini-fridge and a small under-the-counter wine refrigerator.
“Something red?”
He grinned. “My favorite color.”
While he picked a wine, she collected her bra and panties, then ducked into the half bath in the corner. By the time she was done straightening and had returned to the living room of his suite, he’d poured them each a glass and turned on the gas fireplace.
“Now you’re going for the romance thing?” she asked. “Isn’t it a little late?”
“You mean because I already got the girl?” He led her to the sofa and settled next to her.
“You got the girl in a bright and shiny new way. You have a lot of upper body strength.”
“I should accept the compliment with a knowing smile,” he said as he put his arm around her. “Instead I’ll tell the truth, which is that it’s all about leverage.”
She winced. “Not sure I wanted to know that.”
“Why?”
She stared at the fire, trying not to enjoy the moment too much. “Not the mechanics. The fact that you have so much experience that you can talk about them. It’s scary.”
He angled toward her, which meant his warm arm wasn’t around her, but he left his hand on her shoulder. “I won’t lie to you. I had a great time when I was in my early twenties. I was a well-known athlete and women were everywhere. I took advantage of that.” He gave her a slow, sexy smile. “It was fun.”
And he was telling her this why? Because it wasn’t making her feel any better.
“I’m not that guy anymore,” he said. “I grew up a long time ago. But people don’t want to believe that. They like the legend and stories that go with that. If I’m still the guy on the poster, then they get glory by association.”
She could almost understand that. “The opposite of the old saying that you can’t be a hero in your hometown?”
“Yeah. I can’t stop being a hero.” He grimaced. “That sounds arrogant. I’m not trying to be a jerk. I’m just saying that’s how it’s been with me for years. This town took care of me. They looked out for me and they feel they’ve earned a piece of me. They like thinking I have a different woman in my room every night because it feeds the story and they like how that story plays.”
She thought about him riding his bike, coming back sweaty and everyone assuming it was because he was out getting lucky.
“It’s not like you want to correct the assumption,” she pointed out. “You don’t tell them differently.”
“I don’t want them to know the truth.”
That he couldn’t ride, she thought. He didn’t want to spoil the fantasy.
“I got divorced about two years ago,” he told her. “I dated a little after that, but nothing came of it. I moved back here, and since then…” Now it was his turn to glance away. “Let’s just say it’s been a hell of a dry spell.”
“Thank you. That makes me feel better. I’ve never been good at being one in a crowd.”
“Me, either.”
“What? There’s no crowd.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, please. Do not even pretend I’m sleeping with Robert,” she told him. “We’ve had all of three dates. Besides, he’s not my type.”
“That’s not what you were saying earlier.”
“You annoyed me,” she told him. “On purpose. What was I supposed to say?”
“You annoyed me, too.”
“How?”
“You went out with him.”
Oh.
Talk about unexpected. Charity glanced at Josh, then away. She sipped her wine, more for something to do than because she was thirsty. Her confusion faded and she found herself feeling a little gooey inside. Maybe the wild wall sex wasn’t the smartest decision she’d ever made, but maybe it hadn’t been a total mistake.
“I won’t be going out with him again,” she murmured.
“Good.”
She glanced at Josh from under her lashes. “He, ah, has a fondness for the Civil War. One of the bedrooms is devoted to miniature displays of various battles. There are buildings and roads and little tiny trees.”
His mouth twitched. “I’m sure a lot of research goes into making those.”
“I’m sure it does.”
She shifted so she was facing him, tucking her right leg under her. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because I’m not really a sports person.” She paused. “So how good were you?”
He laughed. “I was the best. Ranked number one, and for a couple of years that was against Lance Armstrong. You name a race and I’ve probably won it. I had multimillion-dollar endorsement deals. I still have a couple. I was on the cover of every racing magazine and most sports-related publications. I’ve been in People’s sexiest issues a couple of times.”
“I read People,” she murmured, knowing she would have looked at his picture as just one of the pretty people who weren’t real. “Now I’m getting scared again.”
“Why?”
“It’s the rock star thing. I never had that fantasy.”
“I can’t play guitar.”
“You know what I mean. The fame. I never wanted any association with someone well known. My life is quiet and I prefer it that way.”
“I’m not famous now.”
“You are, but it’s different here. I told you my mom and I moved around a lot when I was young. All I ever wanted was a place to belong. Roots. Connection. Family. Mostly family. I don’t need to be important to the world. In fact I don’t want that—too much responsibility. But I do want someone to care, if that makes sense.”
“It does.”
THE LAMP BEHIND THEM caught the lighter tones of Charity’s soft brown hair. It played with the side of her face, making her eyes seem larger and more mysterious. She had a look about her, a combination of satisfaction and “what the hell was I thinking?”
Not that Josh had any answers. The sex hadn’t been planned, but it sure had been good. One second he’d been pissed about her date with Robert and how unexpectedly good she’d looked, the next he’d been hell bent for taking anything she offered. He wanted her again, but slower this time. He wanted her in his bed, na**d, with all the time in the world to explore her body, touch her soft skin. He wanted to taste her everywhere. He wanted to make her come in a thousand different ways. He wanted to lose himself in her over and over again. So much for being a guy who didn’t ever get involved.
“You have the Hendrixes,” she said. “They’re your family.”
It took him a second to remember what they were talking about. “They’ve always been good to me. Denise wanted a daughter. After three boys she was desperate to try one more time. She really wanted a girl. She got three.”
Charity’s eyes widened. “Must have been a shock.”
“Uh-huh. By the time I moved in, the girls were about three. They were a handful. Still are. Denise was pretty sick after they were born. For a while, the doctors were afraid she wasn’t going to pull through. The boys were scared and there were three babies to worry about. To make the kids feel better, their dad said they could name the triplets.” He grinned.
“That sounds like trouble.”
“Not so bad. They’re Nevada, Montana and Dakota.”
“It could be worse.”
