Chasing the Prophecy
Page 70
“That makes sense,” Rachel said. “It’s just so hard. Attacking Felrook seems so hopeless. I can’t imagine what secret Jason could learn that would make a difference.”
“That is where faith becomes necessary,” Galloran said. “I can’t envision what he will learn either. If I could, Jason’s quest would be pointless. Faith isn’t knowledge, Rachel. Faith is a tool. Faith keeps us going until we get the knowledge. Faith keeps us striving until we reach the consequences of our most important decisions.”
“What if we have faith in something that’s wrong?” Rachel asked.
“Then we’re heading for disappointment. But even misplaced faith can help us gain knowledge. We try to be smart about where we put our faith. And we adjust as we learn more.”
“You’re convinced the prophecy is real,” Rachel said.
“I’m convinced. If I thought it was false, I would turn this army around. I do not wish to hand Maldor an easy victory.”
“So I just need to forget about my doubts?”
“That choice is yours to make. If you mean to press forward, you must overcome your concerns. For anything worth accomplishing, we can always find reasons to doubt, just as we can also find reasons to proceed. I have weighed my alternatives. In these circumstances—with my fate in the balance, with your fate in the balance, with the fate of the world in the balance—I have chosen to side with faith and hope over doubt and despair.”
“We had faith in the Word,” Rachel reminded him.
“And the Word did not perform as we expected. It was not the end of the journey, as we had hoped, but it was part of the journey, perhaps a necessary part. Though I spent long years in the dungeons of Felrook, I do not regret my faith in the Word. That faith helped me eventually learn the truth of the matter, and brought me to where I now stand.”
“Okay,” Rachel said.
“This army is marching to war,” Galloran said. “You must decide how you will proceed. I hope you will have faith in the prophecy and faith in my judgment. Without your participation I’m not sure we can win. But if you ask it of me, Rachel, I will send you home. I can always press onward hoping that your role has already been fulfilled.”
Rachel didn’t need time to consider a response. She respected and loved Galloran. She had promised Nedwin that she would protect him. She couldn’t imagine ditching him. “I won’t abandon you. I won’t abandon Jason and everyone. This conversation has helped me. I think I can manage my worries now. I’m sorry if I’ve been a pain. I didn’t want to see us tricked because I didn’t fully explain myself. Your thinking makes sense to me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I went home now. We have to try.”
Galloran patted her shoulder. “We’re lucky to have you. You’re a very intelligent young woman. Please come to me if you have other concerns or if you perceive other alternatives.”
He stood, removed his blindfold, and exited the tent. Ferrin and Tark returned a moment later.
Ferrin looked a little shamefaced. “Sorry. I talked to Galloran behind your back. I could tell you were having a difficult time, and I thought he could help better than anyone. I hope I didn’t make you too uncomfortable.”
Rachel hugged the displacer. “Thanks, Ferrin. I needed that. Galloran helped me. I feel a lot better.”
Ferrin gently pushed her away, his hands on her upper arms. “Are you sure? Or are you pretending to be satisfied?”
“I’m pretty sure,” Rachel said. “There’s no way to erase all doubt, but Galloran gave me enough reasons to trust the prophecy again.”
“We’re marching into a death trap,” Ferrin clarified. “The prophecy never promised success. None of that has changed.”
“I know,” Rachel said. “We still have plenty of reasons to stress out.”
“The period before a battle can be worse than the battle itself,” Tark said. “It certainly taxes my nerves more.”
“I agree,” Ferrin said. “Best not to obsess about it. From all appearances we will not have to concern ourselves with battle, not until we reach the western pass. For now we merely need to survive long marches and cool nights. Shall I brew some mint tea?”
Rachel and Tark approved.
* * *
As more days went by, the army passed through a region of fertile farmland and prosperous villages. Most of the people hid as the army approached. A handful of volunteers joined them. Up ahead, the Graywall Mountains drew nearer. Rachel knew that Felrook awaited behind those mountains, but she remained at peace with the decision Galloran had helped her reach.
When the army neared the mouth of the western pass through the mountains, they found a force of four hundred awaiting them—a hundred covered in moss, a hundred clad in ivy, a hundred draped in vines, and a hundred bristling with black thorns. Four of the more skilled acolytes who Rachel remembered from Mianamon stood at the front of the company, wearing stately gray robes.
Rachel enjoyed catching up with the acolytes, even if they regarded her odd apparel with uncertainty and treated her with remote courtesy. Rachel hadn’t been close to any of them, but they brought news that Ulani and the other women were well; not to mention they provided practical support for the upcoming battle.
Galloran had prepared his men to expect the help of the treefolk, but Rachel could tell that many of the soldiers viewed their new allies with emotions ranging from suspicion to wonderment. After meeting with the acolytes and some of the leaders among the treefolk, Galloran decided to employ the majority of the treefolk as scouts at present.
The day after pausing near the mouth of the pass, the Amar Kabal joined them. Thousands in number, the seedfolk were all mounted, the women favoring longbows, the men carrying swords and spears. Their armor looked light and fancy compared to the protective gear worn by the army from Trensicourt, and their weapons were of much more elegant workmanship. The seedfolk brought with them hundreds of orantium spheres, including more than twenty of the larger gatecrashers.
Among the Amar Kabal, Rachel was pleased to discover several familiar faces. Andrus and Delissa were with them. Andrus told Rachel of how he had collected Delissa’s amar after she’d been blown into a deep gulf while trying to pass through Howling Notch. Delissa appeared younger than before, bright-eyed and fresh-faced, and seemed eager to test her marksmanship in the upcoming conflict.
Lodan, the only son of Jasher and Farfalee, was also with the host. Rachel told him all she knew about his parents and his uncle Drake. He looked unchanged from the last time she’d seen him, even though he had died in the interim. Since it had been his First Death, Lodan had been reborn at the same age as when he had perished. Jasher had been reborn not long before him, so standing together they would have looked like brothers.
“That is where faith becomes necessary,” Galloran said. “I can’t envision what he will learn either. If I could, Jason’s quest would be pointless. Faith isn’t knowledge, Rachel. Faith is a tool. Faith keeps us going until we get the knowledge. Faith keeps us striving until we reach the consequences of our most important decisions.”
“What if we have faith in something that’s wrong?” Rachel asked.
“Then we’re heading for disappointment. But even misplaced faith can help us gain knowledge. We try to be smart about where we put our faith. And we adjust as we learn more.”
“You’re convinced the prophecy is real,” Rachel said.
“I’m convinced. If I thought it was false, I would turn this army around. I do not wish to hand Maldor an easy victory.”
“So I just need to forget about my doubts?”
“That choice is yours to make. If you mean to press forward, you must overcome your concerns. For anything worth accomplishing, we can always find reasons to doubt, just as we can also find reasons to proceed. I have weighed my alternatives. In these circumstances—with my fate in the balance, with your fate in the balance, with the fate of the world in the balance—I have chosen to side with faith and hope over doubt and despair.”
“We had faith in the Word,” Rachel reminded him.
“And the Word did not perform as we expected. It was not the end of the journey, as we had hoped, but it was part of the journey, perhaps a necessary part. Though I spent long years in the dungeons of Felrook, I do not regret my faith in the Word. That faith helped me eventually learn the truth of the matter, and brought me to where I now stand.”
“Okay,” Rachel said.
“This army is marching to war,” Galloran said. “You must decide how you will proceed. I hope you will have faith in the prophecy and faith in my judgment. Without your participation I’m not sure we can win. But if you ask it of me, Rachel, I will send you home. I can always press onward hoping that your role has already been fulfilled.”
Rachel didn’t need time to consider a response. She respected and loved Galloran. She had promised Nedwin that she would protect him. She couldn’t imagine ditching him. “I won’t abandon you. I won’t abandon Jason and everyone. This conversation has helped me. I think I can manage my worries now. I’m sorry if I’ve been a pain. I didn’t want to see us tricked because I didn’t fully explain myself. Your thinking makes sense to me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I went home now. We have to try.”
Galloran patted her shoulder. “We’re lucky to have you. You’re a very intelligent young woman. Please come to me if you have other concerns or if you perceive other alternatives.”
He stood, removed his blindfold, and exited the tent. Ferrin and Tark returned a moment later.
Ferrin looked a little shamefaced. “Sorry. I talked to Galloran behind your back. I could tell you were having a difficult time, and I thought he could help better than anyone. I hope I didn’t make you too uncomfortable.”
Rachel hugged the displacer. “Thanks, Ferrin. I needed that. Galloran helped me. I feel a lot better.”
Ferrin gently pushed her away, his hands on her upper arms. “Are you sure? Or are you pretending to be satisfied?”
“I’m pretty sure,” Rachel said. “There’s no way to erase all doubt, but Galloran gave me enough reasons to trust the prophecy again.”
“We’re marching into a death trap,” Ferrin clarified. “The prophecy never promised success. None of that has changed.”
“I know,” Rachel said. “We still have plenty of reasons to stress out.”
“The period before a battle can be worse than the battle itself,” Tark said. “It certainly taxes my nerves more.”
“I agree,” Ferrin said. “Best not to obsess about it. From all appearances we will not have to concern ourselves with battle, not until we reach the western pass. For now we merely need to survive long marches and cool nights. Shall I brew some mint tea?”
Rachel and Tark approved.
* * *
As more days went by, the army passed through a region of fertile farmland and prosperous villages. Most of the people hid as the army approached. A handful of volunteers joined them. Up ahead, the Graywall Mountains drew nearer. Rachel knew that Felrook awaited behind those mountains, but she remained at peace with the decision Galloran had helped her reach.
When the army neared the mouth of the western pass through the mountains, they found a force of four hundred awaiting them—a hundred covered in moss, a hundred clad in ivy, a hundred draped in vines, and a hundred bristling with black thorns. Four of the more skilled acolytes who Rachel remembered from Mianamon stood at the front of the company, wearing stately gray robes.
Rachel enjoyed catching up with the acolytes, even if they regarded her odd apparel with uncertainty and treated her with remote courtesy. Rachel hadn’t been close to any of them, but they brought news that Ulani and the other women were well; not to mention they provided practical support for the upcoming battle.
Galloran had prepared his men to expect the help of the treefolk, but Rachel could tell that many of the soldiers viewed their new allies with emotions ranging from suspicion to wonderment. After meeting with the acolytes and some of the leaders among the treefolk, Galloran decided to employ the majority of the treefolk as scouts at present.
The day after pausing near the mouth of the pass, the Amar Kabal joined them. Thousands in number, the seedfolk were all mounted, the women favoring longbows, the men carrying swords and spears. Their armor looked light and fancy compared to the protective gear worn by the army from Trensicourt, and their weapons were of much more elegant workmanship. The seedfolk brought with them hundreds of orantium spheres, including more than twenty of the larger gatecrashers.
Among the Amar Kabal, Rachel was pleased to discover several familiar faces. Andrus and Delissa were with them. Andrus told Rachel of how he had collected Delissa’s amar after she’d been blown into a deep gulf while trying to pass through Howling Notch. Delissa appeared younger than before, bright-eyed and fresh-faced, and seemed eager to test her marksmanship in the upcoming conflict.
Lodan, the only son of Jasher and Farfalee, was also with the host. Rachel told him all she knew about his parents and his uncle Drake. He looked unchanged from the last time she’d seen him, even though he had died in the interim. Since it had been his First Death, Lodan had been reborn at the same age as when he had perished. Jasher had been reborn not long before him, so standing together they would have looked like brothers.
